Meant-To-Be Marriage

by Rebecca Winters

She pulled to the side of the road and turned off the motor before jumping down from her Jeep.

  It was a couple of the younger rangers out on patrol. She walked over to their truck as they were getting out. “What’s up, guys?”

  They both grinned. While one of them started talking on his cell phone, the other one said, “Hey, Sydney. Ranger Smith told us to be on the lookout for you. If we saw you, we should pull you over and detain you while we search your car.”

  “You’re joking—”

  “Nope. He was dead serious.”

  “Do the police have some hot tip that a couple of students hid a stash of drugs in my car somewhere?”

  “I don’t know. We’re just obeying orders.”

  Frowning, she walked back to her car and opened the driver door. “Be my guest.”

  The two of them went over to her Jeep and did a thorough inspection. It was embarrassing to stand there while curious tourists slowed down as they drove by to find out what was going on. In a minute she noticed a blue car pull up behind the patrol truck and stop.

  Jarod?

  A wave of dizziness attacked her as he got out and started toward her on those long, powerful legs. His expression looked more forbidding than she’d ever seen it.

  The rangers nodded to him before taking off in their truck. A few seconds passed before she realized they’d pulled her Jeep over for Jarod’s sake.

  “I don’t know what you think you’re playing at,” he said with quiet savagery, “but I’d advise you to get in your car, turn it around, and head back to Gardiner.”

  She was trembling with pain. “How dare you involve Larry in this!”

  “It’s obvious you still don’t know me well or you’d understand I would dare anything where you’re concerned.”

  “Oh, I understand that all right—” She bristled with anger. “I found it out when those flowers came. Talk about illumination— But the gesture wasn’t necessary.”

  His breathing had grown ragged. “I thought every woman loved roses.”

  “Roses—” she almost shouted at him. “You sent me lilies!”

  He stared her down. “No. I sent you a dozen long stemmed hot-pink roses like the kind you threw in the surf. I wanted you to understand that you’ll never get rid of me.”

  She spread her hands in a nervous gesture. “You honestly sent me roses?”

  “All you have to do is call the florist and have them repeat back my order.”

  “But your note was with the lilies.”

  “Then that’s their problem.”

  Oh, no.

  She couldn’t swallow very well. “I—I guess there was a mixup and someone else received your gift. Jarod, I—I don’t know what to say.”

  “I don’t want you to say anything,” he ground out. “I want you to get in your car, or shall I pick you up and take you to your apartment in mine?”

  Regardless of the audience passing by, he’d do it without a qualm and there weren’t any rangers to protect her.

  “No,” she answered unsteadily. “I’ll meet you there.”

  His eyes had turned so dark, no one would guess at their brilliant green color. While he watched her every move, she got back in the Jeep, but she was shaking so hard, she had difficulty putting it in gear.

  Now that the understanding about the flowers had been cleared up, why was he so upset when she was the one dying inside? Didn’t he know how much he’d hurt her by not phoning her from Bismarck in the first place?

  The drive home passed in a blur of agony. He stayed right behind her. Every time she glanced in the rearview mirror, her eyes met the fiery accusation in his.

  Surely he understood how difficult it had been for her knowing the bishop had sent for him under such mysterious circumstances just days before their wedding was supposed to take place.

  Forcing air into her lungs, she pulled into her parking stall and jumped out of the car. Jarod closed in on her before she put her key in the lock of the apartment door.

  Once inside, he closed and locked it, then folded his arms across his chest as if he needed to do something with his negative energy.

  This was a side of Jarod totally foreign to her.

  “Just tell me one thing, Sydney.” He almost hissed the words. “Why were you really running away from me? The truth!”

  She tried to look everywhere except at him. “Because I didn’t want to hear what you had to say.”

  He took a shuddering breath. “Even if the flowers were the wrong ones, I sent you a note that should have been self-explanatory. What in heaven’s name went on in your mind to frighten you to the point you wouldn’t answer my phone calls?

  “If you’d listened to either of my messages, you would have known I was coming straight to your apartment from the airport.”

  Sydney wrung her hands. “You don’t understand.”

  “Make me,” he demanded, taking a step closer to her until she could scarcely breathe.

  “When I didn’t hear from you last night or this morning, I began to imagine all kinds of things.”

  “Go on.”

  She couldn’t breathe. “Jarod—”

  “Answer me.”

  “I was afraid you might not come back.”

  His jaw hardened. “You thought I was capable of doing that to you?”

  She shook her head. “I didn’t know.”

  “Our wedding is the day after tomorrow.”

  “But I didn’t think there was going to be a wedding.”

  “Because you just assumed that once I was back in Bismarck, I’d change my mind about you?”

  Sydney rubbed her palms against her hips nervously. “I feared the bishop’s power over you.”

  He grimaced. “There’s only one person who’s ever had that kind of power over me. It’s you, and you know it!”

  “I guess I’m still having trouble believing it. When you got off the phone so fast this morning, I jumped to too many false conclusions.”

