Pick Your Poison

by Lauren Child

  And if she wasn’t much mistaken, they were California coordinates.

  In fact – she would put money on it – they were most probably the exact coordinates of the Little Seven store where the man had picked up the first Taste Twister bottle.

  Was she right about this? Only one way to find out.

  She began to run.

  RUBY SAT AT HER DESK IN HER BEDROOM AND FLICKED THROUGH HER ATLAS. It was a sizeable volume and the most complete atlas available on the market. She had put it on her Christmas list when she was just four, and Santa didn’t disappoint. In fact, he made sure he delivered an updated volume every other year.

  At the back of the atlas was a section on longitudes and latitudes.

  Different regions of the world were shown on each spread, with the vertical and horizontal lines marked and numbered.

  She turned the pages till she got to western America. Then she traced her finger down the page.

  Longitude 32 …

  Latitude -117 …

  Her finger stopped.

  It was over Twinford.

  She nodded to herself. The atlas didn’t give enough detail – she’d have to check the precise location with Blacker, or someone else at Spectrum – but she knew what the other numbers would give: the address of the store where the man bought the first bottle.

  OK, she thought. So if the billboard gave a location, then maybe the bottle gives a location too.

  She picked it up and peered through the glass at the reverse of the label. FOUR GREAT TASTES SINCE 1922. And that weird mandala shape. She frowned. It reminded her of something. Something—

  There was a knock at the door. Ruby put the bottle aside.

  ‘Yeah?’ she said.

  The door opened and there was Hitch. He looked … not himself. A little drawn. A little pale.

  HITCH: ‘You ever study kung fu, kid?’

  Ruby almost fell off her chair.

  RUBY: ‘What makes you ask that?’

  HITCH: ‘OK, let’s say for the sake of speed, I know you did. Let’s say I know you were a black belt.’

  Ruby said nothing – and then:

  RUBY: ‘How do you know, anyway?’

  HITCH: ‘I read it in your file.’

  RUBY: ‘What file?’

  HITCH: ‘The one Spectrum holds; don’t make like you didn’t think there was one.’

  RUBY: ‘Of course I know there’s a file, LB’s mentioned it enough times, I just didn’t think this would be in there is all.’

  HITCH: ‘Everything’s in there.’

  RUBY: ‘I doubt that.’

  Hitch raised an eyebrow.

  HITCH: ‘You want a bet?’

  RUBY: ‘My dad told me not to gamble.’

  HITCH: ‘Very wise.’

  RUBY: ‘But I happen to know Mrs Digby plays poker at least every week and does pretty well on it.’

  HITCH: ‘That’s gambling for you; you never can tell.’

  She looked him dead in the eye.

  RUBY: ‘So you know what happened?’

  HITCH: ‘I know you broke a kid’s arm once.’

  Ruby said nothing.

  HITCH: ‘I know you pretty much smooshed his nose too.’

  RUBY: ‘Yeah, well, it wasn’t much of a nose.’

  HITCH: ‘I bet he was pretty attached to it.’

  RUBY: ‘Yeah, and in all the usual places.’

  HITCH: ‘So why did you feel the need to flatten his nice little snout?’

  RUBY: ‘He wasn’t such a nice little kid.’

  HITCH: ‘True, he wasn’t little, and he wasn’t much of a kid either – what was he, 6’ 1” and ten years older than you? You were seven, is that right?’

  RUBY: ‘I was trying to stop him from hurting someone. Someone who didn’t stand a chance.’

  HITCH: ‘So it was all on you?’

  RUBY: ‘Someone had to do something. He was dangerous.’

  HITCH: ‘You were pretty dangerous too; this guy could have wound up with more than just a broken nose.’

  RUBY: ‘I didn’t intend to break his nose.’

  HITCH: ‘But you went too far?’

  RUBY: ‘It’s hard to know what’s too far.’

  HITCH: ‘And this is why your parents hate you fighting?’

  RUBY: ‘It’s the one thing they’re pretty serious about – that and good manners.’

  HITCH: ‘No more kung fu.’

  RUBY: ‘No more kung fu.’

  HITCH: ‘Maybe you just needed the right teacher.’

  Ruby frowned. ‘Why do I get the feeling you want me to take up kung fu again?’

