Blood Red Road

by Moira Young

  Then go, I says. I didn’t ask you to come after me. I can manage perfectly fine on my own. I don’t need yer help. Go on, git outta here.

  Ain’t you bin listenin? He grabs my arm. I cain’t!

  We glare at each other. The space between us feels heavy somehow. It presses aginst me, makes it hard to breathe. Finally I says, So, are you gonna take me to Freedom Fields or not?

  He runs a hand over his head. I must be crazy to even think about it, he mutters. Yes. I am. But first … I need to cool down.

  He pulls off his boots an yanks his shirt over his head.

  I stare at his chest. I cain’t seem to make my eyes move away. When I seen him without his shirt before, back at Hopetown, all I noticed was the scars. But now all I can see is how lean an strong he is. With wide shoulders an arms roped with muscle. He ain’t got no hair on his chest, not like Pa an Lugh. My fingers itch to touch it. Find out if his skin feels as smooth as it looks.

  Be careful, Angel, he says. When you stare at a man like that, he’s likely to git any number of … innerestin ideas.

  I don’t move.

  He reaches fer the fastenin of his britches. Raises one eyebrow. You got three seconds, he says, then they’re comin down. He starts to count. One … two …

  I turn an run.

  I can still hear him laughin when I’m halfways back to camp.

  Maev sits crosslegged on her cot in the bunkhouse, watchin me pack the gear she’s gived me. She tosses a pebble from one hand to th’other.

  Whaddya know about this Jack character anyways? she says. It don’t feel right, him showin up outta the blue like this.

  I know as much about him as I know about you, I says. Not much.

  She chews on her bottom lip. I don’t trust him, she says. D’you?

  He says he knows the way to Freedom Fields, I says. If I’m gonna find Lugh, I gotta trust him. Jest like I trusted you to help me git outta Hopetown. I didn’t know you but I …

  Took a leap of faith? says Maev.

  Yeah, I says, that’s it. A leap of faith. An you turned out okay.

  Yeah, well … Maev mutters. She don’t look at me when she says, I’d send a couple of Hawks with you, but I got a territory dispute with some chancers on the western road to sort out.

  I git the feelin she ain’t bein entirely truthful but I says, You don’t owe me nuthin.

  There’s jest … somethin about him, she frowns. He’s got secrets. An he’s, uh …

  Arrogant? I says.

  Oh yeah.

  Annoyin?

  Definitely.

  Slippery?

  As a snake, she says. She watches me fer a bit, then she seems to throw off whatever it is that’s botherin her. She gives me a sly little smile an says, He’s good lookin, I’ll say that much.

  Is he? I feel my cheeks go hot. I shrug, don’t look at her. Cain’t say I noticed, I says.

  He’s got nice eyes.

  Too close together.

  Nice smile.

  Too many teeth, I says. Anyways, he ain’t my type.

  She throws the pebble at me, laughin. Yer type! Don’t you kid yerself, he’s jest yer type. The trouble type, that is.

  I already got enough trouble with findin Lugh, I says. I don’t need no more.

  You sure of that? she says. You look a bit … warm whenever he’s around.

  It’s ever since that damn fire, I mutter. All that heat must of got in my blood or somethin.

  Or somethin, she says.

  I finish packin. I tighten the drawstring of my pack. Thanks fer keepin Emmi, I says. Lugh an me’ll come back fer her soon as we can. Maev?

  Uh huh?

  If … if anythin was to happen … if fer some reason I don’t come back—

  Oh no, Saba, don’t—

  If anythin happens to me, promise you’ll take care of Emmi. Raise her up proper. Please. I gotta know she’ll be okay.

  Maev looks at me a long moment. Then, All right, she says. I promise.

  Thanks, I says. She don’t like to wash. Make sure she does. I heave my pack over my shoulder. Better go load the horses, I says.

  She touches my arm, stops me as I pass. Listen, she says, if you ever git the itch to join up with a bunch of thieves an no-goods, we’d be glad to see you back here any time. You’d make a damn fine Free Hawk.

  Jack slings saddlebags over his horse’s back. On his way outta Hopetown, he managed to steal hisself a big white stallion—he calls him Ajax—that turns out to have a bad temper an a bite to go with it.

  He looks over to where Emmi’s drawin circles with a stick in the dirt. Her head droops down like a wilted wildflower. Are you really gonna leave her behind? he says.

