The Tainted Love of a Captain

by Jane Lark

  A bitter taste flooded Charlie’s mouth as a sour, sickening memory filled her mind. Harry was right, he had unlocked her mind last night. The vicar in the church in the village had accepted money from Mark. The church and God had not turned their backs on Mark.

  There were no morals in this world. People said one thing before others, but did not abide by their words in private. Liars. Priests and officials and do-gooders. They all lied.

  ‘Come along, newly weds. John will have a good bottle of champagne in his cellar that we can break open for you.’

  Harry held her arm as they walked back down the aisle, with Drew walking on Harry’s other side and the others ahead of them. Harry picked up his hat which contained her gloves before they walked out of the church.

  They said goodbye to the others in front of the carriage. Meredith leant and kissed her cheek. Phillip gave her a shallow bow and Rupert a very stiff bow. Then the men shook Harry’s hand.

  Drew touched her arm. ‘Do not mind them. Harry has a very generous, wonderful family, his parents behave as though they are mine. You must not measure them by these stiffer members of Harry’s relations and do not be nervous about meeting the rest of them. What I have learned is to be honest with them and then they are both honest and good to you.’

  He had seen and understood her expression and divined her concerns. She had thought herself good at hiding her thoughts. Perhaps she would need to get better if she was to spend the next weeks with Harry’s family. She had no desire to let them know if they upset her, nor to be honest with them, because if they decided to be honest with her in return she knew what his father thought and she did not wish to hear it said to her face. She had lived with that and she’d run away from it.

  Harry turned and took her hand again. ‘Up you get.’ He handed her up into the carriage first, then climbed in and sat beside her. Drew sat opposite them, as he’d done on the way there.

  ‘I have never had any patience for Rupert. The man is too starched,’ Drew stated.

  Charlie looked at Harry. He smiled broadly, not at all angered by his brother-in-law’s bluntness. ‘He is Rupert. He is not raucous like us, that is all.’

  ‘I am not raucous any more. I am still not like him.’

  ‘But you once were raucous. It is in your nature. Papa said many years ago he was closest to Rupert. They used to go about town together—’

  ‘Your father has never been raucous either,’ Drew scoffed.

  Harry made a dismissing sound. ‘Precisely. But Uncle Robert was. Papa always says he was forced to be sensible because Uncle Robert was so irresponsible.’

  Drew laughed. ‘That is his excuse. But I like your Papa staid, it suits him. It makes him a solid pillar to lean on when I have need of his support.’

  Staid. She pictured a man similar to Rupert. Sober. Grave. As she saw the accusing words he had written. She did not want to meet Harry’s father.

  Harry smiled. ‘Something happened to stop Rupert being close to either of them, though. He’s never visited even when Papa and Mama are in town. He speaks to them at balls and he talks to John because of course they see each other in the House of Lords, but he is always colder towards Mama and Papa.’

  ‘Yet he came today…’

  Harry shrugged. ‘He would probably have been too embarrassed to refuse when Phillip asked him directly.’

  ‘I suppose.’

  ‘I liked his wife,’ Charlie said. ‘She said some kind things.’ She wanted to take part in their conversation, she hated to feel shut out.

  Harry looked at her. ‘I think Meredith is more relaxed. I think her nice too, although I have rarely spoken to her. As children we never mixed much with that side of the family because of whatever occurred which made Rupert cold towards Papa.’

  The carriage took them back to the house, where they ate luncheon as Harry had planned, only now his brother-in-law had joined them he and Harry talked as Charlie looked from one to the other.

  It did not feel as though she had just married Harry. It felt as though she was in a pantomime. She had met an earl and now she was sitting in a huge duke’s townhouse, with ornamentation everywhere, eating the food from a duke’s kitchen and drinking his champagne, and her bridegroom was his brother. She could still not picture her Harry from the seashore as a noble man—an earl’s grandson on his father’s side and on his mother’s side a duke’s grandson and brother.

  They climbed back into the carriage at about two. It carried the trunk of clothes Harry had bought for her on its top and it held Harry’s things in its boot, which Obsidian was tethered to, and Ash awaited them inside. She appeared at the door, her tail wagging.