  ‘Because I do,’ said Hitch.

  ‘But you’ve already got me learning aikido,’ said Ruby. ‘I took care of those goons, didn’t I?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Hitch, ‘but they were amateurs. Aikido is a smart way to defeat a gorilla using his own gorilla strength against him. But for taking on someone smart and trained? Someone who doesn’t play it by the rules? No good at all.’

  ‘You think I’m going to have to take on a smart, trained cheat some time soon?’

  He looked her square in the eye. ‘I hope not kid, but I wouldn’t bet against it.’

  ‘So you want me to study kung fu again … just in case?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘You think I might be in danger?’

  ‘Kid, when you’re in our line of work things can happen, unexpected things.’

  ‘We’re talking life-threatening things?’

  ‘Maybe.’

  ‘But you can’t guard against every eventuality.’

  ‘You might as well have the odds stacked in your favour.’

  ‘And this sudden desire for me to become the kung fu kid has nothing to do with the Australian woman making a reappearance? Or the Spectrum mole? I mean, if there is a Spectrum mole.’

  ‘I can’t say.’

  Ruby sighed. ‘Are you trying to give me sleepless nights?’

  ‘Quite the contrary,’ said Hitch. ‘If I’m honest with you, I for one might sleep a whole lot better if I thought you were ready for anything – think like a girl scout and be prepared.’

  ‘I don’t think most girl scouts are expecting to run into psychopaths.’

  ‘Put the murderers to one side for a while and just think of it as an assignment,’ said Hitch. ‘Here. I got something for you.’ He took a small white business card from his inside jacket pocket, handed it to Ruby and said, ‘Your problem was never kung fu itself, kid, it was about discipline.’

  The card was embossed with an origami pattern. Ruby turned it over and saw printed in red a name: Jen Yu, Yellow Wind-Dragon kung fu master.

  ‘She can teach you what you don’t know,’ said Hitch.

  ‘Why do I get the feeling I’m in the dark here?’ said Ruby.

  Hitch shrugged. ‘It’s a secret agency,’ he said. ‘The clue is in the name.’

  He turned to head back down the stairs but he stopped when Ruby called, ‘Hey, can you find out what these coordinates relate to?’ She handed him a piece of paper on which she had written the numbers from the billboard.

  ‘Why?’ said Hitch.

  ‘Ah, I’ll tell you if I’m right. It might all be seawater and lemon juice.’

  NOT LONG AFTER RUBY ARRIVED AT SCHOOL THE FOLLOWING DAY, she was summoned to the principal’s office. He had a very particular subject he wanted to discuss and he took no time at all bringing it up.

  ‘The fight outside Sunny’s Diner, what can you tell me?’

  Ruby shrugged.

  He asked her a whole lot of questions and she gave him not many answers, at least none of the answers he was hoping for.

  ‘No, I can’t remember.’

  ‘No, I didn’t see.’

  ‘The whole incident’s a blur on account of my getting clonked on the head.’

  He sighed. ‘So you can’t tell me who else was involved in this mindless act of vandalism?’

  ‘I wish I could sir.’

  ‘How
about Del Lasco?’

  ‘Del? I don’t know why you would bring her name up,’ said Ruby.

  ‘Let’s just say a little bird told me.’

  Ruby blinked. Who had told him that?

  ‘Maybe your little bird heard wrong.’

  He sighed again. ‘Very well, Redfort. Dismissed.’

  By the time she had returned to class, Del Lasco was in the hot seat.

  ‘What’s going on?’ hissed Red. ‘Are you in more trouble?’

  ‘I’m not sure that’s possible,’ said Ruby.

  But as it turned out, she was very wrong. She knew this for a fact when she saw Del Lasco marching towards her at some speed. For a second, a split second, Ruby thought Del was going to punch her, but once Del got up close and Ruby was able to see her expression more clearly it became obvious that Del appeared injured rather than angry.

  ‘If you felt you had to rat on me then I understand. What I don’t understand is why you couldn’t have warned me,’ said Del. She looked truly injured. ‘I mean, I just need to know when to stop bluffing.’

  ‘I didn’t rat on you,’ said Ruby.

  ‘Really? So you just happen to leave the principal’s office and then I just happen to get called in and he knows I was there?’