  Of course, I says. I slip the nettlecord bridle over Hermes’ head, fix the bit in his mouth. She’s jest a child. It’s too dangerous. Anyways, she’d only slow us down.

  Jack knows why I gotta git to Freedom Fields before midsummer eve, how important it is. Last night I told him everythin I know, everythin that Helen told me before she died. He listened but didn’t say nuthin, jest grunted a couple of times.

  Lugh ain’t jest yer brother, he’s Emmi’s too, he says. Don’t you think she’s got as much right to go as you?

  No I don’t, I snap. An mind yer own business. Maev said she’d look after her an that’s the way it’s gonna be.

  If you say so.

  I do.

  Jack sticks his fingers in his mouth an whistles. Emmi’s head shoots up. He motions her over an she comes runnin.

  Yer sister don’t want you to come with us, he says. She says you’ll slow us down.

  Jack! I says.

  I wouldn’t slow you down! says Emmi. I’m a good rider. I rode on Nudd all the way from Mercy’s all by myself an then I rode him all the way across the desert to find Saba. We nearly skeered her to death.

  Is that right? Jack lifts a eyebrow at me.

  It ain’t jest that, I says to Emmi. Things could git dangerous. I don’t want nuthin to happen to you.

  I can take care of myself, says Emmi. I can fight.

  No you cain’t, I says.

  Can too!

  Here. Jack unhooks his slingshot from his belt. See that shimmy? He points at one of the shimmer discs the Hawks got hangin from a tree to keep the rooks from roostin. Let’s see if you can hit it right in the middle.

  C’mon, Jack, I says, this is a complete waste of time. She ain’t never shot nuthin in her life.

  Ignore her, he says to Em. He hands her his shooter. You give it a try.

  It’s okay. Emmi untucks a slingshot from the back of her britches. I got my own.

  Since when did you carry a shooter around? I says. Hey, wait a minute … that’s mine.

  No it ain’t, says Em. It belongs to Lugh.

  All right. But I thought the Pinches bartered all our gear at Hopetown.

  They didn’t take this, says Em. I snuck it when they warn’t lookin an kept it in my secret hidin place. I’m keepin it fer Lugh. I’m gonna give it to him when I see him.

  Well, if that ain’t a nice sisterly thing to do, says Jack. That’s real thoughtful of you, Emmi. Now, go on. Let’s see you try an hit that target.

  She lifts the slingshot, aims an shoots. She hits the shimmy dead center.

  She beams.

  I don’t believe it. Em lined that shot up an took it like she’s bin shootin every day of her life.

  She’s got a good eye, Jack says to me. Close yer mouth, you’ll catch flies.

  Where’d you learn to do that? I says.

  She shrugs. I watched you an Lugh. Then I practiced an practiced till I got it right.

  I didn’t know that, I says. Why didn’t you tell me?

  You never liked it when I talked to you, she says. You always told me to shut up an go away.

  I never! I says. But I feel my cheeks go all hot because we both know it’s true. It sounds so awful when she says it like that, that I never had no time fer her, but she’s right. I didn’t. Not when
I had Lugh. When we’re together he’s all I need. An that’s bin the way of it since the day we was born.

  So let’s see, says Jack, she can ride, she can shoot an she’s got guts. Did I leave anythin out?

  What you left out is, she’s nine year old, I says.

  He’s my brother jest the same as he is yers, says Emmi.

  Good point, says Jack. An she was sisterly enough to save his slingshot.

  They look at me.

  No, I says, glarin at ’em. No, no, no!

  They don’t say nuthin. Jest keep lookin at me.

  Don’t look at me like that! I sigh. Aw hell. All right, you can come. But you gotta do what I say an you better not gimme cause to regret this cuz if you do, Emmi, there’ll be trouble an no mistake.

  I’m talkin to myself. The second she hears the word “come,” Emmi starts whoopin an her an Jack’s shakin hands an then she’s huggin me an lookin at me with shinin eyes. I ain’t never seen her so happy an excited.

  I won’t let you down! She skips an jumps her way to the bunkhouse, callin as she goes, Epona! Hey Epona! Guess what?

  I point at Jack. If anythin happens to her, I says, I’ll know who to blame.

