by Audrey Harte
“It is one of the things I love most about you, and I’m sorry I didn’t trust you enough to let old feelings go. I know I shouldn’t have compared you to my ex, and I know I shouldn’t have lied about not having a serious relationship before you. It’s just embarrassing, you know? How the whole thing went down. I was ashamed of the fact that I had trusted someone enough to believe she would never do something like that to me. I had trusted her enough to call her my girlfriend and live with her, and she still did that to me. I didn’t want to admit that I had committed to a relationship with someone like that before. I felt like an idiot for letting it happen.”
Leaning forward, Annie placed her hands on his knees and squeezed gently as she looked him directly in the eye. “Casey, you didn’t make her do that. You didn’t make her cheat on you and in your own place that you shared together, of all places.”
“I know, but I should’ve seen what kind of person she was and never asked her to move in with me. I should have never asked her to be my girlfriend.”
“That’s okay, babe. I should have never invited my ex-boyfriend to live with me rent-free all those years ago. We all make dumb mistakes. It’s just life. We meet someone, we get to know them, we learn to trust them, sometimes they disappoint us, and sometimes they don’t. It’s all part of the cycle of life. I don’t think her poor decisions are a reflection of your character.”
“I know… you’re right.” Casey smiled wryly and shook his head. “I guess this guy’s got baggage after all, huh? I never realized exactly how much this shit affected me until now. I’m sorry I’ve put you through so much.”
Annie smiled back and squeezed his knees again, then patted them a few times before withdrawing her hands and folding them in her lap again. “It’s okay, but like I said, this is too much for me to handle right now. You and I both have a dream to pursue, and I don’t think either of us wants to stand in each other’s way. You do what you’ve gotta do to win this thing, and I’ll do what I’ve gotta do. May the best man or woman win. We can figure our shit out later when this is over. Okay?”
There was a long moment before Casey answered, but finally he said, “Okay.” He stood up and smiled down at her, offering a hand to help her to her feet. As she stood, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close in a tight hug. Annie closed her eyes and enjoyed his warm embrace.
She did care about him, and she did wonder what a future with him could hold. But if they did decide to be together, there would be many obstacles for them to overcome. She still didn’t know what to do about Gabe, either. But he was on a plane back to L.A., and now that she had broken things off with Casey, she could focus on winning this competition… what she should have been doing all along.
This week’s results show was the most important to date. Tonight they would determine who had made it into the top ten. But when Kyle Atkinson called her name after calling Erin’s, Annie’s heart sank. The last thing she wanted to do was go head to head against the girl who had become her best friend in the short amount of time they’d known each other. As she approached center stage, she saw that Erin’s expression mirrored her own.
When Annie reached her mark, Erin immediately grabbed her hand. They stood there together facing the audience, grasping each other’s hand tightly as they waited for their verdict. Tears streamed down both of their faces as the show’s host fumbled with opening the envelope.
“And the contestant leaving us tonight is…”
Erin whispered to Annie, “I love you, girl. You deserve this.”
“Erin Tanaka! That means you are safe again this week, Annie Chang. Congratulations, you can exit the stage this way. Thank you. Okay, and Erin, thank you so much for being with us on the show and sharing your amazing talent with us. Let’s take a quick look at your journey here on The Next American Superstar.”
Annie was sobbing as she hugged Erin and left the stage. She knew how badly her friend had wanted to win. All Erin had ever wanted in life was to sing, and this had been her big chance. No matter how relieved Annie was that she was still in the competition, she couldn’t feel good about having to send someone else home in order for her to remain.
As Erin’s clip played, Annie watched from the side and continued to cry. She was featured in the clip along with Erin, unsurprising considering that the two of them had been attached at the hip since they’d started spending time together. It brought back all the memories they now shared, and even though she was devastated that Erin was going home, Annie knew that she had made a friend for life. Wiping away the tears, she applauded loudly with the rest of the audience, then raised her hands to her face and yelled as loudly as she could, “I love you, Erin! You fucking rock!” Erin turned to her and blew a kiss, waving to Annie before turning back to the audience. Then Erin took a bow, waved at everyone once again, and then turned to leave the stage. The applause continued for several more seconds after she left, then finally died down.
Pure Flow was up next, and they too were ushered into the top ten as they beat out a Russian ballroom dance team of a husband and wife who called themselves the Russian Royals. Annie smiled at Casey as he entered the green room, giving him a thumbs up as she mouthed, “Good job,” to him. He smiled and mouthed back, “You too,” then joined the rest of his crew as they moved to the other side of the room to await the rest of the results.
As the evening’s program continued, they were joined by a magician, a comedian, an opera singer, a troupe of cloggers, an acrobatic balancing act, a bluegrass band, a violinist who danced while she played, and a street dancer who specialized in animation, a style Casey’s crew often incorporated into their own routines. Annie found herself hoping that the street dancer would make it into the top four. She enjoyed watching him perform and wanted to see what else he could do. She had a strong feeling about his talent.
