Family Forever

by Valerie J. Clarizio

  Dylan rolled above her, holding the bulk of his weight on his elbows. The need in his eyes was unmistakable, but it was the depth of love emitting in his gaze that calmed her, stole her heart, and let her know she was doing the right thing.

  A tinge of vulnerability passed over his face. What was that about? Then he opened his mouth as if to speak but no words came out. She waited out his hesitation. He blinked, sucked in a deep breath and let it out. “I love you. You know that, right?”

  Her heart slammed in her chest. Tears pooled in her eyes. Deep down she already knew how he felt about her but to hear the words come from his mouth with such sincerity blew her away.

  Dylan swiped his thumb over her cheek, drying a tear that escaped her. “What’s the matter? Are you okay?” he asked with a hint of panic in his tone.

  “Everything is fine. In fact, it’s perfect. I love you, too. I have for a long time.”

  His gentle lips found hers, and he pressed himself into her. Long, slow strokes filled her. He nipped at her lips and then slid his mouth down the side of her neck further sensitizing her already sensitive skin. It didn’t matter where he touched, every nerve ending in her body was already on fire.

  As her hands roamed over his heated skin, his muscles flexed underneath her touch. His strokes came quicker and deeper. He reached between their bodies and dragged his thumb over her swollen bead. Her breath hitched. With each stroke of her inner walls and flick of her inflamed bud, her inner muscles tightened, waves of sensation built inside her. She couldn’t hold back any longer, she was going to come. Her body arched up as she cried out Dylan’s name and ecstasy broke over her. The degree of pleasure racing through her body was immeasurable, total bliss. She latched onto his shoulders as her body shook and shuddered beneath his. He drove deeper into her clenching walls and within seconds a groan of pleasure escaped his lips.

  His hot body pressed to hers. Their rapid breaths and her thudding heart were the only sounds she heard in the moments that followed. In time, their breaths returned to normal.

  Dylan rolled off her, pulling her along with him. She snuggled into the crook of his arm and placed her hand against his chest. His heartbeat tapped against her palm, soothing her. His love surrounded her, comforting her, letting her know they had done the right thing, and he was hers as much as she was his.

  * * * *

  Dylan’s eyes popped open and he glanced at his watch. It was just after 1:00 a.m. Not wanting to pry himself from her hold, he debated staying longer, even the whole night, but his logical brain took over and reminded him that he needed to be home before the boys woke. Yes, Cole was there, but what kind of message would he be sending his younger brothers if he stayed out all night.

  His depressed groan woke her.

  She lifted herself onto her elbow and fixed her big-eyed gaze on him. “What’s the matter?”

  He sighed. “As much as I want to stay here with you, I can’t. I have to get home for the boys.”

  She looked at him blankly.

  Yep, here we go. She would leave him just as the few other women he’d dated in the past. They couldn’t understand the importance of his brothers to him, and the level of his responsibility to them. But truth be told, he couldn’t seem to figure out how to split his time between his brothers and his love life.

  Marissa placed the palm of her hand to his cheek, and then she leaned toward him and kissed him softly. “I understand. You’re a good brother. That’s part of what makes me love you so much. I’m so proud of you, and feel so blessed that you allow me to be a part of it.”

  He blinked back the tears forming in his eyes. She probably had no idea how much those words, and her sincerity, meant to him. He worked to form words that wouldn’t shake, it took a minute. “Why don’t you come home with me for the weekend? I’ll bring you back here Sunday night … or Monday morning,” he added, wanting to keep her in his presence for as long as possible.

  A frown fell over her lovely face. “I can’t. I have a club meeting in the morning. I’m heading up the fundraiser so I have to be there, and then I have a study group scheduled in the afternoon.”

  “Maybe I could pick you up after your study group?” Did he really sound that desperate?

  A full smile took over her. “I’d like that.”

  Marissa laid back down and quickly fell asleep. Dylan hung around a bit longer just staring at her angelic face, and inhaling her tantalizing scent that always reminded him of a fresh spring morning. Why had he waited so long to make his move? The incalculable depth of love resonating in him was more than he bargained for. He couldn’t seem to pry himself from her bed, but he had no choice.

  He carefully slid out from under the covers and she didn’t even stir, not even while he dressed. Before he left, he crouched down next to her bed and ran his fingers lightly over her soft, silky strands of hair that looked like a sheet of gold lying over her pillow.

  Dylan slipped out of her room, locking the door behind him. He headed down the long narrow corridor to the parking lot. He had just stepped through the exterior glass doors when he noticed a male couple walking hand-in-hand toward him. They were laughing about something, then they stopped and kissed. As he neared them his heart plummeted into his stomach. The men parted and Terry caught Dylan’s stare. Guilt flashed in Terry’s gaze. It was followed by a look of terror. Terry dropped his partner’s hand and quickly stepped away from him.

  Guilt? Why did Terry look guilty? One of two things was happening here, Terry and Marissa broke up because he was gay, or they were never an item in the first place and she lied to him. Though he wanted to deny it, in his heart, Dylan immediately knew which it was. But why lie to him? Was it to make him jealous? That didn't make sense.

