Nebula Nights: Love Among The Stars
Page 258
"Thank goodness. How soon is that?"
"You know I couldn't tell you that."
"Couldn't or can't?"
"Maddie, I'm not sure when Charlie is going to allow you to have any other visitors other than me," Mack told her honestly.
Maddie let out a frustrated sigh. There was no use in getting upset with Mack about it. She knew the agent was doing everything in her power to help her. Mack sighed, feeling Maddie's frustration.
"I know," Mack sympathetically said. "Waiting is the worst part."
Maddie nodded in agreement. "I would feel better if I could see John."
"I know what you mean there."
Mack wrapped her arm around Maddie, resting her head on Maddie's shoulder. "Regardless of what happens..."
Mack's voice trailed off. Maddie gave Mack's hand an affectionate squeeze. Both women were too overcome to speak but both knew what they wanted to say. They were both thankful to have met the other.
"Can I ask you something?" Maddie asked after several minutes.
"Of course," Mack encouraged.
"Please do not take my question the wrong way. But how did you get to be how you are?" Maddie asked.
Mack dropped her arms to her side and slid away from Maddie.
"Say what again?" Mack asked.
"You know what I mean. Don't look at me that way. You are so strong and skilled. I haven't seen you slip or fall once. You have this confidence about you that radiates. I know some of it comes with training but that doesn't answer all of it."
Mack chewed on the inside of her cheek as she contemplated how to answer Maddie's inquiry.
"Some of it is training. Most of it is experience."
"Off-world missions?" Maddie prodded.
"Yeah." Mack smiled and shook her head. "I was the worst at first."
"Tell me about that."
"I once slipped while throwing a grenade and blew up my ship by mistake," Mack admitted.
Maddie couldn't help but laugh.
"Seriously? How horrible," Maddie said, composing herself.
"I was very emotional. Being such an open person is hard when most of the time spent away from the computer was spent on the battlefield. I missed home. I think a part of me was hoping Commander Westlake would think he made a mistake in choosing me and send me home. But Charlie never gave up on me. He told me that he and I would both regret it if I left. Logan was a big help to me. He helped me to keep my emotions separate from my duty. He taught me meditation and helped me focus. I had to detach myself in order to carry out my orders."
"Logan was a good man," Maddie softly said.
"He certainly was," Mack nodded.
"What do you think he meant, that you would both regret it? If you left, your memory would be altered, right?" Maddie wondered.
"I would assume so. I have no idea. If you get to stay, you'll come to learn that Charlie has ways of just kind of knowing things," Mack answered.
If she stayed...Maddie didn't let her thoughts linger. Instead, she prodded Mack some more.
"So you put up walls."
"I had to. If you could only see the things I have seen..." Mack's voice trailed off.
Maddie grabbed the agent's hand.
"John draws to help him," Maddie said, not sure where she was going with her statement.
"He's fantastic, too," Mack nodded.
"And Jackson?" Maddie prodded.
"I put up walls too thick. I cut out all emotions, even away from the missions. I wanted to become robotic. I prayed to turn my heart into stone. Jackson was the only person to break through my thick walls. He saw past my defenses. He reminded me of what it means to be human. What it means to be a woman. I love him so much. I don't know if forever is long enough to show him, but I'll take it."
"So how did you solve the clumsiness issue?" Maddie asked.
"Honestly? I wore heels for a week."
"Heels?" Maddie looked at her puzzled.
"Six inch high heel shoes. Hurt like hell. Had to wear them all the time, even in the shower. It helped train my body."
Maddie smiled over at her counterpart.
"I hope to be just like you when I grow up," Maddie jokingly told her.
"I hope you will be, too," Mack teased.
#
The next day, Maddie was summoned into one of the conference rooms. She noticed the west wall had a large pane of glass. She realized she must have been in one of the observation rooms like she had seen when the agents were being questioned regarding her previously. Maddie began to pace in the conference room, growing more and more agitated she was being kept waiting. She stopped once she heard footsteps behind the door, anxiously waiting to get her meeting with the real commanding officer over with.
To her surprise, John came in instead of Commander Westlake. She threw her arms around his neck instantly, the force of which caused them to fall into the closed door.
"I missed you," John buried his face into her neck and hair.
"Not as much as I missed you."
Maddie traced the muscles on his shoulder gently with her finger tips, craving to feel his skin against her body. John kissed her intensely, having to resist the urge of letting their passions overcome them on the conference room table.
Maddie groaned when John broke the kiss. He trailed feather light kisses down her jaw, chin, and neck before stopping himself.
"Maddie." He said her name like it was a promise.
"I know," she said, emotions cutting off her voice.
A loud banging on the glass caused her to jump slightly. John cursed under his breath.
"I love you," he told her, stroking her cheek gently.
"And I love you." She smiled up at him.
Another loud banging on the glass made them pull apart.
"I made a deal with Westlake to see you before he did. Our time is up," John informed her.
"We barely had two minutes," Maddie complained.
"I know. But it was all I could get. I just had to see you."
"I understand," she said.
