Shark Out of Water

by DelSheree Gladden

  Vance laughed and clapped Guy on the back. “Dude, I think you were the only one who grew up having dinner parties like that. The rest of us had pizza on napkins with soda cans instead of crystal.”

  “What about the American saying to go cold turkey? It makes absolutely no sense!” Guy argued.

  “I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation,” Vance said with a shrug. “Probably something to do with…turkey behavior, or Pilgrims, or…”

  He looked toward Leo, who they all knew was trivia fanatic, but he only shrugged. Guy folded his arms, sure he had them stumped this time. Until Eli broke in.

  “Pilgrims, Vance? Really? You were closer with turkey behavior. And Leo, how could you possibly not know this one? It’s fairly obvious,” Eli said seriously, doctor face in place. “To go cold turkey is an eighteenth century reference to the look of a plucked turkey’s pale, bumpy skin, which may resemble a person going through withdrawals.”

  The table was dead silent. More than one person looked rather impressed Eli knew the explanation. Guy narrowed his eyes at his friend. “You googled that, did you not?”

  Everyone exploded in laughter as Eli held up his phone with a bowed head. Leila poked him in the side with a reproachful look. It did not last long. She chuckled as well before turning to Guy. “If you decide to bring someone tomorrow, just let Ana know. She already planned for you to bring a guest. If you don’t, we’ll just have an empty seat at Steph’s table. It’s fine either way.”

  The expression on Ana’s face said it was not fine at all for there to be an empty chair in her expertly planned seating chart, and no preprinted name card as well, but she refrained from commenting. Leila did not know the specifics of Guy’s week, only that it had not been easy for him. It was clear to everyone that she was simply being kind to Guy, and not trying to disrupt Ana’s plans. After a moment, Ana’s irritation faded, though his friends went right back to their jabs.

  “If he doesn’t bring anyone, he’s bound to leave with someone, especially if there are strawberries involved,” Leo said with a laugh.

  Guy rolled his eyes as his face flushed. Precious little could embarrass him, but he found himself cursing his sister once again for ever letting slip that personal detail. She had learned it from one of Guy’s past girlfriends, who had been rather angry after the break up, and Sabine had teased him about it within hearing distance of Leo. His friend swore to never let him live it down, and he made good on his promise every chance he got. Everyone else at the table was laughing at him except for Ana.

  “What are you talking about? Leila is allergic to strawberries. There won’t be a single one at the reception,” Ana said, looking somewhat panicked.

  “It’s all right,” Leila said. “They’re just teasing Guy because he has something of a strawberry fetish.”

  “It is not a fetish,” Guy snapped.

  Leo busted up into peals of laughter. “Not a fetish? No, it’s just the one thing that can instantly turn you on.” Ana’s eyes widened at hearing such personal information, which only made Leo laugh even harder.

  “I wouldn’t be too concerned about Guy’s lack of companionship,” Vance countered, making Guy roll his eyes again. They all knew that while their friend enjoyed an active social life, he was not on the prowl for a perpetual one night stand. He wanted a casual relationship, that was it.

  “When did you all turn into comedians?”

  “Don’t worry, Guy,” Leila said, “they’re amateurs.”

  “Oui? Then I suppose you are the master?”

  Leila smirked. “Of course. That’s why your phone is about to start buzzing like mad.” She winked, seconds before his phone began vibrating like it had suddenly morphed into a miniature jackhammer.

  Guy’s eyes snapped over to Leila, narrowed yet intrigued. “What did you do, you tricky woman?” She just smiled, so Guy picked up his phone. He started shaking his head as soon as he saw what Leila had posted on his Facebook timeline.

  Guy, sorry to hear about you and India. Right before our wedding even (sad face icon)! I’m sure if you want a plus one for tomorrow, someone will volunteer. At eleven a.m. At Greenhouse Loft.

  The buzzing came from more than a dozen messages from women letting Guy know they were available if he needed a date for the wedding. Shaking his head with a smile, Guy looked up at Leila and mimed tipping his hat to her. She bowed, a huge grin on her face.

