Fix You

by Mari Carr

  Dedication

  To Kristin Daniels. A true heroine, a classy lady, and a very dear friend.

  Prologue

  Laura lifted the wine bottle and looked at Zoey. “You want another glass of Pinot Grigio or do you want to try the red?”

  Zoey Emerson tried to decide if the hangover she was going to suffer tomorrow morning was a foregone conclusion or if the potential headache was still salvageable. “Screw it. Let me try the red.”

  Mixing flavors probably wasn’t the smartest thing, but Zoey was feeling a bit sorry for herself. Robbie had called to say the band’s manager had booked an extra show in their tour, so her original plans for New Year’s Eve were shot to hell.

  Luckily, plan B had commenced so she wasn’t alone. Glancing around the room, she had to admit that—in some ways—plan B rocked. She was sitting in Laura’s living room surrounded by the five women who’d become her lifeline in the past year. They all lived in connected townhouses that spanned one of the city blocks in their small town of Harrisburg. In the center of the square was a common grassy yard where they had met at the beginning of last spring when they’d come out to soak up the first bit of warmth after a long winter. Conversations started and soon a couple of bottles of wine appeared. After that, they met every Thursday afternoon for what Kristen dubbed the weekend pre-game happy hour.

  This particular Thursday also happened to be New Year’s Eve. Unfortunately, the holiday hadn’t caused a ripple in their traditional wine night. All of them were sitting together and drinking wine with no plans for the evening. Zoey found the idea depressing.

  “What are we doing here?” She hadn’t meant to say the words aloud, but she couldn’t hold back her frustration.

  “Drinking wine?” Shelly asked, clearly not catching her drift.

  “No,” Zoey said. “I mean here. Tonight. It’s freaking New Year’s Eve. We’re six attractive, intelligent women. Why the hell are we sitting in this townhouse instead of getting out there on the town, meeting people, having fun?”

  Laura scowled. “By people you mean men. No thanks. Been there, done that. I prefer my quiet evenings here with you ladies rather than subjecting myself to the meat market where I’ll have to make conversation with a bunch of jackasses.”

  “Laura,” Kristen said. “You married your high school sweetheart. It’s not exactly like you’ve given the jackasses a fair chance.”

  Laura adjusted her glasses and grinned. “I wish I’d given a few more of them a second look when I was younger. Instead I gave one man over twenty years of my life and look what it got me. An empty nest with a grumpy husband.”

  Zoey could understand Laura’s disappointment. She and her husband had built a life together, but they’d made the mistake of using their children as the glue. When the kids left, the marriage crumbled.

  “So why not go out and test drive a few models now?” Georgie asked.

  Laura sighed. “I’m not exactly young. And I just don’t have the energy.” Laura’s gaze drifted to Zoey. “Maybe I should be throwing your question back at you. I know why I’m here tonight. I want to be. What’s your excuse?”

  Zoey crinkled her nose, annoyed at being caught in her own trap. “I had other plans,” she said, somewhat defensively.

  Kristen chuckled. “Going out with Rob doesn’t count. That’s sort of the equivalent of spending the holiday with us. Unless there really is more going on there than you’ve shared. ’Fess up. Are you and Rob an i—”

  “No.” Zoey cut off Kristen’s question. It was one she was asked far too often. “I’ve told you girls a gazillion times. We are just friends. That’s all we’ve ever been. All we’re ever going to be. Friends.”

  Georgie shook her head. “What a waste. You two are perfect for each other.”

  Zoey took a long sip of her wine. Lately she had been having some rather inappropriate fantasies about her best friend. Not that she’d ever act on them. She and Robbie had grown up together and they’d been roommates since the day she turned twenty-one fourteen years ago. She did an internal headshake. Where the hell had that time gone? “I’m not sure perfect is the word I’d use. We’d probably kill each other if we ever attempted a real relationship.”

  “I’m not so sure about that,” Shelly said. “I know you miss him.”

