Human Conditioning

by Hirst, Louise

  But she had a motive for asking about Grant. If the man knew Aiden as well as he had suggested, then maybe he could shed some light on Aiden’s life growing up and how and why he had become a criminal and the man he was today. She certainly wouldn’t feel comfortable asking his parents, or Kate.

  “Mum shouldn’t have got him involved. I don’t like that he held Amy,” Aiden replied. He switched on the television with the remote on the table beside the armchair and stared vacantly at the screen. Lily knew he wouldn’t be watching it. He never did. It merely gave him something to look at whilst his mind whirled with whatever business he was keeping from her that day.

  Lily asked, despite his palpable reluctance, “Why did you fall out?”

  Aiden tore his eyes away from the screen and gazed at her, surprised that she knew anything of this, but the penny quickly dropped: she would have found out during her conversation with Grant and his mother the previous day. His lips thinned and he replied flatly, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  Amy had fallen asleep during her feed. Lily adjusted her clothing and turned the child over to burp her as Aiden concentrated his gaze back on the television. She tried to keep her tone light and unaccusing when she pressed, “Why don’t you want to talk about it?”

  Aiden sighed, though he tried to disguise it. He lifted his tumbler to his mouth and took a gulp, then set it back down on the arm of the chair. He proceeded to untie his black tie and pull it from his neck, dropping it to the floor, then he unfastened the two top buttons of his shirt. Taking another gulp of whisky, he finally announced, “He interfered too much.”

  Lily’s eyes went back to him as she settled Amy into the cradle of her arms. “Interfered in what?”

  “Oh, I don’t know, Lily. My life, I expect…” he replied, now exasperated.

  She hesitated, then asked, “Did he interfere in your work?”

  She watched Aiden carefully. His eyebrows twitched, but his expression remained impassive. He took another gulp of his drink, acting as if he hadn’t heard her, but she knew him better than that. He was thinking over her question, working out the best way to answer whilst he too attempted to rein in his frustration.

  “Let’s just say, I wanted to make my own way,” he announced, evidently narked.

  Lily nodded. She wouldn’t get any more out of him now. Like Gina, his full guard had come up and she had learned a hard lesson dealing with Gina that day a few months ago. The key was not to push them too far. People like her husband and Gina didn’t talk unless they were happy to. She needed to choose her moments carefully and unearth whatever information she could at the time. Every attempt would give her something; provide another piece of the puzzle. And one day, she would piece together the truth and… then what? She wasn’t sure.

  She wanted to speak with Gina again and she was now determined to speak with Grant O’Donoghue some more. She was sure he was the key to whatever she felt she needed to discover. She just needed to find out how to contact him without raising suspicion.

  Aiden rose from his chair, making Lily start, but, again, he didn’t seem to notice. He stepped over to her. “How are you feeling?” he asked, his blue eyes gazing down at her intently.

  Lily blinked up at him, pulling Amy closer to her chest. “I’m fine.”

  “You’re well?” he pressed, and Lily nodded. He crouched down and, placing his hands on her knees, he began to move them slowly up her legs. She had to prevent herself from shuddering. “Why don’t you put Amy to bed and meet me in the bedroom?”

  A carnal smile crept onto his lips. It was a gesture that would have floored her not so long ago, but now it only bred anxiety. She felt the tight band in her chest as she watched him leave the room.

  She peered down at Amy, the spawn of Aiden Foster, and, not for the first time, she silently thanked the Lord that the child was a girl. A boy, she feared, would turn out just like his father.

  When Lily entered the bedroom from the ensuite, dressed in a short white nightdress, Aiden had already removed his jacket, shoes and socks. His belt buckle was loose, and he was unbuttoning the rest of his shirt. Lily felt sick with apprehension, but he wouldn’t take it lightly if she denied him this. He had missed her during her time in hospital. That had been evident the previous night, but she had been able to put him off then, having just got home. He had understood and let her be. But tonight he would know something else was wrong.