  Her teasing made him laugh, which he needed very much. Guy attended events without a date frequently. It did not bother him to arrive at a party or group outing alone. He enjoyed dating, but never felt like he needed a companion to not feel out of place. Leila knew that, but as usual, she also knew when one of her friends needed to smile.

  “Now that my love life is in hand, can we get back to yours?” Guy asked, feeling as though some of the tension from the day had left him. “Is there anything else either of you need before tomorrow?”

  Ana looked offended at the question. “Everything is already taken care of, Guy.”

  “I meant last minute requests.” He turned back to Eli and Leila. “Do you have all of the traditional tokens, Leila? Eli, did you ever find the right cufflinks? I can bring my extra sets if you are not sure about the ones you have.”

  For a moment, everyone at the table just stared at him. The corner of Leila’s mouth turned up slowly. “You know about something borrowed, something blue?”

  “Of course,” Guy said. “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence in her shoe.”

  “Sixpence?” Eli asked. “Is that part of the rhyme?”

  “Traditionally. Do you need one, Leila?”

  “Do you have one?” she asked. When Guy nodded, she smiled, seeming rather touched by his offer. “I would love to have one, Guy. Thank you.”

  “And yes,” Ana interjected, “Eli would like to see your cufflinks. The ones he bought are dreadful.”

  “They are not,” he argued. Eli looked to Leila for support, but she quickly averted her eyes. Throwing up his hands, Eli said, “I don’t wear cufflinks. Ever. What do I know about choosing the right ones? I prefer buttons, the kind that already come attached to the shirt.”

  “Why did you not just ask me?” Guy laughed.

  “I really didn’t think it would be that hard to pick some out.” He cringed at the disapproving look Guy gave him. Choosing a pair of cufflinks was not brain surgery, but there were certain types that should and should not be worn on different occasions. Guy had attempted to educate his friends on several occasions, usually when they poked fun at him for wearing cufflinks, but none of them had ever taken to the accessory.

  “Fine, I’ll borrow yours.” Eli shook his head, which made everyone else laugh.

  “I’ll bring the sixpence and the cufflinks in the morning,” Guy replied, pleased he could help.

  Soon, the dinner began to wind down and everyone’s focus shifted to getting enough sleep before the big day. Guy felt much better getting into his car than he had getting out of it earlier that night. Thoughts of how Patricia was doing still lingered, but excitement for his friends’ wedding had taken over. He was buckling his seatbelt when his phone began ringing.

  “Bonsoir, Carmody,” Guy answered.

  “Bonsoir. How did the rehearsal go? I wanted to make sure you hadn’t broken out in hives being that close to commitment,” she teased.

  “It went very well. Tomorrow will go smoothly.” Guy paused when his phone buzzed again. Another Facebook message. He hesitated a moment before saying, “Would you and Michael come tomorrow? Lilly, too?” Guy knew Ana would strangle him for inviting guests last minute, but he was struggling too much on his own not to ask.

  Carmody did not answer right away. When she did, there was concern in her voice. “Guy, are you doing okay? I know I tease you a lot, but you haven’t been your usual self all week.”

  “I am fine.”

  “Then what’s wrong? Why don’t you want to go to the wed
ding alone? You’re usually fine going to things solo. Anything to do with Leila’s Facebook post?” she asked.

  Guy groaned. “You saw that already?”

  “I happened to be online. She’s a clever girl.”

  “Oiu, she is. That is not it, though. I do not mind their jokes.” Guy sighed. “Work has been difficult lately. I am not in the mood to deal with women or my friends jokes this weekend. I want to focus on Leila and Eli only.”

  “I don’t count as women?” Carmody asked.

  “You are not single. You know what I meant. You are my friend.”

  Carmody chuckled, showing she did know exactly what Guy had meant by the comment. “Sure, Guy, I’ll come. Lily has a birthday party to go to tomorrow, and Michael will need to take her, but I can fend off any wanton eyes or wandering hands.”

  “Michael will not mind?”