  Robbie had been out on tour for months. Absence had indeed made her heart grow fonder. It ached without him, but she couldn’t seem to confess that truth to her friends. She had a hard enough time admitting it to herself. “Are you kidding? I’ve got the world’s greatest setup. My own place with an absent roommate who splits the rent.”

  “You’re lying.” Shelly tucked her legs beneath her on the couch and sighed. “He’s completely gorgeous and you’re crazy for not asking him out.”

  Shelly was the consummate romantic of the group. As far as Zoey could tell, she was also a virgin. She and Josie had wondered once if she’d ever been kissed.

  Josie tugged Shelly’s blonde hair affectionately. “People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. What about your crush on that guy at work? I thought you were going to invite him to lunch. What happened there?”

  Shelly blushed slightly and pointed to Zoey. “If I had her petite figure, I’d ask him out in a heartbeat.” She looked down at herself. “Unfortunately, I don’t think Christian has any interest in going out with Shelly Belly.”

  Josie narrowed her eyes. “I thought we’d forbidden you to call yourself that.”

  Shelly shrugged. “Not saying it doesn’t make it less true. I’m fat, not blind. Guys don’t look at me that way.”

  “What way?” Kristen asked.

  “Like they want to rip all my clothes off and have sex with me.”

  Zoey sighed. Shelly’s lack of self-esteem was something they’d all been working to bolster over the past few months. It appeared they weren’t having much success.

  “So you’re going to be an old maid? Forever?” Josie asked.

  Laura topped up her glass. “Nothing wrong with a woman living on her own. Trust me, Shelly, married life is not all it’s cracked up to be.”

  Josie groaned. “I’m not telling her to get married. Jesus, you should know better. I’m just telling her to get laid.”

  Josie was probably the only woman in the room more anti-marriage than Laura, though Zoey didn’t blame her for being a bit sour on the institution. According to Josie, before she figured out what a lying prick he was, her ex had set the record for most affairs during their six-year span of wedded hell.

  Kristen snorted. “Let’s face it. Women who end up living here on Losers’ Lane are pretty much at the end of their options.” Leave it to Kristen to tell the hard truths. They actually lived on Lovett’s Lane, but none of the women had called the street by its proper name since Kristen dubbed it Losers’ Lane last summer.

  Zoey looked around the room at her friends. Kristen was approaching a milestone birthday this year. Forty was knocking on the successful lawyer’s door. Zoey knew no matter how much she pretended she was fine with her life, Kristen was quite lonely. Laura and Josie had been hurt so deeply by their ex-husbands, Zoey feared they’d never open themselves up to love again. Shelly was crippled by her weight and lacking self-esteem. And then there was Georgie, the biggest commitment-phobe on the planet.

  Something inside Zoey snapped. This room was full of beautiful, caring, intelligent women and it was high time they all made some changes.

  “You know what, I don’t buy that, Kris.” Zoey sat up straighter. “I think we need to make some vows right here and now. This year will be the year things change. For all of us.”

  “Oh shit,” Georgie said. “You’re not proposing we make New Year’s Resolutions, are you? I suck at those.”

  “No. Not resolutions. Seco
nd chances. Maybe the past hasn’t exactly been our friend. I say we throw all that shit away and start fresh.”

  “How?” Kristen asked.

  Zoey thought for a moment. “We each need to think, really think, about what would make us happy and go for it.”

  Shelly never missed a beat. “I want to lose weight.”

  “Jeez, Shelly. When will you see that you’re beautiful the way you are?” Josie and Shelly, the youngest of the group, had become the best of friends.

  “Not because I think it will help me catch a guy. I want to lose it for me. I’m twenty-eight years old with bad knees, bad feet, high blood pressure. Jesus. I’m too young to feel this damn old. Being healthier would make me happy. In fact, I know you all probably can’t tell, but I already started. I’ve lost fifteen pounds.”

  “Good for you,” Georgie said, lifting her glass in a silent cheer. “I think that sounds like a terrific second chance. Mine’s going to be something a bit more unconventional. I’ve been doing a lot of second guessing lately. Zoey said we should throw all our past shit away, but I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

  “Why not?” Laura asked.

