Nebula Nights: Love Among The Stars

by Melisse Aires

  “Good gods, Sanaa-chan, is that a sword strapped to your back?”

  Jiro laughs, clasps me on the shoulder and says, “Ganbatte, Sanaa,” before walking off towards Sakai on the other side of the restaurant. Grrr, I’m going to show him who’s in charge later.

  Helena grabs me by my arm and starts to move me away from the door and Usagi, but Usagi follows, and she glances over her shoulder twice before turning to me.

  “Who’s the guy, Sanaa?” She leans in closer to me. “He’s cute. Is he available?”

  This is ridiculous.

  I press my lips together tightly and close my eyes. Don’t laugh, Sanaa.

  “Usagi?” I turn to him and put on my most diplomatic smile. “Could you give us another two meters, please?”

  “Yes, miss.” Usagi is dressed like the rest of the Sakai clan men in black kimono with the Sakai family crest and black hakama pants, and I suppose he is handsome. Maybe Helena likes bald men? Bald men in black?

  “Do you drink?”

  “I do.”

  “Well, might I suggest you sit right there at the bar and have one? Sono will take care of you. I’m sure I’m fine here.”

  A hint of a smile brightens his eyes but leaves his mouth serious. “Yes, Sanaa-san.” And he makes his way to the first available bar seat closest to us.

  “Tell me what’s going on, Sanaa. This is strange.”

  “Helena, my entire life has been turned upside down in the course of the last twenty-four hours.” I throw my hands up and nearly smack Miko in the face who was sneaking up behind me. “Miko! Shit, you scared me.”

  “Sanaa, are you all right? What’s going on?”

  Both my best friends are directly in front of me and everyone else is busy in the back of the restaurant. I have a captive audience and probably not for long, but I shouldn’t dump this on Miko right now.

  “Uh, no. No, it’s nothing. It can wait.”

  “Sanaa-chan, you are the worst liar on the planet. Sit down and spill it,” Miko says, gesturing to the empty table next to us.

  Sighing in defeat, I wave to Helena and the bar. “Get us some sake, and I’ll tell you everything.”

  She does, and I do. I even confess all the details about my name, my parents, the sword, the imperial lineage, the sex, and how within a day later, Jiro and I are now living together.

  “Are you insane? You barely know the boy, and you’ve moved in together?”

  “Miko.” I shake my head and put my face in my hands. “I actually think Jiro is the least of my worries right now.”

  “How could you do that after going out on two dates with him? You’ve only talked to him, what? A total of ten hours?”

  “Uhhh, no, actually.” I twist my hands in my lap. “I left out the fact I’ve actually seen Jiro every single day for the last six weeks. It only got… physical recently. I know him really well, I think.” At least I hope I do. My impulsivity is starting to seem crazy.

  I have never seen Helena stunned into silence before. I’m tempted to reach over and push her chin up to close her mouth it’s been open in shock for so long. Miko’s eyes are so wide I’m afraid they’ll pop out of her head.

  “I’m going to kill him,” she says. “He came in here, every night, and asked about you, and I had no idea he was seeing you on the side. And you!” She points right at me, and I shrink. “I can’t believe you kept this from us.”

  “Miko, please understand. I was under strict orders not to say anything, and it was eating me up. You know I’m a terrible liar. That’s why I stayed away.”

  I’m horrible person for all the secrets I kept from my friends, and I’ve dreaded this conversation for so long. Miko sighs at my pained face and pats my hand. “It’s okay, Sanaa. It’s okay.”

  I pour more sake for us all. I’m going to have to eat soon. Oyama is in the kitchen (he’s easy to spot) so hopefully he’s making me up a plate. He gave the bottle of sake we’re both drinking right now to Sono when Helena approached the bar. Oyama is on top of things.

  “And now you’re an empress, you have your own sword, and Jiro, and security…” Helena looks over at Usagi again who is watching us. “He’s really your bodyguard?”

  “Yeah, really. He and Jiro and some other people, too.” I turn my face from them to the window. I don’t want to be forlorn, weary, and upset. I want to be strong and not let any of this bother me. An impossible task. “It’s like a whole different life in the course of a day. How the hell am I supposed to do all of this?”

