At Home in Nature

by Rob Wood

  Some of the later speakers at the wake, who had spent time with him more recently, mentioned that Bill had been having some health problems, especially with his teeth. Friends had offered to help pay for treatment and yet Bill stubbornly refused to accept help or go anywhere near a doctor or dentist. This perspective inevitably led to the dramatic conclusion of the saga, the unanswered mystery which was now at the forefront of everybody’s mind.

  “How or why could anyone who loved life so much and was so well loved, possibly have taken his own life?”

  Although Lori and their son Westerly did not speak publicly at the wake, I later had a chance to chat at great length with them in private. From our conversation and our comparing of notes we pretty well agreed on a possible answer to that mystery. To do so we had to indulge in some amateur common sense psychology. Against what must have been tremendous emotional trauma from the rejection of his mother, Bill’s seemingly casual and laid-back manner disguised a steel-hard emotional defence mechanism that explained both his extreme self-reliance and his extreme reluctance, amounting to incapability, for long-term, deep emotional attachments. Lori confided that this trait was compounded in mid-life when they had agreed to go their separate ways. This amounted to another emotional rejection, which served to compound Bill’s self-reliance.

  Then Westerly told me that in his teenage years Bill tried persuade him to join him on his trips. Though Westerly enjoyed the lifestyle for a while, he decided it was not his path. Once again, apparently, Bill took this very hard, effectively seeing it as another rejection. Bill’s response, as was his habit, was to move on even farther out.

  If this hypothesis is true, then it’s just a short stretch of the imagination to see that Bill, having experienced the effects of his body failing and facing the prospect of old age dotage, complete with dependence on other people or, even worse, society’s institutions, chose instead what for him would be the logical, consistent, courageous and honourable way out, the way of the Samurai warrior.

  So, now being the only one of the four original pact members who has survived to tell the tale, I have come to agree with John Donne: “No man is an island entire of itself. Therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.”

  -20-

  WHIRLPOOLS IN THE TIDE

  “What has nature taught you about what it means to be human at this time?”

  NOW, WHENEVER I CATCH MYSELF worrying about the world, even though there is more to worry about than ever, I take a deep breath, look out of my living room window and watch the whirlpools unfolding in the flow of the tidal rapids. They gradually emerge from the spinning effect of the current boundaries between the main flow and the back-eddies and momentarily adopt a distinctive form and character before quickly enfolding themselves back into the flow of the main current. Their existence as separate entities, like our individual selves, is momentary if not illusionary; their individual character and behaviour, a mere ripple in the great flow of the tide of life.

  Then, amazingly, approximately every six hours, the tide itself changes course and flows the opposite way, just another ripple in an even bigger swirling fluctuation of universal energy, all of which seems to know exactly what it is doing; energy fields within energy fields; knowingness within knowingness; universal consciousness.

  Even though the whirlpools undoubtedly play a part in determining the specific unfolding of the current, unlike human beings they don’t try to control it.

  “Does that not suggest that we have no free will?”

  NOT EXACTLY. RATHER IT SUGGESTS that our will is more likely to be manifest and sustained when it resonates directly with the surroundings, thereby supporting that particular environment’s ability to play its part in the whole continuity of life. Then our consciousness becomes one with the life-sustaining will of non-local or universal consciousness.

  “What exactly is universal consciousness?”

  IN MY MODEST UNDERSTANDING OF science, at the turn of the 20th century a fundamental disagreement existed in physics as to whether light was made of particles or waves. The famous double-slit experiment of quantum physics proved not only that it was potentially both but also that the particles themselves were choosing which aspect (particle or wave) would materialize at any particular moment. As well as being individual entities, subatomic particles can also simultaneously be waves of possibility in a background field of potential energy. Different particles have varying degrees of inclination to one aspect of their split personality or the other and even seem to pop back and forth, from one to the other, depending on whatever else is going on around them, including whether or not they are being observed.

  When energy systems interfere with each other, waves of similar frequency (in phase) overlap and resonate, forming waves of higher amplitude, while those with dissimilar frequencies (out of phase) cancel each other out. The higher energy harmonic convergence of their wave functions enables each of the subatomic particles to know what the others are doing. The influence of the relationship spreads instantaneously and indeterminately throughout a background field of potential possibilities. Like birds in a flock or fish in a shoal all turning together at the same time, or young lovers merging together, their individuality is enfolded into relationship. Not only do the parts behave like a whole; they become whole. Particle aspect is the material thing that does the relating and wave aspect is the relationship.

  Individual phenomena are only significant in the way they contain and reflect the whole and vice versa. Just as easily, wave aspect can and does (for whatever reason, including being observed) unfold back out of the background field into individual material form. This continuous synergistic relationship of parts knowing how to contribute and reflect larger wholes constitutes the background field of universal consciousness: Relational Holism.

  A World in a grain of sand …

  Eternity in an hour.

  —Blake

  “And what does this all mean for society at this time?”

