The Ties That Bind r5-4

by Cliff Ryder

  Using the laser, it tracked a path through the night and slammed into the Asp's cockpit, exploding on impact. The glare was blinding at this range and in the dark, and everyone's eyes began to water as the helicopter crashed to the ground in a burning, ruined heap.

  Jason dropped the Kornet, groaning in pain. "Help me up," he ordered Tanuk. "I have to make sure it's finished."

  "No one could survive that," the old man said. "No one."

  "I have to be sure," Jason said. "Get me there."

  Tanuk helped Jason up and the two of them slowly crossed the snowy field to where the Asp was burning on the ground. Even as they got closer, Jason saw movement near the wreckage and he used his left hand to awkwardly take the Glock out of its holster. Personal my ass, he thought, holding the weapon. I should have just shot him and been done with it.

  "There!" Tanuk said, pointing.

  Sure enough, burned and horribly injured, Feng was trying to crawl away, using the wreckage as cover. He must have jumped from the Asp milliseconds before the warhead impact. Both of his legs were broken and he was dragging them behind him like broken sticks of wood.

  "Feng!" Jason shouted.

  The Chinese man rolled onto his back, slowly raising his hands. "You…win, Mr. Siku," he said. "I surrender."

  "You don't understand," Jason said. "There are no winners, no losers. Surrender is not an option. You've forgotten what Room 59 was created to do. We keep the world safe from people like you, no matter what the cost."

  "What…will you do, then, Mr. Siku?" he asked, panting for breath. "Will you become what they made me? A cold-blooded killer of men?"

  Jason shook his head and raised the Glock. "No," he said quietly. "I will be more. I will finish the mission you forgot. The mission you walked away from." He squeezed the trigger three quick times, using the time-honored pattern of two to the chest, one to the head. At this range, even left-handed, he didn't miss.

  "And I will help keep this world safe."

  Slowly, he slumped to the ground. The warmth from the burning helicopter wreckage felt nice, and he knew he was drifting away. The last thing he saw before the darkness took him was Tanuk's face, the last words he heard were, "You can rest now, son."

  * * *

  Jason woke to the smell of woodsmoke and a scent that reminded him vaguely of cinnamon. He could hear hushed voices nearby, and he slowly opened his eyes. Above him, he saw a wooden roof with all kinds of symbols and signs hung from the rafters.

  "He's awake," a cracked voice said.

  Jason turned to see Tanuk and an old woman, her face wrinkled with time and years, move toward him. She was ancient, but her voice was strong and sure. "You're going to live," she said. "Though I wondered for a time if you still had the will to fight."

  Remembering, Jason looked at Tanuk. He was confused and still a bit groggy. "Tina?" he asked.

  A broad grin split the old man's face. "She, too, will live. The cold actually helped her survive," he said.

  "Where is she?" Jason asked.

  "A small hospital in Nome," Tanuk said. "It was decided to keep you here might be the safest course of action. You have many enemies."

  "Jesse?" he asked.

  "I'm sorry," Tanuk said. "There was nothing we could do for Jesse but release his spirit to the next world. Tina is waiting for you to come to her in Nome. There is much you need to discuss."

  He had no sense of time. "How long have I been out?" he asked.

  "This is the third day since they brought you here," the old woman said.

  "Damn," Jason said. "I need my things, I have to…let people know what's happened here."

  "I think they know," Tanuk said. "Your people arrived yesterday."

  "My people?" he asked.

  "Yes," he said. "The ones with the hard eyes and winter stares. One waits for you outside."

  Pushing himself upright, Jason took a better look at his surroundings. He was in some kind of medicine hut, by all appearances. He felt better than he had any right to, though he was still sore. His right arm was in a sling. He looked at the old woman. "You took care of me?"

  "Yes," she said. "I am a healer, though few come to me anymore. My art will soon be lost."

  "That is sad," Jason said. "I feel much better."

  "Good," said a voice from the doorway. "Denny is expecting a full report from you within two days, but I'd like a summary now if you're up to it."