  Slipping off his shirt, he stalked over to her, his ripped abdominal muscles responding to each step, his trousers loose around his waist showing the perfect ‘v’ of his oblique muscles. He looked divine, and his beauty conjured an acute longing in Lily: a longing for everything she had discovered not to be true. Her inherent love for this man had not waned despite her fear of his sins.

  Henry VIII had been bewitched by Anne Boleyn and had consequently fallen victim to the tragic circumstance of loving her as much as he grew to hate her. Had their roles now changed? This was her circumstance now. A love that could not be eliminated by will or reason stirred deep inside her as she peered up at her husband, yet an ominous thread of revulsion and hatred wound around her heart with such conviction that just the thought of him touching her sickened her.

  Aiden took her face in his hands. His skin was hot. She could feel the heat emanating from him. Placing his forehead on hers, he closed his eyes and inhaled through his nose, breathing her in. “I’ve missed you, Mrs Foster.”

  Lily gulped. “I’ve missed you too.” She lied and spoke the truth, all at once.

  He pressed his lips on her forehead and placed his finger beneath her chin, tipping her head back so that their eyes met. Lily felt a hand grope her backside. She knew it wasn’t as perky as it had been before she had fallen pregnant, and she made a mental note to get back into shape as quickly as possible. She would join a gym somewhere – a place with a nice pool for little Amy.

  By the time she had mentally gone through the process of who she would need to speak to in order to find the best gym in close proximity and what type of exercises would best suit the different parts of her body she needed to tone, she had been lowered onto the bed and Aiden was pulling off his trousers and boxer shorts.

  She glimpsed his manhood as it sprang free, hard and ready for action, and averted her eyes to the ceiling. He climbed above her and ran the tip up her inner thigh. This little gesture had once driven her wild with passion, but now it only sent cold shivers up her spine.

  When Aiden’s lips found hers, he was rough and filled with need, and Lily instinctively knew the act they were about to perform wouldn’t last long. When Aiden wanted to make love, he made the process excruciatingly slow, but when Aiden wanted to fuck, it was rough and it was quick. And luckily for her, tonight he desired the latter.

  Chapter forty-two

  “Vivien, it is Lily.”

  “Hello love!”

  Lily could hear the warm affection in her motherin-law’s voice as she answered her unexpected phone call. “Thanks for the other day…” she announced, as politely as ever.

  “No problem.” Vivien replied. “Sorry for getting you in trouble with Aiden over Grant. My boy doesn’t change in his old age, does he?”

  “No,” Lily replied. “Listen… talking of Grant, I’d really like to thank him properly for taking the time to help. It was nice meeting him, seeing as he and Aiden had been close once. I don’t suppose you could give me his address… I was thinking of sending him some flowers.”

  “Well, that’s a nice idea, but I don’t think Grant is a ‘flowers’ type of man.”

  Lily bit her tongue. “Something else, then…”

  “He loves his whisky. He lives in Hampstead, the flash git… on Sheldon Avenue, number forty-six. I’ll have to pop up and see him at some point. It’s been ages. I can admit it now: he was my rock when the kids were younger.”

  Lily could tell Vivien was on the verge of reminiscing about a past she had learned so much of over the past months, and in her limit
ed experience, she knew that it was difficult to get Vivien to stop once she got started. She interrupted the flow. “Forty six, Sheldon Avenue, Hampstead. Thanks, Vivien,” and she was successful in diverting Vivien’s attention.

  Vivien asked, “How are you getting on?”

  “I’m good. Everything’s fine now…”

  “You scared us. We thought we were going to lose the both of you… Aiden was in bits!”

  “I’m sure… look, Vivien, sorry to cut it short, but I’ve got loads to do.”

  “’Course you have! You’re a mum now, Lily… I’ll let you go, but stay in touch, OK?”

  “Of course…”

  Lily placed the phone receiver down and sighed. She was suddenly nervous. What would Grant think of her turning up at his door and how would she get the information she wanted from him without it being obvious that she knew something?