  ‘I spoke to him, yeah. But I didn’t say anything.’

  ‘Sure. I can deal with anything, but not standing there like a total bozo lying my head off when they know the truth anyways,’ said Del.

  ‘But I didn’t rat on you,’ repeated Ruby. ‘I don’t rat, and if I did rat then I would tell you my reasons, which in any case I wouldn’t have, because I DON’T rat.’

  ‘So how do they know?’ said Del.

  ‘My guess would be some big mouth busybody like Mr Chester told them.’

  Del’s expression turned from indignant to puzzled. ‘You think? But why now?’

  ‘Maybe he only just figured it out, perhaps he only just found out your name? I don’t know, maybe it was someone else entirely. Let’s face it, there are hundreds of mean-minded folks queuing up to give teenagers a bad rap.’

  ‘You really think that’s it?’

  ‘Yes, I do,’ said Ruby,

  ‘Oh,’ said Del.

  ‘Principal Levine asked me all about it and I said I had no recollection of what transpired due to a bump on the old noodle and smashed up glasses.’

  ‘What did he say?’ asked Del.

  ‘He didn’t like it, but there wasn’t much he could do. So could you just get it through your blockhead skull, I didn’t squeal?’

  ‘Got it,’ said Del. She stuck her hand out and Ruby shook it. ‘Thanks Rube, I appreciate it and sorry for doubting, you know.’

  ‘That’s OK, doubt is an important part of belief.’

  After school, Mouse and Ruby started walking on over to Back-Spin to see if they could get a table. If Sal was on, their chances were good. Soon after they arrived, Elliot walked in.

  ‘How come you got a table?’ he asked. ‘I thought it was all booked out.’

  ‘Ruby’s got in with Sal, the bookings girl, they’re real tight.’

  ‘Nah, it’s Del who’s got all in with her,’ said Ruby. ‘She’s all, “Sal this and Sal that”.’

  ‘You think she thinks Sal’s cooler than you?’ said Elliot.

  Ruby rolled her eyes. ‘What is this, third grade?’

  ‘You envious of her purple Dash sneakers, is that it?’

  ‘My mistake, we seem to be back in kindergarten.’

  ‘He’s trying to wind you up,’ said Mouse.

  ‘Well he’s succeeding,’ said Ruby.

  ‘So did you rat?’ asked Elliot.

  ‘What are you talking about?’ said Ruby.

  ‘Del,’ said Elliot, ‘did you rat on her?’

  ‘Not this again! Have I ever ratted on anyone?’ said Ruby.

  Elliot didn’t need to think about it. ‘No, but did you?’

  ‘Course she didn’t bozo,’ said Mouse. ‘If it were you being interrogated then it’s a probable certainty, but Ruby would never give up an ally.’

  ‘But someone did, right?’ said Elliot.

  ‘Why would she take the punishment, miss the Explorer event, and then rat on Del?’ asked Mouse.

  ‘I was just testing,’ said Elliot. ‘It’s what the cops do; they just ask the same question over and over until the suspect is so worn down that they just admit the truth.’

  Mouse clapped her hand to her forehead. ‘Jeepers Elliot.’

  ‘He’s right,’ said Ruby, ‘get ’em mad, get ’em confused, if they are lying then they get caught in their own tangled web. It’s easy to trip people up this way.’

  ‘It will be Vapona,’ said Mouse. ‘She wants to set you two against each other so she’s spreading this rumour that you told Principal Levine on Del when of course it was her.’

  Ruby thought this highly unlikely.

  ‘Vapona would never do that. It’s a dangerous game to point the finger at an enemy when they can turn around and point the finger back. If Del goes down then Bugwart gets dragged down with her. Vapona’s a lot of things, but stupid ain’t one.’

  ‘I wonder who it was then,’ said Elliot.

  As it turned out, they didn’t need to wait for an answer because Del walked in through the door of the table tennis cafe and told them straight out.

  She was in no doubt as to who had got her in the dog house. It was not Vapona ‘Bugwart’ Begwell, it was not Mr Chester. ‘It’s Brenda Skelton,’ declared Del.