  A broad-shouldered man with long dark hair was standing in the doorway, looking a little out of place in a heavy parka. "You can call me Adrostos," the man said. He had a slight Greek accent. "When you didn't report in, Denny assumed the worst and sent me with a team in case things had gone to hell. Feng Li is — was, rather — a very dangerous man."

  Jason laughed. "That's an understatement if I ever heard one."

  "They tell me you killed him," Adrostos said.

  "I had help," he replied, using his left hand to gesture toward Tanuk. "Really, everyone up here helped."

  "And the submarine?"

  "Bottom of the ocean," Jason said. "I'll send the coordinates to the offshore team today, so they can get it marked and start recovery, if they want to."

  "Did you get the plans for it?" Adrostos asked.

  The old woman made an eerie sound that flittered somewhere between a crow and a bear. "Enough!" she said. "You can talk more later. Now, he needs to rest and get his strength back. He still has a long journey ahead of him."

  "I do?" Jason asked.

  "He does?" the man echoed.

  "Yes," she said, making a shooing gesture with her hands. "It should be enough for you to know that this bad man is gone and his evil weapons with him. You'll know more — in two days. Now go!"

  Adrostos smiled ruefully and nodded. "Two days, Jason," he said. "In Denny's office. And check your system messages. Full debrief on any witnesses, cleanup if needed." He paused, then added, "Understand?"

  "I got it," Jason said, watching as the man stepped back out the door. Even from inside, he could hear him telling the rest of the team to pull out. What Adrostos had meant was that if he had to, he was to eliminate anyone who knew too much. One thing he knew for certain — Adrostos was every bit as dangerous as Feng Li. He carried himself with the steady assurance of a man who had killed many others and slept well at night. Briefly, he wondered if Adrostos was part of the midnight teams, then dismissed it. There was no point in speculating about ghosts.

  The old woman brought him a bowl of soup and placed it with a wooden spoon on a tray next to his bed. "You must eat all of that, if you are to get your strength back quickly. You have far to go."

  "Where am I going?" he asked. "I did what I came up here to do. Now I go home."

  "And where is home now?" Tanuk asked quietly.

  Jason stared into the bowl of soup, his mind working on the problem. "I don't know," he finally admitted. "I just don't know."

  "Eat your soup," the medicine woman said. "Not every answer is in your head or your heart. Some are elsewhere."

  "Where am I going?" he asked her.

  "In the long run," she said, "that is up to you. But first, you must go to Nome and visit Tina. When you see her, you may have more answers than you do right now."

  "I hope so," Jason said. "Right now, I'm just confused."

  "You're doing fine so far," Tanuk said. "It's not complicated really. It's just love."

  The old woman laughed softly. "You should've been a storyteller," she scolded him. "You open your mouth and all kinds of bullshit comes out."

  They both laughed again and Jason ate his soup, thinking of Jesse — a brother found and lost — and of Tina. What did she think of him now, knowing the cost of all this? What did he really feel for her?

  What kind of life could he offer her?

  A dangerous one, his mind answered. At the best of times.

  And that, he knew, was precisely the problem. He couldn't offer her anything that she hadn't already walked away from.

  This mi
ssion had been one of too many complications and too many questions already.

  He finished his soup and allowed himself the luxury of falling into sleep again.

  Sometimes, it was better to dream of a world he could never have, rather than try to live in the one that he couldn't change.

  23

  To call the facility in Nome a hospital was a bit like calling a goldfish a shark, Jason thought. With less than twenty-five beds, it served the Inuit and other native populations in a huge area — mostly with local clinics. Still, the facility itself appeared decent enough and the staff was professional.

  After waking from his nap, Jason had decided to leave right away, rather than stay any longer. There was little point in putting off what he needed to do. He thanked the old medicine woman and shook hands with Tanuk, who offered him some words of advice before he left.

  "Do you know, son, what the difference is between a man alone and a man with a family?"

  Jason had shaken his head. "Not really," he answered.

