Handfuls of Shattered Pieces

by Kerry Taylor

  “While I am fully aware that’s just a ploy to miss school Cole, I’m also thinking it’s not a bad idea. Olivia may need some help along the way and I don’t like the idea of leaving her alone with a tutor none of us know.” Keira looked across to me, awaiting my opinion.

  “I don’t want to disrupt your lives though guys.” I said honestly.

  Kyle laughed loudly as he picked the last piece of bacon from the platter on the table and shoved it in his mouth. I looked from him to the guys and they both grinned.

  “We totally hate school. We’ve been trying to convince Mom and Dad to let us do it online for years.” Cole explained with a bright smile. He always seemed so filled with happiness and excitement. He talked fast and never sat still, just bursting with life all of the time. I looked at Matt and he nodded that Cole was right.

  “Ok.” I agreed simply. If they wanted to be home I wasn’t going to argue. I didn’t like the idea of being there with a stranger either, so this was a good option.

  “Yes! This is awesome!” Cole cried excitedly.

  “We will be on top of checking all assignments are done on time Cole. This is not a free pass to watch movies and work out all day, everyday.” Grant told him.

  “We’ll make sure we keep up guys. Promise.” Matt looked at me with a smile as he spoke and I knew he was as relieved as Cole that they had agreed.

  After breakfast Grant had opened the iphone they had given me and showed me how to find all of their numbers, which were programmed in, so I could call someone if I needed to. He also showed me how to text, which I had never done before. We sent a text to all of the guys and Simon, telling them it was my number and instantly I had received replies from Xander, Simon and Kade.

  Xander: Hey sweetheart. Call me if you need anything. I’ll be there for dinner tonight x

  Simon: Hey Olivia! Hope you’re settling in. See you tonight ; )

  Kade: Thanks Einstein. I’ll save it now x

  I liked the way I could speak to them without much fuss or interrupting whatever they were busy doing too much, and I loved the phone. It was silver and so sleek and smooth in my hand. It gave me a security I had never had before, the ability to call someone if I needed to, if anything happened and I needed help.

  Now I sat on the grass, the phone safely stowed in my jeans pocket. It had been a crazy morning and I had slipped into the garden just looking for a few minutes quiet. I loved having everyone around me, all of the chaos and happiness, but I was just so used to silence, it could become too much at times.

  The sun was out, but the day was cold and windy. I was chilled, in just jeans and a sweater, my feet bare, but in a way I enjoyed that feeling. It wasn’t like the crippling cold I had felt in that basement for all of those terrible days. That had been a cold that seeped through my body, right to my bones. Sat out in that garden, the sun beating down on me as the wind blew strands of my hair loose, the cold was a comfort. It was a sign that I was free, out in real weather, my hands grasping real blades of grass. I had missed the outside more than I ever realised when I was trapped in The Darkness. I had stopped myself from thinking about it, from remembering, but now I had it in my grasp I couldn’t imagine ever going back to not seeing the sky or the sun again.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket, startling me from my thoughts. I pulled it out and smiled when I read the text.

  Kyle: Hey Houdini, where are you? We playing hide and seek?

  Olivia: Sorry. I’m in the garden.

  I smiled as I replied, excited by this new way of talking to people. It was fun and I loved that I could talk to the guys, who I was becoming pretty attached to very quickly, even when they were working or busy.

  “Olivia? Come out, come out, wherever you are!” Kyle’s voice cried a few minutes later. I smiled and waved when I saw him rounding the gazebo and headed toward me. He was wearing black slacks and a white shirt tucked into them. He had neatly styled his hair and had a suit jacket over his arm and a heavy looking grey coat in his other hand. He looked really handsome and I felt a fluttering in my stomach at the thought.

  “What are you doing out here crazy lady? It’s freezing.” He said as he approached and wrapped his grey coat around my shoulders gently. The heat instantly felt good and I shivered loudly.

  “I like it out here.” I replied as he shrugged on his suit jacket, looking even more handsome, but also with that edge of danger I found so appealing in him.

