Spark of Desire ; All for You

by Sheryl Lister

  Aria frowned. “I’m so serious. I’m the only one here today, and I need to get something down on canvas. Can we schedule lunch for next week?”

  Avery looked up from her phone, where she’d been typing something. She searched Aria’s eyes. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” Aria crossed her arms over her chest and blew a stray hair from her face. “Just busy and preoccupied.”

  All week, Aria had read the posts in their ladies’ group thread on Facebook with interest, hoping to find out what family issue had happened with Myles. But none of the women had mentioned anything sad or important happening. Which meant he was more than likely giving her the brush-off. Yet, Aria had a hard time reconciling that with the man who’d pursued her so relentlessly. Sure, she’d given it up on the first date, but she’d never expected him to ghost her. Why did he do this to me?

  “You’ve been quiet in the group, too,” Bailee said. “Are you sure you’re good?”

  “I’m dating Myles,” Aria blurted out before she could stop herself. “I mean. I went out on a few dates with him.”

  Bailee and Avery stared at her, mouths open and eyes wide with surprise.

  “We went out.” Aria paced the room, flailing her arms around. “To lunch at Applebee’s, then on an impromptu walk around here. Then, he took me to Baker’s Keyboard Lounge for dinner and jazz. We went to his place, and...” She swallowed. “He played for me. Then, he got this call from the hospital and took me home and I haven’t heard from him since.”

  “What?” Bailee said. “He ghosted you?”

  Avery patted Bailee’s shoulder. “Stop, Bai.” She approached Aria and squeezed her arms. “Let’s order lunch in here. Okay?”

  Aria nodded. “Okay.” As much as she hadn’t wanted to burden them, she felt a weight lift off her as they surrounded her with their support and affection.

  Half an hour later, Aria, Avery and Bailee were seated in her private studio, eating Chinese. They’d dined in relative silence for a few minutes when Bailee set her carton of orange chicken down on a nearby table.

  “I’m sorry, I can’t not talk about this,” Bailee said. “When did you decide to go out with Myles?”

  Aria stared at her shrimp-fried rice, using her fork to turn over one shrimp after another. “A few weeks ago, after the exhibition. He bought the Phoenix.”

  With wide eyes, Avery asked, “Seriously?”

  Nodding, Aria said, “Yes. He asked me out. I agreed to lunch. He’s very charming. He was different.”

  “And lunch turned to dinner?” Bai asked. “At Baker’s?”

  “Yes. And before that, he showed up here and took me on a walk, bought me Italian ice.”

  “You got busy with him.” Avery sipped on her tea. “What night was this?”

  “Friday.”

  “Friday,” Avery said. “That’s the night Ms. Pennie went to the hospital.”

  “Oh, yeah,” Bailee agreed. “Ian had been trying to reach him all night. We were there for hours, waiting with her.”

  Hope crept into Aria’s bones at the possible excuse for not reaching out. If this Ms. Pennie was important to Myles and she was in the hospital, that was an understandable reason for his silence. Maybe. “Who is Ms. Pennie?”

  Avery and Bailee exchanged glances. “She’s a friend to the family. Myles is extremely close to her.”

  “Have you seen him?” Aria asked. “Is he okay?”

  Bailee nodded. “I saw him yesterday. He’s okay.”

  When Bailee didn’t say anything else, Aria sighed. “Good to know. Thanks for telling me.”

  “Aria, don’t assume that he’s avoiding you.” Avery patted Aria’s leg. “Myles is not like the other brothers. He’s very private, and often retreats within. I’ve been around them for years, and I have never seen him react to anything. I’m surprised he played for you, because he doesn’t do that usually.”

  “That’s what he told me.” Aria stood and stalked over to the trash can, pitching her food inside. “But this isn’t okay. It’s not cool for him to sleep with me and then just fall off the face of the earth.”

  Bailee jumped up and approached her. “I don’t think that’s what he’s doing.”

