Empath: A Complete Guide for Developing Your Gift and Finding Your Sense of Self

by Judy Dyer

  Pay close attention to the lighting, the noise levels, the amount of clutter, and the layout of the desks. Ask yourself whether you could be comfortable working in such an environment, from both a physical and emotional perspective. A high salary might be enticing, but your health and sanity must come first. Even if other people tell you that a job is too good an opportunity to pass up, trust your intuition.

  You have the power to make a positive difference in the workplace, but you are under no obligation to sacrifice your mental and physical health if doing so is beyond your comfort zone. Never feel bad about choosing the right job for you.

  Use Your Gift As A Selling Point

  Empaths are not show-offs by nature, and the prospect of selling yourself in a job interview might be enough to make you feel queasy. But think of it this way – your empathic qualities are actually an increasingly valuable commodity in the workplace. We tend to associate the business world, and even the public sector, with a kind of cut-throat mentality where everyone is trying to outdo one another and compete for the best positions and the most money.

  However, our society is increasingly aware that taking care of one another and our planet is the only way forward. We still have a long way to go in creating a more caring world but, in general, we are starting to understand the benefit of a healthy work-life balance and the merit of cooperative working practices rather than a dog-eat-dog mentality. If you feel up to the challenge, you can use your gift to help drive this change!

  You know that there is far more to life – and work – than status or salary. Your gift makes you perfectly suited to roles that require listening, conflict resolution, and mentoring skills. Psychiatrist, author, and empath Dr. Judith Orloff maintains that empaths bring passion, excellent communication skills, and leadership ability to their professional roles. When an interviewer asks what you can bring to a job, don’t hesitate to give examples of times you have demonstrated these gifts.

  Working Alone Versus Working With Others

  Although you have strong leadership potential, a role involving extensive contact with colleagues and customers on a day-to-day basis may prove too draining, especially if you are not yet confident in your ability to handle negative energy and toxic individuals. Be honest with yourself when applying for a position. If it entails working as part of a busy team with few opportunities to recharge during the day, think carefully before making an application.

  Most empaths are well suited to working for themselves or taking on jobs within small organizations. Working in a large office or noisy environment may be too stimulating – and that’s fine! We all have different needs and talents, so do not allow anyone to make you feel inferior for not being able to handle a “normal” workplace. As an empath, you may quickly become overwhelmed by the prospect of having to interact with coworkers, members of the management team, and customers.

  On the other hand, working alone can result in social isolation if you take it to extremes. If you decide to run a small business from home, for example, be sure to schedule some time with family and friends at least a couple of times per week.

  Not only do you need to nurture your relationships, but it is also helpful to gain an outsider’s perspective on your work from time to time. Sometimes, you may get so caught up in a project that relatively minor problems seem to take on a life of their own. Talking to other people allows you to take a more realistic view and help you come up with new solutions.

  If Your Environment Drains Your Energy, Ask For Reasonable Adjustments

  You can’t expect your boss to redecorate the office just to suit your preferences or to fire an energy vampire, but you can ask them politely whether they would mind making a few small adjustments. For example, if there is a harsh strip light directly over your desk, you could ask whether it would be possible to turn off the light and use softer, gentler lamps instead.

  If you work in an environment in which people talk loudly, experiment with white noise or other sound recordings designed to trigger feelings of calm and emotional stability. Try sounds recorded in nature, as these are often soothing for empaths. You can find lots of free resources on YouTube or specialized noise-generating sites such as mynoise.net. If possible, listen to natural or white noise via noise-cancellation headphones for at least a portion of your workday.

  There are also additions and adjustments you can make that do not require permission from your boss. For instance, you can place crystals on your desk as a means of countering negative energy and set aside a few minutes each day – even if you are incredibly busy – to ensure your desk is clear of unnecessary clutter. If you work with a computer, pick a calming scene or color as your desktop wallpaper. Frame a photo or uplifting picture and keep it on your desk. Look at it for a few seconds when you need a dose of positive energy.

  If you enjoy your job but would prefer to spend less time around other people, consider asking your manager whether you can work from home a couple of days each week. This can give you some respite from other peoples’ energy and enables you to take a break at any time. Working from home comes with the privilege of setting up an environment that suits you perfectly. For example, you could install a water feature on your desk or play natural background noise throughout the day without fear of eliciting annoying questions from your coworkers.

  Watch Out For Energy Vampires

  If you come across an energy vampire in your personal life, you usually have the option of cutting contact with them, or at least limiting how much time the two of you spend hanging out. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case when you are forced to work alongside them.

