Lamb to the Slaughter

by Karen Ann Hopkins

  But, damn, to get mixed up in all the backward thinking, back stabbing and drama of the Amish people again was the real issue here. Was a woman worth it? Normally, I would have said, hell no, but glancing at Serenity’s anxious face, I wavered. Maybe, just maybe, she was worth it.

  As scary as it would be to see everybody again, it would be nice to check in with my brothers and sisters and their children. Father and Mother would probably still not welcome me to their table, but they were getting on in age. Perhaps their anger had cooled some in all these years. I wouldn’t be alone either. I’d have tough little Serenity at my side. I pondered, weighing the pros and cons in my head, quickly.

  When I looked up, Serenity must have read my mind before I spoke. She suddenly had a very pleased look on her face.

  “Sure. But, on two conditions,” I said, not able to keep from smiling as Serenity’s happy expression changed to one of dread.

  “What conditions?” she nearly growled.

  “That you let me do the talking…and you accompany me to the Amish School House dinner tomorrow evening. It would be the perfect place for you to immerse yourself in the Amish world and get a good dinner to boot.”

  Serenity was thinking it over as if it was a trick. She looked at Todd for encouragement. I felt the prick of jealousy as her eyes sought the other man’s, but I was fairly certain that there wasn’t anything going on between them. Todd was definitely not Serenity’s type.

  Todd said, “They have a benefit dinner twice a year, in the spring and fall. I saw the banner advertising it this weekend on the corner of the road that the school’s on. The entire community will probably be there.”

  Serenity turned back to me and narrowed her eyes a fraction when she said, “I’ll go with you tomorrow to the dinner. And, I’ll let you do most of the talking. But I’m not guaranteeing that I won’t say something if it needs to be said.”

  That was probably the best I was going to get out of her.

  The shiver of anticipation crawled up my back as I said, “Then we have a deal.”

  6

  NAOMI

  August 28th

  Naomi knew she’d stayed in the truck too long already when she gripped the door handle, but she was still reluctant to leave Will behind.

  “Will you come with us, Naomi? If you’re worried about getting away from your house, just tell your folks that you’re staying with that one friend of yours that you trust.”

  Will’s voice held a hint of pleading that sent a shiver of delight through her. Spending just a few minutes alone with him each afternoon was not near enough for her. Naomi’s lips wanted nothing more than to feel the press of the English boy’s mouth on hers. That would never happen though if she didn’t do something to make it possible. But, the thought of lying to Mother and Father about spending the evening with Sandra, and attempting to sneak away with Will and his sister to go to the Fair was beyond frightening. If she got caught, Mamma would have the belt on her bare butt for sure. And that wouldn’t even be the worst of it.

  “I’ll see what I can do, but I’m not making any promises. You just don’t understand all that I’m risking if I do what you ask.” Seeing his look of disappointment, she added quickly, “But, I really do want to go. We’ll see what I can work out.”

  Naomi put on her most pouty, sad face. Will couldn’t help but smile warmly at her. “Don’t worry. If it doesn’t happen, there’ll be another time.”

  “Promise?” she said softly.

  “Yeah, I promise.” Will didn’t take his eyes off of her, causing the heat to spread onto her cheeks. She slid from the truck and without looking back she hurried up the walkway to the house.

  Naomi could still hear the rumble of the diesel engine when she went through the doorway. She was immediately struck with the broom across the back of her legs.

  “Owww! What was that for?” she shrieked at Mamma who had the broom ready for a second blow.

  “What are you up to, staying in the truck all that time? Have you been batting your big eyes at the English driver? Have you?” Mamma’s voice was ragged and crazed, so different from the relatively good mood that she’d been in that morning when Naomi left for work. Of course, Mamma’s moods could swing wildly in a few minutes, let alone a long day, Naomi knew.

  “Mamma, I promise I wasn’t doing a bad thing. Mr. Johnson was just asking about our goat kids and if any of them are for sale. He wants to buy one for his little sister for her birthday.” Naomi didn’t know where the words came from, but they flowed from her mouth as if someone was whispering them into her ear.