  He grabs my hand. His eyes is hard as stone, cold as a gray winter sky. His hand’s warm. His skin’s rough. A tingle runs up my arm. You don’t fool me, he says.

  Is that right?

  Yeah, he says. I see it in yer eyes. All you care about’s yer precious brother.

  That ain’t true, I says.

  If it’d bin Emmi they took, he says, Emmi an not Lugh … would you of gone after her?

  I take in a breath to say of course I would but the look on his face stops me. There ain’t no point in lyin when he already knows the truth.

  He leaves go of me an steps back. I thought so, he says. Yer sister’ll be safer with me than she could ever be with you. You jest ride along on yer high horse an leave her to me.

  Gimme yer hand. Maev says it in a low voice, so’s nobody else can hear. She slips a gold ring onto the middle finger of my right hand. If you ever need me, she says, if you need the Hawks, send Nero with this an we’ll come. Wherever, whenever … you send this ring an we’ll be there.

  She steps back.

  My heart swells in my chest. From Hermes’ back, I look down. She smiles at me.

  You got us outta Hopetown, I says. Saved our lives. You gave us clothes an food an horses … the chance to find Lugh. I … we owe you so much, I don’t see how I can ever repay you, but once we—

  Friends don’t owe, she says. Friends don’t repay. Go well. I hope you find yer brother.

  G’bye! Emmi leans down an hugs Epona around the neck.

  You do what Saba an Jack tell you, says Epona.

  Keep ’em safe, Jack, says Maev. If you don’t, we’ll hunt you to the ends of the earth. An when we find you, we’ll rip out yer guts an feed ’em to the jackals while you watch.

  I’ll bear that in mind, says Jack.

  Nero circles above. He caws, impatient to git goin. I look up. Time to go, I says. I click my tongue at Hermes an we start to move out. Jack leadin the way on Ajax, Emmi in the middle on a pony called Joy, an me bringin up the rear, with our packs an saddlebags an waterskins filled thanks to the Free Hawks.

  They’re all gathered to see us off. Now they start shoutin. G’bye, good luck, don’t ferget about us, see you soon, an all that kinda thing.

  I take one last look. At Ash, Epona an the rest, smilin an wavin.

  But not Maev. Not smilin. Not wavin. Jest standin there.

  Lookin like she don’t especk to ever see us agin.

  THE BLACK

  MOUNTAINS

  WE BIN TRAVELIN ALL DAY. I HAFTA GIVE IT TO JACK, HE sets a good pace. Fast enough fer my hands not to git itchy on the reins but not so fast that Emmi cain’t keep up on her pony.

  Jack says we’re still in the foothills of the Black Mountains. Says we won’t reach the mountains proper fer a couple of days yet. We climb steadily, windin our way through forests of evergreens an across dry open valleys covered with scrub.

  Nero’s pleased to have me back after being apart fer so long while we was in Hopetown. I feel the same. Mainly he’s happy to jest ride on my shoulder, makin conversation an remarkin on the scenery as we go along. From time to time he’ll disappear fer a bit on some crow business.

  He’s bin missin since mid-afternoon an I’m jest startin to wonder where he’s got to when he appears outta nowhere. But instead of comin to me, he flutters down to land on Jack’s head. Then he leans over an starts to nibble lovinly on his ear.

  I cain’t believe my eyes.

  Nero! I yell. Leave Jack alone!

  He shoots over to me so fast he’s jest a blur. Lands on my shoulder an hunches there, not lookin at me. I never knew a crow could look guilty, but he does all right.

  Jack looks back an smiles. Don’t call him off on my account, he says.

  Bloody Jack. What is it with him? What is it about him that he seems to charm everybody an everythin that crosses his path? Ash an pretty well every other Free Hawk, my sister an now my damn crow. I swear, if there was a rock in his path that he couldn’t be bothered steppin over, all he’d hafta do was give it one look an it’d roll outta the way.

  Not me though. I don’t roll outta the way fer nobody. Not even him. Especially not fer him.

  As dusk starts to fall, we sets up camp in a stand of pine beside a little trickle of a creek. The layers of dead needles feel soft an springy unner my feet. The sharp sweetness of warm pine fills the air.

  Jack closes his eyes an takes in a deep breath.

  We’ll have sweet-smellin beds tonight, Emmi, he says.

  I’m gonna make ’em real good, Jack, she says. You see if I don’t.