Gabe texted her and offered his congratulations. He didn’t mention anything about wanting her to make a decision to be with him. He just said that he had enjoyed seeing her in New York and would be watching every week, cheering her on. Annie appreciated the fact that he was just being friendly and supportive and not pressuring her into any decisions while she fought to remain in the competition.
Annie tried her best not to think too much on the fact that five acts would be eliminated the next week, leaving only five acts left to compete in the final round. Selecting her next song wasn’t difficult, because she had been waiting to perform it her entire life. As long as she could remember, she had loved singing Mariah Carey’s heartbreaking ballad, Without You, and now here she was, about to sing it in on national television.
Her first rehearsal was awful. She was way off-key and missed her cue for the second verse, then ran short of breath on a note that she was supposed to hold out. She was in tears within the first hour, and Jaime, her voice coach, called a time out and sat her down for a chat.
“Annie, it’s okay. You need to breathe and relax a little. Okay, relax a lot. I know everything is riding on this performance, but that’s really not any different than any of your previous performances. Every one of them counts or you could go home. But you are here in the top ten. Every performance you’ve given has knocked the audience dead. All you have to do is turn in another outstanding performance, and you are going to be fine. You are so close, and I believe in you. I believe you can do this. But you have to believe in you, too. You can’t pansy out on me now, you hear me? You’ve got this. Don’t get stuck inside your head now. Don’t start doubting yourself now or you are lost. Do not give up. That is an order. Do you understand me?”
Nodding emphatically that she understood, Annie took the Kleenex that Jaime offered her and wiped her eyes and then blew her nose.
“Okay, now drink some water and take a few minutes, and then let’s get back to work.”
“Yes, ma’am!” Annie exclaimed, reaching for her water bottle. She closed her eyes for a minute and made herself breathe and focus. In and out. In and out.
I can d
o this. I can do this. I can do this.
When she opened her eyes again, she was ready to kick some ass.
“Let’s start at the top,” Annie said.
Jaime smiled and turned back to the piano. As her coach played the accompanying music, Annie began to sing again, but this time she closed her eyes and imagined herself standing on the stage with the spotlight shining down on her. Jaime seemed to sense what she was trying to do and didn’t say anything about keeping her eyes open while she performed. There would be time for that later. Right now, she just needed to feel the music and envision herself on the stage, giving the performance of a lifetime.
She continued to sing without making a single mistake, and she poured all the emotions she’d been fighting over the past year into every note, into every word that passed her lips. A few tears escaped her eyes as she wailed through the chorus, her hand waving in the air to emphasize what she was feeling.
When she finished, Annie felt completely drained, but she also felt proud of herself. This was what she was capable of. This was how hard she had to push herself. These were the limits that she needed to overcome. If she sang the song on Tuesday night the way she had just sung it now, she knew she could very well be walking away with that five million dollar contract. She could very well achieve her ultimate dream. It was within her reach. It was within her power to take this all the way to the end. It was within her to win.
Jaime looked at her for a moment, and then slowly started clapping, shaking her head at the same time. “Honey, if you don’t win this thing, there’s something wrong with this world. That was amazeballs, and that is what you need to do to win.”
The days that followed passed by too quickly for Annie’s taste. She was dreading the next round as much as she was looking forward to it. Though she knew she was capable of giving a winning performance, that didn’t mean she wasn’t worried that she wouldn’t fuck it up somehow.
She soon discovered that a lot of attention came along with being in the top ten of a nationally televised talent show. Half the time when she left the hotel, paparazzi were waiting outside. She didn’t really mind, but made a mental note to never leave without wearing make-up. The top ten acts had been scheduled for three back-to-back interviews that week. The first was for a popular late night show, the second was for a local news piece, and the third was for a national morning talk show. The interviews turned out to be more fun than she expected, and Annie found herself at complete ease through all of the questions. She felt like the answers she gave were well-constructed and thoughtful and hoped everything translated well to camera.
Before she knew it, Tuesday had arrived and she was at her final fitting for the evening gown she’d chosen with the mistress of wardrobe. She had befriended Belkis during the first round when she had met the pretty whiz with a needle. Made of black satin, her gown was strapless in the mermaid style and perfectly accented all her curves. It was gorgeous, and she loved how beautiful she felt wearing it. It gave her confidence and made her feel powerful.
That night when Annie took the stage, she brought the house down. Everyone including the judges was on their feet as they cheered and whistled and applauded like crazy. As she stood there, basking in the adoration of the cheering crowd, her only negative thought was, “What the hell am I going to do to top that?”
Results night was a breeze. She and Carolyn Lee, the opera singer from Santa Clarita, went head to head with her coming out the winner. Pure Flow had beaten out Gaelic Pride, the cloggers from New England. The other three acts who made it through to the top five were Joey J, the street dancer who specialized in animation, Jim Huntley, a very funny comedian from L.A., and Lily Steele, a violinist who danced while she played. As she stood on the stage with the other four finalist acts, Annie sized up her competition. All of them would be tough to beat, but she believed in herself and in her talent. She believed she had what it took to win it all.
