Gentlemen Prefer Curves: A Perfect Fit Novel

by Sugar Jamison

“Pancakes.”

  “She’ll like your pancakes.” He chuckled. “I promise. They have to be better than mine anyway. Last time I made them I served them to her burned and raw at the same time.”

  “Gross. That’s like child abuse.”

  “Most of the time I cook for her I keep a lookout for the cops because I’m pretty sure the stuff I feed her is a crime against food and humanity.”

  “I can cook.” She kissed his chest. “I can teach you how.” She was quiet for a moment, absently stroking his hard stomach. “I’m scared shitless, you know. She wants me to be her mother, Carter. I love her. I love her so much. I want the world for her, but what if I fail her? What if I suck at being a mother?”

  “You’ve got it.” He kissed her forehead. “Those thoughts right there are what being a parent is all about. At least for me. Most days I’m wondering if I’m screwing her up. If she’s going to need a lifetime’s worth of therapy. Every day I ask myself if I suck at being a parent.”

  “You don’t,” she assured him.

  “And you won’t. All you have to do is love her. That’s all she wants.”

  Carter made it all sound so simple, but Belinda knew that this was one thing in her life that she couldn’t screw up.

  *

  “Belinda?” Ruby called to her the next week as they were walking hand in hand to her parents’ house. “What’s a French kiss?”

  Belinda looked down at the child, feeling her heart jump into her throat. She and Carter had been back together for almost a week. Not much had changed for them, except that they spent more time together. She would pick Ruby up from school and they would hang out until Carter came home from work. They would all eat dinner together and she would go home just as Ruby was getting ready for bed. Carter had asked her to stay almost every night, but she only slept over once and left before Ruby woke up. They had argued about it. She felt weird about being there with him, like sleeping with him every night would change things, rush them. She didn’t want to rush this time.

  She wanted to ease her way back into being his wife, into being Ruby’s mother. But she wasn’t sure that was going to happen. When it came to Carter she always seemed to jump in with both feet.

  “Belinda! Are you going to tell me what a French kiss is?”

  Holy shit.

  “Why do you ask?” she said, trying to keep the panic from reaching her voice.

  “Because I heard some big kids talking about it on the bus when I was going to painting class this week and I wanted to know.”

  “Painting class was on Tuesday. Why didn’t you ask your daddy?”

  “Because he gets mad when I ask him about kissing.” She frowned. “He won’t tell me what sex is. He got real mad when I asked him. But I know people do sex, because that’s how babies get here. I just don’t know how they do sex.”

  Belinda didn’t know if she’d rather be struck by lightning or swallowed by a sinkhole in that moment, but anything was preferable to answering the little girl’s questions about sex. She didn’t want to know how Ruby found out about sex. She supposed it was the way most little kids heard about it. It was impossible to shield them from life. And if she freaked out, she was sure Ruby would remember that more than any answer she might give.

  “French kissing is when people kiss with their tongues,” she said, answering the girl’s question, hoping that she would be satisfied.

  “That’s gross!”

  “Yeah, and if anybody does that to you, you knock his teeth out.”

  “I will.” She frowned, truly offended. The door swung open before they even approached. Carmina stepped out, wearing an apron, her long hair elegantly swept on top of her head, a little flour smudged on her cheek. She looked like she was doing a high-fashion Betty Crocker ad. “Pudge. I didn’t know you were coming today!” She looked at her watch. “It’s just before lunchtime and you brought Ruby with you. It must have been an early dismissal at school today. Is that right? Some sort of teacher meetings. I know other parents hated them when you were a child because they had to scramble and find places for their children but I never minded. Remember we used to go out for lunch on those days and for a little shopping? You used to love to go shopping with me when you were Ruby’s age. You loved shoes. I swear you walked better in heels at six than most models ever do. Especially that Miranda Phillips. Always looked like a horse to me when she did runway. I hated runway. Speaking of runways, did you see Project Runway this week? I’m so glad they got rid of that whiny little crybaby one. You know who I’m talking about. No talent. Everybody thinks they know fashion nowadays! But I love that Tim Gunn. You think I could get him to go shopping with me? Bah! Your father would have a heart attack if he saw how much we would spend. He doesn’t like me to have new things. I’m just his servant.” She brushed her hands off on her apron. “Come inside. I was making cookies for your father. You can help. Hello, beautiful Ruby. I’m happy to see you again.” She bent to kiss Ruby’s cheeks.