  “You don’t know that,” Aria countered. “I get it, though. He’s your family and you want to defend him. But I can’t. Granted, it was my fault for sleeping with him so fast, but he’s wrong as hell.”

  “I agree.” Avery joined them. “He should have called.”

  “Exactly.” Aria started cleaning, picking up pieces of paper off the floor, throwing away empty cartons of food and a stale bag of chips. “I should have followed my first mind with him, and I didn’t. My bad. I won’t do it again.”

  “Aria, stop.” Bailee pried a balled-up piece of paper from Aria’s fist. “Myles isn’t a jerk. He might be closed off, but he wouldn’t hurt you on purpose.” She looked at Avery. “You know that.”

  Avery shrugged. “I know that. But he still messed up.”

  “You’re not helping,” Bailee muttered.

  “She’s only saying what I’ve already thought a million times since we went out.” Tears welled up in her eyes and Aria cursed her emotions. “I get it, though. I’m not his type. He probably was attracted to me because I was different.”

  Avery shook her head. “Now, I’m going to have to step in. As wrong as Myles is, I don’t believe that he would do something like that. I do believe that you should talk to him.”

  “You definitely need to speak with Myles,” Bailee agreed.

  “What’s the point?” Aria flopped down on the couch. “I’ve been through this before. There is always some guy who is attracted to my seemingly wild side, who wants to be with me to scratch an itch. At least, Myles isn’t after my money or fame.” She shrugged. “That’s something.”

  Bailee sat next to her. “Why would you say that?”

  Aria wondered if she could confide in these ladies. Really confide and tell them about some of her past struggles in relationships. Yes, she’d talked her issues out with Brent, but he was right when he mentioned she needed girlfriends to bounce things off. Because there were some things that, as a man, he would never understand.

  “It seems impossible considering I haven’t known him long at all, but I really liked him.” Aria sucked in a deep breath, surprised that she’d said it out loud. “After every warning sign, after all of my reservations, I find myself thinking about him all the time.”

  Avery sat on a table across from her, a soft smile on her face. “That’s beautiful.”

  “No, it’s not. Because I shouldn’t want him. He’s everything that I told myself I wouldn’t do again. I’ve spent a lot of years in relationships with men who pretended to love me for me but, in the end, wanted to change me. Or they realized that I’m not who they would want to bring home to their families. I can’t do that again.”

  “Do we know that’s what Myles is doing, though?” Bailee asked. “You’re making a decision based on one thing. For all we know, he could have just had a really bad week. Maybe he didn’t want to bring you into it? Maybe it slipped his mind to call? We can’t assume that he’s decided you’re not who he wants in his life.”

  “Bai is right.” Avery leaned forward. “Myles is one of the good guys. That much I know. I can’t say he’s not an idiot for not calling, but I know he wouldn’t take advantage of you like that.”

  The weird part was, Aria felt that in her bones. Still, the evidence, the radio silence over the past week all pointed to one thing. As good as he seemed to be, he was inconsiderate. If he was at work or dealing with Ms. Pennie and had forgotten to call her, she didn’t see that getting better. If anything, once they got to know each other and become more comfortable, it would most likely get worse.

  “I don’t know. He’s a contradiction. And it confuses me.” Aria jumped up
and walked to the far side of the room. With her hands on her hips, she whirled around. “It kind of makes me contradict myself. I don’t even know if that makes sense because I’m all over the place.”

  “What about him is a contradiction?” Avery asked.

  “Because, like I said, he’s everything I shouldn’t want.”

  “Why, though?”

  Aria froze, turning over the many ideas swirling through her head. She chose her next words carefully. “He plays beautiful music. So beautiful, I was overwhelmed with emotion listening to it. But he won’t pursue his passion. I suspect it’s because he’s bogged down with obligation. Don’t get me wrong. I know that feeling, because I’ve lived it myself. But at the end of the day, how would I fit into that narrative?”

  “Maybe you’re exactly what he needs to propel him forward onto a different path.” Avery smacked her palms against her legs. “But I’m still trying to figure out why that’s a reason to not want him? If you like him, why not feel it? Why not go with it and try to make something work? Even if there’s a risk. What if it works out and you’re happy in the end?”