  “It’s not what it looks like,” Terry insisted, as he stepped closer to him.

  Judging from the disappointed look on the other man’s face, Dylan knew that was a lie.

  “Really, then what is it?” Dylan asked.

  Terry sucked in an audible breath and blew it out. "Marissa didn't mean to—"

  "Mean to what?" Terry coming to Marissa's defense only reinforced Dylan's thought that they had never been a couple. "Just tell me why?"

  Terry's gaze landed on the ground and he stood silent.

  Though part of him wanted an answer, Dylan decided he had already heard enough and had nothing more to say. He continued toward his truck and headed home. The thought of Marissa’s deceit and betrayal was overwhelming. What in the hell? Why?

  He wasn’t five miles down the road when his cell phone rang. Marissa’s face popped up on the screen. I guess Terry told her what happened. He ignored her call. The phone rang again and he sent it to voicemail. He couldn’t talk to her now, he was too confused and angry. Was their whole relationship just some sort of sham? It couldn’t have been, not the way she fully gave herself to him hours earlier. It just couldn’t be.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Dylan could hear his brothers messing around in the kitchen, and he could smell sausage frying, but he couldn’t seem to drag his butt out of bed. After the sight of Terry and his man friend, and the realization that came along with it, Dylan was unable to clear his head enough to get even one wink of sleep.

  A knock sounded on his bedroom door. He ignored it but it sounded again.

  “Yeah.”

  “You all right in there? It’s nine o’clock,” Cole’s voice resonated from the other side of the door.

  “So?”

  “You don’t normally sleep this late for one thing.” His brother stepped through the doorway and took a seat at the edge of the bed. A sober look filled his gaze. “I heard you had a tough night.”

  How did he know? He must have talked to Marissa already. Those two were always talking. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Sometimes he wished he was more like Cole, and able to talk about such things, but he wasn’t.

  “Yeah, I figured as much.” Cole hesitated before continuing on, “So, do you want to tell me
why you’re ignoring Marissa’s calls?”

  “What part of me not wanting to talk about it don’t you understand?” Dylan snapped. He wasn’t in the mood for this.

  “None of it. But I thought you should know that she’s pretty upset.”

  Dylan sprang out of bed and slid into a pair of jeans. “Well, I’m a little upset myself and you and she are the last people I want to talk to right now.”

  Cole nodded. “I know, but we meant well.”

  “So you were part of it? Part of the whole charade?”

  Cole swung his gaze to the floor. “It was my idea. Marissa didn’t want to go along with it, but I talked her into it.”

  “You know what? I really don’t care whose idea it was. You both did it. You both lied to me.”

  “Fine, I lied. I’m sorry now that I did it and talked her into it. But if I hadn’t, you’d still be pussyfooting around when we all know darn well you two are meant for each other. You were moping around here like some sad puppy watching her from afar, even before you thought she and Terry were dating. All I really did was open the gate for you. How did you feel last night when you were with her? How did you feel this entire past week?”

  His brother’s curious gaze stayed on him. “What’s the real problem here, Dylan?”

  Dylan just stared at his brother. He was sick of being alone, having nobody to share his life with who was willing to take on his whole family, not just him. Therein, the problem. “I’m not afforded the same luxury you are when it comes to this, women, anything. With every move I make right now I have to consider how it will affect Aric, Braden, Nate, and Luke. What happens when she realizes that everything we do has to revolve around them, they come first? And then she decides the whole package is too much for her? I can’t bear the thought of what her leaving will do to their hearts, especially the younger boys. I just can’t let someone in that easily until I know for sure.”

  Cole blew out a long, slow breath. His eyes softened, any anger from their exchange disappeared. “I just have two things to say to that, number one, not every woman is Tracy, and number two, it’s too late anyhow. I shouldn’t have to tell you this because deep down I know you know, but it’s too late: Marissa is already part of the family. We couldn’t love her more, and I sure as hell know you couldn’t. So, you may as well just stop using the boys as an excuse, stop hiding behind them, and get on with it.”

  Cole’s words repeated in Dylan’s head. Stop using the boys as an excuse, stop hiding behind them. That stung. But his brother was partially right. A part of him was hiding behind the boys, and he was afraid to love and lose. The death of his parents nearly sucked the life out of him, and if it hadn’t been for his younger brothers, and having to look after them, he wasn’t sure he could have made it through another day, especially during the first few months that followed.

  Though next week marked the third anniversary of his parent’s accident and ascension to heaven, he remembered it as clearly as if it had happened yesterday. The hollowness in his heart reminded him on a daily basis. Honestly, he feared loving another person, letting another person into his heart. That would mean just one more opportunity for loss, to have his heart ripped out and torn to shreds.

  “Breakfast is ready,” Nate yelled through the door.

  “We’ll be out in a minute,” Dylan replied as he pulled a shirt over his head.

  Cole stood and stepped toward the door before looking back over his shoulder. “I really am sorry, but I hated to see you throw away what may be something very special, and that you may never find again.”

  By the sober look in his brother’s eyes, Dylan knew Cole meant his apology and sincerely wished him well. “I know. I’ll be out in a minute.”