  “Hello, Mrs. Gordon. I had a half day and Belinda picked me up from school because Daddy had a meeting in Rhinebeck this morning.”

  “Rhinebeck is lovely. I wanted to move there but my husband said no, because he didn’t want to drive an hour to work. So we are here, but Durant is nice, too. Come, come. Why are you still standing outside?” She stepped aside and ushered them in. “I didn’t expect to see my only child today. I have not seen you in a while, Pudge. I thought when you moved back here that we would be seeing each other all the time, but I guess busy ladies can’t make time for their old mothers. Not even a phone call. My life has been very sad these past few weeks.”

  “You’re laying it on kind of thick today, aren’t you, Mamá?” She kissed her mother’s cheek.

  Carmina looked Belinda directly in the eye. “I have one child. One. I know more about the next-door neighbor’s daughter than I do about my own.” She turned away from her in a huff. “Did you eat lunch, Ruby? I have hamburgers in the freezer or I could make you spaghetti. There is roast beef for sandwiches, but I don’t think many children like roast beef. Pizza sounds good, no? Pudge, we have everything. Make us a pizza.”

  An hour later a pizza was made and consumed and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies sat on the stove cooling. Carmina and Ruby talked the whole time about everything and nothing while Belinda sat there and watched the two interact. They seemed to be enjoying each other and Belinda was glad for that, but she felt a little left out. Her mother who had endless words barely had any for her today.

  Carmina was upset with her.

  “Ruby,” Carmina purred in her lispy accent. “Go upstairs and wash up. Belinda’s room is up there, too. I haven’t changed it since she was a little girl. See if there is anything you would like to play with.”

  Ruby looked to Belinda. “Is it okay?”

  “Why are you asking her? I’m her mother. Of course it’s okay, gordita linda. Go.”

  Gordita linda. It meant “pretty little fat girl” in Spanish. Belinda cringed. Even though it was a term of endearment, she didn’t like it.

  “Mamá?” she started softly. “I know you don’t mean anything by it, but would you mind not calling Ruby that. I don’t want her to be sensitive about her weight. A boy at school has already teased her about it.”

  Carmina waved her hand dismissively. “I’m not teasing her. She is a beautiful chubby baby. And that fluff will melt off her. I can tell. She’s not like you. You were never able to slim down.”

  “Is there anything wrong with me not slimming down?” she asked, fed up with the little pokes at her weight. “Do you wish I had?” She shook her head. “You don’t have to answer that. I already know. You can’t stand to have a short, dumpy, funny-looking daughter. You never could.”

  “You’ve got it wrong,” she snapped. “What I cannot stand is to have a child who lies to me.”

  “Lies to you? I never lied to you.”

  “Keeping Carter away from us wasn’t a lie? Being married for four years
and not saying a word about it is not lying to us? And even when he comes here and comes back into your life you still don’t say anything to me about him. I had to invite him out just to get to know him.”

  “You could have asked me about him. But you never did. Even when I came home devastated you never said a word. I thought you didn’t want to know.”

  “I didn’t say anything because I wanted to keep the peace. I wanted to keep you here with your family. You have always been running from us.”

  “That’s because it was damn hard to grow up with you. They tortured me in school before we moved here and you had no idea. They called me rat face, and Shamu. They said I was adopted, that you found me in a Dumpster, that I couldn’t be your kid. That Bill Gordon and Carmina Del Torro couldn’t possibly make such an ugly kid. You had no idea what that was like. You had no idea what it was like in high school when boys were telling me that they’d rather have sex with my mother than me. And I could never talk to you about it. You didn’t understand. You’ll never understand not being perfectly beautiful. You want to know why I left? Because I couldn’t find my own identity until I got away from yours.”