  “Well, Sanaa-chan… can I still call you that?”

  “Of course you can! Helena!” When I realize she’s joking, I stop from crying and laugh instead. Miko leans back in her chair.

  “Sanaa-chan, I don’t think you have much of a choice. If you want to continue living a happy life, you’ve got to accept it and make the best of it, ne? Isn’t that what you’ve told me the past few years?”

  All those years Helena’s parents ignored her, and she wanted them to change and give her a life she dreamt about, I would sit and tell her to make her own life. I cheered her through her fast-track therapy school and pushed her to move out. Then she pushed me to flirt with Jiro and make the move on him before he slipped away. And it worked, for both of us.

  “Whatever you have to do, we’re here for you. Just be yourself. You can’t be anyone else. They’ll have to take you for who you are and deal with it, but I don’t think they’ll be disappointed, Sanaa. You’re pretty wonderful as you are.”

  “She’s right. Just be yourself.” Miko gets up from the table and smiles weakly at me. “I have to go. Engagement party and all that.”

  “I’m sorry, Miko-chan. I wanted desperately to confide in you both, and I didn’t want to tell you tonight and ruin things.”

  “You haven’t ruined anything. I’m worried about you, Sanaa. This imperial business and jumping in with Jiro? I want you to be safe.”

  “I want to be safe, too, but think about my circumstances. The fact Jiro and I are together is a good thing. A really good thing. Please try to see that.”

  If I didn’t have Jiro, it’s quite possible I’d be alone or forced to mate with someone I didn’t love for the rest of my life. I’m not even sure what I have with Jiro will last, and I shove away the tears that threaten to explode from my eyes when I imagine him getting fed up and deserting me.

  “I’ll try,” she says, squeezing my shoulder before leaving the table.

  “Don’t worry about her, Sanaa. She just really missed you these last few weeks.”

  Hearing this, my eyes do tear up. “I’ve missed you both so much, Helena.”

  She grabs my hand and gives it a long squeeze before tugging on my arm. “I wasn’t kidding about Usagi, although that’s a really silly name. Seriously. He’s hot. Will you introduce me?”

  Oh my gods.

  Laughing and crying is not a good look for me, so Helena hands me a napkin, and I smooth myself out again. Making the introductions, Usagi actually smiles and offers Helena his chair, and for a moment, I’m not the center of attention. In the back, I spot Koichi, Sakai, and Jiro near one of the private rooms; Beni and Risa; all the restaurant staff on and off shift; a few of the girls who work in the shops nearby; some of the people who grew up with us in Ku 5; Miko’s extended family whom I’ve seen at some of her holiday parties. I’m guessing a lot of the other people are Sakai’s family, and I’ll meet most of them eventually.

  I also realize my aunts aren’t here yet, but we were right on time, and, despite my long tale of woe to Helena and Miko, it is still early, and they tend to always be late. I’m glad I have a good view of the door.

  Oyama leans out of the kitchen and passes a plate of appetizers to Sono who passes them to me with a confused look.

  “Don’t ask, Sono.” I shake my head, take the plate, and make my way back to Jiro.

  Though Jiro is probably talking business with Sakai and Koichi, I still grab his arm and pull him away for a minute.

&nb
sp; “You are in big trouble later, mister.” I make sure to get right up and whisper directly in his ear.

  He turns to my ear. “Mmmm, talk dirty to me, Sanaa. That’s the way I like it.”

  I’m beginning to suspect something about the way Jiro likes our love life to be, and I really, really like it too. Mmmm, yes. The blush is creeping back up my neck. His mischievous smile moves the heat straight up to my cheeks.

  He clears his throat. “You come bearing gifts.”

  “Yes, sake and food from Oyama. Will you sit and eat with me?”

  Sakai interrupts us. “Let’s all sit together.”

  The staff arranged a long line of tables instead of the smaller ones they usually use, and we move over to sit at the end. Jiro takes the sake and food and places them on the table for me. I’m about to sit with him, Sakai, and Koichi, when the door open again and Aunt Kimie and Lomo enter.

  “Jiro, they’re here.”