"Just so you know, it's taking everything I have to leave this room right now," he said.
John kissed her one more time before walking out the door.
Once again, Maddie was forced to wait. Lunch was brought to her to eat in the room but without the Commander. The waiting was beginning to irritate her.
#
"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting," Charlie's voice startled her from behind.
His hair was now cut military length and dyed black. His wire rimmed glasses now sat perfectly on his face. Maddie was glad that he no longer looked malnourished.
"Oh, it's no big deal." She tried to sound nonchalant.
"So you are the infamous Maddie. It's a pleasure to finally meet you." Charlie smiled at her.
"Same here." She nodded.
"So you have disproved a lot of things we held as the gospel truth," Charlie said, sitting down at the table.
"I'm sorry." She wasn't sure if she should feel bad for that or not.
"No, believe me, it's a good thing. With the knowledge that we have gained from you and Agent Rhodes, we can help improve our cloning process."
"That's good then."
Charlie chuckled a little under his breath.
"It's remarkable how different you two are, yet are so much alike."
"That's to be expected, isn't it?" Maddie asked.
"I suppose so. I just wasn't prepared for the amount of differences between you two."
The two of them stared at each other for a few minutes in silence.
"What's going to happen to me?" Maddie finally asked.
Charlie sighed, opening up a manila folder in front of him.
"You have shown us things we didn't think was possible for clones. You've fought bravely, both with weapons and in hand-to-hand combat. You've made leadership decisions, such as the plan to dig the hole in the barn on Veernon. You've fallen in love and had that love reciprocated in return."
/> "I'm not going to apologize for any of that."
"Nor should you, my dear."
"So where does that leave me?"
Charlie stroked his chin, now free of the disheveled beard that she last saw him with.
“Regardless of the truths we once held for clones, you are still a remarkable woman, Maddie."
"I can't help but feel you aren't answering my question, sir."
"I should add observant to your charts."
Maddie gave him a fake smile, feeling her patience being tested.
"I'm still not sure if every clone can do what you can do or be what you can be."
"Are you ordering more tests?" Fear crept up in Maddie's voice.
Good God, please, no. Her thoughts went to the fake Commander, who had ordered for her to be dissected in a lab.
"Oh, no, nothing quite like what you are thinking. I think we have plenty of medical data. If we needed anything else, it would be a simple matter of drawing blood. We're going to be observing some other clones without their knowledge and compare it to what we have observed from you," he told her.
Maddie let out a sigh of relief.
"We just need to reevaluate policies and procedures. Maybe you would like to help in that process?" he asked.
"Sir, are you asking me to stay?"
"I'm giving you a choice, Maddie. You can join us and be an invaluable asset to our team. We could use your help around here, and Mack has formally asked that if you do choose to stay you get offered a permanent spot on her team as well."
Maddie felt taken aback. She wasn't sure what she was expecting but it definitely wasn't this.
"Or?" she prompted.
"Or you can go home. We won't pressure you. All of us would miss you but would certainly understand if you chose to leave us."
"And I could go home? Just like that?"
"Just like that."
"But if I were to stay, what would happen with my family?"
Charlie studied her face for a moment before replying.
"The first night you came here, Mack went to Dr. Brody and insisted a new clone be created, from your memories from the last five years without your knowledge," he answered honestly.
"You made a new clone?" Maddie asked, raising her voice.
"Madison-"
"You made a new clone?" Maddie repeated, her voice slightly higher.
"It was necessary," Charlie said calmly.
"And you are just now telling me about this?" Maddie was practically yelling now.
"I know you are upset-"
"Upset?" Maddie cut him off. "No, I don't think you've seen upset yet."
"Listen, I'm not sure if you realize this or not, but you've been gone for nearly four months. Mack didn’t want her family to have to go through an ordeal."
"I’m supposed to believe Mack ordered me being cloned?"
"Not you, per say. It's not a good idea to clone a clone," Charlie told her, sheepishly.
"What did you do, snap your fingers and out comes another Madison Rhodes?" Maddie fired at him.
"That's not precisely what happened..."
"What precisely did you do?" Maddie demanded.
"We still have everything in our database from when you were created. All we needed was your memories to add with what we already had stored so the new creation wouldn't be aware of any difference in her timeline. We already had the DNA on file so the procedure is fairly simple. The process takes a total of two weeks. During that time, your family believed you had won a two-week Alaskan cruise vacation."
It took everything she had inside her not to jump across the table and punch him in the face. How dare he sound so nonchalant about this! A new creation, as if it was nothing!
“That's ridiculous. Why would they believe I was on a two-week Alaskan cruise?" she questioned.
"You will learn we have very persuasive ways, Ms. Rhodes."
"So you mean to tell me there are three Madison Rhodes now."
"In a sense, yes."
"In a sense?" Maddie started to become enraged.
Charlie looked at her sympathetically, which only made Maddie angrier. Saying he understood and actually understanding where she was coming from were two completely different things. How could he possibly understand? How could that man sit there acting like nothing was wrong?