  ‘Hello, girl. The children are going to love seeing you again.’ Drew patted the seat to encourage the dog to jump up next to him.

  When their journey began Charlie looked out of the window as the men talked; as they had throughout luncheon.

  Though, Harry’s fingers weaved through hers and held on to her as he spoke.

  Did he realise that she already felt left behind? But they would be going to India and he had chosen to marry her, he did not want to leave her behind, that was why he’d asked her to marry him.

  But the weeks with his family were going to be hard.

  ~

  When the carriage passed through the gates on to John’s property, Charlie turned. ‘Harry,’ she said in a low, concerned whisper.

  He’d been talking to Drew, her words interrupted their conversation. She’d paled and her eyes were wider. She turned away and leaned forward, looking back at the gate.

  Nothing could be seen of John’s house, it was still a mile or two away.

  The carriage rode on through the park land as Charlie turned to look at him again, her eyes expressing horror.

  He smiled and said quietly. ‘I did tell you John was a duke.’

  ‘But, Harry…’ The tone of her voice said she had not imagined this.

  No, he supposed it was unimaginable for someone who had not lived this life.

  ‘There is no need to be concerned.’

  ‘There really is not,’ Drew added. The carriage was too small for him not to overhear and become involved in their conversation. But he had grown up in and around such places too. It would never have seemed frightening or threatening to him. Last night Charlie had told him she grew up in one room, with only a curtain to separate her bed from her parents’ bed.

  ‘You are my wife,’ Harry reminded and reassured. ‘I will be with you.’ The word wife shocked him a little. He’d not said it aloud until now, but it was true. He’d taken a wife after all the years he’d said he never would. The thought made him smile.

  ‘I shall be there too. If you feel overwhelmed, you may run to me too.’ Drew sought to be helpful.

  Harry’s eyes remained focused on Charlie. ‘He is not jesting. Drew’s sister, Caroline, Caro, my brother’s wife, will tell you Drew and Mary provide a very reliable bolt hole if you are ever in trouble.’

  ‘Is Caroline the Duchess?’ Charlie asked.

  ‘No. Caroline is Rob’s wife, my elder full-brother’s wife.’

  ‘And my sister. Katherine is the Duchess. John’s wife,’ Drew explained. ‘But Kate is a quiet and pleasant woman, not at all stuffed and pompous like Rupert. You have no need to fear her.’

  ‘Though John may seem pompous, he is not either, not really,’ Harry added.

  Drew laughed. ‘No. I constantly see the side of him that is more relaxed, especially when it is only a small number of us with Katherine and the children.’

  ‘Your family are going to confuse me.’

  ‘But you will manage with them.’

  ‘We will make sure they are all especially nice,’ Drew confirmed. ‘Although it may take them a day or so to get over the fact that Harry has married you.’

  Charlie’s fingers tightened their grip on Harry’s hand.

  Damn. Drew had said the wrong thing. He obviously had not heard a word from John on the subject o
f Harry’s latest misdemeanours. Charlie had taken Drew’s words to mean that people would be upset that he’d married her, not that they would simply be shocked that he had married at all. ‘I have told them numerous times marriage was not for me. They will be amazed you have converted me to the idea.’

  She nodded, but the movement was awkward and the look in her eyes uncomfortable.

  He must stay at her side when they reached the house. She would need him near her. They would be there soon.

  He looked at Drew, who’d realised there was more to Harry’s hurried marriage than had been said.

  Harry would never answer the question that was in Drew’s eyes. Charlie’s past was just that, past. She deserved to be able to leave it there. But perhaps that was what concerned her most—walking amongst his family with the past nipping at her heels as Ash nipped at Obsidian’s if she did not move fast enough. He was going to have to work out how he could cut Charlie free from it, from the memories. Perhaps India would do that? Perhaps a change of country would help them both.

  They looked out of the windows and didn’t speak for a moment. Then he looked at Drew. Harry was not in a mood for silence. ‘Will Mary and the children be here or are they at home?’