  "Wisdom, maybe," Tanuk replied, then turned and went back into his small home.

  Adrostos had done him a kindness, leaving him a floatplane that he could fly down to Nome, rather than use an ATV over the rough countryside. The flight itself had been fairly short and by early morning, he was in Nome, wandering the streets and waiting for a diner to open so he could get some breakfast and a cup of coffee.

  What he was really doing, he knew, was putting off seeing Tina.

  She'd put her trust in him, done everything he'd asked, and nearly lost her life in doing so. People in her village, people she knew, had died. Sitting in the dingy little diner, he finished off the last of his coffee and paid his bill. He couldn't wait any longer, and headed for the hospital.

  He stopped at the main desk and asked the young lady there what room she was in. "Just down the hall and then to your left," the woman told him.

  "Thank you," he replied, then turned away and headed in that direction. He felt funny inside, almost wooden or as if nothing was real. He thought he had a handle on how he felt about Tina, but he didn't know what to do about it. If, that was, there was anything to be done.

  He reached her room and stopped at the threshold. The door was open and he peered inside. Tina was propped up on a handful of pillows, her head turned away from the door as she stared out the window. He wondered what was going through her mind, what thoughts she was thinking.

  Jason tapped lightly on the door frame and she turned to look at him.

  "I guessed it would be you," she said quietly. "My grandfather called and told me you were alive."

  He didn't speak, just nodded his head. It was as if seeing her had robbed him of his voice.

  "Come in," she said. "I figure we have some things to talk about."

  He stepped into the room and held out the small bouquet of flowers he'd picked up on the way in. "I…I thought you might like these," he said.

  She smiled and he was struck once more by her beauty. "They're beautiful," she said. "Thank you."

  He set them on the bedside table, then moved to stand near her bed. The silence between them felt like a chasm he'd once seen in the mountains in South America. There was no possible way across, no way to bridge the gap. Still, he had to say something. "I wanted to apologize," he blurted.

  Tina's eyes widened slightly. "Apologize?" she asked. "I don't understand."

  "I should have protected you better," he said, the words coming out in a sudden rush. "I shouldn't have let you get hurt."

  She smiled once again and took his hand. "That was my choice, remember?" she asked. "I'm not very good at taking orders, so even if you'd told me to take off, I would have stayed."

  He shook his head. "Still, I should have expected…" He sighed, letting his words frail off. "I should have expected something like that."

  "Really?" she said. "Do you think that somehow you should know how every battle will be fought? Is that how you usually operate?"

  "Not exactly," he admitted. "Usually, I plan everything down to the last detail. I'm not big on the battles. I'm more of a 'one shot, one kill, move on' kind of guy. They sent me on this mission because they thought I'd have a better chance of fitting in with the locals."

  Tina burst out laughing, then grabbed at her chest. "Ouch," she said when the pain subsided. "Don't make me laugh. It hurts."

  "You don't think I fit in?" he asked.

  "Not even remotely," she said, shaking her head. Her hair was beautiful.

  He chuckled. "Not everything went according to plan," he said. "But the mission got done, so that's something."

  "So I heard," she said. "Someone named Adrostos — a very scary man, by the way — came by and debriefed me late yesterday. He told me you killed Feng."

  "I did," he said. "With some help from your grandfather."

  Her thoughts turned inward, and her face went still. "Jesse didn't make it," she said.

  "No," Jason said. "He didn't."

  Images of the fight flashed through his mind. Maybe if he'd taken on Feng to begin with Jesse would still be alive. But when it came right down to it, Jason knew that Feng was the kind of tiger who liked to play with his food. He'd bought the time he needed with Jesse's life. "He fought well," he finally said.

  "I imagine that he did," she said. "There's something else that didn't go according to plan. Something…I'm not sure how to tell you this."

  Concern filled him. "What is it?" he asked. "You're okay, aren't you?"

  She nodded. "Yes, I'm okay, but…there's something you need to know."

  "All right," he said. "You can tell me anything."