  “You should have told me. You should have talked to me! I would have understood and even if I didn’t, I would have tried, but you never talk to me. You always treat me like I’m some kind of idiot. Everybody treats me like I’m some kind of idiot. But I’m done trying to keep the peace. You want to know what I think about you and Carter? You broke my heart when you ran off and got married and didn’t tell me. But that’s not what bothers me. You should have stayed with your husband. Marriage is forever. You think things were easy for your father and me? With him traveling half your life and me working and raising you alone? But we stuck together because those vows are sacred and if you weren’t going to take them seriously you should have never said them in the first place.”

  “You think I didn’t take my vows seriously?”

  “No. If you did you would have not hidden him from us. I know you. You were expecting it to fall apart then and you are doing the same thing now. You didn’t even tell me you were back together. I had to get to know your husband without you.”

  “We just got back together. You have no idea—”

  “He’s a good man and he loves his little girl and he loves you and you should have given your marriage a chance instead of running away. You should have given me a chance to be your mother instead of running away. Your life may not have turned out the way I dreamed but I still wanted to be a part of it, damn it. You owe me that.”

  “I don’t owe you anything.” She left the room, heading up the stairs to find Ruby, but she didn’t have to go far because the little girl was standing at the top of the stairs.

  “Were you yelling?”

  “Yes, baby.” She picked up the little girl and squeezed her, needing to take comfort from the child. “We yell in my family sometimes. Don’t be worried. We do have to go now. I have to go back to the store for a little while. Do you think you would like to help me at work for a few minutes?”

  Ruby nodded then pulled away slightly to touch Belinda’s cheek. “Does your tummy hurt? My tummy hurts when I get mad, too.”

  *

  Carter’s cell phone buzzed as soon as he stepped foot in his office. He had just come from a long meeting with a new client. They wanted to turn an eighteenth-century church into a home without taking away the building’s charm and they wanted his help to do it. Carter had never taken a job like that one, but he thought the idea of making something old new again was cool. Walking through the church, he could see the possibilities. His job sometimes mirrored his life. He was now walking around seeing the possibility in everything.

  He took the phone from his pocket to see that the call was coming from his house. He answered immediately.

  “It’s me, Daddy.”

  “Hi, you. How was school today?”

  “It was fine. Are you very busy right now?”

  “I just got back to my office.” He frowned at the tone of her voice. If he didn’t know any better he would say Ruby sounded worried. “What’s wrong?”

  “I think you should come home right now.”

  The hairs on the back of his neck stood straight. “What happened?”

  “Belinda is sad. You need to come home.”

  “Okay. I’ll be there.”

  When he walked in the house he found Ruby sitting by the door waiting for him, worry etched all over her face. He scooped her up and kissed her brow, not liking to see her this way. “Tell me what happened.”

  “I don’t know. We went to Mrs. Gordon’s house and Belinda made us pizza and then I went to play in her room and then I heard them yelling and then we went back to Belinda’s store and I helped her do her work, but then we came home and Belinda went to lay down in your room. She said I could lay with her, but I called you so you can lay with her. I think she’s very sad.”

  “Thank you for calling me, baby. That was a good thing. I’ll take care of this. You don’t have to worry.”

  He set Ruby on her feet and went to his bedroom. Belinda was lying on her side, her face to the wall, but he could tell just by the way she held herself so tightly that she was miserable. “Bell?”

  He kicked off his shoes and climbed on the bed, taking her in his arms.

  She turned into him and that’s when she broke. “It’s okay, sweetheart.” He didn’t bother asking her what was wrong. He just held her and murmured soft things in her ear until her tears subsided.

  “Thank you for coming,” she said.

  “Ruby called. You know I couldn’t say no.”

