Christmas Knight

by Kimberly Llewellyn

  Tori rolled her eyes and smiled. "I'm wearing them for my mother's sake. You're not allowed to leave the house without 'layers,' as she calls them. In her eyes, we're all twelve years old."

  "I know what you mean." He tugged on the jacket that Tori's father insisted he wear over the sweater. "I had to wear this just to run to the store with your Dad."

  "He likes having you around. And how was the big trip to the store in town? Were they open?"

  "Surprisingly, yes."

  "I thought my mom was going to pass out when she realized she ran out milk." Tori chuckled.

  "The store also carried these." From behind his back, Zach pulled out a small handful of roses wrapped in red Christmas ribbon and presented them to Tori.

  "So beautiful," she said, followed with a sigh. "What's the occasion?"

  "As a thank you for inviting me here today. And to celebrate that Spike was found. The woman from the restaurant is watching him until I pick him up on my way back."

  "I'm happy about that," Tori answered as she took the roses from him.

  "Well, you don't sound too happy. What's wrong?"

  "Wrong? Nothing. Everything's perfect. That's the problem." She looked out at the darkening sky. "Today was wonderful, but now it's ending." She took in a deep breath of air to calm her trembling. "And I'll be losing you. After today, I'll probably never see you again, Zach." She couldn't help the shakiness in her voice. She brought the roses to her face to inhale the floral scent. The last time she got roses was at the end of a dance performance of Nutcracker. While she loved the flowers, they served as a reminder that she and Zach were coming to an end of their own.

  Unable to face him, she rose and stood on the step.

  Zach rose, too. He stood on a lower step, bringing Tori face to face with him.

  She lowered the roses to her side and stood before the man she'd grown to care about.

  "I don't have to go anywhere, Tori. Not tonight at least," he said in a soothing tone.

  Surprised, Tori looked at him square in the eye. "What do you mean?"

  "Your father offered me the guest room for tonight. I told him I'd consider it. It's a long drive back. And a nice warm bed after that great meal sounds pretty good. Besides, as far as I recall, you still owe me a mean massage." Zach wrapped his arms around her waist. She leaned in toward him.

  "So you'll stay?" She didn't bother hiding her hopefulness.

  "I like your family. And Stephen's great. So, yeah, I'd like to stay tonight." He kissed her fully on the lips, sending a radiating heat of delight through her.

  She broke from the kiss long enough to say, "I'm so glad!"

  Tori hugged him hard as she blinked back a threatening tear. Her heart swelled with renewed happiness, even though she knew the happiness would last for only one night more.

  * * *

  Tori turned over a final time in the rollaway bed before sitting up. She wasn't falling asleep any time soon. She searched the darkness of Stephen's bedroom that had once been hers. The blue-white moonlight spilled in through the window just enough to illuminate the silhouettes of toys. Her gaze then settled on her little son sound asleep in his bed.

  But her thoughts were on Zach. She missed having him sleeping beside her. She hated to admit it, but she had already grown accustomed to having Zach's arms wrapped around her when she slept. She wanted his arms around her now.

  The sure knowledge that Zach would be leaving first thing in the morning was driving her crazy. Not even away at college had she ever felt this lonely. Tori eased off the rollaway bed, adjusted her long nightgown, and padded downstairs. As she stood at the bottom of the stairs, a whisper of her name came from out of the dimness of the living room.

  "Couldn't sleep either, huh?" said a soulful male voice.

  "Zach?" Tori turned the corner to see Zach standing by the giant Christmas tree, its soft golden lights gleaming through the layers of tinsel. The light gave Zach's skin a warm glow, and his eyes gleamed in a way that matched the tree. He wore just his black sweat pants, the only thing he slept in at night if he wore anything at all. Tori's earlier admission to herself had been correct... she missed him in her bed.

  "I turned on the lights on the tree since I was up. I didn't think anyone would mind."

  "Not at all," Tori murmured and found her way under his arm.

