Deep Desire (Going Deep Book 4)

by Virna DePaul

  Not professional. And not what she felt she could deal with at the moment, anyway.

  It was past six o’clock by the time she headed back to Gabe’s house.

  She shouldn’t have worried about the Murphys seeing her in a depressed state because both Murph and Gabe appeared gone for the night.

  Zoe ended up climbing into her bed and hibernating, after all. But as she fell asleep, she thought of her father and how much she wished things could be different. Then she thought of Gabe and how much she’d rather have climbed into his bed, not for sex, but to be held and to hold him in return.

  The next morning was like déjà vu, with Zoe and Gabe jumping right into their training session, not acting abnormally exactly, but definitely not with the level of ease they’d managed to attain in the last few weeks either. To his credit, Gabe tried to keep the conversation going, asking about what she did on her day off and explaining that after practice, several guys had asked him to join them for drinks, and he’d decided on the spur of the moment to do it.

  “In addition to Kyle Young, I spent some time with Heath Dawson and Alec LeBrun. At the end of the night, Heath called his wife. Her name is Camille, but he called her Waterboy. When he told me the story behind the nickname, I laughed my ass off.”

  Zoe smiled weakly and nodded. “I’m glad you went out with them.”

  That’s it. She didn’t ask him to repeat the story about the nickname. Instead she moved to the pull-up bar. “Give me forty one-handed, alternating arms in between. I’ll spot the bad shoulder.”

  Gabe’s grin vanished but for once he didn’t voice a protest over her choice of words. She knew how much it annoyed him for her to keep calling it his bad shoulder, but it was, and there was no point in denying the truth.

  “Zo, you okay?”

  She pressed her lips together, knowing there was an obvious reason he was asking the questions. She wasn’t okay, and she wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding it, either. Her visit with her father had hit her hard. It was understandable, but she hated it. She shouldn’t be letting her personal life affect her time with Gabe. It was her problem, not his. “Yes, I’m fine. Why?”

  “You seem upset. Did something happen yesterday?”

  He looked genuinely concerned. God, he was beautiful. Not just gorgeous physically, but as she was learning more and more, a truly good man.

  She wanted to tell him everything then. About her father. Her financial problems. She even opened her mouth to do so, but then her phone began ringing on the bench next to her. Her brother, Pete. Normally she would ignore the call given she was right in the middle of a session, but with the way she was feeling, combined with Gabe’s confusion and concern, it was all too much for her to handle. She just needed a minute alone to get her composure back.

  “I have to take this. I’ll be right back,” she told Gabe.

  She took the call outside in the garden. The hot sunshine and butterflies worked together to ease her mind. “Hey.”

  “What’s wrong?” her brother asked. Did he have a sixth sense?

  “What do you mean?”

  “Zoe, I know you visited Dad yesterday and I can tell by the sound of your voice you’re feeling the affects of that. Or did something else happen that I should know about?”

  She plopped onto a stone bench, keeping her eye on the French doors in case Gabe should follow her outside. “Nothing else happened. Like you said, it was just a hard visit.”

  “He was doing bad?”

  “Yes. He got angry. Threw some cake I brought him. And he didn’t remember me.”

  She heard her brother’s sigh and knew he got it. “It was the same when I visited him three days ago. But instead of cake, he threw a framed family picture I’d brought him. It’s tough, Zoe. But you’re not alone. I’m here for Dad and for you.”

  “I know, Pete. Thank you.”

  “So what’s going on with Gabe?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Come on, Zoe. It was you who called me weeks ago and told me you’d kissed your client and weren’t sure if you should still stay in the same house with him because you wanted to jump his bones, wasn’t it?”

  Zoe winced. “Yeah, well…no worries.” She told him about how they’d talked things out and gotten closer over the past few weeks. “Just as friends. I even attended a Bootleggers party with him Friday night, but nothing more has happened between us.” Even though it had definitely felt like something when they’d been on the dance floor. “We’re keeping things professional. Friendly, but professional.”

