by Audrey Harte
As she ended the first chorus, Annie grabbed the mic from its stand and started walking slowly downstage, reaching out to touch the hands of the screaming audience members who went crazy when she came near them. Looking down into the faces of the adoring fans, she was struck with how surreal the moment felt. She was living a dream that she had never imagined would become reality.
Turning to make her way back upstage, Annie almost faltered when she recognized a familiar face in the audience. Proud of herself for not missing a beat, she continued back and returned her mic to its stand and finished the song where she’d started. Thunderous applause erupted when she finished, making her heart swell until she felt like it might burst. As she basked in the audience’s appreciation of her performance, she thanked her lucky stars that she’d been able to pull it off with Gabe in the audience.
After the show, she was talking to one of the other contestants in the green room when one of the assistant stage managers pulled her aside and said she had a visitor waiting for her outside. She thanked him and pulled out a silver compact from the pocket of her leather pants to check her reflection. After fixing her lip gloss, Annie took a deep breath and tried to calm her nerves.
Here I go.
Gabe looked even better than she remembered, and her stomach did a little flip when she saw him. He was smiling warmly at her, his brown eyes twinkling as he gazed down at her.
“You were amazing,” he said quietly when she just stood there staring at him for a moment, her eyes eagerly drinking him in as if she was parched with thirst for the sight of him.
“Thank you,” she said, blushing. “I can’t believe you came.”
“I can’t believe you think I wouldn’t. You’re doing it, Annie. You’re making your dreams come true. I couldn’t be prouder.”
“Thank you,” she said again. “That means a lot to me.”
“How come you never sang for me?”
“You never asked.”
“I want you to sing for me.”
Annie laughed. “I just did.”
“No, I mean just for me.”
Nodding, Annie smiled shyly. “It was just for you. I picked the song when I heard you might be coming.”
Gabe’s eyes lit up as he smiled back. “Really? Nah, you’re just saying that.”
“No, really. I mean it.”
“That’s awesome. Thank you… I was just blown away. I mean, I’d heard you sing a little here and there, so I knew you had a good voice, but wow. Like I had no idea. You sing like that was what you were born to do.”
“It’s definitely what makes me happiest,” Annie said.
“It shows, for real,” Gabe assured her.
“Thank you.”
“Have you eaten, yet?”
“No, not yet. I can’t usually before a performance. Stomach gets too queasy.”
“Ah, yeah, I don’t think I could eat anything right before going on TV in front of millions of people, either,” he said, shaking his head and laughing. “So, can I take you to dinner? I’d love some time to catch up with you.”
“Sure, that sounds nice,” Annie agreed, smiling shyly.
It turned out that Gabe had reserved a private dining room for them at a nearby restaurant. Annie was suitably impressed when she walked into the lavishly decorated dining room. There was a gorgeous arrangement of roses and lilies sitting on a side table, giving off a fragrant floral scent. She moved first to sniff at the flowers, commenting on how lovely they were. Gabe pulled out her chair and motioned for her to have a seat, so she complied, thanking him softly.
“You went to a lot of trouble,” she said as he sat down across the table from her. “It wasn’t necessary, you know.”
“Well, I have to confess that I wanted you completely to myself tonight. I took the liberty of ordering for both of us ahead of time as I wanted as little interruption as possible. I hope that’s okay with you.”
“As long as it’s not liver and onions or cow tongue, we should be fine,” Annie said as she grinned at him, making him laugh.
“Nope, just a garden salad and then a steak with potatoes and spinach.”
“Sounds divine.”
Just then, a door opened and a waiter appeared with their dinner and a bottle of red wine. After serving them both, he disappeared again, leaving them alone. They ate their dinner slowly as they drank the wine and chatted, catching up on everything that had happened in the past several months since they had stopped seeing each other. Annie enjoyed every minute of her time with Gabe. It was easy being with him, and she was reminded of how good she felt whenever they were together.
Upon leaving the restaurant, Annie checked her phone and saw that she had several missed calls and text messages from Casey. She swallowed hard as she shoved the phone back into her purse. She didn’t bother reading them right then as she was sure he was freaking out, trying to figure out where she was and why she wasn’t answering her phone. Gabe insisted on walking her back to the hotel and escorting her to her room, thanked her for having dinner with him, and gave her a tight hug and a quick cheek kiss before bidding her a good night.
Annie felt a slight pang of disappointment that he hadn’t tried to kiss her on the lips, but then she mentally shook herself. What was she thinking? Technically, she was still dating Casey. They weren’t on a break. They had just decided not to sleep together for the duration of the competition. She had no business kissing other men right now until she figured out what the hell was going on with her boyfriend… if she could even call him that anymore.
As she was getting ready for bed, Annie finally checked her phone again. She had even more text messages and a voicemail waiting for her from Casey, but now she also had some texts from Alex, Katie and Erin as well.
Casey: Hey babe. Where’d you go? We’re all going to dinner in Times Square. Are you coming?
Casey: Hello?
Casey: Um, could you maybe text me back so I know you’re okay?