  His hand carved a furrow through his black hair. “That’s why I sent the flowers. My visit with Tom put everything into perspective for me. I couldn’t wait to come home to you so we could talk about it. But it wasn’t something I wanted to discuss over the phone.”

  She drank in gulps of air, but it didn’t help her breathless state. “I realize that now.”

  “You know what hurts? To watch you take off for the Park, hoping I wouldn’t find you.”

  “It wasn’t like that, Jarod. I was in so much pain, I decided to find Gilly and talk to her.”

  “I’m the person you’re supposed to talk to.” There was a bluish tinge around his mouth. “I’m going to be your husband. You’re going to be my wife. We have no secrets. You have the right to call me anywhere, any time of the day or night, for whatever reason.”

  She bowed her head. “I realize that, but since you’d been on Ch-church business I—”

  “Correction,” he broke in. “I’m not a priest. I’m an ordinary man who was asked to come to the diocese by an old friend.”

  Sydney lifted her chin a fraction. “That’s splitting hairs, Jarod. Please don’t pretend about something this important.”

  His brows had become a black bar. “Who’s pretending?”

  “All right then. You’re not pretending.”

  “Thank you.”

  He sounded so bitter.

  “You honestly believed I went to see the bishop because I couldn’t help myself? That I felt the clarion call to return to the life I almost gave up for a woman?”

  She studied the ground for a minute before throwing her head back. “Yes! When you didn’t have the time to really talk to me, th-that’s what I thought!”

  His features hardened to steel. “Those roses I sent you meant that I was coming home to you permanently. They were my way of saying my love is for always and forever. For the rest of this life and the next.

  “If you don’t know it by now, then we have nothing, Sydney. You want to know why the bishop sent for me
at the midnight hour? I’ll tell you the truth.

  “You were right about his motives. He wants me back in the fold. He saw an opportunity to make me reconsider my decision and used it to full advantage.”

  Sydney shot him an alarmed glance. “What opportunity?”

  “The secretary who helped me search for you was hit by a car. They thought she was going to die. She asked for me. But when I got to the hospital, she’d taken a turn for the better.”

  “Oh thank heaven—”

  “Jeanine’s a wonderful friend, wife and mother. The bishop reminded me I had a whole parish of people like her who need me. Did the woman I love need me more?

  “This morning I told him yes. You needed me more. You needed me so your life could be complete. I told him I needed you more, so mine would be complete. Neither of us would ever be fulfilled without the other.

  “But it appears I was wrong about you. You don’t need me enough to overcome your guilt, or your fear of losing me. I’ve given you all the truth I have in me, but it’s not enough for you. I have a vision of spending my whole life trying to convince you.

  “That’s no life, Sydney. I’ll phone the pastor and tell him I’ve called off our wedding. You can tell your friends what you want. I’ll tell mine.

  “Certain members of the board at AmeriCore want to get rid of me. Now they’ll have their wish without putting me or Maureen through a needless, insufferable hearing.”

  He turned on his heel and in a few swift strides disappeared from the apartment.

  She ran after him, calling his name, but he kept going. As he drove out of sight, she felt her entire world collapse.

  CHAPTER TEN

  “DR. HAROLDSON?”

  “Yes, Sydney. Come on in.”

  She shut the principal’s office door and took a seat.

  “How are liking your position by now?”

  “The students are terrific, so are the teachers.”

  “But?”

  “My life has fallen apart. My fiancé called off our wedding over a week ago. I thought I could handle it, but I can’t.”

  “That’s what personal leave is for. Why are you still here?”

  “Because it’s so soon after school has started to turn my classes over to a substitute.”

  “Your attitude is very commendable, but under the circumstances, do you feel you’re giving the kids your very best right now?”

  “No,” she whispered. “That’s why I came in.”

  “Since it’s the weekend, it will give us time to find a substitute. Take all of next week off if you need it. Just give me a ring at some point and let me know how you’re progressing.”

  “Thank you so much. I’ve left detailed lesson plans on my desk, and I’ve written other instructions on the board. The substitute shouldn’t have any trouble following everything.”

  “If there is a problem, where can you be reached?”

  “At my parents’ in North Dakota.” At least that was her plan for the moment. She couldn’t think beyond it.

  Jarod hadn’t phoned or come near. He hadn’t returned any of her phone calls begging his forgiveness. No doubt he was in Europe by now.

  “I’ll leave you their number and my cell phone number.” She wrote everything down on a pad and handed him the slip. “Thank you for being so understanding.”

  He walked her to the door. “Let’s hope your trip home brings you the solace you need.”

  It won’t.

  But Sydney couldn’t stand her own company any longer, and Gilly didn’t need a complication like Sydney when she and Alex were so happy.

  After leaving school, she went home to pack and headed for the airport. She’d alerted her parents she was coming.

  It was eleven at night when she reached the house in her rental car. Without worrying about her suitcase, she got out and hurried up the steps.

  The porch door opened.

  “Am I welcome?” she asked when she saw their faces in the aperture. “I don’t mean for overnight. This afternoon I told the principal I needed time off. I didn’t know where else to go but home where…I used to be happy.”

  Tears glistened in her parents’ eyes.