  “Yeah. Well maybe you should rethink that.”

  “Really? That’s not what you were saying before.”

  “Well, even from the little you’ve told me, I can tell he clearly cares about you and you care about him. And you’ve had a bad day, and you have a lot of bad days because of Dad, Zoe, and because of the cost of his care. We both do…. But you work too hard, take too much on. You deserve some damn fun. Something for yourself. If Gabe can give you that, I’m all for it.”

  Just then, Gabe appeared on the other side of the French doors, shielding his eyes from the sun as he looked for her. He opened one door and stepped outside but hesitated when he saw she was still on the phone.

  She swallowed hard and averted her gaze so that he wouldn’t see that she’d been crying. “Hey, I have to go,” she told her brother. “I’ll call you later.”

  “Okay, we’ll talk then,” Pete said. “And Zoe? Go easy on yourself, babe.”

  She thanked him, hung up, then forced a smile on her face before walking toward the doorway where Gabe stood running a hand through his sweaty hair. “Hey, listen,” she said. “I’m sorry if I was off in there. The truth is, you’re right. I was feeling a little sad today, but I’m fine now.”

  Gabe studied her intently before tucking a stray strand of her hair behind her ear. “You don’t have to apologize. I just wanted to see if you were okay. I care about you, peach. I mean, Zo.”

  Wow, he must be really worried about her if he was catching himself calling her peach, something he’d never bothered holding back from before. “I’m fine.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yes.”

  But he still didn’t look convinced, so she suddenly held up her phone. “And just so you know, the nickname ‘Peach’ has grown on me. I even changed my phone code to PCHY. So feel free to use it, er, if you want to. The nickname I mean. Not my phone code.” She laughed awkwardly. Maybe she shouldn’t have revealed how much she liked his nickname for her, but it was too late now.

  He looked at her phone then nodded, his shoulders relaxing somewhat. “Okay, I will. And just so you know, if you ever want to talk about what’s making you sad, or anything, Zoe, I’m here. You’ve been a good friend to me, and I can be the same to you.”

  She nodded and pressed her lips together. Then, after only a brief hesitation, she took another risk. Because Gabe had become her friend. “Thank you, Gabe. But if you’re available now, what I’d really love is a big hug. Would you be up for that?”

  He immediately enfolded her in his arms. “Nothing I’d rather do, peach.”

  Chapter 13

  Gabe continued to train with Zoe until he could almost forget what his life was like before she entered it. When Cut Day came and went and Gabe hadn’t been cut, it elevated his confidence, especially given that he was playing better than he ever had before. He would steal this season, prove to the Noise that they’d made a huge mistake by trading him, and impress his new coaches and teammates, who he was steadily opening up to.

  He had Zoe to thank for all of it.

  She was his athletic muse and his escape from the stress of football all at the same time. It was Zoe he couldn’t stop thinking of, Zoe whose image was at the forefront of his mind when barreling into the end zone, Zoe he was trying to impress on some level, whether or not she was there to watch him play. Zoe, front and center in his one-track mind.

  When Murph asked how things
were going with Zoe, he told her things were great, never bringing up the fact that he’d held her in his arms when he’d danced with her, and then just two days later after she’d taken that phone call in the garden. Some things were better off kept to himself, memories nobody had to know, like a great band you discover before the rest of the world finds out how amazing they are.

  Even though they stayed true to what they’d agreed on and kept things completely professional between them, even over protein breakfasts, listening to her tell stories about high school, he’d imagine her in the school locker room. All roads—as they say—led to Rome. Every fucking thing she did was sexy, from the way she talked to the way she stood, one hand on her hip while he did his sets, to the way her fingers touched his body lightly during reps. All the while, he marveled at her incredible beauty. She was the sexiest goddamn woman he’d ever known.

  But she was also keeping a secret.