  He sat down beside me, leaving just an inch or two between us. “You look nice.”

  “I have a security job this afternoon, some fancy party for rich people.” He sighed. He sat with his knees raised before him, his arms resting casually on top.

  “Aren’t you guys kinda rich?” I asked, looking around at the huge house before me. He laughed and turned to me with a smile.

  “I guess Mom and Dad are, but that’s different. They’re not douchebags like the people I’ll be babysitting today.”

  “You’re like a bodyguard?” I asked, unsure.

  “I work in private security, so we do all different kinds of jobs. Today I guess I’m acting as a bodyguard, but we also do investigations and assignments for the government. It’s kind of why I like it. No two days are ever the same.”

  “Is it dangerous?” I worried about him being in danger. I only just found these guys. I couldn’t stand the thought of anything happening to them.

  “Not if you know what you’re doing, and I do. I was an Army Ranger. I’m well qualified.” He said confidently, making me feel a little better.

  “But you’re not in the military anymore, right?” I asked hoping I didn’t sound like an idiot.

  “No, not anymore, Princess.” He replied with a sigh.

  “Was it bad? Is that why you have so much pain in your eyes?” I asked, needing to know. He turned and looked at me again, all of his pain there to see so plainly. “Sorry,” I added, realising I shouldn’t have asked that.

  “It’s ok. I just…..I don’t like to talk about it.”

  “I get that.” I agreed. It wasn’t like I was ready to discuss my issues. “So do you have a gun?” I asked, changing the subject.

  “I do, but it’s in my car. I don’t bring it in the house, with Evie here.”

  “Can you show me some time? I never saw one before.”

  “I can take you to the range if you want, if you’re really interested, let you shoot it?”

  “Really? That would be awesome!” I said excitedly.

  “Definitely. We can go sometime next week if you’re feeling up to it? There’s a shooting range not far from here.”

  “Thanks Kyle. I’d really like that.” I agreed.

  “I’ll arrange it and let you know.” He said with a smile. “I need to make a move. Are you going to come inside? You look frozen.”

  I nodded my agreement and watched as he moved his huge body in one smooth movement to get to his feet. He reached a hand out to me and I tentatively took it, allowing him to help me to my own feet.

  “Thanks.” I whispered shyly once I was up. He nodded, but didn’t release my hand. Instead he held it and led me across the lawn, and into the kitchen.

  I could hear Cole and Matt in the lounge talking loudly and Evie laughing with them. Keira was sitting at the dining table on her laptop and I guessed Grant was still in his office working too. It was nice to hear the sounds of a family home around me.

  “You going to be ok?” Kyle asked as he studied me where we stood opposite each other just inside the wide glass doors.

  “Sure. I found a book in the office earlier. I’ll read that.”

  “Try and rest too. You look tired again.”

  “Sleep doesn’t exactly mean rest for me.” I blurted, then wondered what the hell had made me tell him that. I knew they were already worried about me, I hadn’t wanted to make it worse.

  “Nightmares?” He asked with concern. I nodded, knowing it was too late to lie now. “Ask Matt for some of his shitty tea. It tastes like crap, b
ut it does help.”

  “Ok.”

  “I’ll be home late, but I’ll check in on you. That ok?” He asked.

  “You don’t have to.”

  “I want to.” He said firmly.

  “Ok. Thank you.” He nodded in that stoic way he did, then smiled a little for me.

  “See you later Princess.” He placed a kiss on the top of my head, then turned and left. I just stood, still wrapped in his coat, trying to take in his kindness toward me. It was more than I ever expected and it filled me with hope.

  ***

  After Kyle left, I made my way to the media room and settled into the huge sofa there with the copy of ‘Sense and Sensibility’ I had taken from the office that morning. Keira had suggested it may be one that I’d enjoy, so I had agreed to give it a try. Two hours in and I was engrossed, swept up in the characters and the drama. I loved Elinor’s strong character, the way she held her crazy family together, I wished I could be that strong.

