Lamb to the Slaughter

by Karen Ann Hopkins

  I paused to see that she was staring at me intently before I turned away and looked through the window into the darkness outside, the scene from my childhood vividly before me.

  “It was after dark and I was in bed about to fall asleep, when I heard the clops of the hooves on the driveway. I remember climbing from the bed to search out the window. When I saw three buggies pulling right up to the house, I became alarmed and went to my brothers’ beds to tell them what I’d seen. My brothers were already gone. I found the three of them in differing positions of kneeling on the steps, their heads all turned in the direction of the kitchen, listening. I tiptoed past them down the steps, not really trying to sneak by, but it didn’t matter anyway. They were so caught up with their own eavesdropping that they didn’t even notice me.

  “When I reached the kitchen, I hung back, just inside the doorway, peeking around the corner. Mother was sitting at the table, her hands tightly clenched while she stared up at the four men standing around the table. Father was there, along with Aaron Esch, and James Hooley. The other man was one of the ministers at the time, Abraham Yoder, and he’s since passed. I listened for a minute to their rushed words about a pickup truck and the covered bridge on Route 27. The words all blurred together to nonsense in my five year old mind. But, one thing that I understood, and always stayed with me, is the blood.”

  Serenity interrupted, her eyes round like saucers, “Blood?”

  “Yeah, blood. All four men had it smeared on their bare arms, where there shirts were rolled up. Aaron even had a scratch running down the length of his cheek. You can barely see the top of it still, if you look above his beard line. In those days, his beard wasn’t quite as bushy, and the scratch more visible.”

  “What happened?” Serenity moved even closer, her eyes still wide.

  “My mother looked up and saw me standing there in the shadow. She hushed the men loudly between clenched teeth. It took her a second to cross the kitchen and pick me up in her arms. With my trained little ears, I heard my brothers high tailing it up the steps ahead of us. By the time we reached the bedroom, my brothers were under their covers, feigning sleep. Mother tucked me in and kissed my nose. Before she left, she said loudly to the room, ‘You best be forgetting what you heard tonight, and never speak it aloud, if you know what’s good for your backsides.’ She didn’t have to worry about us saying a thing. My brothers understood more than I did, but we all knew that if we talked, we’d get Father into big trouble. We never spoke of it again. At least, I know this is the first time I’ve told anyone about it.”

  We sat silently for a minute, Serenity staring at the floor, and me staring at her. When she spoke, I was surprised.

  “Was Tony hanging around with your Father at that time?” Serenity asked.

  “I remember occasionally seeing Tony in the neighborhood when I was a kid. He worked at the stock yard in those days, before he became a cop, and then sheriff. But, he wasn’t in the kitchen that night, and I don’t remember him having anything at all to do with it.”

  “I didn’t mean that…exactly. I just wondered if maybe he’d heard about it from somebody.” Serenity was still deep in thought, her lips pursed and her eyes faraway.

  “I think the adults in that room didn’t speak about it to anyone. Any of the Amish who might have known about it would have kept silent, probably believing that whatever was done needed to be done.”

  “But Todd said your people were pacifists,” Serenity said.

  I laughed again, but not with as much vigor. Having Serenity beside me on the couch, looking all warm and sweet helped to keep my humor level in check.

  “They’re human too, don’t ever forget it. My own Father had a temper like a summer storm when he was angry. It’s just that we don’t fight in wars against people that we don’t personally have grievances with.”

  “Oh, that’s a whole ‘nother subject that we don’t have time to talk about,” Serenity said with a roll to her eyes.

  I took the words as the only chance I might get. Leaning in close enough to her to breathe in her spicy scent, I said, “Why, is there something else you’d rather be doing, Serenity?”

  I hoped that she understood the tone of my voice, but a part of me was worried silly that she’d jump off the couch and leave. Or, even worse, laugh at me.

  She didn’t do either of those things. Instead, she drifted closer and when her head tilted slightly, I pressed my lips against her plump ones. I couldn’t help the sigh that escaped me as her mouth parted and I covered hers with mine. The rush deep down was exactly what I expected I’d feel kissing the beautiful woman.