  That thing that had made her sad enough that she’d asked him to hold her? It still seemed to affect her periodically, and even though Gabe would gently try to get her to talk to him about it, she never did. It made him realize that while Zoe might see him as a friend now, it was a limited friendship, and he had to remember that.

  They’d have their time together, her as his trainer, as casual friends, but that was all. He wasn’t going to breach the walls she’d erected or get to the tender heart of her, so he’d have to enjoy whatever she was willing to give him for as long as she was willing to give it.

  The fact was, though, as much as they spent time together, he still missed her when they were apart. Today was a rare day—it was both their days off, and they’d skipped the workout this morning. Gabe had spent the day going over game film, Murph was out yet again—hell, he rarely saw her and he was going to have to talk to his sister soon and find out exactly where she’d been staying, or rather with who— and Zoe had been in and out, finally stopping by an hour ago to tell him she was heading to Iron Maiden to do some paperwork.

  Right now, he should be chilling—he could read a book, go for a swim, watch a movie. Instead of relaxing however, he was missing Zoe. He felt downright needy. And restless.

  Maybe he’d head over to Iron Maiden and do a workout. It would give him a chance to see her, and as pathetic as that was, seeing Zoe was starting to become as vital to him as air.

  When Zoe entered Iron Maiden to finally catch up on the paperwork she’d been putting off, the gym was empty save for the one trainer on duty. She talked every day with Kevin and trusted him when he said things were running smoothly, but the truth was most of the day-to-day clients had already abandoned ship, opting for better facilities down the road at her competitor. She couldn’t blame them, but hopefully some would return once she fixed the place up. Right now, however, that wasn’t her priority.

  With the money she’d already earned working with Gabe the past month, she’d paid her father’s care home bill, and in a couple of weeks, she’d be able to pay her past due rent on Iron Maiden. She’d called her landlord to ask for another extension, but hadn’t heard back from him yet. If Gabe kept her on after their agreed-upon six weeks, well maybe then she’d be able to purchase three new machines. With a new coat of paint and new carpeting, she could have the place looking semi-new by March or April.

  Zoe was headed to her office when Shannon, the trainer, rushed up to her.

  “Zoe, I’m so glad you’re here. I know we’re open for another hour, but I just got a call from my babysitter that Angie’s not feeling well and is upset and asking for me. Any chance…”

  Angie was Shannon’s four-year-old daughter and Shannon rarely asked for time off so Zoe had no problem saying, “Go, Shannon. No one’s here anyway, and I can help anyone who might show up.”

  Relief flooded Shannon’s features. “Thanks, Zoe. You’re the best.”

  Zoe headed to the office and took a seat at her desk, where she’d still be able to see anyone come in. The space felt foreign and alien after spending so much time at Gabe’s house. The room was musty and old, with a water stain on the drop ceiling and walls filled with scratch marks and chair dings. After spending time in a luxury house decked out with brand new floors, designer lighting, and ultra modern kitchen, Iron Maiden felt more like a dump than ever before.

  After closing time had come and gone, the cleaning crew arrived right on time. Zoe waved to them then waved again when they left an hour later.

  She was almost done with the paperwork she’d been working on when the bell on the front door jingled and she looked up to see Tony Spratford, her landlord, walk into the gym as if she’d conjured him with her earlier thoughts. He spotted her, headed for her office, then stepped inside uninvited. He wasn’t the politest person in the world; in fact, he was downright brash, something he confirmed when the first thing he said was, “You need to pay your rent, Reynolds.”

  Zoe stood and held out her hand, which Tony reluctantly shook, although she noticed he squeezed rather hard for a friendly handshake. “I left you a message, Tony. I’m so sorry for the late rent but I can have it for you in two weeks along with—”

  Spratford harrumphed. “Two weeks isn’t good enough. I need the rent now. You’ve taken advantage of my good nature long enough.”