  "You know, I usually don't make a promise if I can't keep it." He drew one finger along the lacy edge of the bodice of her nightgown.

  Tori braced herself for his goodbye. He couldn't sleep, so he would leave her tonight. She should have expected as much.

  "Don't say it, Zach. Please." She nuzzled her head in his chest as she clung to him. She could feel his brawn tighten with her every light touch.

  "I just want to tell you that I've never felt this way about any other woman in my life. You have a right to know that."

  "I do know that."

  Tori could feel the tears well up in her eyes once more. Saying goodbye was difficult enough. It would be better not to drag this on any longer. If Zach left now, she could at least lie in bed alone, truly knowing it had ended at last. And she'd toss and turn and be kept awake by heartache until dawn, when she could leave her lonely bed and start a fresh day. Without Zach.

  "I'll explain to my parents you had to move on tonight."

  Zach smiled and shook his head no. "That's not what I mean. If I could promise that I'd see you in Boston, I would, but I can't. Especially now that I don't know what lies ahead. But as for tonight, I promised to be here with you. You couldn't get rid of me if you tried."

  Tori's heart soared. Even if they merely stood there arm in arm until the first ray of light appeared outside, she would happily accept their fate. He'd made her a promise to stay the night and reaffirmed that promise.

  "But we need a couple of sleeping bags, and maybe a flashlight. We're going camping," he whispered.

  She searched his expression in the golden semi-darkness. A devilish sparkle glinted in his eyes, but she dared not ask him what he had in mind. After turning out the Christmas tree lights, he took her hand and led her through the back of the house. He pointed out the window to the structure in the tree.

  "The tree house? It must be thirty degrees outside!" she whispered.

  "That's why we need the sleeping bags. Besides, you hardly get cold, remember?"

  Tori giggled. She and Zach gathered up the sleeping bags, pillows, and a flashlight from the hall closet. With utmost quiet, they creaked open the back door, scurried over the crunchy patches of snow, and climbed into the fort. In a mad flurry of hushed activity, they managed to zip the two sleeping bags together and scoot inside before the chill of the night seeped into their bones.

  Tori tried to calm the shiver of excitement that ran through her body. She felt like a teenager sneaking out of the house in search of mischief. Her shivering subsided as she felt Zach wrap around her. His body shook as he let out a small laugh.

  "We've been in close quarters for days. Now we have an entire house to sleep in and where do we end up? In this tiny tree house!" he said.

  Tori could feel the heat of his breath on her neck as he spoke in her ear. His demanding lips brushing along her neck sent another shivering wave through her.

  "Living like normal people probably wouldn't feel right to us, anyway," she whispered back.

  Tori thought back to when she had played campout with Stephen the previous summer. The thought of her son sobered her. "Stephen loves this place. I've missed him so much. And I'm glad I'm home, but I hate that you're leaving tomorrow." She felt Zach's arms tighten around her.

  "I wish I could take your mind off it and make you feel better for a while."

  She rolled closer to him and faced him. "You can."

  Without any more words, Tori welcomed Zach's mouth on hers. She kissed him with tenderness until the pent-up hunger for him stirred deep within her. She felt passion in his kiss, but also the same sense of urgency that she felt.

  She strok
ed his back and chest; he felt as good as he'd looked by the Christmas tree. His words told her he made no promises, but his body told her otherwise.

  "If this is our last night together, I want it to be memorable. I don't want you ever to forget me, Zach Endicott."

  "How could I ever forget the woman who rescued me?" His eyes grew smoky with desire. She shifted under him to receive his pressing weight against her.

  "I want to feel you."

  "Plan on it. Plan on being made love to until dawn."

  She felt Zach's hand, pressing her more tightly against him and drawing her closer, and she caressed his erection beneath the soft fabric of his sweatpants.

  He cajoled her body into loving him and it was easy to do it. The modest lace-trimmed nightgown that had become its own pesky fortress had wrapped and twisted itself around her body. But with Zach's help, she slipped the bothersome garment over her head and let it float onto the plank floor beside them.

