Broken Toys

by Jackson Lear

  “I don’t have a tattoo,” Josh said.

  Brooke shrugged and moved on to warming up her shoulders. “Then it’s like freckles. You have them on your arms but when you’re in front of the mirror you don’t notice them.”

  It made sense. Josh turned to see the door open and another couple of regulars arrived. Josh moved to face the front while trying to warm himself up. He was halfway through a lunge when his heart stopped. A familiar voice whispered behind him.

  “Morning stranger.”

  Josh spun in a mix of horror and exploding nerves. Amanda was standing behind him, wearing work out gear and armed with a grey yoga mat of her own. Josh spluttered out his answer in dismay. “Hey. Hi. How’s it going?”

  “Good. Fine. Never better,” Amanda said, in the same tone as Josh’s shocked awakening. She glanced over to the woman standing dangerously close to her oldest friend. “Hi, I’m Amanda.”

  “Brooke. Nice to meet you.”

  The two girls smiled, both relishing that Josh had been caught and that merciless teasing was a surety in his future. The look they gave each other showed no territorial competition between them, but there was definitely an air of unusual familiarity with the guy standing in the middle of the threesome.

  Josh pointed to Amanda and had to break the ice for the sake of his sanity. “Amanda used to live behind my house, growing up.”

  “Oh, nice,” said Brooke.

  Josh turned to Amanda. “And Brooke and I work together.”

  Amanda gave a slow nod while putting together all of the tiny little pieces. “Very good.”

  “So what brings you to yoga?” Josh asked. His heart skipped a few beats as he tried to figure out if Amanda was there to be his guardian angel or a devilish nightmare. Or worse: both.

  “I used to go to yoga all the time in New York and I’m finally waking up early enough to kick that jet lag to the curb. So, here I am. Sorry if I’m intruding.”

  “Not at all,” said Josh, out of nothing but sheer politeness.

  Amanda turned to Brooke and a smile took her over completely. “So what’s the instructor like?”

  “Oh, Janelle’s great,” said Brooke, matching Amanda’s energy. “She’s been doing this her whole life and used to be a presenter in Vancouver. You used to live in New York?”

  “Yeah. Still kinda do, technically. I’m just here to catch up with old friends, learn all the new goss, help out where I can.”

  “I do hear a twang in your accent,” Brooke said.

  “It comes and goes. You should have heard me through Heathrow. I almost passed as a native New Yorker. Took me a while to remember pounds, not dollars, and that you don’t tip when you’re in the cab. Although I think I did. I didn’t sleep much on the flight and probably fell into old habits.” She looked Brooke up and down and nodded to herself. “Must say, I’m kinda jealous of your thighs.”

  “Thanks. My arse needs work.”

  “Same here,” said Amanda, though not before slapping her leggings.

  Both women caught Josh nodding. He wasn’t even aware of doing it. As far as he was concerned he was remaining as calm as hell during one of the most torturous sessions in recent memory.

  He then noticed that both Amanda and Brooke were wearing a hint of eyeliner and eye shadow to the gym. It was subtle, but it was definitely there.

  Amanda pointed to the spot next to Brooke. “May I?”

  “Of course.”

  Josh took a breath inwards preparing to recommend setting up next to him, but it was too late. Amanda dropped her mat so that Brooke was in the middle of the group.

  “So how long have you been coming here?”

  “About six months,” said Brooke.

  “And are you from Luxford originally?”

  “No, I’m mostly from the other side of London. Came here to escape the hustle and bustle. How long have you known Josh?”

  “Since he was four,” said Amanda.

  Josh himself was surprised at how quickly the ladies fell into a rhythm and left him completely out of the conversation. The idea of Brooke befriending everyone he knew made him feel a little peculiar.

  “Since he was four?” Brooke shot them both a cheeky look. “And you two never ...”

  “No, no, no, no, no,” Amanda said, shaking her head. “Although I probably should’ve.”

  Josh’s eyes shot open.

  “Kidding,” Amanda said, as she fired off a ‘gotcha’ look at Josh.