  This is where boundaries come into play. You need to politely but firmly assert yourself from the outset of your professional relationship. Don’t be drawn into petty workplace gossip, and don’t accept any invitations from toxic people to socialize outside of work. Draw on your best energy self-defense skills, and always put your wellbeing before professional obligations.

  Empaths who choose to work in the helping professions, whether with other people or animals, need to remain aware of the effect of their work on their energy levels. For example, if you work as a psychologist or therapist, speaking to a client who is going through an especially sad or difficult time in their life can leave you exhausted, depleted, and even depressed. Be sure to allow a few minutes between clients or appointments in which to ground yourself, and schedule plenty of time to relax and nurture yourself outside of work.

  Draw A Line Between Your Workplace and Home

  If you work outside the home, it’s a good idea to devise a routine that creates a clear dividing line between your professional and personal life. As an empath, you are susceptible to carrying the negative energy of others with you. You may catch yourself worrying not only about the problems you are facing at work, but also those of your colleagues, bosses, and customers. Unless you learn how to “switch off,” you will soon become overwhelmed, anxious, and depressed.

  When it’s time to wrap up your work for the day, stay mindful of the transition between work and home. Create a ritual that automatically encourages you to switch your focus to personal interests and feelings rather than those of colleagues and clients. For example, you may wish to spend the final five minutes of your workday in meditation or tidying your desk whilst listening to a particular soundtrack or piece of music. If you have a friend or relative who always raises your energy levels, you could get into the habit of texting them just before leaving work or on the way home.

  Focus On How Your Work Helps Others

  It isn’t always possible to change your job or work in the field of your choosing. If you are stuck in a job that isn’t right for you and are in no position to make a change any time soon, try approaching your work with a new mindset.

  As an empath, you have a talent for helping others. Not only do they benefit from your support, but you also get to soak up their positive energy too. It’s truly a win-win situation! Try to find opportunities to lend a hand to
someone else, and offer emotional support as long as it doesn’t leave you feeling too drained.

  For example, if one of your colleagues seems especially stressed, take the initiative and ask them if they’d like to talk to you for five minutes about anything that’s bothering them. Sometimes, just offering a listening ear can turn someone’s day around! Or perhaps you could offer a more practical form of help. For instance, you could offer to take everyone’s mail to the mailroom on your coffee break. Acts of service and kindness allow you to find a sense of meaning in your work, even if you are hoping to change careers in the near future.

  Chapter 8: Normalizing and Maintaining Your Gift

  Now that you have learned how to embrace and leverage your gift, the next step is to normalize it. This involves learning how to make the gift a normal part of everyday life. At this stage, you will no longer need to think about how you plan on responding or how you intend to use your gift, you will just be able to use it and reap the benefits from it. There will be no need to put any effort into the thinking about tapping into your gift; it will become like the air that you breathe.

  The normalizing process is a crucial part of fully stepping into your gift as an empath. It will free you from worrying about the fact that you are an empath because now you are capable of managing it consistently. Never again will you have to worry that your gift has some type of hold over you because you now know what you need to do when things get out of control. You will be able to tune in and out of energy when you want to.

  You will never become void of all the emotions that you used to feel; when you are normalized, you will only feel the emotions and energy that you want to feel. You will no longer pick up energy from other people or feel an immediate negative reaction to the energies that you are exposed to. Once upon a time, you might have lost your temper or become exhausted and drained because of negative energy. You may have avoided crowds, public places, certain people, dinner parties, family gatherings and house warming parties because you knew that you would leave feeling drained, overwhelmed and exhausted, which could last for several days. During that time, you were perplexed as to where these feelings were coming from, leading you to feel frustrated and irritated as a result.

  Now that you have become accustomed to life as an empath, you no longer experience these negative feelings. You can walk into a room full of unfamiliar or familiar people and feel energized and empowered. You no longer absorb the emotions and energies from other people; you are still capable of reading their emotions but they no longer have the power to hold you hostage. You know how to ground yourself and deflect the feelings, energy and emotions that are not beneficial to you.

  Maintain Your Gift

  Maintaining and mastering your gift are two completely different processes. When you have mastered your gift, you find it easy to live in harmony with it and as discussed above, you have normalized it. However, don’t get comfortable once you have reached the normalization stage because now you need to maintain your gift to ensure that you don’t regress to the beginning stages of learning that you were an empath. There are several things that you will need to do to maintain your gift. This process will enable you to live in perfect harmony with your gift.