  Dylan slipped into the bathroom, splashed some water on his face and patted it dry with the towel hanging on the rack. Marissa’s fresh spring scent invaded his nostrils. He inhaled deeper. How was it the towel smelled of her? Yes, she probably used this very towel at some point but it had also likely been washed numerous times and been used by him or his brothers countless times since she’d last used it.

  He closed his eyes and buried his face in the fabric. Visions of Marissa’s lovely face played through his mind. Her bright ocean-blue gaze had been known to swallow him whole on more than one occasion, but last night, during their lovemaking, that gaze pulled him to a depth he hadn’t known possible. Memories of her gentle touch warmed him to the core. His lips tingled at the recollection of her soft lips brushing against his. The sense of fulfillment when their bodies joined as one was incalculable. His mind and body were no longer his own. Nerves rattled his body.

  He pulled his face from the towel and looked at the idiot staring back at him. He needed to find a way to fix this, to get over his fears before he lost Marissa for good. For his being such a jackass to her, ignoring her calls, not giving her a chance to explain.

  Someone knocked lightly on the bathroom door.

  Why? Could he not just get three minutes of peace to sort out his life? Three minutes, that’s all he asked. He opened the door to find Luke standing there with the phone in his tiny hand. A jolt of electricity shot to his heart. He still wasn’t ready to talk to Marissa, and that jerk brother of his, Cole, sent Luke in with the phone knowing he wouldn’t be able to refuse taking it from him, or having his little brother make up some excuse to Marissa as to why he couldn’t take the call.

  Dylan sucked in a breath and reached for the phone.

  “It’s Auntie Mitzi.”

  Shit. The only thing worse right now than taking a call from Marissa was taking a call from his aunt because surely she already knew what was going on.

  He took the phone from Luke. “Thanks, buddy. Go eat your breakfast, I’ll be there in a minute.”

  Luke disappeared.

  Dylan worked to pull the depression and anxiety out of his voice. “Morning, Aunt Mitzi.”

  “Good morning. How are you doing? And don’t give me that everything is fine crap because I know it’s not.”

  If he weren’t so dang depressed right now he would have probably laughed at her candor.

  His silence egged her on. “You know, sweetie...” She hadn’t called him sweetie in a long time. That term was usually reserved for the younger boys. But he was behaving immaturely and the problem was he just couldn’t figure out how to pull out of it. Maybe he was just so embarrassed already he couldn’t think clearly which was sending him on a path that was only making his attitude worse. He sighed. Three of the people he loved most, and who he thought most of their opinions, were the same three people he couldn’t seem to face now out of embarrassment over his behavior. How would he ever regain Marissa’s, Cole’s and his aunt’s respect again? Why could he just not get anything right?

  “I’m sure you probably know that I’ve talked to both Cole and Marissa today, and I want you to know I’m here for you if you want to talk,” his aunt offered.

  “I know.”

  “Just like your father. A man of few words.”

  He’d heard that before, and secretly it brought tears to his eyes and made him proud.

  “So, do you want to talk?”

  He wasn’t sure how to answer her. In fact, he wasn’t sure of anything anymore. He did want to talk, yet at the same time he didn’t. What he’d give to just back up a few days, weeks, months, aw heck, how about years, and get a do-over.

  “Dylan?”

  He blew out a breath. “Yeah, I’m here. I feel like such a moron.”

  His aunt laughed softly, but it wasn’t a laughing at him laugh, it was more of a been there done that reassuring chuckle.

  “Aww, sweetie, don’t we all at times? You certainly aren’t alone.”

  “Good to know I’m not the only jackass in the world.”

  “Oh the stories I could tell you, but those aren’t important now. What’s important is what you plan on doing from this point forward.”

  “I don’t know, I’ve been thinking. I know it's not all h
er fault. I kind of pushed her into this, didn't I?”

  His Aunt Mitzi's slight hesitation let him know she at least partially agreed.

  “Can I offer some advice?”

  He was surprised she asked, advice was her thing, and he always welcomed it because he knew she gave it out of love. “Yes.”

  “Don’t overanalyze this. Chuck your logic out the window and just feel." She paused for a second before continuing, "I recall giving this same advice to your dad once, and he married your mom, and look how beautiful that turned out.” Her voice shook and trailed off as she spoke. She missed her brother and sister-in-law.

  The mere mention of his parents still choked him up. He worked to swallow the oversized lump in his throat.

  “Dylan, this is easily fixable right now. Marissa’s upset because you’re not taking her calls and won’t talk to her so she can apologize for what she led you to believe about her and Terry. She’s not upset with you. She's beating herself up for what she did, probably as much as you are, if not more. She needs your forgiveness. It will break that sweet girl’s heart if she doesn’t get it.”

  He wondered if his aunt knew she was making him feel more like a heel than ever. The last thing he wanted was for the woman he loved to be upset.

  “Cole said he talked to you a few minutes ago and you seemed less likely to kill him by the end of the conversation than at the beginning.”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  “So you’ve forgiven your brother, yet you won’t talk to Marissa?”

  It sounded kind of harsh when his aunt put it that way. She always cut to the chase.