When she went to sleep that night and when she woke up the next morning, all she could think was, “What song will help me win?” She spent four hours on Google, researching the top ballads of all-time. She listened to different versions of songs and looked at lyrics to see what appealed to her. Finally she stumbled over a song by Christina Aguilera that spoke to her as soon as she read the title, The Voice Within. Annie listened to it five times before she decided it was definitely the right song for her. When she met with Jaime, she nervously handed her the sheet music and held her breath as she waited for her coach’s reaction. As soon as Jaime’s eyes landed on the title, her lips spread into a wide smile and she looked back up at Annie and nodded.
“This’ll do, kid. This’ll do.” Spreading the sheet music out, Jaime paused for a moment to crack her knuckles and then started to play. Annie stood beside her shoulder and counted the measures in her head before she began to sing along. Although she had heard the song many times, she had never memorized the words. And what powerful words they were. She couldn’t think of a better message to convey with her final performance on the show, and she just hoped she made Christina proud of her if the pop queen happened to ever see it.
When Jaime’s hands slowed to a stop on the piano keys, there was nothing but silence for several long seconds. Then her coach raised a hand to wipe away a tear and turned to smile at her.
“This was a great choice, Annie. I’m honored to say that I got to work with you, and I know you’re going to go places. You have a sweet innocence that is so special, even though I know you are tougher than nails. You sing with such passion and joy. Always remember why you struggled and fought so hard. Always remember your love for music. There will be times that life gets incredibly hard. This is not an easy business to be in—not by a long shot. But I believe in you. I believe you have the backbone and the determination and drive to see this thing through to the end. But you must be relentless in your pursuit. Never stop giving it a hundred and ten percent. Never take anything for granted.”
“Thank you, Jaime. I don’t even know what to say. You humble me, truly. Getting to work with you and having you mentor me has been one of the great privileges in my life, and I know I wouldn’t have gotten this far without your guidance. I hope that beyond this, we will remain friends, and I hope I will always be able to come to you for advice, whether it is specific to music or otherwise. You are a unique and beautiful soul, and I thank you for sharing your gift and for being patient and helping me get to this point.”
“Okay, enough of that, you already made me cry, dammit. Give me a hug,” Jaime demanded as she stood and embraced Annie in a warm hug. “You’re going to win this. I can feel it.”
“I can feel it, too. Let’s hope we’re both geniuses and not just delusional.”
The final show was spectacular. Not only did the top five acts perform individually, but they each performed with an established celebrity in their genre as well as altogether in a grand finale. Everyone was at the top of their game that night, doing better than they ever had before. Pure Flow brought down the house with a creative routine choreographed to a medley of N Sync songs, and Annie received yet another standing ovation for her stunning rendition of The Voice Within. The other acts that followed seemed to have done just as well, so Annie really had no idea what the outcome might be. She’d given it her everything. All she could do now was sit and wait for the results the next night.
Annie knew she would drive herself insane if she didn’t keep herself busy the next day. Luckily she was booked all day for more interviews, so it was doubtful that she’d have a free moment to think about anything other than enunciating her words, standing up straight and remembering to smile. This was it. Tonight, they would announce the winner live on national television, and finally, she would know if she had done enough to guarantee her that title.
Her finale wardrobe was a Grecian-style dress made with a gauzy white material that had artistic splashes of green and teal swirling along the hem and teal sandals. Belkis had brought the dress to her and said it was d
esigned by a close friend of hers, and that she’d be honored of Annie wore it for the finale. As soon as she saw it, Annie fell in love with the dress and thanked Belkis over and over again for thinking of her.
She felt beautiful yet comfortable at the same time in her new dress as she stood on stage with Casey and the rest of Pure Flow, Jim Huntley the comedian, Afterglow the Animator, and Lily Steele, the dancing violinist. As Kyle read the results, he eliminated each act one by one until he was left with only two. The first to go was Lily Steele, followed by Jim Huntley and then Afterflow. Stunned, Annie stared across the stage at Casey and the other guys who avoided looking at her and stared at the ground, shifting their weight from foot to foot as they waited for the host to put them all out of their misery and announce the winner. Although she had joked about it before, she had never really thought that it would end up being their two acts going head to head against each other.
Sweat beaded on Annie’s forehead as she stood there, staring out at the audience, waiting for the next words that would decide the course her life would take next. Would she be moving to Las Vegas, or would she be going back home to L.A. to find a new job and move in with her parents? As was usual for TV show hosts, Kyle was dragging out the final result as long as possible. She was afraid he was about to announce a commercial break when he finally said the magic words she’d been waiting for.
“And the winner of The Next American Superstar and a five million dollar contract for their own headlining show in Las Vegas, Nevada is…” Kyle paused dramatically as a drum roll was played. A beautiful young lady in a floor-length gown of red silk who had been standing just behind the host reached forward to hand him an envelope. Ripping it open, he glanced down at the highly anticipated result before looking up again and smiling widely at everyone.