  Zoe pressed her lips together, trying to get hold of her emotions. She hated the fact she was late with her rent, but she certainly wasn’t taking advantage of him. She told him she’d pay late fees, and was doing the best she could. She had to admit, though, that she hadn’t offered an explanation for why she was late. Heart trembling inside her chest, she thought maybe it was time to explain the situation about her father. “Tony, I haven’t told you what’s going on with my father…”

  Sensing an excuse coming, Tony rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Whatever it is, you still need to pay rent, Zoe.”

  “Yes, I know, but understand that my father…” She hesitated, taking a deep breath just to be able to finish her sentence. “Well, he hasn’t been doing too well.”

  “What’s wrong with him?” He eyed her suspiciously.

  “He’s suffering. He’s been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and well…my brother and I have had significantly higher expenses. See, we have him at a memory care center, and—”

  “Zoe, that sucks, don’t get me wrong, but I promised my wife a trip to Europe and I can’t disappoint her, know what I mean?”

  She did—she knew what he meant. And she understood. Her problems weren’t his. But she couldn’t produce money out of thin air. “I understand, and like I said, I’ll have it for you in two weeks. If you could just give me time—”

  “Hey, you have a fancy new boyfriend now…new dude from the Chicago team…what’s his name again?”

  Zoe instinctively took several steps back. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Yeah, you do. Murphy, the wide receiver. Your brother Pete was trying to reassure me you’d have the rent soon. Told me you’re training him and I saw you guys walking into Patricia’s together a couple of weeks ago, all dolled up. He makes good money. Why don’t you get him to pay your rent? I’m sure it’d be no big deal for a guy like him.”

  Zoe sucked in a stream of air through her nostrils and did her best not to let Tony’s comment bother her. “I don’t have a boyfriend, Tony. I don’t know what made you think that.”

  “Really? I could’ve sworn you two were together. Heard you were living with him and everything.”

  Had Pete told him that too? Granted, it wasn’t exactly a secret, but she was going to have to talk to her brother about keeping private information private. “I was hired to be his athletic trainer, but I’m no more his girlfriend than a personal chef would be.” That wasn’t exactly true—at the very least, she and Gabe were friends—but of course it was none of Tony’s business. “Have a nice night, Tony.”

  He opened his mouth to say something else, but she walked to the door and held it open, her gaze steady on his. Finally, he left, and she shut
the door after him, slumping against it in combined mortification and relief.

  Almost immediately, Tony knocked on the door and she groaned. She straightened and turned. “Look, Tony, I—”

  Her words cut off when she saw Gabe’s broad shoulders, wide chest, and shaped calves, his hands lifting the visor of his baseball cap off his forehead and turning it around. She opened the door.

  “Hey,” Gabe said. “Since you said you were going to be here, I thought I’d grab a workout, do some shadowboxing or sparring with a trainer, and maybe we could catch dinner afterward.”

  He wanted to work out on his one day off? Did he not listen at all when she told him he needed to give his body some time to rest? Or was that just an excuse to see her? Because he could certainly work out at home.

  The idea that he’d missed her when he’d just seen her yesterday filled her with pleasure. “Um…we just closed and I was just finishing up my paperwork…”

  “Oh jeez, I didn’t even think about checking your hours.” He shook his head and held up a hand. “No worries. I’ll just get out of your hair—”

  “No, wait!” She looked over at the the paperwork she’d been reviewing on her desk, all bills that she couldn’t afford to pay, and then back at Gabe. “You know what, let me just lock up and put up the Closed sign, then I’ll join you.” She’d go out there and work on a little sparring with Gabe. Get her mind off things.

  “Really? Because I don’t want to interfere with your plans. You work hard enough with me during the week. You deserve your own time.”

  “It’s no problem, Gabe. Promise.”

  “Okay,” he said, but he didn’t look convinced.

  “What is it?”

  “It’s just…I saw the guy leaving your office before I got here. Things looked a little tense. And to be honest, you just look like a truck ran over your cat. Twice.”