  “He’s a doctor. A surgeon, for goodness’ sake. He’s rich. On paper, he’s everything my mother tried to force on me. He’s exactly the type of man who she would want me with. I’ve been there and done that before. I shouldn’t do it again.”

  At the same time, Myles drove a freakin’ Jeep when he could drive a Benz. His house was in a regular neighborhood. It wasn’t a mansion on a hill. Yes, he had money, but he didn’t flaunt it. He never made her feel like he thought he was too good for her, like the parade of men her mother brought around her.

  Myles had admitted to her that he took his lunch to work most days. When he admitted that he didn’t like Applebee’s, she’d expected him to tell her he liked to dine at some highbrow, expensive restaurant. But he really just preferred Chili’s.

  “I don’t know what to do with this,” Aria said.

  Avery nodded. “You like him, despite your differences. And that scares you.”

  “Yeah. Because every time he reveals something personal to me, it’s not what I expected. And that makes me want him even more. Oh, my God. It makes me fall for him a little more every time. And then he doesn’t call, and I’m left with this feeling of being a fool for even opening myself up to someone I knew I shouldn’t be with in the first place.”

  “Okay, I get it.” Bailee crossed her legs and smoothed her skirt. “Ian is totally the opposite of me. Just being with him gave me the courage to make lasting changes because I watched him pursue his passion despite what his father expected. I’m more like Myles. I was comfortable—to a certain extent—following a set path, basing my life choices on what everyone wanted for me and not what I wanted for myself. What if you’re his perfect half, the person who completes him, the woman who pushes him to follow his dreams? What if he’s that balance for you?”

  “What if he’s not?” Aria asked. “My last relationship was awful. He used me, stole from me and blamed me when I left him. He told me that I was not good enough for him to bring home to his mother. He told me time and again that I needed to change. It was abuse, but not physical. Because every time he hurt me or belittled me, it felt like a punch to the face. But I fought for it, for him. For years. Until I decided that I didn’t want to live like that anymore. Then, I left. And now I’m here, falling again for someone who may not be able to give me what I deserve.”

  “But why?” Bailee stood and approached her. “You’re jumping way ahead here, Aria. You haven’t even had a discussion with Myles. Why are you at the point of the relationship when it burns to the ground already?”

  “Because I already feel exposed. I already feel like a fool. This week with no communication from him tore me up inside. One night together, and I’m checking my phone every minute for a text. Hell, no. I’m not doing that again.”

  Avery sighed. “But Myles is not your ex.”

  “You’re right. He’s not. He’s so good. He’s gentle, loving, and he made me feel safe. So safe that I let him make love to me on our first official date. And right now, I’m remembering all the promises I made to myself to not let a man make me feel so weak again. I remember how long and hard that fall was when I lost myself in a man who wasn’t good for me. Even if Myles has a good excuse for not calling me, I’ll always be waiting for the other shoe to drop. And that makes me crazy. I’m scared to want him, because I know it will be easy to fall in love with him. And that scares me even more. Because one day he might wake up and realize that I was just a phase, that I don’t fit into his world, that I wasn’t worth as much to him as...”

  Aria didn’t complete her thought because she wasn’t ready to put it into the atmosphere. The simple fact was her feelings for him were like a blazing, uncontrollable inferno that would burn her to the ground if she let herself succumb to them. Myles had the potential to destroy her.

  “Aria—” The bell above the front door chimed, interrupting Avery.

  “One second. I’m going to lock up.” Aria hurried to the front and stopped in her tracks when she saw Myles standing there.

  Chapter 9

  Aria stared at Myles, standing in her doorway as if it was a regular day, as if he hadn’t given her the cold shoulder for almost a week. Suddenly, anger replaced the melancholy that had taken over her life for the past several days.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked, folding her arms over her chest.

  “Can we talk?” Myles asked, his voice so soft she almost thought she’d imagined it.