  Brooke nearly guffawed.

  Josh grumbled while trying to remain as stoic as possible, but it wasn’t even six a.m. yet and Amanda had done nothing but scramble his brain since she arrived.

  “How long have you two been working together?” asked Amanda.

  “About four months,” said Brooke.

  Janelle turned to face the crowd, introduced herself to the new arrivals, and took them all through an hour of cobra, downward dog, and rabbit. Amanda kept her eyes on Janelle for as long as she could, stealing glances in the mirrors once in a while to see where Brooke and Josh’s eyes were. Though she lost track of them during some of sideways positions by the end of the hour she had all the confirmation she needed.

  At last, Josh could breathe again. Janelle thanked them all for their participation and rallied everyone for a quick exit so the next group could come in for aerobics. Brooke headed over to Janelle with the excuse of trying to improve her rear end. It gave Josh a chance to pull Amanda to the side.

  “What’s going on here?” Josh asked, holding back a glare.

  Amanda tapped his arm to show that it was no big deal. “I heard about you and some girl from work. I came to see if it was serious.”

  “Why?” growled Josh.

  “I wanted to see if you were wasting your time.”

  Now he was forced to grit his teeth. “And?”

  “And I’m your wingwoman,” said Amanda, as casually as ever.

  Josh paused and glanced to the side, caught off guard by Amanda’s announcement. “My wingwoman?”

  “Always have been,” said Amanda. “Brooke is into you, that much you already know, but you are stalling and that isn’t like you.”

  Josh glanced to the front of the room to make sure they still had a few moments to themselves. “It’s complicated.”

  “I know. Believe me, I just got out of a complicated relationship, with a mortgage and a job left behind, so I’m aware of complications.”

  Josh narrowed in and read Amanda as best he could. She had never come to investigate someone for herself. Her advice had always been that of an armchair expert. Yet here she was, forcing herself into a confrontation. “What’s going on here?”

  Brooke came back to the duo. “Did you like it?”

  “I did,” said Amanda.

  “Good.” Brooke handed Amanda a couple of vouchers from Janelle. “Free entry until the end of the month.”

  “Thanks!”

  They both heard Josh exhale sharply.

  “I have a feeling you know far more dirty secrets about Josh than he would ever let on.”

  Amanda fell into a nod. “Oh yeah, like the time he stole a truck.”

  Josh and Brooke’s eyes both lit up in surprise.

  “What?” Brooke asked.

  Josh threw his hands up in defence. “It doesn’t sound as bad as Amanda makes it out to be.”

  “Oh yeah? Details. Now.”

  Josh kept his voice down while a dozen sweaty ladies streamed by and a dozen more in fresh work out gear entered the room. “I drove off in a tow truck before the driver was able to hitch up my car. Amanda was the decoy so I could get into the cab.”

  “What? What the hell happened?”

  “The driver ran after me, nearly had a heart attack just a hundred metres later. I pulled over, ran through the back streets and found Amanda had driven off in my car. Somehow I never got a ticket or a fine.”

  Brooke burst into laughter. “Well, yeah, that’s one way to do it.” She sighed and looked ba
ck to Amanda. “I have a feeling you’re about to ask me a whole bunch of questions.”

  “Yep, but I was going to do it in secret,” said Amanda, with a quick nod.

  “I figured. None of Josh’s friends come at all and suddenly it’s someone who’s known him his whole life?”

  “I didn’t know she was coming,” said Josh.

  “Interesting,” said Brooke, locking eyes with Josh as she tried to figure out just how much of her he’d been telling people.

  Amanda stepped back from the duo. “I should go freshen up. And possibly retox with a coffee afterwards.”

  “Oh, you can join us,” said Brooke. “We usually have breakfast together in the café downstairs.”

  “I would love that,” said Amanda. She slipped away and headed for the shower.

  Brooke waited until Amanda had left the studio before turning to Josh. “I like her.”

  “She has her moments,” said Josh.

  “I can see why you two are friends. And you seriously never had a crush on her?”

  “Never,” said Josh.