  Now that Serenity had loosened up, she slipped her arms around my neck, and I took it as the cue to pull her in tight against me. The electricity between us was tangible as our mouths began to work frantically against each other, our tongues wanting more.

  Serenity’s cell phone going off caused me to cuss, and I wasn’t ashamed for the word I’d used when Serenity pulled away and looked at the number.

  “Sorry, I have to take this,” she said breathlessly before standing and walking into the kitchen.

  When she returned, she had on the hard-faced expression of a sheriff again. I inwardly groaned at the progress we’d just lost.

  “I have to go. There was a car accident on Route 45. There’s a fatality, and I’m on call. So…I guess I’ll see you in the morning,” Serenity said as she reached for her leather jacket that was tossed over the back of the couch.

  I caught her hand before she touched the material and stood, pulling her up against my body. Dammit, I wasn’t going to let her escape without an acknowledgement that we’d shared a kiss. I began to lower my head, and could feel her sway slightly just before she shoved her hands into my chest and pushed away.

  “Really, I have to go.” She caught up her jacket and moved to the door quickly. “I’ll see you in the morning—unless your plans have changed?” she asked, with a conflicted look hovering across her face.

  “Nope, nothing’s changed. We’re still on for our search of Eli Bender,” I said, not even trying to hide the smirk on my face.

  Serenity nodded and plowed out the door like she was escaping a tornado.

  But, then again, from the feelings I’d experienced kissing her, maybe she was.

  14

  NAOMI

  September 25th

  Naomi sat at the picnic table cradling her head on her arms, and hoping that anyone looking out the butcher shop windows would believe that she was truly sick. She hadn’t felt guilty lying to Mr. Zook about having a belly ache. After all, he’d barely spoken to her since the announcement at church of her temporary shunning. She needed to be with Will—and this was the only way.

  When Naomi heard the rumble of the diesel engine, she smiled, feeling happier than she had in several days. She peeked over her elbow to confirm that it was Will, before she rose slowly, continuing the act and making her way to his truck.

  Will jumped out and ran to the passenger side, opening the door for her. He raised his hand to help her with the climb up, but she gave a sharp head shake, meeting his eyes for a second before she took the step in herself. The last thing that she needed was for one of the nosey girls to see Will touching her.

  It was a mile down the road before Naomi let out a whoop of joy. Will jumped at her sudden victory cry and then turned in understanding with a wide smile.

  “Have I just participated in the rescue of a damsel in distress?” Will asked, still grinning.

  “Yes, Will. You sure did. I’ve needed rescuing since last week.” She blushed at Will’s intense look and turned to watch the farms drift by. Autumn’s colors were beginning to sprinkle into the landscape. Naomi felt strengthened at the sight of the yellowing leaves. In her mind, the change of seasons meant that there were changes ahead in her life also. Even though there were so many obstacles in her way, Naomi still held out hope that she would be happy and free someday.

  “I knew something was up, the w
ay you ignored me all week, hardly speaking after I dropped the other girls off. I thought that you were mad at me,” Will said.

  “Mad at you? I could never be angry with you. I’ve been punished and I’ve had to be extra careful about everything I do.”

  “What are you in trouble for?” Will’s voice was full of concern, and she loved the sound of it.

  Naomi thought for a moment about lying, but decided that this was a good time to test whether she could talk to Will about anything—as she believed that she could.

  Staring ahead, she said, “One of the ministers caught me and Eli kissing out behind a shed after Sunday service. Eli begged for forgiveness and got two weeks of shunning. I was stupid, and argued, so I got four.”

  Naomi risked a glance back at him to see him lost in thought. But his face wasn’t angry.

  When he looked at her again, he sighed, “I wish it was me kissing you out behind a shed, instead of this Eli dude.”