Before Maddie could stop herself, she reared back and punched him in the jaw. Charlie yelled out in surprise as he fell backwards from his chair to the floor.
"How dare you!" Maddie screamed at him.
The door behind her burst open and two agents were by her side, holding her arms.
"Let me go!" Maddie screamed as she attempted to pull away from them.
Charlie pulled himself up from the floor, holding his jaw. Maddie kicked and screamed for her release. Charlie raised his hand and the two agents shoved her back down in a chair.
"If you don't calm down, you will be restrained," Charlie calmly said.
Maddie glared at him but slowly stopped resisting. She felt a minor victory when she saw blood trickle from the corner of his mouth. After a minute, she had calmed down enough for Charlie to send the two agents out of the room.
"Do you feel better now?" Charlie asked, still holding his jaw.
"Yes," Maddie admitted, her breathing still ragged.
"Good. I will warn you not to do that again."
"Or you'll do what, exactly?" Maddie challenged.
Charlie shook his head. "You are pushing it, Madison."
Something in his voice made Maddie take a deep breath and release a lot of the anger she had bubbling under her surface.
"Good. Look, Maddie, I understand you are upset over this news. Maybe you should have been told about the other clone's creation. But do you realize you've been gone for four months? If the new clone hadn't been created, do you have an idea what it would have done to your family? The trauma of you disappearing without a trace would have destroyed them."
Maddie slowly met Charlie's eyes. She had asked many times what would happen while she was gone but never received an answer, even from Mack. Mack was probably trying to spare her. Now it was clear to Maddie. No matter what, Mack was still protecting her family and her secret.
"Why didn't Mack tell me?" Maddie asked.
"I don't think she considered your feelings on the subject to be relevant at the time. She hadn't gotten to know you when she made the decision."
Charlie held up a finger and pushed a few buttons on a console in front of him. A computer monitor sprang up through the table and came to life.
"Look for yourself." Charlie waved her over.
Maddie cautiously walked over and peered over his shoulder. The image zoomed on Maddie and Mallory finishing up Chinese takeout dinner. Maddie watched as the two friends laughed as they swapped fortune cookies.
"Do you see what I mean?" Charlie asked her, watching Maddie's reaction.
"Mallory," Maddie said softly, gently touching the screen.
"Life has continued on without interruption. Mallory never had to wonder where you were. Noah never put out flyers with your name on it. Your mother never cried herself to sleep at night. This is the purpose that clones serve, Maddie."
All the anger Maddie had felt dissipated immediately. She looked over at Charlie with tears forming under her eyes.
"This is what you were originally created for, Maddie. This was your purpose."
"Was?" Maddie questioned.
"Indeed, my dear. I think you are so much more than a security measure. One thing I am certain of is that you are unique. I think there is a lot that we can learn from you and you are wanted here, Maddie. And you have one hell of a right hook too," Charlie teased.
"I'm sorry about that," Maddie said, embarrassed. "Blame the robotic arm."
"Don't worry about that. A part of me wishes I could order you to stay and become an agent. I'm not going to take that decision away from you."
#
In that moment, everything seemed cl
ear to her. It was like looking at a perfect painting from John. She understood the reasons behind the third girl's creation but it still didn't feel right to Maddie. Creation and its consequences didn't seem to matter in the grand scheme of things, only when it suited the needs of the ISC.
"And if I were to decide to return to my life, what would happen to her?" Maddie asked, crossing her arms over her chest defensively.
"You are our concern, not her," Charlie replied, looking visibly uncomfortable.
"You would kill her? Because of me? What kind of person are you? She has nothing to do with any of this," Maddie charged.
"No, not necessarily. I'm not some monster who would kill an innocent being, Maddie."
"Oh." Maddie felt slightly embarrassed at the implication. "Then what?"
"As I'm sure you are aware, we do have means of wiping memory. We can alter her and reassign her off-world somewhere."
"Reassign her?"
"It sounds worse than I mean it to. But if you do decide to go back to your life, she would be physically altered so she would only resemble you and her memory would be altered. She would be given a brand new identity and not remember your life," he explained delicately.
"I don't know if I could do it. That just seems cruel," Maddie said.
"I understand your reluctance, but you wouldn't remember it either," he pointed out.
He had a point, but did that make it right? She knew it was possible. John had told her if she chose to leave, she wouldn't remember anything of her experiences. It would be possible for the agency to replace her current memories of the last four months with memories from the other clone.
"I know it comes off harsh to you," Charlie stated.
"You mean to sound like clones are disposable?" Maddie challenged.
Charlie blanched at her words. "I don’t mean it that way. She was only created-"
"I know. I get that. But you and I are debating a life. That's the part I don't think you get," Maddie fired back.
Charlie shrugged slightly, not sure of what to say to that.
"Could you do that to me?" she asked.
"What?" He blinked, confused by her question.
"Could you reassign me? Do to me what you would do to her?"
"I guess I could order that if you wish. But why?"
"It's just a question."
Maddie couldn't help but frown. She really felt the Commander didn't care about clones at all.