Meant-To-Be Marriage

by Rebecca Winters

  “My last appointment left through the other door of the office. So what else were you telling Maureen about me?”

  “That’s our secret,” the older woman quipped. “Don’t want you to get a swelled head too soon.”

  These days Jarod seemed to smile more and more. It had to be a sign that he was happy.

  Her breath caught. “I came by to take you out for a change.”

  “I like the sound of that. Give me two minutes to make a phone call, and I’m all yours.”

  Since it was a warmer Autumn day than usual, they walked from his office to the drive-in holding hands.

  Halfway there he kissed her cheek. “You don’t know how many times I yearned to do this when we’d happen to meet on the street in Cannon.”

  “You mean when I managed to meet you, accidentally?”

  “How many times did you lie in wait for me I didn’t know about?”

  “Every time.”

  Her confession must have shocked him because he stopped walking for a minute.

  “You’re serious.”

  “Yes. Now perhaps you understand the depth of my guilt. I knew your schedule, where you went to eat, the people you visited on a regular basis, the hours you worked at the farm and the hours you saw clients in your office.

  “I tried not to take advantage of it all the time, but I spent those nine months plotting and scheming to make the most of every week where you were concerned. I’m sure you think less of me for doing that, that’s part of the reason I left Cannon with every intention of never seeing you again.”

  He slid his arm around her shoulders before they continued walking. “Now that I think about it, you did seem to show up at the precise moment I was aching for you. It’s a good thing you did. Otherwise I would have had to find more creative ways to make certain our paths crossed.”

  Impatient with herself she said, “Let’s not talk about Cannon anymore. It’s too painful. I can’t relate to that period now. Tonight we’re going to experience another first and go to a movie together. There’s only one in town, so you have no choice over the selection.”

  His hand slid down her back to squeeze her waist. “That’s all right because in any case, I’ll be watching you most of the time. I can’t take my eyes off of you.”

  While she basked in his attention, they ate a quick dinner, then headed into the theater across the street.

  “Gilly’s back,” she whispered once the film had started. “She brought some brochures in case we’d like to go to Maui for our honeymoon.”

  “Lovely as that sounds, how would you like to fly to Tahiti instead? There’s a remote little island where I can get you all to myself.”

  His choice of words coupled by the intimate tone in his voice sent tingles of awareness through her nervous system.

  “I wish it were Christmas right now.”

  “It’ll be Christmas for me on a twenty-four basis once I can go to bed with you every night.”

  She let out an unconscious sigh. Their wedding was only a few days away now, but it seemed like a lifetime.

  “I’m in agony, too.” He read her mind. His thumb made circles against her palm. His touch was like liquid fire, dissolving her insides. By the time they left the theater to walk to their cars, the ache building inside her was close to unbearable.

  When they reached the apartment and he’d walked her to the door, she linked her arms around his neck. “I haven’t asked Gilly yet, but I thought it would be fun if she and Alex came for dinner tomorrow night. If you’ll tell me your favorite food, I’ll fix it.” The last was whispered against his lips. She needed his kiss desperately.

  In her amorous state, she was slow to pick up on the fact that he’d grown quiet and didn’t exhibit the passion he would normally have shown. Something was holding him back. She lifted her head.

  “What’s wrong, darling?”

  A pleading look had entered his eyes, as if he were hesitant to tell her what was on his mind.

  “Have they moved up the date of that absurd hearing?”

  “No. This is something else.”

  “If you’re hurting because your family hasn’t responded yet, don’t let it ruin this time for us. Like you told me earlier, you haven’t given up hope on them. In time they’ll have to come around. How could they not?” she cried.

  “This isn’t about my family, Sydney.” She heard him draw in a sharp breath. It alerted her that whatever was on his mind was so serious, he was afraid to tell her. That could only mean one thing…

  Her mouth went dry. She eased out of his arms. “A-are you having second thoughts?”

  “I knew you were going to ask that. It’s a question I refuse to answer because you know the truth. But what I have to tell you is going to upset you.” Tension palpitated between them. “The bishop has sent for me.”

  That did it all right. The bombshell she’d been dreading. They hadn’t even taken their vows yet.

  “When we were in my office earlier, I told you I had to make a phone call before we could leave. It was to return his call.”

  On a level of one to ten for pain, with ten being the highest, hers was a twenty. “Do you think the Pope has given permission for you to leave, and the bishop wants to tell you in person?” She was grasping at straws and he knew it.

  That dreaded look of pity entered his eyes. She hated that look. He reached out to smooth some curls off her forehead. “No, Sydney. It’s way too soon for that to happen, if it’s ever going to.”

  “Could you ignore him then? I—I mean…legally? I mean, within the bounds of the Church?”

  “I know what you meant,” he whispered gently. “Of course I could ignore him. My business in Cannon is finished.”

  “But not your love for him or the Church—”

  “No. That will never be finished. He’s been a close friend for ten years. Naturally I couldn’t turn him down.”

  “I know.” She tried to smother her sob, but he heard it. His arms crushed her to him. Her face burrowed in his neck.