  Actually there was no way of proving it was Brenda Skelton, since the call had been anonymous. It had been made to the principal himself, from someone who claimed to have seen Del fighting outside Sunny’s Diner. Actually, Principal Levine had told Mrs Lasco that the voice had sounded like it belonged to a young person, a teenager perhaps, but there was no way to confirm this either.

  Mrs Lasco was no pushover and she knew exactly what was going on here.

  ‘You don’t want to cross my mom,’ said Del proudly, ‘she doesn’t suffer fools.’ Her mother, it seemed, had picked up the phone to Principal Levine and told him a thing or two about anonymous callers: ‘Either this person comes out of the woodwork and accuses my daughter to her face or they can mind their own darned beeswax.’

  Principal Levine, on reflection, decided to drop the whole thing since he agreed he had: ‘no solid evidence other than one person’s word against another’s’ and he didn’t ‘make a habit of playing fast and loose with justice’.

  Ruby had her own problems; unlike Del’s, there were no anonymous accusations, but she did have a feeling somewhere deep in her gut that someone, somewhere, wanted to see her fall. Why else would Hitch urge her to brush up on her kung fu kicks?

  Wake up and smell the banana milk, Redfort, someone’s out to get you.

  As a result, though her curfew had been lifted, she wasn’t exactly feeling in the right state of mind for freedom. More than anything, she needed to get home. She made her excuses and left Del chatting happily to Sal about the injustice which had almost befallen her.

  As Ruby walked back down Amster, she felt increasingly uneasy. Was it simply paranoia brought on by the day’s events, or was someone watching her? She looked around but could see no one. Even so she broke into a run when she reached the green, and then a sprint, arriving on her doorstep out of breath, adrenaline pumping.

  Slamming the door behind her, she went straight on up to her room – no snack, no chat with Mrs Digby – and picked up the bottle from her desk. As she did so she saw a note from Hitch. It said:

  That thing you asked me? It’s a convenience store called the Little Seven, in downtown Twinford. That mean anything to you?

  So she’d been right about the coordinates.

  She hoped she was going to be right about this next bit too.

  Carefully she peeled off the label and turned it over to properly examine the back. She’d known it reminded her of something … and now suddenly she knew what that was.


  ‘Where’s a road map?’ She was looking at Bug, but he had no idea what she was on about. ‘Mom’s car!’ She leapt to her feet, ready to sprint downstairs before realising her mother would have taken it to work. She tapped her fingers on the desk. ‘The downstairs bathroom!’ she shouted.

  Bug began to wag his tail; he didn’t know what was going on, but Ruby seemed excited about something. She raced down the two flights of stairs. Bug followed close behind. When they arrived in the hall, he picked up his leash in his mouth and was confused when, rather than open the front door again, Ruby dodged into the small guest bathroom. Her mother had had it wallpapered with a scaled-up map of Twinford, showing all the road junctions. The tasteful of Twinford might doubt its success as a piece of interior decorating, but many a guest had found it a very practical way of planning their journey home.

  Ruby scanned the walls, trying to find the part of the map she needed. It turned out it was above the toilet and Ruby had to stand on the seat to reach it. She studied the map, tracing the roads until she reached the concert hall where she’d encountered the goons.

  It was when she held up the label printed with the strange logo that she saw it. The shape almost exactly mirrored the layout of the roads in the College Town district. The eight-pointed star at the logo’s centre was the exact same shape as that of Star Park.

  This wasn’t simply a logo: this was a road map.

  RUBY SPRINTED TO HER DAD’S STUDY AND GRABBED A PENCIL AND A PIECE OF PAPER. Then she headed back to the bathroom. Working quickly, she redrew the shape and then circled the concert hall.

  There it was, at the intersection of four roads.

  OK Redfort, think. If the logo is a map then what does it use for coordinates? She let her mind go empty, and just gazed at the label.

  At the logo.

  At the caption: FOUR GREAT TASTES SINCE 1922.

  Four.

  Tastes.

  Four.

  Four!

  How could she have been so blind? For the final answer she’d drawn a tesseract – a 4-dimensional cube. To fake it, she’d had to draw its shadow in 3D. Actually a 2D picture of the 3D shadow! Now she sketched it again.

  But if you turn a shape then its shadow changes. So what if she drew the shadow from a different angle? As she turned the shape in her mind she suddenly saw that by twisting the perspective you would end up with … the logo on the bottle.