  “The more important question is, will you forgive us?” her mother asked. “We’ve talked of nothing but you and Jarod since you brought him home to meet us.”

  “Jarod’s gone out of my life,” she said woodenly. “You were right, and I was wrong, so let’s not talk about forgiveness.”

  Her father put his arm around her. “We raised you the way our parents raised us. Mistakes have been made because we didn’t want to see you hurt. But our little girl’s hurting anyway, and that’s our fault.”

  “No, it isn’t, Dad.” She wiped her eyes. “Jarod told me some things about myself I need to acknowledge and work on.”

  “It’s time this family worked on things together,” her mother declared. “We’re going to do better. Come on in, honey. We’re thankful you’re home.”

  Her parents’ attitude was so nurturing, it was the balm Sydney needed as she walked in the house.

  “I saved dinner for you. All I have to do is warm it up, but if you’re not hungry…”

  “I’m not, but thanks anyway, Mom.”

  “Do you feel like talking, or do you just want to go to bed?”

  “That’s the trouble, Dad.” She burst into tears. “With Jarod gone, nothing matters anymore. Not eating, not sleeping. He’s my whole life, and I’ve lost him because of my pathetic lack of faith.

  “All these years I’ve gone my own way without wanting any spiritual help, so it’s my fault if I haven’t developed into the kind of woman Jarod needs. He deserves someone who believes in his love without question.

  “I’ve questioned everything, doubted everything. Who would want me for a wife?”

  “Now you’re being too hard on yourself,” her mother asserted. “He’s no ordinary man. Just knowing he’s an ex-priest would cause any woman to be concerned that he might yearn for his old life one day. You can’t blame yourself for that.”

  “But don’t you see?” she cried. “I failed him at the first opportunity to show him I trusted him.”

  Her dad patted the sofa so she would sit down next to him. “Tell us what happened.”

  Sydney didn’t need any encouragement to bear her soul. “So you see, he hates me now.”

  “I doubt that, honey. Any man who loved you enough to leave the priesthood couldn’t possibly hate you. But with his pride involved, I imagine he needs time to cool off.”

  She blinked. “His pride?”

  “Of course. It hurt him that you didn’t believe in him. But that’s because this is all so new to him.”

  “Your father’s right, Sydney. He’s used to people trusting him with their deepest secrets and fears. But you’re not people. You’re the woman he loves. That puts you in a special category.

  “What you two need is time. After all, he came right from the parish to ask you to marry him. It isn’t as if you had a long courtship.”

  “We had nine months—”

  Her father shook his head. “That was no courtship. Neither of you knew anything except the most superficial things about each other. I’m not ruling out the strong physical attraction, but there’s more to love than that.”

  “I know.”

  “You sound dead on your feet. I’ll bring in your bags while you get ready for bed.”

  “Thanks.”

  She hugged both her parents before going to her old room. It wasn’t until she was alone that she realized how kind they were being about Jarod. She’d been in so much pain, she was shocked to discover they could talk about him instead of closing up like they usually did.

  If they’d been like this when she’d first brought him home…

  No. It wouldn’t have made any difference.

  The fault for their breakup lay strictly at Sydney’s feet.

  Jarod hadn’t let her parents’ rigid attitude daunt him. In f
act he’d urged her to give them time to come around. He had more faith and trust in people than anyone else she knew. Those were two of his special gifts.

  Would that they could have been hers… Then she’d be with him tonight. They’d be married.

  Gut-wrenching pain incapacitated her. When her father walked in with her suitcase, she was lying on top of the bed sobbing.

  “Go ahead and cry, honey. Get it all out. It’ll make you feel better. God gave us tears for a reason.”

  How many times had she heard that since she was a little girl? The tears had always seemed to work because she always did feel a little better after.

  But not this time…

  She was a grown woman acting like a child. It was time she grew up.

  “Dad?” She slid off the bed. “It’s really good to be home, but I’m going back to Gardiner in the morning. I’ve made a mess of everything so far, but it isn’t fair to my students to leave them for a week because I can’t handle my personal life.”

  Her father nodded. “When we’re down, work’s a wonderful panacea for what’s ailing us. In time, things will get better.”

  They have to.

  “I’ll tell your mother.”

  Due to a delay in flight connections, Sydney didn’t return to Gardiner until late afternoon the next day under an overcast sky. On the way to the apartment she picked up a few groceries before pulling into her stall.

  A cold wind had sprung up. It disheveled her hair. There was going to be a storm. She shivered and hugged the sack next to her chest as she hurried inside the apartment with her suitcase.

  But no sooner had she shut the door than she heard a knock. Assuming it was a neighbor, she set her things down in the foyer and turned to open it again.

  A tall, superbly fit male dressed in jeans that molded his powerful thighs filled the aperture. His vibrant black hair brushed the collar of his blue denim shirt.

  No.

  It couldn’t be.

  It just couldn’t be.

  “Jarod?”

  The wonder, the joy in her voice was something he would treasure for the rest of his days.

  While he’d been waiting for her to react, he was afraid too much damage had been done. If she rejected him now, he didn’t know how he was going to go on living.