  Regular Check In

  To maintain your gift, it is important that you check in on a regular basis. You should do this a minimum of once a day, but you should really aim for twice a day. The best times to do so are first thing in the morning and before you go to bed. This will enable you to reflect on the things that have had the most effect on you throughout the day. In the morning, you are capable of recognizing residual experiences that you have been unconsciously holding onto. Much of what attaches itself to our minds often comes to life in our dreams; you can then let these feelings go and get on with your day in peace and harmony.

  It is a good time to check in before going to bed because the experiences that you have had throughout the day will be fresh in your mind. You will be able to detect how these experiences have affected you and release them so that you can have a peaceful and restful sleep.

  Daily Meditation

  The best time to meditate is as soon as you wake up in the morning and just before you are going to bed at night. However, make sure that you don’t make a habit of meditating until you fall asleep because this can have a negative effect on your meditation practices. It can leave an imprint on your unconscious mind causing you to associate meditation with sleeping, which will lead you to fall asleep during your meditation times in the morning and throughout the day. Meditating gives you the opportunity to rest with your energy. You don’t have to feel as if you are in control; there is no stress and you can enjoy your energy at that moment.

  Deep Breathing

  It is important that you relax often, but at the same time, you should make sure that your breathing follows a certain pattern. Deep breathing allows you to relax completely by achieving a state of rest within your body. A good breathing exercise that you can try is to breath in for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 6 seconds and then breathe out for 8 seconds. This will help you eliminate any excess air from your body. At the same time as taking deep breaths, you can imagine any negative energy or stress leaving your body with the air.

  Deep breathing is an excellent way of centering yourself and quickly gaining harmony within. If you ever find yourself struggling with your grounding exercise, begin to intentionally center your breathing. This will help you gain complete control over emotions and come back to your power center. It is advised that you practice breathing deeply daily and anytime that you find yourself in a distressing situation.

  Intentional Grounding

  An important part of normalizing your abilities as an empath is that you ground and shield yourself on a regular basis. The process of grounding allows you to regularly eliminate unwanted energy and intentionally come back to your center.

  You should never leave maintaining your energy on autopilot because you will fall out of alignment very quickly and become unbalanced. Even when you have managed to master your abilities as an empath, you will still find that you get into situations where you are absorbing energy from other people.

  Chapter 9: How to Support a Young Empath

  You now know how to take care of yourself as an empath, and how to best use your gift. However, if you have a young empath in your life, it’s important that you also understand how to support them. Children with this ability often face significant challenges, but your support can make all the difference as they come to terms with the fact that they are different from their peers.

  Being an empathic child is tough, but young empaths have so much to offer our world, and they should be appreciated! Psychologist and empathy expert Dr. Michele Borba believes teenagers today are running low on empathy. In fact, they are only half as empathic as those of previous generations. It’s clear that young empaths have a lot to teach their peers.

  How To Spot A Young Empath

  Empathic gifts are present from birth, and young empaths have the same abilities and needs as empathic adults. However, because children have less experience in understanding and expressing their own emotions, their empathic nature may manifest in a different way.

  Empathic children usually prefer to play alone or in the company of just one or two good friends. In general, they gain more enjoyment from talking and playing with older children and adults than those their own age. It isn’t that they believe themselves to be superior to their classmates. Rather, a young empath’s unusual maturity means that they are on the same wavelength as those older than themselves. They may report feeling distant or alienated from people their own age.

  An empathic child may surprise you with their uncanny ability to hone in on what others are thinking and feeling. For example, you may be feeling stressed about an incident at work while cooking dinner for the family one evening. Your empath child might walk past the kitchen door and immediately discern that you are upset about something that has happened du
ring the day. They may well give you a hug and ask you to tell them exactly what or who has made you sad.

  It is important that you strike a balance between honoring their gift and overloading them with inappropriate information. If you are upset or angry, denying it will teach your child that their intuition cannot be trusted, which will instill self-doubt and confusion.

  On the other hand, there is no need to share too many details, as this could cause them unnecessary distress. For example, a young child does not need to know absolutely everything about a serious illness or assault. A simple acknowledgment of the situation and the feelings that go with it will be sufficient in most cases. Do not lie to your child and keep discussions age-appropriate.

  Uncover The Real Reasons Behind Temper Tantrums

  Think carefully before chastising a young empath for bad behavior. Yes, they might be disobeying you simply because they are a naughty child, but they could also be acting out in response to overwhelming stimuli in their environment.

  Consider the situation from a toddler’s perspective. As an empathic adult, you can usually make your excuses and leave if you find yourself bombarded by too much noise or light. Unfortunately, a young child has less autonomy and often has no choice but to endure it. In a bid to protect themselves, they may either freeze up – which is why empathic children are often labeled “shy” – or they can attempt to regain control over the situation by causing their own noise and disturbance!