  Brooke squinted at him. “You should practice that. Needs work.”

  “I honestly never had a crush on her.”

  Brooke edged towards the door. “I should get ready. Meet you at Krifí?”

  “Sure,” said Josh.

  It felt like the longest wait of Josh’s life. Just the idea of Amanda and Brooke chatting away in the changing rooms with no filter between them was enough to send Josh’s mind hurtling into panic. Amanda was either sabotaging Josh’s relationship with Hannah or destroying it with Brooke. Just what the hell did Anthony say to Amanda? There was simply no other way she could have known about Brooke, and yet there she was, knowing exactly who she was going to bump into.

  Josh strolled around the entrance of the gym for a solid ten minutes, working from one paranoid conversation to another. At last the ladies arrived. He checked his phone like it was no big deal and noted the time. It would have to be a quick breakfast.

  Josh ordered a Cajun salad and an espresso, while Brooke had a toasted sandwich and chai latte. Amanda went with an omelette and a cappuccino.

  “How long do you guys have?” Amanda asked, looking over Josh and Brooke.

  “I have to be at work at eight,” said Brooke.

  “Is it far away?”

  “Nah. Five minute drive from here. So I have thirty five minutes to eat up before I need to leave.”

  “And I can turn up whenever I like,” said Josh, with a forced smile.

  “But he’s usually there at ten past eight.”

  “These days, yeah. Sitting around a café by yourself can be a bit boring.”

  “I don’t know,” said Amanda. “Bring a good book and lose yourself for a couple of hours.”

  “That’s what I keep telling him,” said Brooke. “Especially something like Anna Karenina.”

  “Already read it,” said Josh.

  “So you guys have breakfast here every day?” Amanda asked.

  Brooke shook her head. “No, just once a week, sometimes twice if Josh is willing to shout, otherwise it gets too pricey.” Brooke leaned back in her chair and looked over her shoulder. “Okay, I’m giving you two a chance to talk about whatever might come up in natural conversation, just as long as it’s about me. Okay?” Brooke pushed away from the table and went to the bathroom.

  Amanda leaned forward and whispered to Josh. “I like her.”

  “Good. You were saying something before when you rudely interrupted my peaceful yoga work out.”

  “Yeah, don’t be like that. I’m your wingwoman, remember? A month of yoga has gone by and you still haven’t made a move.”

  “Three weeks of yoga have gone by and it’s still complicated,” said Josh, while checking to see if anyone could overhear him.

  “Okay, you have a window of opportunity here, so first of all: you help me, I help you, all right?”

  For a moment Josh was convinced he had blanked over whatever Amanda last said. He backtracked and decided to focus on the wingwoman aspect a little more. “Okay. Not quite sure what I’m agreeing to, but okay.”

  It had been raging in her for longer than she cared to imagine. Worst still, it was either now or never, and there was no way in hell she would hold onto it for that long. With a shaky burst in her chest her deepest secret came out. “Anthony.”

  Josh laughed, obviously misunderstanding what Amanda had just said. Then he caught sight of how terrifying her confession had been to her. It was quickly followed by a trembling shame courtesy of her oldest friend laughing in her face. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah,” said Amanda.

  “You ...”

  “Yeah.”

  There was no question the news took him utterly by surprise. Even the issue of Amanda catching him off guard an hour ago was now thrown away. “Does he know?”

  The locks were loose, but for every controlled secret that escaped another few made a move towards early freedom. “He’s not happy with Gemma.”

  “I know, but, still ... now?”

  Amanda turned to the side in a look of defeat. “Come on, give a girl a break. I don’t know why. I don’t know why him. But if I don’t do something now then I’m going to lose my mind.”

  “Yeah, that’s …”

  “Complicated?” Amanda asked.

  Josh gently nodded his head.

  “No kidding. I’ve tried to shut this down so many times and when I do I’m left feeling hollow, a broken husk going through the motions out of sheer survival because I can’t block out just the single person I love, I end up blocking everyone and everything. It’s the worst spiral of depression you can ever force upon yourself. So I’m left treading water after trying to drown myself and just before I go under I start screaming to get that feeling back again, hoping like hell that I can still find my way to it because if it’s actually gone for good and I’ve lost the person who’s mattered the most to me ... Then one day it returns like it was no big deal.”

