Noah's Journey (Sawyer Brothers #3)

by C. A. Harms

  “But—” I narrowed my eyes, daring her to continue. “You were never so direct before,” she complained as she walked around the back of the car to get to the other side.

  “Things change,” I said as she opened the door.

  “Hi!” Austin called, instantly breaking the tension.

  I itched to go to him but remained where I was standing. Stacey helped him from the car and took his hand before leading him around the car. My body was humming with excitement. I had plans to spend every moment of our entire day doing fun things with Austin. As they came into view, I heard my mother stifle a sob of joy at seeing her grandson for the first time. I offered her a reassuring smile before kneeling in front of Austin. “Hey, bud, you ready to spend the day with me?” I asked, watching closely for any signs of resistance on his part.

  His big blue eyes studied me. “Are you my dad?”

  Without even thinking, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled his little body against my chest. “Yes,” I whispered into his neck. My body shook with emotions I never felt before. “I’m your daddy, bud.”

  The tears rolled along my cheeks as he placed his arms around my neck and hugged me back.

  Last night I had refrained from doing just what I was now because I didn’t want to scare him, but now I couldn’t stop. I wanted to spend the day with him in my arms because I was terrified if I let go, he would disappear. I would deal with my anger over missing out on so much of his life later. Right now, I just wanted to enjoy having him here.

  “You plan on giving me a chance to meet my grandson?” I jumped in surprise as my mother spoke from directly behind me. Looking back over my shoulder, I saw she had also been crying. “I think I’ve missed enough of his life.” She shifted her eyes toward Stacey, and my heart raced.

  I released my hold on Austin and stood, making sure to keep his hand in mine. I wasn’t ready to let go completely yet. “Austin, this is my mother and your grandma,” I said.

  He looked at my mother the same way he had me. It was as if he was taking the time to analyze her every feature. A small smile pulled at the corner of his mouth as his eyes connected with hers once more. “Hi,” he said.

  “Hello, Austin.” My mom’s voice cracked, and the sound pulled at something deep in my chest as I tried to wrap my head around the fact I was someone’s father.

  ***

  Stacey had stuck around for about two hours before she finally gave in and left Austin with me. I was more than positive it had a lot to do with the fact my mother and I didn’t give her the attention she was hoping for. Stacey always wanted to be the center of attention, but we were completely focused on Austin. Every time he laughed or smiled, my heart raced with pure joy. It was addictive. They say you love your child the second you see them after they’re born. Well, that same feeling hit me the moment I first saw Austin standing at Stacey’s side. I was undeniably in love with my son and falling harder with each passing second.

  Now Austin and I were on our way to Ryan’s, where my brothers were waiting not so patiently to meet their nephew. I was going to introduce them the next time Austin visited, but the assholes had no patience. They had been calling and texting all day, asking what he was like and so on. Plus, Olivia showed up with Amber right after lunch, and the guys didn’t like that they got to meet Austin and they hadn’t had the chance. It was as if they were all in a competition to who would get to know my son the most.

  Stacey had called multiple times, asking when she could expect Austin home. I finally told her that he would be home when I decided to bring him. She hung up, mumbling something about me being an asshole. But my family had been denied Austin’s presence for his entire life, and I had no intention of cutting my visit short to appease her. It was time she got used to sharing him.

  Chapter Five

  Alena

  “This is gorgeous.” Bailey held up the dress I had stayed up late sewing. I couldn’t sleep because my self-doubt had been playing a mean game with me.

  Last night I waited for Noah to call after he dropped off Austin. I’d talked to him for about five minutes when he was leaving Ryan’s to take Austin back to Stacey. From our conversation, I’d assumed he would either call me back or stop by, but I hadn’t heard anything from him since then. So, of course, all my doubts resurfaced once again. Visions of Stacey and him rekindling their relationship over the joy of having a son together were roaming around in my head. To ignore them, I dove in to some of the patterns I had created, and Bailey was now drooling all over the results.

  “I love the fitted top on this one. Seriously, Alena, you need to get this out there. The ladies in this town would be placing orders.”

  “Thanks,” I replied, though even Bailey’s praise was doing nothing for my mood. “I was actually thinking of renting the former craft store across the street to open my own store. Thought I may give the fashion idea a go.”

  Her eyes lit up with the news, and I forced a smile. I had to find something to occupy my mind, or I would drive myself crazy.

  I guess the truth was I didn’t want to share Noah. Oh, I didn’t mind sharing when it came to Austin, but I knew Stacey came with him. And I had a feeling her intentions were anything but honest. Why I wanted to claw her eyes out when I barely knew her was a mystery to me. I am not a hateful person, but she pissed me off with just one flick of her hair.

  “Jackson met Austin last night,” Bailey said as she continued to look through the patterns I had stretched out all over my room. “He said that he looks a lot like Noah.”

  I nodded as I remembered thinking the same thing the first night I saw Austin and his big blue eyes. “From what little I saw of him, I’d have to agree. He’s adorable.”

  “He stayed at his mom’s last night.”

  I looked up from the sewing machine in front of me and waited for her to explain.