  ‘They should be here. Mary was bringing the children over to spend the day with the family and Rob and Caro are here too. So you may announce your new situation to your entire family at once.’

  Lord. He had not thought about this from Charlie’s point of view. If everyone was in one room there would be a lot of them. She would be overwhelmed. But, then, the news must have already reached here. John must have spoken. There should not be too much surprise or fuss in her presence. He expected all the fuss to be made behind her back.

  The carriage drew to a halt on the gravel outside John’s beast of a Palladian country mansion.

  Harry looked at Charlie. She’d become statuesque, her lips were stiff and her expression fixed as she stared out of the window at the huge, pale stone columns that held up the portico.

  The area about the carriage became busy with servants and grooms.

  A footman opened the door. Harry looked at Drew, telling him to go first. Ash jumped down with Drew.

  Harry looked at Charlie once more. ‘You are a brave woman. You have proved that a million times over, I am sure, and this will not be the hardship it feels, I promise.’

  He climbed out then, and kept hold of her hand to help her down. ‘Chin up,’ he whispered lastly.

  The doors of the house opened as they crossed the gravel, her hand clinging to his. Drew was ahead of them, walking quickly. Mary was the first out and she hurried towards Drew, then wrapped her arms about his neck. They kissed as though they were the newly wedded couple.

  ‘Uncle Baba!’ The children followed, not running towards Drew but rushing at Harry.

  He let go of Charlie’s hand, grasped Iris’s midriff and lifted her high. ‘Hello, Iris, you little diamond, you.’ She was getting tall like her brother. He turned with her once, then set her down. She was getting too old to be thrown around.

  ‘Uncle Baba!’ George, Drew’s eldest son sought Harry’s attention.

  Harry held out a hand to George. George was definitely getting too old for silliness. George shook his hand with a grin.

  ‘I have brought Ash home for you, Iris.’ The dog was already pacing about the children, seeking attention, though she could probably not remember them. She had been a puppy when they’d left.

  ‘Can I see your sword?’ George asked.

  ‘No. It is too sharp. It is not a plaything, George. Now where is your brother?’

  ‘In the nursery with the other little ones,’ Iris answered.

  Little ones… it did not feel so long ago that she had been little.

  ‘Harry.’ He looked at Mary when she called to him. Her gaze turned to Charlie. The look asked, who is she, and it implied Mary had no idea. If John knew the information, then it had not reached Mary. She came over and embraced him, her arms encircling his neck. ‘What have you been up to now, who is the woman?’ she whispered in his ear, voicing the question she’d already asked once with her eyes.

  ‘Have you brought us anything?’ George asked as Mary let Harry go.

  ‘I have, George.’

  Harry walked back to Charlie, he had already broken his oath and left her standing. She was rigid and unsmiling. He set an arm about her waist. ‘I have brought you a new aunt. This is Charlie, Charlotte, my wife.’

  ‘Your wife,’ Mary’s voice came out in high pitch of surprise and yet in the exclamation was a lilt of accusation too. Charlie’s muscles flinched.

  Harry looked at the children, leaving Mary to get over her surprise and cease staring, as though Charlie was an oddity in a fairground. ‘Iris, George, meet your new aunt.’

  ‘Auntie Baba?’ Iris asked, as she patted Ash.

  Perhaps not that. ‘Auntie Charlie.’

  ‘Hello, Auntie Charlie?’ Iris bobbed a childish curtsey with her palm resting on Ash’s head.

  ‘Hello, Auntie Charlie.’ George bowed.

  Drew watched them with the smile of a proud father.

  ‘Hello,’ Mary echoed, finding her voice and stepping forward.

  Charlie’s hands had hung at her sides, but Mary took hold of them then kissed Charlie on both cheeks. ‘You must come in. You must meet our parents and brothers and sisters. They are all going to be so surprised.’ Mary kept a hold of one of Charlie’s hands and pulled her out of Harry’s embrace.

  Drew sent Harry a smile and a one-shouldered shrug as the children grasped a hand each and pulled Harry into the house behind Charlie and Mary, leaving Ash to be cared for by the grooms.