  Scoffing, Carmody said, “Michael knows how much I love weddings. He’ll reap the benefits of me being around sappy couples anxious to get to their honeymoon all day.” She was quiet for a moment before saying, “Besides, he’ll understand if you just need the support of a friend this weekend. It’s not just me who thinks of you as a brother, Guy. We’re here if you need us.”

  Guy was touched by her words. “Merci, Carmody.”

  “No problem. Vous êtes un bon homme, Guy. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Guy ended the call, thankful for Carmody’s words after such a long day. It was likely neither his past girlfriends nor Patricia would agree that he was a good man right now. Maybe they were right. Guy knew a cat was a trivial reason to end a relationship, but he felt no regret. Patricia’s opinion of him was different. He had agonized over his decision to recommend to the courts that she be admitted involuntarily, and he believed it was the right choice. He hoped she would agree someday.

  Chapter 5

  Le Mauvais Choix

  Guy knocked on the dressing room door, the promised sixpence in his hand. The door opened only a few inches. Ana peered out at him. Once she realized he was not Eli trying to peek at his bride, she opened the door and ushered him in. Guy had been behind the scenes at many weddings for family and friends, and never before had he walked into such calm.

  Leila was not running around looking frazzled and panicking. Surprisingly, even Ana was only mildly twitchy. Everyone else seemed just as relaxed as Leila, who was standing in a gorgeous gown peacefully chatting with an older gentleman. Guy simply stood and took in the scene for a moment. The dress she wore was affectionately known as the “Waterfall Dress” amongst friends who knew the story behind it.

  The dress had been designed by Leila, in secret, and Eli had stolen it and given it to Ana, who owned the fashion boutique where Leila worked. He had stolen it for one purpose, to see Leila wear it on their wedding day. Leila had frequently claimed to have no artistic talent, but as Guy saw her in the dress, he knew why Ana had all but forced her into becoming a designer. The sheer layers of the dress cascaded down her body in varying lengths from a fitted bodice, the gems decorating the hem of each layer, sparkling with every slight movement. The effect was breathtaking. Leila truly looked as though she were standing in the midst of a waterfall.

  Sabine had very much wanted to attend the wedding, not just to see the infamous dress, but because Leila and Eli were dear friends of hers as well. Guy’s sister was missing her chance to see Leila in the gown because of a work commitment she could not back out of. Leila noticed Guy observing them a few seconds later and turned to greet him with a wide smile.

  “Guy!” She hugged him tightly then turned him around to face the gentleman she had been talking to. “Guy, this is my father, Christopher Sparro. Dad, this is my good friend, Guy.”

  Her father reached out and took Guy’s offered hand. He had a firm handshake, which Guy appreciated. “Guy, that’s an unusual name,” her father said. “French?”

  “Oui. Parlez-vous français?”

  “Very little,” he responded. “I learned enough to get me through furlough days in Paris during my stint in the military.”

  “And here I thought Leila was just a quick study.”

  “She’s always had an ear for languages,” he said proudly.

  Guy laughed. “I suppose I should be more careful of what I say around her, yes?”

  Leila rolled her eyes at him, a smile still on her face. “Did you bring Eli’s cufflinks? His really are terrible.”

  “Oui, I will take them to him. I wanted to make sure you had your sixpence, first, for luck. Not that you need it ma chère amie. You look beautiful. A vision. Eli is a lucky man.”

  “Merci,” Leila said. She took the offered sixpence and slipped it into her shoe. After placing a kiss on his cheek, she said, “Now please go get my future husband presentable. I don’t want those cufflinks in our wedding photos.” She shook her head, making Guy wonder just how bad they were.

  After telling Leila’s father goodbye, Guy was escorted by Ana to a new hallway where Eli was secluded in his own dressing room. He entered to considerably more noise, though no more anxiety. Eli, Vance, and Leo sat around on sofas, laughing at whatever story Leo had been telling.

  “Guy, you made it! We were beginning to worry,” Eli said as he stood to clap his friend on the back.

  “I had to stop off and see your lovely bride first.”

  “Ah yes, the sixpence.” Eli grimaced. “I suppose that means you have the cufflinks.”