  Naomi moved closer and without thinking, rested her hand on his thigh. “I do too. You have to believe me. I cared for Eli at first, before I met you, and then I was sort of pushed into this whole engagement thing—”

  “What! You’re engaged to the guy?” Will exclaimed. His eyes were bright and full of fire.

  Naomi shrugged, suddenly embarrassed. “We talked about it and he told his folks the news. It’s supposed to happen in the spring.”

  Will quietly brooded, while Naomi stared out the window. Rain clouds were moving in and the air felt heavy with dampness. The weather was beginning to fit her mood.

  When Will finally spoke, Naomi froze after so much silence. But her heart swelled at his tone, which was soft. How could he forgive her for being engaged to another man?

  “Where do you want to go?” he asked.

  Where? Naomi hadn’t even thought about it. Just driving around was fine for her, as long as she was away from the Amish people for a few hours.

  “I don’t know. Since Mamma is visiting one of her sisters today in the next county over, I wasn’t too worried about her finding out that I wasn’t home when I was supposed to be in bed sick.” Naomi looked back at him, wondering, “Where should we go?”

  Will eyed her, and then turned his gaze back to the roadway before he spoke. “Well, we shouldn’t go anywhere public that’s for sure. The last thing you need is another few weeks tacked on to your punishment.” He stalled, and then said tentatively, “We could go to my place. My parents are at work and Taylor is still in school. What do you think?”

  Naomi’s heart raced and she swallowed her anxiety down with a gulp. She would finally be alone with Will—what she’d dreamed about for weeks. Then why was she hesitating? Naomi almost asked Will to turn around and take her home, but when his eyes peeked over at her, shyly, she made up her mind.

  “That sounds fine. I want to see where you live.”

  There was a crackling, nervous energy in the cab as they made their way closer to his home and more than likely, a dramatic change in their relationship. They sat in relative silence until Will drove into a cluster of houses that were all big and fancy. Naomi sat up straighter, peering out the window with interest, momentarily forgetting the butterflies swirling around in her belly.

  “You live here?” she asked, noticing that the yards were all neat, the flower beds filled with mulch and lined with lights.

  “Yeah,” Will said as he pulled into the driveway of a house that looked like a small mansion to Naomi’s bulging eyes.

  For the first time with Will, Naomi was at a loss for words as she followed him into the garage and then the house. She barely noticed the shiny metal appliances in the kitchen as they passed through, or the childhood photos of Will and Taylor that lined the wall of the staircase that they climbed to the upstairs. It was just a fleeting wish in her mind as she glanced at a baby Will sitting on a furry rug smiling for the camera, that she had photos of herself when she was a baby. Being Amish, her family wasn’t allowed personal portraits, and she suddenly wished with a sharp pain that she knew what she’d looked like as a little girl.

  Will’s room was darkish, with the blinds almost completely down. Only a faint shimmer of light from the cloudy afternoon came through the slits. He sat on the bed watching Naomi’s every move as she wandered through his room, learning about his life.

  There was a computer on a small desk with a cluster of typed papers scattered to the side of it. Posters of large muscled horses and rodeo riders filled the walls, obscuring the wallpaper behind them. Two piles of clothes littered the floor, and Naomi instantly picked out the clean one from the dirty one.

  “What do you think?” Will asked her quietly.

  One last glance around and she breathed out, “It’s wonderful.”

  Will laughed, the sound strong and full of life. At that moment, Naomi knew that she loved him. She moved forward into his arms that were waiting for her. He pressed into her, his own head resting against her breasts, as they both sighed together.

  “I dream about you,” Will whispered.

  “I dream about you too,” Naomi said, a smile playing on her lips. She rubbed her face into his messy, yet sweet smelling hair.

  Will turned his head up, and he was about to say more, but she pressed her finger to his mouth. Naomi didn’t want to talk—or think. She just wanted to feel.

  She leaned down and touched his lips softly. Will’s hands came up and pulled her down to him. Soon enough, she was beneath him on the bed, his mouth traveling over her, his hands caressing her every inch.