  ************

  A few days later, Lily turned her car into Sheldon Avenue and searched for house number forty-six. The houses in the street were large and well-kept. They reminded her of her own home in Harpenden. She pulled up outside Grant’s house. It was one of the larger in the street with a mowed lawn and shrubs beneath the windows. A pathway cut through the garden and led to a wide, green front door. It was one of the prettier houses on the street, which surprised her. She had been told that Grant had never married, yet the house had the elegance that could only be achieved by a woman’s touch. She pushed Amy’s pushchair up the garden path, clutching the bottle of Glenlivet whisky she had brought with her, and pressed the brass doorbell.

  She had no idea whether he was in. She glanced at her watch. It was 7:15pm. When the door swung open, a tall, attractive brunette with dark olive skin and brown eyes, around her age, smiled down at her. “Can I help you?” she asked in a genteel European accent, the sight of the pushchair subsequently causing her to frown with confusion.

  “Uh… my name is Lily Foster.”

  “Lily?”

  Grant’s large frame appeared in the doorway beside the young woman and he discreetly pushed her aside with the palm of his hand against her hip. She didn’t vocally oppose her dismissal, but her heavy eyelids narrowed as she scowled up at him, conveying her annoyance. She left them alone.

  “And what do I owe this pleasure? Is Aiden with you?” he asked, scanning the street behind her. Was everyone wary of her husband?

  “I wanted to thank you for your help the other day.”

  She held out the bottle of whisky and Grant stepped out onto the path and took it from her. “You silly arse, you didn’t have to do that! Please, come in.” He pulled the door wide open and Lily directed her pushchair into the large hallway. Abutting the hallway was a grand set of stairs that separated at the top, winding round to the left and right. It was a show piece. “How is the child?” he asked.

  “She’s fine. And sleeping, which is good,” Lily answered politely. “You have a lovely home.”

  “Thank you, Lily.” He shrugged his large shoulders. “Natalia takes care of the décor and the help keeps it tidy. Please, come through to the kitchen,” he added.

  As Lily, with pushchair in tow, followed Grant down the long hallway towards the kitchen, they passed a door revealing a lounge and Lily noticed the young woman who’d opened the door to her, who she presumed was Natalia, sitting cross-legged in an armchair, eating popcorn out of a large glass bowl. Entering the kitchen, Lily directed Amy’s pushchair into one corner of the room.

  “Is Natalia your daughter?” she asked. She didn’t recall the mention of a daughter during their conversation the other day, and she had been told that Grant had never married, but it was still feasible for him to have a daughter around her age.

  Grant let out a puff of laughter and closed the set of double doors that opened onto the hallway they had just come in from. “No, darlin’,” he replied, then whispered jovially, “She’s what they call my ‘bit on the side’!” He winked.

  “Oh!” Lily’s faced flushed crimson.

  Grant grinned and pulled out a bottle of wine from the fridge. “I don’t drink wine, and Natalia only drinks white.”

  “That’s fine,” Lily replied, still recovering from her embarrassment.

  “Take a seat.”

  She checked Amy (she was still sleeping soundly) then pulled herself onto one of the ten high stools surrounding the long breakfast bar located in the middle of the room. Grant’s kitchen was beautifully designed, everything either in the colour ivory or black, with light wood worktops. It was extremely modern and she thought to remind herself to ask who had designed it. But she had some prying to do first.

  “Vivien holds you in high esteem. She said you were her rock when Aiden and Kate were younger…” she announced, watching Grant closely as he poured out her white wine.

  “She shows too much gratitude, considering it was my fault in the first place,” he replied.

  “Your fault?”

  He placed Lily’s glass on the worktop and proceeded to pour himself a tumbler of the Glenlivet. He did this silently and Lily wondered whether she had already provoked his guard. When he came to sit opposite her, however, he replied, “Duggie Foster used to work for me… illegal boxing matches. He was a great boxer. We used to clean up wherever we went, for a time. Unfortunately, Duggie allowed his natural greed to affect his judgement and he tried to fix a match against me… let’s just say I ended his career and his ability to walk without a limp.”

  He winked again and Lily found herself staring at her hands, which were clasped tightly in her lap. “Oh.”