  “Oui, and I am on strict orders to make sure you wear them and not the horrors you bought.” Eli handed over the much talked about cufflinks. Guy’s lip curled up at the sight of them. “You chose gold cufflinks when your belt buckle is silver? And these have enamel! At a wedding, Eli? Honestly, just dreadful.”

  He muttered to himself that at least Eli had not chosen silk knots. That would have been inexcusable. Guy quickly tossed the offending pieces onto a nearby desk littered with combs and other odds and ends, then retrieved the ones he had brought from his pocket. Silver, to match the belt, rectangular for a modern flair, and a shaped face to avoid being too ostentatious.

  “These are proper cufflinks, no?” Guy asked.

  Eli nodded. “I assume so, since you are French and these are French cuffs and cufflinks.”

  Guy shook his head. Had he not learned anything from him over the years?

  Once Eli was properly attired, the group went back to laughing and talking until a knock at the door alerted them that it was time to move to a private room near the chapel where they would wait until the procession began. Eli was stopped multiple times by friends filtering into the hall where the ushers were guiding guests to their seats.

  The hall itself was captivating. It had an odd mix of industrial and old world. The beautiful hardwood floors and molded walls brought elegance to the floor to ceiling windows, white, steel roof, and exposed pipes. The soft lighting and exquisite wedding décor completed the enchanting atmosphere.

  Pulling his attention away from the hall, he turned his thoughts back to the approaching wedding. There was still about half an hour until the ceremony was scheduled to start. He knew the photographer wanted them together for pictures of the groomsmen with Eli before the ceremony, but Eli was still talking with a couple who had stopped him, so Guy took a moment to search the guests for Carmody. He spotted her after a few moments and snuck away.

  She saw him coming before he arrived at her side and stood. “Guy, you look even more yummy than usual.”

  Guy laughed. “I am not sure I believe you that Michael does not mind such comments.”

  “Eh, he’s fine. He told me to take a picture of us. Personally, I think he has a bit of a man-crush on you.”

  Shaking his head, Guy put his arm around Carmody’s shoulders. “Thank you for coming.”

  “No problem. This place is gorgeous! I’m in heaven right now.”

  Guy had to agree. He was nearly distracted again by the beauty of the hall, but something else captured his attention. The garden was truly splendid. Eve
n though it was too late in the year for an outside wedding, Guy thought the brick patio and decorative evergreen bushes lining the courtyard to be both beautiful and relaxing. He suspected the flora was changed according to the season and he appreciated such attention to detail.

  Even though Guy was more accustomed to weddings held in centuries old churches or enormous ballrooms, he quite liked this setting for a wedding. As he turned back to Carmody, he thought he saw someone else, someone who looked very much liked the woman he had run into earlier in the week, Charlotte. He paused, waiting for her to turn and look at him. When she finally did, he released the breath he had been unconsciously holding. It was not her.

  “Guy, you all right? Kinda spaced out there for a second.”

  “I am sorry,” Guy said. “I thought I saw someone I knew.”

  “Who? You really seemed intent.”

  Guy shrugged. “Just a woman I met this week. No one special.”

  Even though Carmody frowned at his response, she did not comment. She did, however, point back to where Eli was gesturing at him. “I think they’re ready for you. The photographer looks a little ticked off.”

  “Oui, merci. I will see you after the ceremony.”

  Carmody nodded and Guy hurried back to where he was supposed to be. After standing for pictures with Eli and the other groomsmen, he was pushed into line by Ana and directed to take the arm of Leila’s sister-in-law, Denise. He did so dutifully. The little flower girl, Leila’s niece, was tugging on her mother’s dress, asking if it was time to throw the flowers. Guy looked back at Leila to see her gently wiping away tears.

  “I wish Mom could have been here,” Leila said to her father. “She would have loved Eli. She would have loved all of this.”

  Her father pulled her into his arms and said something Guy could not hear. Whatever it was seemed to help, as Leila looked back up smiling and less tearful. A certain amount of guilt seized Guy as he thought of his own mother. There was no glimmer of hope for her that either of her two children would ever marry or bless her with grandchildren. He had a flight booked to visit them in a few weeks, but he knew she would be disappointed he was coming alone and not to stay.