  “Maybe I shouldn’t be the one to tell you,” Bailey said, trying to backtrack, but there was no way I was letting her off that easily.

  “Well, you already started, so maybe you need to keep going.” I didn’t take my eyes from hers.

  “Okay, damn, stop with the evil eye.” She rolled her eyes as she sat on the end of the bed. “Tammy told us this morning that Stacey really laid it on thick last night. Apparently, when Noah showed up to drop Austin off, she broke down.”

  “Broke down?” I asked.

  “Cried, hysterically. She got Austin all upset. Her parents took him inside and got him ready for bed so Noah and Stacey could talk.” Bailey shrugged. My stomach knotted as her words confirmed my fears of Stacey playing Noah. “Noah was a mess after that crazy scene. He showed up at Tammy’s place, and she called Jackson and Ryan to come over. They all sat up for hours talking. I don’t even know what time it was when Jackson finally made it back home.”

  I couldn’t keep looking at Bailey, not when she was giving me that pitying look. So I turned back toward the sewing machine and began pushing the silk material through the feeder, focusing completely on each stitch and the sound of the needle as it punctured the cloth as if I was moving in slow motion. A large lump of insecurity settled in my throat, making me feel like the room was closing in around me.

  “Lena,” Bailey whispered, but I kept my back to her. I couldn’t face her right now. In fact, I couldn’t face anyone. I just wanted to be alone.

  When her hand came to rest on my shoulder, I jumped in surprise. “She may be trying to wiggle her way back in, but I’ve seen the way he looks at you. Don’t doubt it, just give him time to figure this all out. I can’t even attempt to imagine what’s going on in his mind. I’m sure he’s terrified that if he says or does the wrong thing around Stacey that she’ll take Austin from him. That can’t be an easy feeling to deal with.”

  I knew she was right. I just had to trust that what he said was true. That he had feelings for me, and Stacey being here couldn’t change that.

  ***

  “Mr. West, that’s really kind of you, but I just don’t fee
l right about not paying rent,” I said as I stood in the doorway of the small commercial space. It was the perfect size for a boutique. There was a small office in the back along with storage space and a work area. Out front I would have room to display my clothing and even stock it with ordered-in items as well, from purses to shoes, and of course my favorite line of lingerie.

  It was also the perfect location. I would be close to Amber’s bakery and my apartment, yet I would have the room to begin my own journey. For the first time in days, I felt excited. But Mr. West was refusing to accept any money for the space, and that was making me hesitate.

  “Alena, sweetheart, this building has sat empty for almost two years. After Mary died, I left it just as it was with all her craft items everywhere. I didn’t have the heart to clear it out. She loved this little place. She called it her haven. She would spend hours here just creating trinkets and decorations for every season. She never truly did it for the money, she just loved the joy in the eyes of those she created things for. If she broke even each month, she was overjoyed.” I watched in silence as he looked over the now-empty room, his eyes glossy.

  “After about six months, I opened the doors again and began selling what she had in stock. Everything sold, even the decorations she hadn’t quite finished yet.” He cleared his throat as his gaze connected with mine once more. “It would bring joy not only to me, but also to my Mary to see a sweet girl like you settle in here. So I’ll make you a deal.” He arched a brow at me, waiting for me to assure him I was willing to listen.

  “What kind a deal?” I asked.

  “I’ll give you ninety days to make this place amazing, and then after that I’ll consider charging you rent.” With a jerk of his head, he spun on his heel and began walking toward the door. “Keys are on the counter,” he hollered back over his shoulder with a chuckle.

  “That is not a deal,” I said loudly to his fleeing back.

  “It’s the only deal I’m offering, darlin’. Now make me proud.” And then he was gone.

  I stood in the center of the space, looking around at every empty shelf and rack. My heart raced with excitement as I allowed myself to imagine them filled with all the things I loved and wanted to share with others.

  This was what I needed to get myself back on track.

  I walked toward the counter and placed my hand over the key Mr. West left behind. A big smile stretched out over my lips.

  It was time I turned this place into what I imagined.

  I reached for my phone in my back pocket and quickly dialed the number of my friend Hayden back in Chicago. He knew fashion, and he had some amazing contacts.

  “How’s Montana treating my city girl?” As his overly excited, slightly high-pitched voice rang through the phone, I smiled even brighter. I missed him.

  “I got my space. Now I need you to help me fill it up with all things pretty,” I replied, and he surprised me with a very loud squeal of joy.

  “Oh, sweetness, you better be ready to shine, because I have a few ladies who are looking to branch out and get their creations noticed. I’ll email you some samples of their work. I also still have that list you sent me last month. Are those still a go?” Hayden’s spunkiness always made me feel so much better. You couldn’t help but absorb some of it when he was around you.

  “Yes, I want it all. I need a week to get this place cleaned up and ready, but after that I need to fill it to the brim. I already contacted the bank and have everything, including the money to support the business. Plus, I ordered signs. I need to paint, though.” My head was now spinning with worry. Would a week be enough time?

  “Breathe, Len.” I closed my eyes tightly, taking a moment to just relax. “I’m already booking a flight.”

  “What?” I said as my eyes shot open in shock.