  “I told you all I’d been engaged three times, right?”

  Zoey nodded and grinned. Georgie had funny nicknames for each of her previous beaus. “Yeah. What about it?”

  “I’ve been wondering lately if I had Mr. Right, but let him go. I’m going to go on a quest.”

  Kristen closed her eyes and shook her head. “Christ. I don’t like the sound of this.”

  “What sort of quest?” Josie asked, leaning forward, her eyes gleaming with excitement.

  “I’m going to reconnect with my previous fiancés and make sure I was right to dump them.”

  “How the hell can you figure that out?” Laura asked.

  Georgie shrugged. “I don’t have a fucking clue, but I’ve spent too many nights lately, tossing and turning, wondering what if. Zoey said we need to find our future happiness. I can’t do that while I’m always looking behind me.”

  “I think that’s a great goal.” Shelly leaned forward to grab a carrot stick from the veggie platter.

  “What about the rest of you?” Georgie asked.

  Josie leaned back on the couch and gave them all a wicked grin. “I’m going to howl.”

  Laura, who’d risen to grab another bottle of wine from the kitchen, froze. “What the hell does that mean?”

  “Sex. I’ve been thinking about all the things I’d like to try in bed while I’m still young enough and limber enough to strike the poses.”

  Zoey laughed. “I’m afraid to ask.”

  “I’ve got a list,” Josie confessed. “There are twelve items on it, so I’ve decided to call it my Howl List. Twelve full moons in a year, twelve nights of sexual exploration. This is my year.”

  “I don’t mean to be an alarmist,” Kristen said, leaning forward, “but the first full moon is next week. What’s number one on the list?”

  Josie looked completely unconcerned. “Sex with a stranger. Thought I’d start easy, then work my way up to the really wild stuff.”

  “That’s easy?” Shelly asked.

  Her nervous tone made Zoey more certain than ever that Shelly was indeed still a virgin. “Only for Josie.”

  “I’m going to find a husband.” Everyone turned to Kristen in amazement after her unexpected announcement. Of all of them, she was the one least concerned with relationships, claiming that her career was the most important thing in her life. She rolled her eyes. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m not a completely heartless bitch. The law firm’s exceeded even my expectations the past few years. I’m comfortable, happy there. So it’s time I got my personal life under control.”

  “Finding a husband isn’t exactly easy, Kris,” Laura said. She was still standing at the door to the kitchen.

  Kristen waved her hand. “It can’t be that hard. I’m never hurting for dates. I’ll just start being more serious about forging a relationship. Besides, I can always enact my backup plan if worse comes to worst.”

  “Backup plan?” Laura asked.

  “Jason and I have a deal. If neither of us is married by forty, we’ll marry each other. He turns forty the month before me.”

  Laura gave up getting the wine and returned to her seat, dropping down heavily. “Jason? Your law partner?”

  Kristen nodded. “Sure. Why not?”

  “Doesn’t he sort of drive you crazy? And I don’t mean that in a sexual way,” Georgie said.

  “We work very well together and when he’s not arguing with me over something stupid, he’s actually a lot of fun to be with,” Kristen explained.

  Laura bit her lip. “That would be fine except for the fact he’s always arguing with you over something stupid. Always,” Laura stressed.

  Kristen waved her off. “He’s just the backup plan. Believe me, I have no intention of initiating that deal.”

  “Right,” Laura drawled. “You’ll just go out and find yourself a husband in the next six months. Easy peasy.”

  Laura’s tone dripped sarcasm, but Kristen either didn’t hear it or chose to ignore it. “Exactly, and before you try to sneak out, what’s your plan for a second chance?”

  Laura had actually risen again. Kristen had busted her in the act of trying to escape.

  “Mine’s going to sound dumb.”

  “Dumber than me looking up old boyfriends or Josie’s fucking Howl List?” Georgie asked, rubbing her hands together with glee. “Can’t wait to hear this.”