  “I think you said everything you wanted to say with your lack of communication over the last week.”

  He inched closer. “I’m an idiot. I didn’t think. Things spiraled out of control at work and I... There is no excuse.”

  Aria felt her anger slip at his words. He didn’t try to argue with her, he didn’t try to make her feel she was unreasonable. He just admitted he was wrong. Which was all new to her.

  Avery and Bailee chose that moment to come out from the back. “Myles?” Avery said. “You’re here. About time,” she mumbled.

  Myles frowned. “Yes. What’s going on?”

  “We’re leaving.” Bailee hooked an arm in Avery’s. Turning to Aria, Bailee mouthed, Call me.

  Seconds later, the ladies were gone and Aria was alone with Myles. He stepped forward. “Don’t,” she said, her voice firm. “I’m not sure who you think I am, but I think we need to get some things straight.”

  “I agree.”

  “I’m not the type of woman who sleeps with men for the hell of it.”

  “I know that.”

  “I don’t treat sex so casually. For you to be with me and then disappear like you did is unacceptable.”

  “You’re right.”

  Aria sighed. “I can’t do this.”

  “I’m sorry.” Myles started toward her again, and her heartbeat thundered in her chest as he neared her. “I should have called. I should have done anything other than what I did.” Now, standing in front of her, he traced her jawline with his finger. “Aria, I told you I didn’t expect this. But you probably thought I meant I didn’t expect to sleep with you.”

  “Isn’t that what you meant?”

  He shook his head. “No. I meant I didn’t expect you. I didn’t count on you breezing into my life and changing things.”

  “How so?”

  “From the first moment I saw you, I wanted more. I can’t explain it, it’s not rational. I’ve never been one to pursue any woman. I never had to. And I don’t know what to do with that.”

  “Why didn’t you call me? I was worried about you. You looked so sad when you got that call.”

  “I wanted to call. Multiple times I picked up the phone, dialed your number, but—”

  “But you didn’t.”

  “No. I didn’t. I don’t have a good
reason, only regret. I wish I had handled things differently.”

  She poked him in the chest. “I do, too.”

  “Can you forgive me?”

  She wanted to forgive him. She wanted to throw her arms around his neck and let him take her in the back. But she wouldn’t do that. One thing she’d learned about herself over this was that she wasn’t ready. Obviously. Bringing baggage and old insecurities into a new relationship wasn’t a good idea under any circumstance. “Maybe.”

  His gaze dropped to her mouth. “Please,” he whispered.

  “Even if I can forgive you, I think we should just be friends.”

  Myles leaned back. “Really?”

  “It’s not you. It’s me. I’m just not ready to date someone. I don’t want to have expectations of you, and I’m not ready to meet your expectations. It’s better if we take a few steps back. Friends is good. This way I don’t have to be waiting for a call from any date. If I see you, I see you.”

  “Ah.” He smirked. “Just friends, huh?”

  Aria backed up and patted him on his shoulder. “Yep.”

  “Okay. I can be a good friend.”

  Aria eyed him skeptically. “Really?”

  “Yeah.” He rubbed his hands together. “You know, it’s kind of good that you want to be friends. Friendship is a great start to a relationship.”

  She wondered why he had that gleam in his eye. He’s up to something. “Right. Except in this case, we’ll continue to be friends.”

  “Right. Just friends. Which means you can’t kiss me.”

  Immediately, Aria’s focus shifted to his full lips. Kissing him in that moment was all she wanted to do. But she’d laid down the rules. For her sanity. “I don’t want to kiss you,” she whispered.

  “You’re sure?”

  Aria nodded, leaning forward. “Very sure.” Her heart was beating so loud and fast she felt it in her throat. “No kisses.”

  He bent lower, ran his nose down her cheek. “None. At all.”

  Damn. He knew exactly what he was doing, looking all good, unnerving her. She placed her hands against his chest and pushed back to put some space between them. “So, we’re in agreement. I have to...” Aria had failed at sounding unaffected by him so she pointed toward the back. “Get back to work.”