  NO DOUBT MY UNDERSTANDING OF this mysterious and highly elusive subject is exceedingly sketchy, and even the physicists have trouble articulating the precise implications, but there seems to be a consensus that when we observe or measure reality we change it. Furthermore, how we change it depends, among other things, on the attitude, state of mind, intention and belief of the observer. In some significant degree, we participate in creating our own reality. It seems that discordant frequencies in the energy field of our attitude, such as anger, dominance or judgment, encourage particle types of response in the energy fields of our surroundings. Harmonious vibrations in our attitude, such as empathy, partnership or listening, encourage wave types of response in our surroundings. So we should be very careful what we wish for and what we choose to believe.

  “And what do you choose to believe?”

  AFTER A LIFETIME OF EXPERIENCE living, working, playing and reflecting close to nature I believe that I am made of essentially the same material as the rest of the universe (star dust) and my body/mind duality is a reflection of its quantum wave/particle duality. The atoms and molecules of my brain and body are the particle aspect of myself and my mind is the wave aspect – the relationship I have with my internal and external environments. The “I” that I am is the ever-present observer of the internal dialogue between all my quantum sub-selves with their fluctuating boundaries, which sometimes exert their own identity (particle aspect) and sometimes relate and merge with each other and with my social and natural surroundings (wave aspect). The more integrated, balanced and calm (“together”) the energy frequencies of my sub-selves are, the more correlation there is between the outside world and my inner feelings, mood and imagination, the wave aspect of myself. The more open and clear my body/mind is, the more access I have to and the more I am empowered by the unified wisdom of universal consciousness in the surrounding natural environment. It resonates directly with my inner feelings, telling my cells how to behave and how to be. This phenomenon is m
ost powerful and evident in pristine wilderness.

  One impulse from a vernal wood

  May teach you more of man

  Of moral evil and of good,

  Than all the sages can.

  —Wordsworth

  This internal and external attunement could explain what board riders and climbers mean by the “Natural High” and “being in the Zone.” When we answer the call for adventure, follow our bliss and ride the wave of uncertainty, it seems the universe opens its doors of possibility to us. When we are so present in the moment, so in tune with ourselves and our environment that the surfer becomes the wave or the climber becomes the mountain, we are possessed of performance-enhancing confidence and a euphoric sense of unity and love. The overall experience dramatically extends our limits of what is possible. We discover that our true self (our soul) is something much bigger than we had previously been led to believe – part of the spontaneous evolution and natural selection of life. This could account for the three truly extraordinary events of my life: climbing the Nose of El Capitan, helping to save BC Parks and surviving a dissected aorta. It might also explain why we climb mountains.

  The main obstacle to allowing this expansion of self to occur and maximize our potential capabilities, both individually and collectively, is inappropriate cultural conditioning. In order to procure agreement among large numbers of people, human cultures have created stories, legends, myths, belief systems, ideologies, religions, cosmologies, paradigms and mindsets. These imaginary mental constructs (maps of reality) have induced specific subconscious and automatic behaviour patterns to protect people from familiar hazards in their environment (the territory). These collective strategies have traditionally been very successful in keeping tigers and enemies away from our homes and fingers away from fires. They have also allowed massive increases in population, especially in recent years. An extraordinarily high percentage of contemporary behaviour is now considered to be automatic subconscious conditioning. Driving cars is a classic example.

  When confronted with rapid and unknown changes in the social and natural environment, however, these programmed responses can easily become obsolete and dangerously counterproductive. Civilizations have collapsed because they failed to adjust their beliefs (myths) to drastic changes in the environment that they themselves had created. This is increasingly the case in modern society, where vested interest in the status quo is preventing necessary adaptation to rapid technological, social and climatic changes. Brainwashing and subconscious propaganda on the grand scale enforce the prevalent mindset that we are individual objects, separate from and superior to each other and the rest of the world. We can therefore extract, reduce and modify (rape and pillage) the world to suit our ever-expanding need and greed without any cost to ourselves. We are led to believe that pursuit of wealth and instant gratification are the singular sources of meaning in our lives; reality exists out there regardless of what we think or do; we are powerless to do anything about it so what does anything matter; individual self is all that we are – our true self. Consequently the mainstream culture of contemporary civilization is stuck in the adolescent stage of development (ego), incapable of accepting adult responsibility for its relationship with other beings and the rest of the planet. We are in danger of creating an artificial, soulless, fragmented and violent world that is sadly devoid of both conscious brain power and the instinctive ability to survive – ironically, the very attributes that are supposed to have made us superior and separate in the first place.

  It’s not that particle reality is wrong and wave reality is right; both can and do happen simultaneously all the while, like yin and yang, two sides of the same coin, possibly correlating to two sides of the brain. In everyday life the wave aspect of self can bring meaning and joy to our lives. Most of us are in some degree empowered by our relationships with others and our internal and external environments, as evidenced in the arts, sport, sex, imagination, intuition and the placebo effect. Similarly, other creatures such as salmon and pigeons find their way home, and elephants break their chains and run uphill to avoid tsunamis. But because wave aspect energy is subtle and interacts with our subjective reality and is therefore indeterminate and cannot be measured, it does not fit into the dominant objective and mechanistic cosmology of the official contemporary belief system and has been largely marginalized and ignored. However, to fully know who we are, to fulfill our potential and to survive the challenges we face, we must redress the particle/wave imbalance by consciously reasserting the critically important wave aspect of our being.