  “The relief of having it back again leaves you in hopeless intoxication,” said Josh, with a slow nod.

  “Yeah. At first I liked having a crush on him because he was one of my best friends. I could dream that through some forced circumstance we had to share a room, that we’d be up all night talking until I fell asleep with him watching over me, that he would curl up, lay his arm around me and give me a squeeze. And we’ll wake up and no boundaries were crossed but just having him there, that close to me, and he would just realise who he was supposed to be with.

  “Then it became more than just a crush and I had to leave the fucking country just to have a shot at getting over him. But he’s home. My home. Where the heart is. He’s it. He’s the agony and joy wrapped into one, the person who’s got a hold of that single thread that can unravel me. I love every minute I’m with him. And right now I need every miracle there is out there because, as miserable as he is, he’s not going to leave her because of the kids.”

  Amanda’s eyes swelled before dropping towards the table. Her chest heaved with every breath. Inside, she scrambled to fix those locks back into place, to never risk confessing anything like that in public ever again.

  Josh leaned back in his chair, dumbstruck and feeling woefully inept at knowing what to do for a friend who was on the verge of crying. He plucked a napkin from the holder and handed it across.

  “Thanks.” Amanda started dabbing her eyes.

  “How long as this been going on for?”

  A shrug. “I don’t know. Too long, I guess.”

  “And you’ve never loved anyone else?”

  “Well, sure, but it’s only ever been temporary. I knew it at the time as well. I liked them, I even found myself in love with them, but how easily they left my mind when they weren’t around.” Her hands fired out for her cappuccino and she downed it like double shot of bourbon. “So look, you help me, I’ll help you.”

  “But ...”

  “Josh? Focus. I’ll help
you.”

  She should have been back from the bathroom by now. “You’ll help me with Brooke?”

  “Yeah.”

  “How?”

  “My place.”

  Josh heard the words but he still had to shake his head. “Don’t quite follow.”

  “You and Brooke can use my place. You won’t be at risk of running into Hannah, or Brooke’s husband, not unless those two live in Portal Close.”

  “They don’t,” said Josh, working through the logistics of what Amanda was saying. “They live on the north side of Banyew.”

  “Good. It’s not like my place really matters, my mum and her stupid boyfriend renovated it and bought all the furniture, so you can do whatever you like in there. And you know the hen party is coming up this weekend.”

  “Yeah, I know,” said Josh, now with his heart beating quickly in his chest. The adrenaline of having a plan coming together made a far off possibility now seem within reach.

  “Like I said, there’s a narrow window of opportunity.”

  Josh’s heart shuddered into a new gear as he realised that his well-hidden crush on Brooke was not as hidden as he thought. People had seen them at the gym. People had seen them in the café. There was no way this was still a secret, especially if Amanda saw right through their defences.

  “So this weekend, Gemma will be gone as well. And Anthony will be home alone.”

  “That’s when you’ll make your move?”

  “Yeah. I just don’t know how to.”

  “Invite yourself over, strip down to nothing.”

  “I ... need more help than that,” said Amanda.

  “It’s a pretty straight forward move. Hard to misinterpret.”

  “Come on Josh, you know him.”

  “You know him too.”

  “And I can’t do that if his kids are home at the time.”

  Josh grunted and lowered his head. “All right. I’ll give it some thought and see if I can work some magic on him.”

  “Work quickly,” said Amanda. “On Anthony and Brooke. There’s a window for both of them and it’s closing fast.”

  28

  Daniel

  Daniel and the boys knocked on James’ door. After a few minutes they saw a familiar peeling back of the curtain before it settled into place. James unlocked the door and snorted when he found the boys standing in front of him. He looked like he had just been sleeping on the sofa. Ian caught a whiff of alcohol and wondered if the guy had even showered since the last time they saw him. James pulled the door open and led them inside.