  Another moment later, Tori dropped Zach's sweatpants down beside her nightgown. She needed him to caress her with his entire body. But he did more than just caress. He made her hungry for him in a way that she had grown tired of denying. His caress turned into teasing strokes, along her midriff and then the inside of her thigh. Her legs parted and he touched her so gently, so lovingly, she whimpered for what her body needed. She begged for him, to be surrounded by him, both inside and out.

  Her tender ache turned into a throbbing heat deep within her core that demanded to be taken. She arched against him, ready for his lovemaking, while her soul cried out to be satiated.

  He braced himself above her, separating their union only for a moment, to brush his lips along the line of her throat and descend at its base. The teasing swirl of his tongue on each breast sent her pulse skyrocketing and aroused stronger sensual sensations throughout her body.

  He brought his hardness against her body, and entered her without waiting. Tori let out a cry. Her sense of urgency grew before she even felt Zach as deeply as she could.

  Zach's need to drive himself into her further grew overwhelming. Zach thrust into her, savoring the waves of sensation that visibly shook her and tightened around his shaft. With his body, he took her all the way—her very heart and soul, until she cried his name in a feminine release.

  Then, amidst her own appeased whimpers, she thought she heard him say the words... I love you.

  But now those dizzying words evolved into hearing her name whispered in her ear. Zach lay alongside her, cradling her head in the crook of his arm, saying her name once again with a quiet desperation in his voice. Something in his heart was breaking. She understood. Her heart was breaking too.

  Chapter 14

  Tori lay awake, looking at the low ceiling of the tree house as a hint of dawn's gray winter light peeked through its cracks. She thought back to their lovemaking the night before and how their bodies, as well as their hearts, had become one. She remembered how they drifted into sleep only to awaken again in each other's arms and quell the fire of desire that arose within them once more.

  She wished she could lie there happy, complete, with the birds chirping and warm sun shining. But she couldn't. No birds sat chirping outside and the gray sky offered no warmth on this cold December morning. She felt Zach stir beside her and mumble as he awoke. He opened one sleepy eye.

  "We've got to get back in before everyone wakes up," she whispered.

  But Zach groaned in protest and dragged one arm around her to keep her close. Tori wanted to snuggle with him in the warmth of the sleeping bags forever. If he wanted her to stay in their small world right here, she would oblige him.

  "What time is it?" he asked. Zach's lips brushed and moved against her, making her skin tingle.

  "Don't know."

  Zach heaved himself upright and peeked out a small window that revealed the morning light. A cool rush of air took the warmth from the sleeping bag with Zach's movement. The air served as a chilling reminder of the world outside. The time had come to go back into that world.

  Please come back into my arms, Tori begged silently. But his heart didn't hear her unspoken plea.

  "I guess you're right. We've got to get going," he said.

  Tori heard the finality in his tone. She watched Zach's profile as he stared out the window. She wanted to cry out that they didn't have to go into their separate worlds... that they could still be together. Somehow.

  "We don't really have to, do we?" she asked. "It—it doesn't have to be that way."

  Zach turned and leaned back beside her. "Tori, my future is more uncertain than ever. I could never be a part of the life you have here. We both know that. I've got to go." He stroked a lock of her hair to soften the harshness of his words.

  "Please don't do this. Please don't," she said.

  He kissed her cheek to try and ease the hurt. "We both knew it would have to end."

  "I-I just thought that after yesterday, you—" Tori's voice trailed off.

  "I what? What did you think?" he asked softly.

  She didn't know how to explain what she'd been thinking. The day with him had been so perfect and Zach had settled in so comfortably, maybe even enjoyed himself. In her heart, she had hoped he would want to be a part of her life forever.

  But that hadn't been the case after all. It had been a nice day. No more. No less. She could see that now.

  Feeling alone and vulnerable, even with Zach by her side, Tori reached for her nightgown. Still within the two zipped-together sleeping bags, she pulled it down over the length of her body as if trying to shield herself from any more hurt.