  “Do you have any idea what this is about?”

  “No.”

  “So it’s as easy as that? He calls, and you come?” Her voice trembled. She hated herself for asking that question, but she couldn’t help it.

  “The bishop is probably the most understanding man I’ve ever met in my life. He wouldn’t ask this of me if it weren’t serious. I have to go.”

  She nodded, afraid to look at him once she’d backed away from him. Already she was finding out what it felt like to come in second-best.

  The Church will always have a claim on him, her mother had prophesied.

  “H-how much does he know about me?”

  “Everything,” Jarod answered solemnly.

  “Even the kiss we shared?”

  “Yes. He had to know it all.”

  She let out another cry. “He must despise me.”

  “No, Sydney. It’s not in his nature.”

  Her heart raced like a runaway train traveling toward its doom. “You must have some idea of what he wants—”

  His eyes grew bleak. “I could make a few guesses, but since he never uses the phone to discuss personal matters, I’m as much in the dark as you are. He’s asked me to come as quickly as I can.”

  “How long will you have to be gone?” She couldn’t bear it.

  “I’m not sure, but you don’t have to worry. I’ll be back in time for our wedding.”

  “Does he know we’re getting married?”

  “I didn’t tell him, but it’s possible he’s already talked to Rick.”

  “Then it’s probable he wants to stop you before it’s too late!”

  “I can’t answer for him. The only thing important here is that I’m marrying you on Saturday.”

  “Maybe, maybe not.”

  “Sydney—”

  “I’m frightened, Jarod.”

  “I know you are. I wish I could take that fear away. You’re going to have to trust me.”

&
nbsp; Her first test…

  She tried to pull herself together. “When are you going to leave?”

  “Right now.”

  Her pain was excruciating. “There aren’t any flights to Bismarck this time of night.”

  “The Church has a plane for emergencies. He’s sent it for me. There’ll be a car waiting at the airport to take me to the rectory.”

  The bishop had sent a plane for him?

  Her pain translated into borderline anger. She fought to control it. “If you knew about this before we went out for the evening, why didn’t you tell me? We didn’t have to go to that movie.”

  “Because I wanted to be with you tonight. I wouldn’t have missed the evening you planned for anything.”

  “Don’t you think I realize how important his call was to you?” she cried. “You could have caught a commercial flight earlier. If I’d known in time, I could have found a substitute for tomorrow and flown to Bismarck with you.”

  “Would you have gone to your parents to wait for me?”

  “Probably not,” she admitted. They’d hurt her too much by their silence.

  “Then it’s better for you to remain here rather than wait for me in an empty hotel room.”

  She couldn’t fault his logic, but it hurt. It hurt so much.

  He reached for her but she couldn’t respond. “All this time tonight you’ve had the bishop’s business on your mind,” she muttered.

  “No. You were the only person on my mind.”

  But not in your heart.

  In order to live with Jarod, she had to share that space with his other love.

  She tried to swallow. “I want to believe you.”

  “Then just do it.”

  Easier said than done.

  “Could this be a matter of life and death? Do you think that’s why he sent a plane for you?”

  He eyed her with too much compassion. “I swear to you I don’t know what this is about, but it sounds serious.”

  The fact that Jarod couldn’t talk about it meant he was in terrible turmoil.

  So was she. In a minute she was going to lose her dinner and the treats they’d eaten at the movie.

  “Of course you have to go. I’m being exactly the kind of person I don’t want to be.” Her voice wobbled.

  “I’ll find out what he wants and take the next flight back.”

  “What about your work?”

  “On the way to the airport I’ll leave instructions for Maureen on her voice mail.”

  Devastated by this unexpected turn of events, she unlocked her apartment door to keep distance between them. “You need to go. Don’t let me keep you any longer.”

  “You’re not keeping me, Sydney. I chose to be with you until the last moment.”

  It was the until the last moment part that was killing her.

  “Have a good flight.”

  “Sydney—” His deep voice sounded gravelly.

  “Please come back safely.”

  Please come back.

  She shut the door, terrified of what all this could mean for the two of them.

  Theologically, he was a priest forever.

  “Tom?”

  “Oh good, Jarod. You’re here. Thank you for coming at such an unearthly hour. Come on in.”

  Jarod entered the bishop’s private lounge. Only a few weeks ago he’d sat in this very room while they’d said their goodbyes. Being back here so soon was like déjà vu, except the intervening time with Sydney had changed him in ways that he was no longer the same person. Yet he couldn’t deny the feeling of homecoming which was powerful.

  The bishop sat down opposite him wearing a robe over his pajamas. No doubt he’d been asleep when the housekeeper had awakened him to tell him Jarod had arrived.

  Tall and trim, he made an imposing figure, with or without his priestly vestments. He reminded Jarod a little of his own father, except that the bishop was warmer by nature and more open with everyone.

  “I’m sure you’re wondering why the call, and why the haste? For your information, Jeanine Adams, one of your parishioners, was hit by a car this afternoon on her way home from the high school.”

  Jeanine?