  "I guess we'll see about that," she said. She pointed at her belly. "I'm pregnant, Jason. I'm going to have a baby."

  A strange ringing sound echoed in his ears. "Baby?" he repeated. "What baby?"

  "Our baby, Jason," she said. "Yours and mine."

  "But…well…how did that happen?"

  She allowed herself a small smile. "How soon they forget," she said.

  "No," he said. "I mean, yes, I remember. I know how it happened, it's just…"

  They were both quiet for a moment, then she said, "Just?"

  "I…" Words failed him for a moment, and he tried again. "I don't know what to say, Tina. What to feel. What you feel."

  She started to speak and he held up a hand to stop her. "You have every reason to hate me," he said. "With everything that's happened, a lot of people killed. Jesse dead. And you certainly didn't expect to get pregnant."

  "No," she said. "I didn't. But that's how life works, really. You want everything in your world, every mission, to go according to some plan, but it doesn't. Life happens and things change and get in the way of your plan and you adjust. I will have to adjust."

  He nodded in understanding. "What do you want me to say, Tina? I nearly got you…and…and our baby killed. What can I offer you?"

  "Tell me how you feel about me," she said. "What's in your heart?"

  Jason stood up and started pacing the room. "I care about you, Tina," he said. "I really do. I don't know if what I feel for you is love, because I haven't ever allowed love to be a part of my life. It's all too fast, what we've had, and I'm not a good candidate for being a family man."

  "No," she admitted. "You haven't had much experience with that anyway."

  "To be honest," he said, "I'm afraid to love you. It wouldn't be fair. We need…I need time to think. To figure out what I'm feeling, what I should do."

  "I appreciate your honesty, Jason," she said. "Really I do. And I understand. We practically just met and now I've sprung this on you."

  "No, it's not that," he said, then chuckled. "Well, it's that a little. But I'm not the kind of man to walk out on you," he said. "If you never want to see me again, I'll…I mean we can work out some kind of support. I would understand. But then…" Once more, he ran out of words.

  "But?" she pressed.

  "I'd like to know the child," he said. "The baby. I don't…I mea
n I didn't have a father or a mother. I didn't have a family. I think it's better for kids to have that. I don't know what it means to be a father, but I'm willing to learn."

  He stopped pacing and faced her. "What do you feel about me?" he asked quietly. "Do you love me, Tina? Have you fallen in love with me?"

  The silence grew between them again for several minutes, then she said, "I think you're right, Jason. It's been too fast. I don't really know what I feel. I care about you, and I won't cut you out of the baby's life. I think we both need time."

  He didn't reply right away. At least they were both being honest with each other. There'd been more than enough lies between them.

  She looked at him thoughtfully for a minute, then said, "What do you fear?"

  Startled, Jason said, "I'm not afraid of anything."

  "Yes, you are," she said. "I'll ask you again, what do you fear? Think about it."

  He did as she asked, and after a moment, he said, "Failure. Love. Family. All of it, I guess."

  "Go on," she said.

  "I don't know how to be good at what I do for a living, yet be the kind of man you deserve as a husband, if that's something you even want. If it's something I want. I don't know how to be a father — I never had one of my own."

  She laughed lightly. "Do you think there's a manual or a book you can buy that will really teach you how to be a good husband or a good father?"

  "If there was," he said, "I'd sure buy it. But the fact is that I'm…what I do for a living…it's not very good for a family."

  "No," she admitted. "It isn't. That's why most of the Room 59 agents that are hired don't have one. The missions, if you will, don't mix. And families can become liabilities if your true identity is known."

  He nodded. "And maybe that's why it would be better if I just…went away. If I never came back and the only thing you ever saw from me again was a check once a month."

  "Is that what you want to do?"

  "No," he said. "But I don't see a lot of other choices."

  "As my grandfather says, there are always other choices."

  "He's a good man," Jason said. "But I don't think he really understands what my work is." He looked at her, his gaze catching hers. "I don't think you really understood until you saw it up close."