  ‘Uncle Baba!’ Rob’s daughter Sarah was at the top of the stairs. She came running down as he crossed the hall in the possession of George and Iris. Sarah was a sweet fey little thing like her mother, not Rob, with pale-blonde hair. She had been six on her last birthday.

  She embraced his middle. He settled a hand on her shoulder. ‘Hello ha’penny.’ That had always been his nickname for her because she was so small.

  A footman took his hat and Charlie’s bonnet.

  Mary glanced over her shoulder as she started climbing the stairs, leading Charlie ahead of him. ‘Mostly everyone is in the drawing room. Katherine has just had tea served. It is only Jemima and Georgiana outside with Gerard, they are playing badminton.’

  ‘Who is here?’ Harry asked as Sarah claimed his hand and pulled him on. Iris still hung on to his other hand, while George walked on with his father’s arm about his shoulders.

  ‘All of us and all of Uncle Robert’s family.’

  ‘Henry and Susan too?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘The others arrive in three weeks,’ Drew added. ‘For a summer ball.’

  He was home. Even though John’s property had never been his home. There was always this mass of people in his family and the sense of camaraderie. That was the feeling of home that he’d known as a child and found replicated in his early days in the army.

  Yet his life here and the way of the army were worlds apart. Here there was affection too and open, tender hearts. The last time he had joined his family had been immediately on his return from the Crimea and then it had been very difficult to step back into this. He’d felt alone amidst the crowd as memories had clouded and haunted his view of life. It was hard to carry around the guilt and the images of battle in a room of people who loved openly and lived with a simplistic view of right and wrong.

  But now…

  Charlie looked over her shoulder at him as she walked up the shallow steps. He was not alone this time. He would not speak of his army life here because he knew the two lives should never collide—but he had found a woman to be his companion, who seemed to understand the soldier in him. She had memories that held her apart too.

  He smiled encouragement at Charlie.

  She looked ahead.

  This was grander than John’s London house and it
was not draped in dustcovers, her humble background made her feel intimidated by all this splendour.

  He sighed out a breath. He would free himself from the children when he reached the drawing room.

  The drawing room was busy, although the long room was not as full as it was when all his mother’s family were here too.

  Drew looked at him and raised his eyebrows, saying, how are you going to tell them?

  He let go of the children’s hands. ‘Excuse me, girls, I have something to do.’ Then walked over to Charlie as Mary let her go.

  He wrapped an arm about Charlie’s waist as he looked across the room. His sister, Helen, noticed him, and his cousin, Sarah. They had been talking to one another. He sent Helen a crooked smile. Then caught his cousin Henry’s eye. People’s gazes turned to him like a whisper passing across the room. He could not see his father, though, nor John.

  ‘May I have your attention, everyone!’ He shouted in the voice of a man who had called men into a charge during war.

  ‘Harry!’ Jennifer, his sister, who had not noticed him, cried out, turning to hurry over.

  ‘No wait.’ He lifted a hand to stop Jennifer’s approach. ‘I have something to tell you.’

  The faces in the room became serious as every gaze turned to Charlie. None of them appeared to know who she was. John had kept the news to himself and left this moment for Harry.

  ‘This is Charlotte, Charlie, and this morning she became my wife. So there, now you may tell us how pleased you all are for us.’

  Poor Charlie was rigid-backed and stiff-faced in the style of the pillars that held up the portico outside as everyone rushed towards them like a frothing wave rolling on to the shore.

  Charlie did not even try to smile.

  ‘Harry, you scoundrel.’ He could not keep a hold of Charlie as Jennifer wrapped her arms about his neck and kissed his cheek. ‘Congratulations.’

  Helen was next. ‘I never thought you would marry. You have always been so against the idea.’ He was hugged and kissed again.

  Then their husbands, the Paget twins, shook his hand. Helen had married Lord Paget, the Earl, the eldest by less than an hour, and six months later Jennifer had claimed his twin brother. Beyond them he saw his cousin Henry walking towards him, accompanied by Uncle Robert, Harry’s father and John. His mother came towards Charlie as the girls welcomed her to the family.