  Tori knew Zach still waited for an answer. As she searched his face, she could barely see him through the burn stinging in her eyes. But she didn't mind. It was easier that way while she told him what she felt in her heart.

  "I thought, after yesterday and last night, there would be some chance for us." She shook her head, indicating she couldn't go on with her explanation.

  Zach regarded her quizzically. She knew he tried to make sense of her words. When he realized what she said, anger flashed in his eyes.

  "Is that was this was about? To show me the kind of storybook life I should be living?"

  He gripped her by the sides of her arms and propped her up. She tried to break away, but his size and strength had always dictated what she could and couldn't do when in his grasp. "I told you I'm not ready for that kind of package deal. So is that why you brought me here? To prove me wrong? To show me that 'happily ever after' can exist? Well, it can't. Not for me."

  Tori shook her head side to side more fervently. She never intended to try and change Zach when it came to his beliefs. She wanted to explain, but the words only came out in a sob. "No. I mean, I only meant—" Even through her blurry vision, Tori could see Zach's eyes growing black. The look terrified her.

  It was the look of any creature cornered. And what recourse would a creature have but to attack and protect itself? She could see how wrong she'd been to attempt to tame him.

  "Don't do this, Tori. Don't you think this is hard enough?"

  "I can't help it. I've fallen in love with you. And if you can't tell me you don't feel the same way, then you can just walk out now."

  She could no longer control her body's shaking, even as Zach gripped her. He fought the truth and she felt the fierceness in his resistance to admit his true feelings for her.

  "I can't tell you how I feel. As much as I want to. I never should have let it go this far."

  "But you did. All because you wanted it to, Zach. You wanted it and so did I." Tori felt Zach's grip ease up on her. "Do you think I couldn't have found another way home if I really wanted to? I wanted to be with you. And you... you should have left me at that coffee shop. Heck, you should have left me with my broken down Ford. But you didn't. We wanted to see how far we could take the adventure. Neither of us wanted this to end."

  He dropped his expression from hers, trying not to listen to what she had to say.

 
"Don't you think fate had a part in this?" she pressed. "The two of us meeting on the highway at three in the morning. Don't you think there's more to it than just coincidence?"

  His grip on her tightened up with a renewed strength.

  "It was coincidence. Fate has nothing to do with it. Tori, I couldn't just leave you by the side of the road, even though I acted like I wanted to. But now the adventure is over. I don't want it to be over any more than you do. But I have nothing to offer you, especially now that I have no job. And I don't want anything that you have to offer. Nothing can come of this."

  Tori winced at his piercing words. She knew what he meant. He didn't want some woman nagging him to come home. And didn't want an instant son that she'd had by another man. She was foolish to hope she could have had a future with someone like Zach. If anything, bringing him to her family and home had forced him to cling to his convictions more than ever.

  She finally accepted his words. She had been the weak one who lost her head and heart. Zach had only been strong in seeing their time together for what it was. She tried to respect him for that. And she would try to learn from him, as well.

  The adventure had ended.

  She knew other new challenges needed her attention, such as finishing her last semester of college and working on her own career. She would have to learn to be more like Zach if she were to succeed in this world. And like him, she would not allow herself to believe that her life had room for anything more than a career and her son.

  Shame washed over her for weak behavior. She had let her heart soften and get the best of her. Tori drew in a deep breath of air and calmed herself.

  "You're right, Zach. I guess I got carried away." She raked one hand through her hair and adjusted her nightgown. She gathered her wits fully and remained composed for the sake of their final moment. "I don't want to drag this out any more than you do," she said quietly. "You'd better get going. You have to go back and get Spike. Good-bye, Zach."

  After handing him his sweatpants, she brought the sleeping bag up to her chest protectively. She waited for Zach to get dressed, then head toward tree house door. Before exiting completely, he sent Tori one final look. She could see so much tension—and regret—in the chiseled lines of his face. For a moment, she thought his fierce determination had softened into hesitancy. But she was wrong. Zach Endicott turned back and left.