  “Livy?” I looked up and found Xander before me, dressed smartly in a tailored navy suit and a baby blue shirt, open collar, underneath.

  “Hi Xander.” I greeted cheerfully. I had missed him.

  “How are you doing sweetheart?” He asked as he walked over and sat next to me. I pressed into him and felt happy when he wrapped his arm around my back.

  “Good, I think.”

  “Matt told me about this morning, with Kade’s case. That was good work you did.”

  “I didn’t mean to. I saw it and I just thought it was a puzzle.”

  “It’s good that you solved it Livy. You’ve likely saved several lives by giving Kade and his team those numbers.”

  “I’m doing online classes too. Grant is going to set it up and Cole and Matt are staying home with me.” I explained I was kind of excited to restart school work. It was so long since I really engaged my brain, and after I got a taster that morning, I wanted more.

  “That’s good. You’ll catch up in no time, I’m sure.”

  “How was your day? You were working, right?”

  “I was. It was crazy busy in the ER today too. I haven’t stopped. I was just relieved to leave”

  “Is Simon with you?”

  “Yep. He’s entertaining Evie as we speak. You going to come and have dinner with us all?”

  “Of course, though I’m not very hungry. Matt’s been bringing me snacks all afternoon.” I laughed. Now Matt knew I could be tempted with sugar, he had been bringing me all manner of baked goods.

  “Good. You need the calories.” Xander pulled me up and held me close as we walked to the kitchen together. Everyone was sitting at the dining table, except for Matt who was working away in the kitchen.

  “Hey sweetie.” Simon greeted me when I walked in. He looked so different from the night before, this time dressed in dark jeans and a green hooded sweater with ‘HARVARD’ emblazoned across it.

  “Hi Simon.” I replied with a smile.

  “How are you feeling? He asked as Xander led me to the seat beside him. I sat and Xander sat next to me.

  “Better, Matt’s been feeding me up.” I joked.

  “That’s good. You look better. You have more colour.”

  “How’s the book?” Keira asked. She was sitting opposite me, Evie at her side and Grant sat at Evie’s other side.

  “Brilliant! I’m really enjoying it.”

  “I thought you would. It’s one of my favourites.”

  “What are you reading?” Xander asked. I lifted the book, which I was still clutching, and showed him.

  “Reading for fun! You disappoint me Brains,” Cole groaned.

  “Brains?” I questioned.

  “After this morning, that is totally your new nickname,” He said like it made complete sense.

  “There’s a pretty good movie you could watch once you’ve read the book Olivia. It’s not as good as the book, but still worth a watch.” Keira said, ignoring her son.

  “Oh, ok.” I agreed. I would love to see the characters come to life once I had finished reading.

  Matt brought us all out plates heaped with steaming pasta and a ton of salad and bread for the table.

  “I kept the sauce light for you Carina, but if it’s still too much just tell me and I’ll make you some eggs instead.” He explained as he placed a smaller serving in front of me,

  “Thank you Matt.” He was too good to me. I found it overwhelming.

  “Where are the others?” Xander asked as we all started eating.

  “Kade’s working that case now Olivia solved it for him, and Kyle has a job.” Grant answered.

  “I made them both plates for when they get home.” Matt added and I marvelled at how thoughtful he was.

  “Kyle seems a lot better.” Xander commented and I listened more closely, wanting to know what had happened to hurt Kyle so much.

  “It’s that new job. The owner was a marine and he and Kyle worked a few missions together in Iraq. When he heard about the botched mission and Kyle’s team, he got in touch and offered him a job. Kyle turned him down, but this guy, Rob, he wouldn’t give up. I don’t know how he did it, but he got through your brother’s thick skull and spoke some sense into him. He’s just been doing better and better ever since.” Grant explained. I wondered what had happened to make a ‘botched mission’. Whatever it was, it didn’t sound good. Had Kyle been hurt? I was desperate to ask, but I didn’t want to interfere in things that weren’t my business.

  “That’s great. Let’s hope it’s enough to keep him moving in the right direction.” Xander said and everyone nodded.