  Mamma’s wrathful face calmed a bit. She lowered the broom to the floor. Naomi was still ready to bolt, her weight on the balls of her feet.

  “I see,” she said. Her eyes narrowed and she pointed a chubby finger at her daughter. “You best be watching what you do, Naomi Mae Beiler. I will not have you flirting with any outsiders. You have a fine young man interested in you. Better be careful not to do anything to mess it up.”

  “Jah, Mamma, I know how fine Eli is. I love him more than anything. I wouldn’t be making eyes at a stupid English boy. I wouldn’t.” Naomi hoped Mamma believed her.

  Mamma’s face hardened and her emotions swung angry again. “I’ve been meaning to have a talk with you about Eli anyhow. Now is as good a time as any. Especially, since he’s fixing to come over for dinner tonight.”

  Her words shocked Naomi. She’d completely forgotten that Eli was visiting that evening. She was immediately torn from feeling excitement to see him, to major guilt at the way she’d been acting with Will.

  Naomi wanted to get the conversation over with. She needed to wash the sweat and grime from the butcher’s shop off of her before Eli arrived. Carefully, she said, “What about?”

  Mamma breathed out uncomfortably before pulling a chair away from the table and sitting her plump backside onto it.

  “I’m giving you a warning young Naomi that you would heed if you had any sense in that stubborn brain of yours. Don’t be sneaking off with Eli to be touching each other, and worse. You already know that our community has the rule of hands-off courting, but I’m not a dolt. I know what goes on behind the barns and in the sheds. I was young and pretty like you once and I remember those days. And how I didn’t heed my mamma’s advice and ended up pregnant by your father when I was a year younger than you are now. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I don’t love your father, but back in those days I was trapped, with only one thing to do. What little choices I had in life were taken from me in a flash. You don’t want to end up like that. Trust me, you don’t.”

  With that, Mamma rose and crossed the kitchen floor to descend into the basement without another word or glance at Naomi. It was probably the most that Mamma had ever said to her oldest child at one time. Naomi was at a loss about what to think. Mamma had been pregnant when she’d married Dat? That was news to Naomi. She could hardly even imagine the uptight, crazy woman ever being a teenager, let alone playing with Dat and getting her belly full of a child. Naomi reasoned that she and Eli were more careful than that.

  The disgusting thoughts made her feel even more unclean, and she pushed them from her mind. She didn’t have much time if she was going to bathe before Eli arrived. As Naomi jogged up the steps, her thoughts wandered back to Will. She began thinking again about what it would be like to kiss him.

  7

  SERENITY

  November 11th

  As I approached the barn-like school house that was surrounded by a mix of Amish people and non-Amish ones, I felt a sudden wave of nervousness. I’d already been dealing with a fit of embarrassing shyness ever since Daniel had picked me up in his hard bodied Jeep and told me how nice I looked. What did he mean? Normally, such a compliment could be taken at face value, but with the former Amish man things weren’t so clear. I could admit that I probably did look pretty good. I was wearing hipster denim jeans with a wide belt and a fitted, black leather jacket. I’d taken Todd’s advic
e and left my hair down, although I’d never tell him that. My long, blond layers were now billowing around my face in the cool wind. With annoyance, I brushed the hair back so I could see where I was going. I wished that I’d worn a pony-tail, but there was no way that I was pulling it up now. The way Daniel’s eyes kept straying to my locks said he approved. Having the gorgeous guy at my side finding something other than my clothing attractive was a definite goal, even though I could have slapped myself for thinking so.

  Daniel’s side brushed against me and he bent down to whisper loudly, “Remember what we talked about in the Jeep. You’re my girlfriend. We’ve just started dating, and if anyone brings up the investigation, tell them it’s closed for all intents and purposes.” He grasped my hand and pulled me to a stop. I couldn’t help but look up in annoyance. “Don’t go asking any questions tonight. Let me do the talking for the most part… okay?”