  “How do we do that?”

  IN ANCIENT AND ABORIGINAL CULTURES, rites of passage (vision quests, walkabouts and heroic journeys) deliberately exposed individual adolescents to the fear and uncertainty of wildness with minimal cultural protection – to face whatever reality actually exists out there as opposed to what is supposed to be. This challenge required initial courage to honestly confront the demons in both the external and internal environments, but once committed to, it invoked the fight or flight response. This fundamental survival instinct short-circuited subconscious cultural conditioning, heightened awareness and provided extraordinary physical capability. The transformational experience of overcoming the adversity (slaying the demons, climbing the mountain or finding the way out of the labyrinth) inspired visions or stories to take back to the tribe. Once interpreted by the elders, these new visions and stories helped the prevalent culture adapt to ongoing changes in the environment.

  It’s quite possible that “high risk” sports and adventure education are modern substitutes for these ancient rituals and have some effect in mitigating the self-destructive degeneration of society. Unfortunately the transformational wave aspect of the stories are all too easily and often co-opted by the particle aspects of measured competition, egotism and litigation. Plus the wilderness, the source of so much of the inspiration, is rapidly being diluted and tamed.

  A simpler way of manifesting the wave aspect of reality is by practising mindfulness. Paying conscious attention in general and focusing on breathing in particular, we can put the particle aspect of ourselves on hold and experience directly the essential relationship between our external and internal environments (wave aspect). As well as alleviating suffering by helping to reduce habitual craving for something different from what actually exists (as in Buddhism), this connection opens our body/minds to the consciousness of the environment, allowing it to guide our behaviour toward the critical path of natural selection and spontaneous evolution of life.

  I have been teaching mindfulness as a way of staying safe and staying found in the mountains for many years. Now Parkinson’s disease is forcing me to practice more diligently what I have been preaching – conscious awareness of my body movement, such as coordinating the rhythm of arms and legs and very careful choice of where to put my feet. When I am tired and not paying attention I stoop, drag my right foot and don’t swing my arms: the classic Parkinson’s shuffle. By paying conscious attention, I can walk quite normally. This requires a huge amount of mental effort and discipline. It can be significantly assisted by loving support.

  I believe mindfulness happens and can be encouraged to happen more often in the less extreme circumstances of everyday life, whenever we are relaxed enough for our body/minds to openly and unconditionally engage with the ambience of our surroundings. This could explain those magical moments that make life more meaningful and joyful: an infant’s smile; a lover’s touch; creation and appreciation of art, music and dance; a cat purring on our lap; a decent conversation or a good belly laugh – when we are fully present in the moment and experiencing unconditional love.

  “How can mindfulness help change the world?”

  IT SEEMS THE HUMAN RACE is at a critical crossroads. For our species to survive we must abandon the brainwashed allegiance to obsolete and erroneous imaginary mental constructs of reality which perpetuate increasing centralization of wealth, atmospheric pollution and destruction of biodiv
ersity. Only then can we commit ourselves, both as individuals and collectively, to engaging with and being partners in the self-regulating evolution and interconnected flow of life. A new understanding of who and what we are is required: a new paradigm, a new cosmology, a new and more accurate map of reality that will bring us closer to the mystery of the truth.

  The realization that we can and do create our own reality empowers each individual to choose what kind of world we want and requires us to be more consciously aware of the consequences of our behaviour. Increasing the wave aspect of our being and maximizing our capability to survive requires that we allow mindfulness to happen between our thoughts and our actions. We need to slow down enough to practise looking before we leap, with more carefully considered decisions and less automatic, compulsive and blind regurgitation of ideology and self-righteous condescension. We are all entitled to our own beliefs, but we can never be so sure that our truth is “the truth” that it gives us the right to impose it on others. In the new holistic paradigm, mutual respect fostering diverse and complex beliefs that resonate in symbiosis with the social and natural surroundings are more likely to lead to the truth. The way we consciously choose to relate to the other is a reflection of our own truth. We should do as we would be done by.

  With governments abdicating their social contracts to protect citizens, people are finding more direct ways to confront the dangers of pollution, discrimination and oppression. Substituting creative work and recreation that is more mindful of being in this place and this moment could provide a cheaper, more effective and less environmentally damaging alternative to material aggrandizement as a source of meaningful happiness. Mindfulness is rapidly becoming more popular and is even being taught in schools. Can it catch on in time to produce a more accurate, relevant and sustainable map of reality? A web of interconnected, dynamic relationships rather than separate things? Being and becoming rather than doing, having and getting? Living, working and playing with nature rather than against her? Accessing and maintaining the critical path of survival of our species?