Casey: Okay, you’re starting to worry me. I don’t know where you are, and nobody else seems to know. I texted Alex and Katie, and they said they hadn’t seen you since you were on stage tonight. Erin’s here with us and says she hasn’t seen you since then, either. Where the hell are you?
Alex: Um, I’m assuming you’re with Gabe right now, but Casey is blowing up my phone, trying to figure out where the hell you are. Just warning you! But since this is big, scary NYC and he’s got me all paranoid now, can you please just text back and let me know you’re okay?
Katie: Dude, Casey is going ballistic right now. Alex and I are playing dumb, but I think he knows something is up.
Erin: Uh, care to fill me in on what’s going on? Who’s Gabe?
Casey: I don’t know if I should call the cops or what. Please just text someone back and let us know you’re okay?
Annie groaned as she finished reading the texts. Then she pressed play to listen to the voicemail Casey had left her.
“Princess, look, I know I’ve been kind of distant lately, and if you’re trying to teach me a lesson, fine. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry I haven’t been myself. This competition is crazy stressful, and I don’t have money coming in when I’m not working, and I’ve still got rent and utilities and other bills to pay. I’m going through my savings like crazy, and I’m just worried. I know this competition means everything to you, but I’ve put everything on the line for this as well. I need this just as much as you do if not more, but more than that, I just need you to be okay. Please talk to me. Call me back as soon as you get this, okay? Please.”
Suddenly it all made sense—why Casey had been so different. She’d never been around him when money had been an issue, and it surprised her to learn that he became different when it was. Sure, it was completely understandable, but now she wasn’t sure what to think. Did he want her to lose? Was he somehow asking her to forfeit the competition so Pure Flow could win?
All of this was becoming too much drama for her to deal with while she was k
nee-deep in the middle of the most important opportunity of her life. Annie texted Casey back first.
Annie: Sorry, didn’t mean to make you worry. Had my phone off during dinner and just saw your missed calls and texts. I’m back at the hotel and am fine.
Immediately, Casey texted her back.
Casey: Okay. Thank you for letting me know. Are you okay? Can I come to your room and talk?
Annie: I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. It’s too late in the evening to be having this discussion. Can we talk tomorrow?
Casey: Sure. Get some rest. I’ll call you in the morning.
Annie: Okay, thank you.
Groaning, Annie fell backwards onto her bed and started sending a group text to Alex, Katie and Erin.
Annie: Hey guys, I’m okay. No need to call the police. Yes, I was with Gabe. Erin—Gabe is my ex who broke my heart when his ex-gf got preggers and he left me to be with her for the kid’s sake. Then turned out it wasn’t really his kid, so he was off the hook, but I’d met Casey and moved on. Now he’s trying to get me back again. We had dinner tonight, but nothing else happened. I didn’t even kiss him.
Alex: I figured that’s where you were, so I wasn’t really trippin’, but Casey sure was.
Annie: I know, I texted him back, too. He wanted to come to my room now and talk, but I told him it was too late for that conversation.
Katie: I’m glad you’re okay.
Erin: So am I, but I want more details on this Gabe guy.
Katie: Are we doing breakfast tomorrow?
Annie: Totally. I’ll meet you guys downstairs at ten.
Erin: Can I come, too?
Annie: Of course!
Alex: Duh.
Katie: Um, hello! You’re one of us now, bitch! Of course you’re coming!
Annie: Don’t you love my friends?
Erin: Yes! You guys are my kind of people. I can’t wait for us to all hang out when we’re back in L.A.
Alex: Ditto!
Surprisingly enough, Annie had a great night’s sleep, even with the impending “talk” with Casey that she was dreading. Her friends just had that kind of effect on her. When she was down, they always knew how to bring her back up again. She knew she was lucky to have them in her life and that she would never have to face anything alone unless she wanted to.
Just as she was finishing up breakfast with her friends, Annie got another text from Casey, asking if she was free to talk. She texted him back and said they would be at the hotel within the next half hour, if he could wait until she returned. He told her to call him when she was back, and he would head over to her room.
When they returned, Alex, Katie and Erin smiled at Annie sympathetically and wished her luck as they parted ways in the hotel lobby.
“We’ll see you after the results show tonight.”
“Okay, thanks for treating us to breakfast,” Annie said as she hugged Katie.
“You’re welcome. Love ya, girl. See you later tonight.” Katie smooched her on the cheek before letting her go again. “And be strong. Don’t take any crap from him.”
Annie laughed. “Thanks, and I won’t. See you guys later.”
After they left, she called Casey and told him she was on her way up to her room. He said he would meet her there in a few minutes.
The loud knock on the door still made her jump, even though she was expecting him. She was nervous and didn’t know what was going to happen. After she let him in, he hugged and kissed her, and out of habit, she returned the actions.
“So I know I’ve been weird lately,” he started as he sat down on the bed. “I didn’t realize how stressful this was all going to be when I agreed to enter this competition.”
Annie dragged a chair next to the bed and angled it to face Casey before sitting down. “Neither did I. I know we’ve both been under a lot of pressure, but I feel like I saw a side of you I didn’t even know existed, and it concerns me.”