  He puts his hand on my back and gives me a little push. “Go get them, Sanaa.”

  I walk as fast as possible to the front through all of the people and tackle Aunt Kimie with a hug.

  “I’m so glad you’re here, Aunt Kimie. I was worried for a moment.”

  “I’m sorry we’re late, Sanaa-chan. We’ve been moving back to Ku 5 all day.” She pulls away from me, rearranging my hair that has flown everywhere in our hug. I let her go and hug Aunt Lomo, too.

  “Already? Wow, Mark is fast.”

  “More of his staff showed up last night after you left and started packing. It’s the fastest move we’ve ever had, though we’re keeping the storage area in Ku 9. I don’t want to move all those boxes again. It can stay there until our ship leaves.”

  I grab one of Aunt Kimie’s and one of Aunt Lomo’s hands in each of mine. “Come. Everyone wants to see you.”

  I lead them to the table and Sakai hugs them both, my stomach unclenching and settling at the sight. I wiggle my shoulders out of my ears. They were so relaxed after the massage but tension has them in knots again. Koichi hugs Aunt Kimie and gives Aunt Lomo a kiss on the cheek. All of them together again lifts a smile to my worried face.

  “Kimie, you remember my youngest son, Jiro. He was just a boy when you last saw him.” This must be slightly awkward for Jiro, but his smile is gracious and warm.

  Aunt Kimie steps up to him and places her hands on his face. “It’s been a long, long time, Jiro. I see a lot of your mother in you.” She gives him a kiss on the cheek and he closes his eyes for a moment, his shoulders sinking in relief. “He’s a handsome one, Sanaa-chan. A good choice.” I direct my eyes at my feet because the blush on my face is too intense to let anyone else see. “Where is Mariko?”

  Koichi nods at the private room. “I’ll go get them now.”

  He slides open the door, and the shadows on the rice paper screens dance as everyone inside gets up.

  Jiro comes to my side and laces his fingers with mine. He leans over and whispers in my ear. “That went well. I think they approve?”

  “Yes, Jiro. Let’s hope they’re okay with us living together already.”

  He pulls me into a hug in front of everyone, and I let him, resting my head on his chest.

  All of the adults are converging outside of the private room. From my hug with Jiro, I watch Aunt Kimie and Mariko hug and kiss, Aunt Lomo and Mariko, and then the congratulations start as Miko and Yoichi and Miko’s parents are all entered into the mix.

  Jiro rests his chin on my head, and I rub my cheek along the front of his kimono. Our families together. His family, my family, our family. I couldn’t be happier.

  Chapter

  Twenty-Nine

  Eventually Jiro and I make our way over to say omedetō to Yoichi and Miko. Miko tells me they are going to do a private ceremony at the temple in a few months — “nothing big.” She wants to save every penny they have for the colonization. Makes sense to me, though she is probably dying for a huge fancy party. She shows me the ring Yoichi gave her, and I gasp. It’s gorgeous.

  “A family heirloom, Sanaa. Eldest child. I’m lucky.”

  This makes me ache a little. My mother never had a wedding ring. I’ve never seen one, not even on the video. Before yesterday, I always thought I would wear one someday and be married. Now this is something I’m not going to be able to do. I push away the memory of Sakai’s sad and sympathetic expression when he told me. I have to be happy for Miko.

  “It’s really beautiful, Miko,” I say with a smile, “and yes, you are lucky in many things including love.”

  I give her a kiss on the cheek and a hug. While we’re clasped together, she whispers in my ear, “Everything will be fine even though I’m frightened for you, Sanaa. But I want you to be happy. Never keep a secret like that from me again.”

  I nod and try not to cry. Ugh. I have been doing nothing but holding back tears lately. Toughen up, Sanaa.

  Jiro keeps his visit short, gives Miko a kiss on the cheek, and congratulates her. She’ll be his sister-in-law soon. Crazy.

  We move off to the side so everyone else can talk to Miko, and Jiro leans into my ear. “I have an idea. I’ll be right back.”

  He makes his way over to Usagi who is still talking to Helena at the bar. Wow, their conversation is going better than I expected it to. Looking left, Aunt Kimie, Lomo, Sakai, Koichi, and Mariko are all chatting and laughing at their table. Everyone here is happy including me.