  I collect wood an git a fire goin while Jack sorts out the rest of our gear. Emmi bustles around, unloadin the bedrolls from the horses an settin ’em out beside each other. She chats away to herself an I let it roll over me, like usual.

  I’ll sleep here, she says. An Jack’ll be … here … an then Saba can go … here. Right between me an Jack.

  My head shoots up. What? I says. Oh no! I go over an grab my bedroll. You go in between Jack an me. That ’ud be better, don’t you think? That way, uh … you can talk to both of us. How about that?

  But Jack put me in charge! Emmi puts her hands on her hips. He unloads the horses, you do the fire an I set out the bedrolls! Ain’t that right, Jack?

  I thought it was, says Jack. But I guess yer sister don’t think yer up to the job, Emmi.

  They both look at me. Emmi’s got her face all scrinched tight. She does that when she’s upset an tryin not to let her chin wobble. Jack’s face is blank, like he don’t give a hoot one way or th’other. I don’t trust him fer a second. He knows I don’t wanna lie next to him, but I cain’t tell Em that. As far as she’s concerned, I’m jest bein mean to her like usual an not givin her a chance. He’s got me this time.

  That ain’t true, I says. I hand my bedroll back to Em. Sorry, Em. Of course it’s yer job. I’ll leave it to you.

  While she’s busy puttin her arrangements to rights agin, I go over to where Jack’s unloadin Ajax an Hermes.

  I know what yer up to, I says. An it ain’t gonna work.

  Is that right? He don’t look at me, but keeps on pilin the saddlebags an other gear. Fer future reference, he says, I’d be grateful if you’d tell me what it is I’m supposed to be up to that ain’t gonna work. That way I won’t bother gittin up to it agin.

  I frown. There you go agin, doin that eel thing, I says. What yer up to, Jack, is … is tryin to make me look like a fool all the time!

  Oh, is that what I’m up to?

  You know damn well it is!

  Then I apologize, he says. Most sincerely.

  He smiles. A pleasant smile. Not cocky or arrogant. I dunno what to make of it.

  Well …, I says, all right then. Jest mind you don’t do it agin.

  I promise, he sa
ys, the next time you look like a fool, it’ll be all yer own doin. He winks at me as he picks up the saddlebags. Fire needs tendin, he says.

  I stand there fer a moment. He jest got me agin, the bastard.

  But I feel a little smile sneak over my face.

  Night, Saba, says Emmi. Night, Jack.

  She rolls over onto her side, facin away from me, an soon she’s fast to sleep. Nero’s set on his roost in a tree nearby.

  I stare at the night sky. It’s high an light an clouds scud across the face of the moon. I clutch my blanket around me tight, lie stiff as a board. I’m so aware of Jack lyin next to me. The warmth of him, the sound of his breathin, the slight rise an fall of his chest I can see outta the corner of my eye.

  There’s a rustle as he moves. I look an he’s facin me, propped up on one elbow. The dyin fire catches on his cheekbones, shadows his eyes. My stummick jumps. Shivers. I look away.

  He reaches out an touches the heartstone, lyin in the hollow of my neck. Draws his hand away quick.

  It’s hot, he says.

  I know, I says. I pull it over my head an shove it down in my bedroll. Stupid thing, I says. Dunno why I wear it.

  After a bit he says, Tell me about yer brother.

  We’re twins, I says.

  Ah, he says. I figgered he must be somethin special fer you to go through so much to find him. What’s he like?

  I think. It’s always the same when somebody asks me about Lugh. Mercy, Helen, Maev … even Emmi. I wanna talk about him an at the same time I don’t. I feel like, if I do talk about him I’m givin away little bits of him that I wanna keep to myself.

  Our ma died birthin Emmi, I says. An after that, Pa … well, he warn’t ever the same. He didn’t seem to care about nuthin no more. Not us or … not anythin … not really. If it hadn’t of bin fer Lugh keepin food on the table an a roof over our heads, I believe we would of all died. Lugh an me was only nine year when Ma died, same as Emmi is now. So he ain’t afeared of takin things on. Never has bin.

  But what’s he like? says Jack.

  He’s … well, he’s funny, I says, an kind an … he’s real smart. I guess he paid attention to what Pa told him. Not like me. He knows … everythin. He can fix anythin, he knows the land an creatures an … me. He’s th’only person in the world who really knows me.