  All kinds of doubts swirled in my head. The whole thing seemed so damned unprofessional. Is this really what a woman in small town rural America needed to do to get information for a possible murder investigation? What would happen to my reputation if it ever leaked out that I’d masqueraded as Daniel’s girlfriend to infiltrate the Amish community? I had a bad feeling about it. Unfortunately having my hand held snuggly in Daniel’s large, warm one felt nice enough to allow me to push the rational thoughts away. Still, as good as it felt, I looked down at our hands and back up at him questioningly.

  “It’s all part of the act, Serenity. Englishers hold hands when they’re dating—no way around it.” Daniel smiled, and it nearly took my breath away. Was he that good of an actor, or was he enjoying the charade as much as I secretly was?

  We walked toward the crowd in the buttery light of the evening, hand in hand. I tried to remember when the last time was that I’d held a guy’s hand. It had been a long while, that’s for sure.

  Feeling comfortable enough with Daniel to confide my biggest fear of the night, I slowed his forward momentum with a tug, and said, “I don’t believe the bishop will buy any of this. He’s way too sharp.”

  “You’d be surprised what they’ll believe, including Bishop Esch. We’re an attractive couple, just a man and a woman tonight. That’s what they’ll see and it will make perfect sense to them.”

  He sounded awfully sure of himself. I let go of the doubts and shifted my focus to the Amish people around me. Immediately upon entering the throng of people, all eyes were on us. Most of those eyes widened first with recognition of Daniel. Then they settled on me. So far, I hadn’t seen any of the Amish I recognized. I relaxed even further, allowing Daniel to be my guide through the mass of caps and beards.

  “Why, Daniel Bachman, it’s been a long time since I saw you last. How are you doing?” An Amish man stopped in front of us, grinning broadly. He had friendly blue eyes and a golden brown beard. His hand shot forward enthusiastically as he squeezed Daniel’s shoulder with his other hand at the same time.

  I could feel Daniel almost pull back in surprise before he let go of me and reached for the other man’s grasp. Daniel’s face beamed. I could almost touch the joy that emitted from him. Suddenly, I realized that Daniel must have been a nervous wreck himself about this encounter with his people. He hadn’t known what to expect after all these years away. Obviously from his huge smile, he was quite satisfied with his reception from this man.

  I tried to step back and let him have his moment. Before I could, he reached over and grabbed my hand, pulling me tightly into his side.

  “This is Serenity, my girlfriend. Serenity, this is one of my oldest friends, Lester Lapp. Lester and I used to spend whatever time we weren’t doing farm work in each other’s company, getting into all sorts of trouble.”

  Daniel continued to hold me close to his side. I was amazed that it didn’t feel as weird as it should have. I continued to play the loving girlfriend, leaning into him and slipping my hand around his waist. I enjoyed the quick glance he gave me, accompanied by a slight smile and eye brow lift. I would show him that I could act just as well as he could.

  Lester laughed heartily at Daniel’s words, saying, “That is so, my friend.” His eyes fixed on me and he asked Daniel, “How long have the two of you been courting?”

  Daniel said smoothly, “We just recently found each other, but we’ve been inseparable since.” He punctuated his statement with a tighter hold on me.

  Then Lester became distracted, calling over to a group of teenage boys who were leaning up against the side of the building. Lester was speaking in Pennsylvania Dutch, so I didn’t know what he was saying, but when a boy limped over, I guessed that this was one of his children. The boy was probably fifteen or sixteen and he wore a short sleeved blue dress shirt with black suspenders. The black felt hat on his head added to the picture of a boy plucked from the nineteenth century. I couldn’t help but think how odd it was to see a teenager who should have been in jeans and a t-shirt dressed so.

  Lester said, “Daniel, this is my second oldest son, Mervin. He reminds me a bit of you in his personality.”

  Daniel shook the boy’s hand heartily and said, “Surely he’s not that much trouble. Or, is it that he likes to be out in the woods turkey hunting whenever the chance arises?”