  They all laughed.

  Laura sighed. “Maybe dumb was the wrong word. Mine’s actually pretty boring. I just want to find myself again. Want to find the girl I was before I let my marriage, my kids, my husband define me. I used to have fun. I laughed all the time, did crazy things with my friends. I’m tired of being so serious and predictable all the time.”

  “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that goal,” Shelly said. “It’s a good one. So what about you, Zoey? You haven’t told us yours.”

  Zoey closed her eyes and tried to imagine herself happy, tried to figure out where that emotion could be found. The answer was obvious, but it wasn’t one she felt comfortable saying aloud. Instead, she said, “My goal is to get healthy. I’m going to make a doctor’s appointment a month until I’ve gotten the all-clear on my teeth, eyes, boobs, and hoohah.” Her friends accepted her answer with a laugh. Zoey smiled while her true second chance whispered inside her head.

  I’m going to tell my best friend I’m in love with him.

  Chapter One

  Twenty-five years earlier

  “Who has the baseball?”

  When Zoey heard the voices of boys heading her way, she stepped off the front porch of her family’s new house and drifted toward the sidewalk. Her parents had thought they were doing her a favor, postponing their move to Harrisburg until after school was over. They didn’t want her to have to change schools in the middle of her fourth grade year. At the time, she’d been happy not to have to leave her best friend, Crystal.

  Now she realized her parents had made a big mistake. It was the beginning of summer and she was in a strange place with no friends to help her pass the long, boring days until school started again in September.

  To add insult to injury, it looked like her mom and dad had managed to buy a house in a neighborhood filled with nothing but boys. After a week of roaming around by herself, Zoey had only spotted one other girl on the street—a four-year-old whiner who was constantly crying for her mother. She hated it here. She was bored. And lonely.

  The gang of boys slowed down when they spotted her on the sidewalk. After five days of watching them traipse by her house to the park, she’d decided she wasn’t going to spend today alone.

  “Hey,” she said as they drew nearer. There were five of them and they all seemed to be around her age. They had baseball mitts dangling from their hands and one boy was dragging a bat behind him.

  “Hey,” t
he tallest boy in the group said.

  “Going to play baseball?”

  They nodded.

  “Can I come?”

  A couple of the boys looked like they wanted to invite her, but once again, it was the tall boy who answered. “No girls allowed.”

  “I’m a good pitcher,” she lied. Truth was she hated baseball, but anything was better than the solitude that had plagued her for days.

  Apparently she’d chosen the wrong position. “I’m the pitcher,” the tall boy said angrily. “And I told you. No girls. Come on, guys.”

  They continued walking toward the park as Zoey’s eyes filled with tears. She batted them away quickly. Boys were jerks.

  She walked back toward her front porch, disheartened. She’d exhausted her mother’s list of so-called fun summer activities. She was tired of coloring, watching movies and reading. While her room was unpacked and completely decorated, her parents were still busy painting and fixing up the rest of the house. She’d offered to help several times, but they told her she’d just be in the way and instructed her to go out and make some new friends, play.

  Zoey sank onto the top step of the porch and sighed. She hated this stupid town, this stupid house and those stupid boys.

  Another boy came running down the street in the direction of the park. Clearly he was late and trying to catch up with the others. Zoey didn’t stir, didn’t bother to wave. What was the point? No girls allowed. The brown-haired boy had almost passed her house when he noticed her and slowed down.

  When he turned to look at her, she felt a stirring of hope. Maybe this boy would be nicer than the others. She lifted her hand and waved.

  He stopped and approached her house. “Hi,” he said.

  His face was friendly, open, and Zoey liked him instantly. She grinned. “Hi.”

  “You’re new here, aren’t you?”

  She nodded. “We just moved in last week. I’m Zoey.”

  The boy’s smile widened. “I’m Robbie Granger. I live across the street, three houses down that way.” He pointed to a home with deep blue shutters and a wide front porch that resembled the one she was sitting on.