  “He’s tough. He’ll come through this.” Keira added hopefully, and I watched as Grant leant over and held her hand in his supportively.

  “I’m tough too. I can do karate, Kyle showed me!” Evie declared, making everyone laugh.

  “Yes you are pumpkin, but please remember we do not use those moves Kyle taught you in the playground, right?” Keira asked with a hint of scorn.

  “Tyler deserved to be kicked. He pulled my hair!” Evie cried defensively.

  “That’s right Evie. You were defending yourself. Never let people hurt you.” Cole agreed wholeheartedly.

  “Cole!” Keira snapped as she glared at him.

  “He’s right Mom. All that ‘use your words’ is crap. Evie needs to know it’s alright to fight back if she needs to.” Matt agreed.

  “Oh great. You boys go and tell that to the principal next time Evie gets in trouble for fighting then.”

  “We will if we have to.” Cole replied flatly.

  I looked to the little girl in question, a huge smile on her face, feeling very satisfied that her brothers had her back. They were right of course. Would I have been taken if I had been taught to fight back?

  It had been just like any other morning as I left my mom at the door of our home and walked the short five minute route to school. I had done it a ton of times before. We lived in a safe area and most of the kids walked to school on their own, or in groups. I was practically skipping down the street, my pink butterfly backpack strapped on my back and my hair tied in curly little bunches, just like Evie’s. I had been excited to get to the playground to meet my best friend Sarah. We had planned to sign up for the talent contest. I was going to play piano and she would sing. I reached the end of my street and was waiting to cross the small road when a hand had clamped down over my nose and mouth and the other lifted me clear from the ground.

  I tried to scream, but it was muffled by the filthy, sweaty smelling hand. I started to struggle, squirming in the grip and bucking my body, but I was tiny, even smaller than the average nine year old. In a matter of seconds I was thrown into the back of a van, hard. I banged my head on something hard and things were fuzzy for a few minutes. By the time I came to, the van was moving too fast for me to try and jump out. Terrified and hurting I had curled up in the corner and cried hard, as The Shadow drove me to my own personal hell.

  “Olivia?” A hand touched my shoulder and I
leapt, badly startled from the memory. I jumped to my feet, the seat smashing to the hard tile behind me, but I was confused and dazed. I stumbled back tripping over the chair and fighting to get away from everyone as I fought to take in a breath.

  “Hey, Hey! Olivia, it’s just me. You’re ok!” Xander said as he leapt up and followed me. It took me several seconds to realise it was him. I looked around, seeing everyone looking at me with worry. Keira and Grant were on their feet and moving slowly toward me.

  “I….I’m sorry.” I gasped when I realised what had happened.

  “Just breathe Livy, nice big, deep breaths.” Xander said calmly.

  “Mommy is Livia ok?” Evie asked frantically and I knew I was scaring her.

  “I’m ok.” I told her quickly. “I…..I need a minute.” I turned and ran from the room, not wanting to subject that poor child to my meltdown. I made it to the hall where I collapsed down on the bottom step of the staircase. I could barely breathe and I was shaking badly.

  Footsteps hurried after me and when I looked up Matt, Cole and Xander were all there, watching me.

  Xander crouched before me and took my hand slowly. I let him, needing the contact.

  “Deep breaths.” He whispered as he met my panicked eyes. “You’re alright, you’re safe here.” He added calmly. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, then focused on the feel of his hand surrounding mine as I fought for calm.

  Finally I managed to find some equilibrium and get a full breath in. More followed and the trembling eased off. The memories shrank back to their torture box, and I was able to, at last, open my eyes.

  The guys were all looking at me with so much worry and concern and I hated that I had scared them, and myself, but I had no idea how to stop the frightening memories when they came crashing in.

  “You back with us Brains?” Cole asked, his stupid nickname for me, making me smile.

  “Yeah. I’m sorry. I got kinda lost for a minute.”

  “You don’t need to be sorry Carina, as long as you always find your way back to us, that’s all that matters.” Matt said softly.