  “After that, I helped Vivien out. Duggie had no interest in working after what had happened. I think he resented Vivien and wanted to make her suffer… but that’s just my opinion.” He paused then announced, “I would say, ‘I’m surprised Aiden hasn’t already told you this’, but… he was never one for opening up about family affairs.”

  Their eyes met again and they stared at each other in deep contemplation before Lily gulped and asked, “Why would Duggie want Vivien to suffer?”

  Grant hesitated. “If it hadn’t been for Vivien convincing me otherwise, I’d have killed Duggie that night. He’d always been too proud to admit that it was Vivien who saved his life.”

  Lily lifted her glass and took a large gulp of wine. She already wanted to change the subject. The thought of Duggie deliberately allowing his wife and children to struggle on the account of pride and resentment did not sit well with her and, she wondered whether Aiden would do the same to her if he knew where she was right now, if he found out that she knew what he was. She also wasn’t sure whether Grant was being literal when he said that he would have killed Duggie, which heightened her anxiety all the more. Who were these people? They talked carelessly about violence and suffering as if it were part of everyday life.

  “So, you helped by financing the family?”

  “Yes.”

  “That was nice of you…”

  “It was the least I could have done. Vivien had just given birth to Aiden, and they were skint. I owed her, if not Duggie. I bought them the flat in Carlton House.”

  “You seem very fond of Vivien…”

  “I am. She was once a lovely young lady, much like yourself, but… she changed dramatically, especially after having Aiden.” Grant frowned. He seemed to regret his opinion of Vivien.

  Lily pressed for more information. “What changed?”

  He shrugged. “Life, I guess… Duggie, mostly… and Aiden. She didn’t take to Aiden. I was the one who adored him, but when Kate came along, Vivien seemed to be genuinely happy. She doted on her little girl, but…” he tailed off then added, “I had hoped that Kate’s arrival would rejuvenate Vivien’s relationship with Aiden, but it only seemed to make her more determined to cast him out. It was strange… when we first met, she had seemed so desperate to have children…” he tailed off once more, his eyebrows furrowed in his own confusion.

  “Aiden sometimes expresses that he didn’t get along w
ith Vivien…”

  Grant shook his head, still bemused. “He could be difficult, don’t get me wrong…” Lily smiled, sardonically. Grant noticed and smirked in response. “He hasn’t changed, has he?”

  Lily shook her head, her eyes falling to her glass. “So… what happened to make you and Aiden stop talking? You said you had been like a father to him…”

  “I had been funding the family all the way through Aiden and Kate’s childhood, up until they were teenagers. I paid for their schooling and activities they wanted to take up outside of school. Aiden used to box, but Kate was always very indecisive as a child. First it was the violin, then it was ballet, netball, gymnastics…” He rolled his eyes and smiled at the memory. “But I couldn’t keep Vivien financially protected forever. I initially thought that if Duggie insisted on being a useless bastard, pardon my French, then I would get Aiden working for me, so he could keep the family.”

  “But he rebelled against that idea?” Lily guessed, relaying the recent conversation with Aiden about Grant ‘interfering too much’ in his life.

  Grant smiled, but it was a pensive smile. “Yeah,” he replied and shrugged, adding, “You know Aiden…”

  Lily took another sip of her wine. She wasn’t sure she did, but she didn’t express it. “So, what kind of business are you in, Mr O’Donoghue?”

  “Grant, please,” Grant smiled and stared at her for a long moment, hesitating before he answered, “All kinds. I have many fingers in many pies, Lily.” The way he smiled convinced her that he was hiding something and she wondered really how much she would be able to get him to reveal today.

  Lily changed tack. “And Aiden… what did he end up doing after he’d refused to work with you?”

  “Oh, you know… the usual…”

  Lily sighed, a sweet smile rising on her lips. “No, unfortunately I don’t know.”

  Grant reciprocated her smile. He wasn’t too sure what to say. He didn’t want to paint a bad picture of this woman’s husband, and he was bemused as to why she didn’t know all this already. He shrugged and replied, “Car theft.”