  It felt so right, but then why did a small part of her not want to let go? Eli was pushed far back in her mind, but he was still there, and Naomi felt a spasm of fear about what she was doing, and the consequences that she might have to deal with later.

  Her mind became jumbled, until Will said, his face nuzzling her neck, “I love you, Naomi. I love you with all my heart.”

  Just as the gray clouds released a wave of raindrops that pounded the house with a thousand thumps, Naomi let go of her worries. Everything was all right now. She brought Will’s face to hers and looked into his eyes.

  “I love you too, Will.”

  15

  SERENITY

  November 15th

  “You sure are spending a lot of time with Daniel Bachman. Exactly, how deep is the man getting into…the investigation?” Todd wore the most obnoxious smirk I’d seen yet.

  I sighed in agitation, shaking my head. “Get your head out of the gutter. Daniel’s been very helpful with the case so far.” Looking up and seeing the same lopsided grin still stuck on his face, I added, “So, shut the hell up.”

  “Touché,” he said, rolling his chair further away from mine.

  “Can we get back to work, children?” Bobby said, with no hint of humor. I guess the old guy, well past ready for retirement, was growing tired of our banter.

  When Mayor Johnson entered the room, I heard the soft sound of Bobby’s growl. I looked smugly at the coroner, thinking it served him right for calling me a child.

  Before the mayor opened his mouth, I rose and said, “Good morning, Ed, what brings you by today?”

  The mayor’s words came out as quickly as his feet moved him around. Even though he was well on in years, he still had the nervous movements of parakeet trapped in a cage.

  “It would be a better morning if Bobby here, would get those damn reports to me quicker.” He turned and leveled his mustached frown at Bobby, before he settled his gaze on me, “And another matter—I’ve got calls coming into my office from as far away as Indianapolis about this Amish girl. I thought she was shot in a hunting accident?”

  “Bobby ruled the death was from a shot gun, but we’re still…” Ed’s hand shot up to silence me. Heat flooded my cheeks in annoyance with the impatient man.

  “Look, I understand things are pretty quiet around here most of the time, but there’s no need to go stirring up trouble where there isn’t any. If the Amish are happy to close the damn investigat
ion and label it a hunting accident, we should be too.” The mayor’s tone had changed during his speech to slow softness. He wasn’t even trying to cover up the pleading in his voice.

  Fire sparked inside of me. I couldn’t stop myself from blurting out, “Have you been talking to Tony?”

  Ed shuffled his feet and looked away for some seconds before he gathered the courage to face me again.

  “He came by my office earlier to bring it to my attention that you’ve been harassing the locals with this nonsense.” Before I had the chance to interrupt, he charged on, saying, “I understand your desire to follow all the rules on your first big case here in Blood Rock, but things are different in the country, Serenity. If something is as obvious as the nose on your face, you don’t have to look past it. The poor girl was accidently shot by a hunter—case closed. We don’t need to concern ourselves with the sordid details of her life within the Amish community.”

  Still fuming, I searched Bobby’s face. The irritation was written all over it, but unlike me, he’d learned to deal with the mayor by simply refusing to speak to the man.

  I drew in a deep breath and with a conscious effort to keep my voice level, I said, “I don’t see it that way. The fact that you’d be taking advice from the likes of Tony Manning, is, to put it mildly, frightening.”

  “For once, the man makes sense. Let’s get the case closed quickly,” Ed’s brown gaze locked on me and he said, “It’s the best thing for your career, Sheriff. Trust me on this one.”

  The mayor turned to leave the room, but before he crossed the threshold he glanced back at Bobby and barked, “I want those reports on my desk by tomorrow, Bobby.”

  “What a prick,” Todd mumbled.

  “That’s putting it mildly,” I said flopping down in the chair.

  Finally Bobby spoke. “Don’t pay him too much mind, Serenity. He’s all bark and little bite in the beginning. I guess you have another week, two tops, to come up with solid evidence that Naomi Beiler wasn’t a victim of an accidental shooting. After that, he’ll lean hard on you to close the case.”