  Lester’s demeanor changed, becoming more reserved as he looked at Mervin. He patted his son’s shoulder. “I reckon that may be it, but he also enjoys singing the hymns on Sunday mornings, same as you did.”

  Mervin spoke to his father in the foreign language and his father nodded his head. As he walked away, I noticed the limp again. Without thinking, I asked, “Did he have an accident?”

  Just as Lester was opening his mouth, an Amish woman with a stern face and sharp green eyes stepped up beside Lester, and said, “Why, yes he did. Just the other day a horse threw him off. The poor boy is still sore from it.”

  Without touching the woman, Lester introduced her to us as his wife, Ester. Although Daniel must have known the woman, he was careful not to offer a handshake. I made a mental note of how much more reserved Daniel was toward his friend’s wife than he’d been with Lester.

  Ester forced a smile that I could read immediately as fake. She tilted her head at me and said, “You look familiar. Have we met before?”

  I was at a loss for a second. Daniel’s fingers pressing into my side told me that he was about to say something when Bishop Esch appeared out of nowhere. My heart thumped madly at the sight of the man. Did he have a Serenity homing device built into his old body?

  “You probably saw Serenity at Naomi’s funeral, Ester. She’s our county Sheriff. Although I must admit, without her uniform, she looks much different,” the bishop said. He immediately dismissed me and turned to Daniel, offering his hand to my fake boyfriend.

  Daniel let go of me again to grasp the bishop’s hand for a shorter time than he had Lester’s. He greeted the man with less enthusiasm, but still with a feel of genuine friendliness.

  “Why, it’s a surprise to see you here, Daniel, and with the sheriff on your arm. But a welcome one at that,” Bishop Esch said.

  “Didn’t you know that we were dating?” Daniel asked innocently.

  “No. That information did not come up in our previous discussions. How did the two of you meet?” the bishop glanced between us.

  Maybe the nerves of having the bishop show up out of nowhere had gotten to me. After a pause, I began to open my mouth to answer him with some made up nonsense when Daniel beat me to the punch.

  “We met in church, Aaron. Although, I must admit that I’m still searching for the spiritual experience that feels right to me. I never thought I’d say this, but I do miss a Plain church service.”

  Bishop Esch’s eyebrows raised and he leaned in closer to Daniel. “Do you miss our ways as well?” he asked with quiet directness that made me look up at Daniel. I waited for his answer with the same intensity that the bishop held.

  What Daniel said made me suck in a breath and my own words of denial. Was Daniel still pl
aying the game, or was there some truth in his crazy words?

  “Actually, Aaron, I’ve been thinking strongly about the possibility of coming back to the Plain people.”

  This had not been discussed in the Jeep. I clenched my teeth together at how out of hand the fiasco had become. But then a flicker of dread slowed my heart. Maybe Daniel was thinking about converting back.

  While I was staring at Daniel’s face, trying to read his words as a lie or the desires of his heart, I felt the bishop’s gaze on me.

  “Oh, my, from my impression of how seriously Ms. Adams takes her very important job, I can’t see her fitting into your plans,” Aaron Esch said smoothly.

  He knew I was an imposter.

  I didn’t want to mess up whatever the hell Daniel was up to. I played along, telling myself in the far recesses of my brain, that it would all be okay in the end—and maybe I’d find out what really happened to Naomi Beiler.

  “The job is pretty stressful, Mr. Esch. If I do get married someday and have children, I can’t foresee myself being able to keep up with it,” I lied.

  The bishop rubbed his beard thoughtfully. Lester clasped Daniel’s shoulder again and said, “Daniel, it would be good to have you back, my friend.”

  After the insane encounter with the Lapps and the bishop, Daniel and I spent nearly an hour reaching the food line for all the people that came up and greeted Daniel with smiles and handshakes. The Amish people were treating Daniel with genuine warmth, as if he was already one of them again. It was obvious that before whatever happened to run him off from the Amish way of life, he was quite popular with both people from his own age group all the way up to ancient ones remembering him. Many of the non-Amish people knew Daniel too. I was beginning to feel that I was on the arm of a celebrity.