  “No. I mean thank you for coming to Durant. I don’t want this to fall apart. You know that, right? I’m going to try really hard to keep us together. When I married you I really did want this to be forever. I took our vows seriously. I never wanted us to fall apart. I’m not sure why I didn’t tell my parents about us. Maybe because I thought I wasn’t good enough. That I couldn’t measure up, but I know myself now. I like myself now and I like how I feel when I’m with you.”

  He shook his head, trying to absorb her frightened words. “I know that, Bell. We wouldn’t have lasted then. It was nobody’s fault. We needed this time apart. We’ll be better now.” He gathered her close and kissed her forehead. He believed that. If things didn’t work out this time, they never would. And he couldn’t see his life without her.

  CHAPTER 21

  I’ll always love my mama …

  Belinda stood at the jewelry counter of Size Me Up, watching Ellis as she straightened the same rack of dresses for the third time. She seemed in a daze, every few moments stopping to rub her belly. She wasn’t very far along in her pregnancy, but Belinda could see the change in her friend. She was slowing morphing into another person and it amazed her. She’d met Ellis as an awkward twelve-year-old girl. She had seen her go through horrible relationships. She was there with her when she opened this store and married the man of her dreams. And now she was watching her best friend become a mother.

  They had been through so much.

  “Hey, preggers.” She walked from behind the counter. “I didn’t think pregnancy brain took over this early. What are you thinking about?”

  She gave Belinda a soft smile. “Mike says I’ve lost my mind, but in a cute way. I’ve got baby on the brain. I read something that said my baby had webbed fingers and toes until the end of my second month! Can you believe that? It’s like I have a little alien growing inside me. I can’t stop looking up the stages of pregnancy. I have this crazy need to know what’s going on inside me at all times.”

  “I’m sure that’s normal. Are you scared that something might go wrong? I know I would be. Does it feel weird to have something growing inside you?”

  She found herself thinking about that lately, about what it meant to be a mother.

  “I am scared. I’m scared shitless. I know there are so many things that can go wrong. I don’t know my family history because I
was adopted. There are so many things I want to know but can’t ask my mother. I have contact info for my real mom, but I don’t want to talk to her. I’m so glad that she gave me to Walter and Philippa, but I’m mad at her, too. I feel my baby growing inside me and I can’t imagine giving it up. Now I just wonder after feeling life grow inside her, how she could give it up.” She rested her hand on her belly. “Ugh. Ignore me. I thought I was over the adopted-kid issues. Being pregnant just brought a whole bunch of shit up.” Her eyes grew misty. “Damn.” She swiped at her tears. “I’m a mushy emotional wreck. I hate it! This baby is turning me into a goober.”

  “I think it’s sweet.” Belinda hugged her. “It’s better than you being a raging bitch.”

  “I’m tired and hungry and horny all the time. And Mike loves it. He walks around all day with a goofy smile on his face as if to say I did that. I want to smack him.”

  “I’m happy for you, Ellie.” She was, and jealous of her, too. Ellis had done everything right. Belinda wondered if life could ever be that way for her.

  “Thank you.” She pulled away and looked at Belinda. “I’ve been so preoccupied with my stuff lately I don’t know how you’re handling yours. What’s going on with you?”

  “My mother and I got into a huge argument. We haven’t spoken since.” Belinda was too bothered by her mother’s accusations to call and apologize. And Carmina … she was just as stubborn as her daughter.

  Carmina never understood her. As mother and daughter they were almost mismatched.

  “About what? You and your mother never argue.”

  “A lot of things. Stuff that had just gone unsaid for too many years.”

  And Carter. But Belinda didn’t want to voice that, because a big part of her knew that her mother had a point. She had run from her marriage.

  “Hey, Bell. Hello, Ellis.” She looked up to see Carter walking in with Ruby. She may have run from her marriage, but it seemed like her marriage wasn’t going to let her get away.

  She looked at her husband and his daughter for a moment. Her little fingers were locked with his. The thing she loved most about Carter was that he loved his kid and wasn’t afraid to show it.