  “I just texted you my flight information, and I’ll see ya soon, sweetheart. Don’t worry, we got this,” he assured me.

  “Thanks,” I whispered. I had never intended for Hayden to come here, but I had to admit I was overjoyed that he was coming.

  Chapter Six

  Noah

  “How are things going with Stacey and Austin?” Ryan asked as he sat down on the opposite side of my desk at the station.

  I looked up at him in confusion. “Things with Austin have been great. But I’m not sure what you mean by Stacey, because there isn’t anything going on there.” I continued to watch him, waiting for him to dig a little deeper as I knew he would.

  “You sure about that?” he asked as he leaned back in the chair, not taking his eyes off mine. “Because as an outsider looking in, it doesn’t appear that way.”

  “She’s Austin’s mom, that’s all. We may have once had something, but that was a long time ago. Nothing’s changed,” I assured him. I leaned in, placing my forearms on the desktop and arched a brow at him. “Who else believes there’s more going on than me just spending time getting to know my son?”

  He shrugged in the cocky manner of his. We continued to have a stare-down, because whether he liked it or not, he would be explaining what this little interrogation meant. I knew there was more to it. When he didn’t add anything, I decided to put a stop to this shit real quick.

  “So if you think something is going on with me and Stacey, then I’m sure Amber does too. Which means Bailey and Alena think so too, right?” When his eyes widened, I knew I’d gotten to the heart of the matter. “That’s what this is about, isn’t it? Alena.”

  “You really haven’t spent much time talking to her, have you?” he asked. “Last I heard, the only thing she gets from you anymore is maybe a text here or there. It’s been close to two weeks now since Stacey came back. How many times have you seen Alena since then?”

  “I’m spending time with my son,” I said as anger rose within me.

  “And that’s good, but does that mean you can’t at least call Alena, or even stop by to say hey? Or has that obvious attraction you had to her now dwindled?” He still wore that shitty-ass look on his face. It was really beginning to piss me off.

  “I don’t think this is any of your business, but if you must know, I do still, in fact, have an attraction for Alena.”

  “That’s good, but just so you know, brother, this is my business. Alena is Amber’s cousin, and when you fuck her over, that shit affects my home life. I told you from the beginning, if you remember, that if you didn’t have good intentions, you should leave Alena alone.”

  “I got blindsided by the fact I have a son, Ryan. A son I haven’t been present for during the first four years of his life. I’m dealing with his crazy-ass mother, who thinks she and I are going to be something more to each other than two people who have a child together. That is a lot of fucked up, in a really short time.”

  I had been holding shit back, trying to keep the peace, but I needed to vent. “Every damn day I am scared shitless that Stacey is gonna pick up and take Austin back to L.A. I worry about upsetting her, because if she takes him from me again, it will crush me. I don’t know how to balance this all out. Maybe that’s why I’ve kept my distance from Alena. She doesn’t need this shit.”

  My outburst had gained the attention of a few officers around us. Ryan’s features softened as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

  “I’m sorry. I guess I just know what shit Stacey is capable of, and it’s not just you I’m worried about, it’s Alena too,” Ryan added before he stood up and walked back toward his office.

  I knew over the last two weeks I’d only talked to Alena a couple times and texted her a few times in between those calls. My head was so messed up with Stacey and my own fear that I was backing away from Alena. I wasn’t doing it on purpose, I was just so afraid of losing Austin again that I wasn’t doing anything other than working and spending time with him.

  After taking a few more minutes to calm down, I picked up my phone and sent a text to Alena.

  Me: Are you free tonight?

  After about five minutes with no respons
e, I hung my head in frustration. My life had become a whirlwind of shit in a matter of days, and I wasn’t sure how to make it all work.

  ***

  My shift was just ending, and I had intended on stopping by the bakery to see Alena. But as I stepped out the front doors of the station, I froze in the doorway.

  Stacey’s red sports car was parked next to my old Ford truck, and she had my tailgate down. Sitting on the edge with his feet dangling over, Austin waved at me enthusiastically. Damn kid could make all this shit worth it with just a smile.

  Stacey leaned against the tailgate just at Austin’s side. She wore a tiny red tank top and the shortest jean skirt I had ever seen. Her blonde hair was hanging in big, long ringlets down her back and over her shoulders. She looked beautiful. But I knew beneath that beauty was an ugly, conniving, and manipulative person. I wouldn’t fall for it a second time. I had been there once before, and the road to recovery took too damn long.

  I focused on Austin as I walked toward my truck with a smile. “Hey, bud, whatcha out doing?”

  “We came to see you,” he replied with a toothy grin. “Mommy said we could go to the bakery down the road. They have chocolate chip cookies and brownies.” I couldn’t help but chuckle as his eyes grew wide, and then his words hit me.

  “The bakery?” I looked up at Stacey, and she was staring back at me with a look I didn’t like much. In fact, I was sure she had more than just chocolate chip cookies in mind when she decided to come here. “Why don’t I just take him?”

  She shook her head and took a step closer. “No, Dad wanted me to pick up an apple pie for dessert tonight. Just thought we could take you along for a treat after your long shift.”