  Jarod’s eyes closed tightly. It was she who’d been instrumental in his finding out where Sydney had moved.

  “Was she killed?” he whispered. The sight of her motherless three children flashed before his eyes. A deep despair washed over him.

  “No, but if she recovers, she could be paralyzed.”

  He groaned in pain.

  “It’s my understanding that when she came to, she called for Father Kendall. Everyone wants and needs Father Kendall.”

  Jarod got to his feet.

  “Like the rest of the parish, she’s been told you’re still on retreat. Father Lane has been with the family. Rick Olsen and his wife have organized some other families to take in meals and see about the children’s care while her husband stays at her bedside.”

  Jarod covered his face. Talk about pain…

  “It’s devastating I know,” Tom commiserated. “I also realize it’s especially hard for you to hear bad news like this at this vulnerable point in your life.”

  Jarod stiffened.

  Yes. He was vulnerable. He had self-doubts—fears that he couldn’t live up to Sydney’s expectations—concerns he might not be all things to her.

  Did Tom believe Jarod was also vulnerable enough to consider returning to the priesthood?

  Jeanine’s accident was a monumental tragedy, something no one could have foreseen or imagined. But by sending for Jarod, Tom knew how the news would impact him.

  The older priest had made it clear he was personally pained by Jarod’s decision to leave. In his own way, Tom had treated him like he would a son if he’d had one.

  Did he hope this horrific situation might pull Jarod back into the fold? He knew Jarod was conflicted, that a part of his heart remained with the priesthood.

  His hands knotted into fists. “I’m no longer a priest. I can’t go to her in that capacity now.”

  The bishop eyed him for a long time. “Maybe not now…”

  Maybe not now?

  Jarod had his answer. Tom still hadn’t given up on him.

  Sydney’s fears were well founded.

  Like a father who’d lost a son and yearned for him, Tom wanted him back in the society that had brought them together in the first place and had brought both of them so much joy.

  He couldn’t deny he missed that camaraderie known only by those who made up its ranks. The desire to rush to Jeanine’s side and try to give what little comfort he could was almost overpowering.

  But he could only be there for her as a friend, not as the priest who had the authority to bless her and use his office to pray with her. If he showed up at the hospital, it would be as a mere man, one who’d left the priesthood.

  The shock of learning his changed status might do incalculable damage to her both emotionally and physically.

  “God has given you this opportunity to rethink your decision, Jarod. With more contemplation and prayer, you could once again wear the mantle that has fit you so well. You’re beloved to all who know you.”

  Kind as those words were, it was the bishop in Tom talking now.

  “Have you been with Sydney Taylor?”

  “Yes.”

  “I see. And what has come of your reunion?”

  “We’re being married on Saturday.”

  “So soon?” The older man sounded wounded.

  “Yes. She’s as anxious as I am to start our life together.”

  The older man sighed as if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. “Under the circumstances, I realize you won’t like the question I’m going to ask, but out of my love for you, I have to ask it.”

  “Go ahead,” Jarod said quietly.

  “Even though you and Sydney have planned your wedding and are looking forward to it, does she truly mean more to you than one of your parishioners who’s in dire
need of the help only you can give?

  “I’m not asking you to answer me. I’m urging you to search your soul one more time for the sake of your own ultimate happiness.

  “Naturally having been with Sydney for the last little while, you have a whole new perspective on the decision that took you away from us. All I ask is that you stay here a few days and contemplate the enormity of what you’re about to do.

  “The housekeeper has made up a room for you, the same one you’ve used many times on your overnight visits. In the morning I’d like you to join me for breakfast and we’ll talk some more.”

  Jarod nodded.

  The older man’s eyes misted. “I have to tell you it’s good to see you again.”

  He cleared his throat. “I feel the same, Tom. Nothing’s changed in that regard, and never will.”

  “Good. Now go to bed. You must be exhausted. If you’re hungry, feel free to get what you want from the kitchen.”

  “Thank you. Good night.”

  The thought of food was insupportable to him. He went up to the room he’d slept in on other occasions and stretched out on top of the covers, cushioning the back of his head with the palms of his hands.

  When he recalled the last time he’d been with Jeanine, tears trickled from the corners of his eyes.

  Now she could be paralyzed.

  A savage sound escaped his throat as his mind wandered over the rest of that red-letter day when Jeanine had managed to find Sydney.

  He’d gone to a service station to make a phone call. While he waited for the outside phone to be free, he went inside to get a couple of dollars’ worth of quarters. After the teens rode off on their bikes, he went back out and picked up the receiver, depositing two quarters.

  The information operator connected him to park headquarters in Wyoming and told him how much money to feed in the box.

  He listened to the menu and pressed the digit that would give him a live voice.

  It rang a long time. Finally he heard, “Yellowstone National Park.” That had been the beginning of his journey down a different path.

  Tonight Tom had asked him which woman needed him more. Where could Jarod do the most good?

  For the rest of the night Jarod pondered that question. Interestingly enough, Tom hadn’t asked what it was Jarod wanted.