  After conversing with Usagi for a minute, Jiro comes back to me with the mischievous smile on his face that he had earlier. Uh oh, what’s he up to?

  “We should go out to our spot for a little while. What do you say?” I can only imagine he’s been consulting with Usagi on the security situation in the alley. Yes, absolutely.

  Out back in our spot where we first kissed, we kiss again and again. I’m cursing this stupid yukata and obi because Jiro can’t easily slip his hands in, and I can’t lift his shirt and let my fingers play along his stomach and back. I wish we could just get out of here and go sleep with each other which is the only thing I want right now. I never realized how preoccupied I would become with sex once I actually enjoyed it, but it’s all I can think about now.

  “Sanaa?”

  Jiro is trying to interrupt me, but I’m only paying attention to his neck and the way his hair smells. He pulls back from me with a laugh.

  “Sanaa, I’m trying to talk to you before I do something I shouldn’t do in public.” He takes a deep breath, and I wait while watching him struggle with the same feelings of lust I am. It’s comforting.

  But he becomes serious again. “Sanaa, I know you can’t marry…”

  Oh no. Does he regret this already?

  “But I’m looking at Miko and Yoichi and our family, and I’m wondering…” His voice tapers off. My heart is sinking. Taking another deep breath, he avoids eye contact with me. “I’m wondering if you still want a family even with all of this?”

  “Jiro, you mean, have children?”

  He nods at me. “I know we’re a bit young to be thinking about these things though I have several friends with kids already, and it’s not like you and I have been together for a long time or anything…”

  “Jiro!” I throw myself hard at his chest and wrap my arms around him and under Oninoten. “Yes. I want kids. It’s crazy to think about now, but I do, even with everything they’d have to do after me. But yes. Married or not. I want a family.”

  I look up at him, look him right in the eyes. Those eyes can be intense or sweet, cold or warm. Now, they’re bright and happy again.

  “I love my small family, and I even loved my father’s side of the family though they deserted me. Today, suddenly, my family is bigger than I ever thought it would be, and I just want it to get bigger and bigger. The very idea makes me insanely happy.”

  I rest my head on his chest and take a deep, shaky breath. All of that came spilling out of me so fast.

  “Oh, Jiro. Mark couldn’t marry my mother nor my aunt, though he wanted to
, and it destroyed them. Destroyed him. I would love to marry you, but if I can’t have that then I just want to be with you.”

  “I’m sorry, Sanaa, did I scare you? You’re shaking.” His hands hold my head, and through his kimono, I can hear his heart racing in his chest.

  “Yes. We just moved in together, and I thought you were having second thoughts.” He squeezes me and rubs my back, and I calm again.

  “Sanaa.” He releases our hug, and holds my face in his hands, his gaze piercing straight through me. “Once I have you, I won’t want to let you go. There will be no others for me. What about you? I don’t think you realize how wanted you’ll be once everyone realizes what you are. They will try to use you to gain power and strength.”

  “I won’t let them, Jiro.” He’s talking about marriages and offspring to strengthen positions amongst the ranks, and the thought sickens me. Sakai said I could have consorts, as many as I wanted, but I only want one. I only want Jiro. “They can have anything but that. That’s for you. You alone. You already have me.”

  I didn’t hear the footsteps approaching us, but the voice that comes out of the darkness makes me freeze in fear.

  “Well, well. Jiro Itō and Sanaa Griffin. Wrapped up and in love.” Matsuda is standing in the alley between us and the street. “I should have seen this coming what with the way you spend all that time together every afternoon.”

  My blood runs cold. How the hell did he get here? What about the men positioned outside and at the end of this alley? Panic is mounting in me. Please don’t let them be dead.

  Jiro ever so slightly moves me behind him. Matsuda has a katana strapped to his back. I’m glad we both have our swords as well.

  “What do you want, Matsuda?” Jiro’s voice is ice.

  “I came to check on the happy couple. Your brother is getting married? Omedetai koto desu na.”

  This is obviously the biggest lie either of us have ever heard, and we stay silent. He’s been waiting for us, hoping for this opportunity.