“I get that, but that’s not the normal me. You’ve seen the normal me.”
“Have I? How can we know what ‘normal’ will mean to us next year or five years from now? How can I trust what you will be like if we ever have financial troubles in the future?”
“Look, I just let the stress get the better of me this time, but I swear it won’t happen again. I’ll make sure of it. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Annie, and I don’t want to lose what we have together.”
Annie sighed. “I don’t want to lose that, either, but I don’t know that we have a choice in the matter. If I’m being completely honest, I kind of feel like we’ve already lost it.”
Frowning, Casey shook his head and reached for her hands. “Don’t say that, baby. I love you. We can fix this—we can make it work. I know that we can,” he said almost desperately as he squeezed her hands.
“I dunno… maybe we can… I’m just not sure if I want to anymore.”
Casey’s eyes narrowed as he dropped her hands. “Really?” He leaned back and considered her thoughtfully. “What’s changed? I thought that you loved me.”
Annie avoided his gaze, looking away for a moment as she carefully considered her next words. Finally, she looked up at him again. “Casey, I care about you… a lot. And I do love you, but with everything that’s happened, and with all this crazy stress we’re under, I just don’t really trust my feelings one hundred percent right now. I think maybe it’s a good idea if we take a break from each other for now. We can talk again after this thing is over, when both of us can think straight again.”
For several long moments, there was nothing but silence as Casey sat there staring back at her. His expression was unreadable. Annie returned his gaze for several seconds, but finally it became too uncomfortable and she averted her eyes again, unsure of what to do or say next.
“Is it someone else?” he finally asked.
“No!” she answered a little too quickly.
“Uh huh.” Casey scratched his cheek thoughtfully as he looked her in the eyes. “It’s that guy we ran into at The Grove when we were having lunch at the Farmers Market that one time, isn’t it? You said he was just a friend, but he used to be more than that to you, didn’t he?”
Annie bit her lip before nodding slowly. “His name is Gabe, and yeah, we used to date, but now we’re just friends.”
“Aha. Gabe. Isn’t that the asshole who got his ex-girlfriend pregnant and left you for her?”
Cursing his good memory, Annie nodded again. “Yep, that’s him. But it turned out that the baby wasn’t his after all. He had just told me that day when you got back from the restroom and saw him talking to me.”
“I see. And now that he’s available again, you want to leave me so you can go be with him.”
“No… I mean, I don’t know. I’m not sure what I want anymore. He already asked me for another chance after I saw him that day, but I turned him down. I didn’t tell him I wanted to try again. I told him I wanted to be with you.”
“Okay, so if that’s the case, what’s changed your mind since then?”
Annie shrugged. “I don’t know. You’ve just been different since we’ve been here in New York, and I know you say it’s just because you’re stressed, but you lied to me about not having a serious girlfriend before, and then you overreacted when you saw me with Trey—”
“That motherfucker was trying to kiss you. How is that overreacting?”
“Okay, you didn’t overreact about him trying to kiss me, but then you treated me like I’m the one who tried to kiss him! You acted like I had wronged you, and all I’d done was accept an invitation from a friend to hang out and have dinner. How the hell was I supposed to know that he was going to try to make a move on me, regardless of whether I realized he was attracted to me? Of course I knew he was attracted to me. It felt good! You’d just ditched me to have dinner with Trisha and your crew again.”
“I didn’t ditch you. You didn’t answer your phone,” Casey argued.
“My phone was dead. I c
ouldn’t answer it.”
“That’s not my fault.”
“Well, neither is it my fault that I couldn’t answer your call and missed your invitation to dinner and was left with the option of eating by myself or sharing a meal with a friendly face when I’m stuck here in the middle of a big city I’ve never been to before with no friends here except for you and the other guys.”
“What about Erin?”
“Erin was preoccupied with boy problems. She wasn’t available for dinner that night.”
“So it would’ve killed you to eat alone?”
“Oh my God, I cannot even believe we are fighting about this! Why can’t you just let it go? I didn’t do anything to you on purpose.”
Casey shook his head and rubbed his face with his hands. “I’m sorry, I just can’t stand to think of you with that guy. It makes me fucking crazy. When I saw him trying to kiss you, it took me straight back to that night when I walked into my own apartment and saw Laura kissing him.”
Shaking her head, Annie sighed. “I get it. I totally do. But I’m not her, and you can’t treat me like I am. I did not invite the kiss, nor did I have a clue that he would try something like that. Maybe I should have, but I honestly thought he understood that we were only friends—nothing more. He knew I was with you, and I never gave him any indication that I was interested in straying from my relationship. I told you before that I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, so in my eyes, at that point he had done nothing to me personally to make me think that he wouldn’t respect any boundaries I had set.
“Now that I know that he doesn’t respect those boundaries, I want nothing to do with him. I gave him the chance to be friends with me, and he broke my trust.” Annie took a deep breath before continuing. “Now going back to us, I thought that what you and I shared was deep enough that you could trust that I am not the type of person to do something like that. I mean, I kinda thought that’s what you liked about me—that I’m a genuinely good person who you can trust, not only as a girlfriend, but as a friend.”
