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Shark Out of Water

Page 20

by DelSheree Gladden


  Charlotte looked as if she wanted to stand as well, meet Guy as close to eye to eye as she could, but her weakened body would not allow it. “I never asked you to do everything, Guy. Don’t blame me for the fact that you’ve tried to take over everything!” There were tears in her eyes, and as much as Guy wanted to soothe them, he was too frustrated by her words to do anything but snap at her.

  “I am not blaming you!” He threw up his hands. “I am just trying to be realistic, Charlotte!”

  “You think I’m not being realistic?”

  Guy laughed. “No! You are not. You try to keep working, but the stress is only harming you.”

  “I have to work, Guy! How else can I afford to stay here?”

  “Let me help you!” he shouted.

  Guy had never seen Charlotte so angry before. “I don’t need you to pay my rent or bills, but it’s more than that. I have to work to keep my insurance and you know it! I don’t have a trust fund to fall back on.”

  “No, but I do, and you are being stubborn by not letting me help you, Charlotte.”

  “Stubborn?” she snapped.

  Neither of them heard Warren’s approach, but they did hear him when he shouted, “Stop yelling at Papa Guy! It’s not his fault!”

  Guy was shocked by Warren’s sudden desire to defend him, but as he looked to Charlotte, he saw more than surprise. He saw hurt as well and he struggled to hide his reaction. “Warren,” she said shakily, “Guy is not your father.”

  “How come I don’t get to have a dad?” Warren demanded. “Guy can be my dad if I want him to! You can’t take him away. No one can take him away!”

  The squeak of the apartment door opening drew everyone’s attention. Carmody stood in the doorway with Lily on her hip looking unsure of whether to stay or go. Warren saw her and immediately bolted to his room. The slam of the door left everyone else in silence.

  “Who are you?” a red-faced Charlotte demanded.

  Carmody glanced over to Guy for guidance. He was not sure what his expression said exactly, but Carmody seemed to know precisely what was needed. Gently, she set Lily down and whispered something in her ear. She first ran over and hugged Guy’s leg, then tore off down the hall after Warren. After she disappeared, Carmody turned her attention back to Charlotte, approaching the sofa and taking a seat next to her.

  “I’m so sorry for barging in,” she apologized. “I’m Carmody, and I’m hoping Guy has at least mentioned me once or twice so this isn’t quite so awkward.”

  Charlotte’s bottom lip began trembling. “You’re Carmody?” When Carmody nodded, some of Charlotte’s hostile stance softened. “What’re you doing here?”

  “Guy called me when Warren threw a fit. He didn’t know what to do and he didn’t want to bother you. He’s seen Lily throw a tantrum… many times, but there’s a big difference between a three-year-old screaming about pudding and an almost six-year-old who is scared and worried about his family being pulled apart, right?”

  “Right,” Charlotte whispered tearfully.

  Carmody slid closer to Charlotte and slipped her arms around her frail body. “Guy wasn’t trying to step on your toes. He’s worried, probably more than you realize. And he’s exhausted, so try to forgive him for any of the stupid things he might have said before I got here. He barely has a filter as it is, being French and all, but he really starts babbling when he’s tired.” She smiled when Charlotte laughed a bit through the tears slipping down her cheeks. “Do you realize Guy has been going straight from work at night to here? Or that he hasn’t slept more than four or five hours a day in weeks?”

  Charlotte swiveled to look at Guy, whose eyes were pinned to the floor, too uncomfortable with Carmody’s words to face either of them. “Guy,” Charlotte said, “you told me you had people covering your shifts on Tuesdays and Wednesdays so you could help me here. You’ve been going to work at night instead of going home to sleep? Why?”

  Not able to answer, Carmody did it for him. “Because Guy hasn’t been able to find anyone to cover his shifts yet and he’s too good of a guy to just bail on them.” Carmody still held onto Charlotte, but she turned her attention to Guy for a moment. “Why don’t you let Charlotte and I talk about a few things on our own. There’s a very upset little boy in his room who I’m sure would really like to talk to you right now. Lily should have him sufficiently cheered up by now. She told me she was going to tell him jokes in French.”

  That finally drew a smile to Guy’s lips. If everything else failed to remedy the worst day in a little boy’s life, Lily was a sure cure. Before heading for the hall, though, he walked over to the sofa and kissed Charlotte’s forehead. She touched his face gently, still teary-eyed, but let him slip free when Guy stepped back. “S'il vous plaît ayez foi en moi,” he whispered. As he walked back toward Warren’s room, he heard Carmody translating, telling Charlotte that he was asking her to have faith in him a little longer.

  Chapter 24

  Je t'Aime Aussi

  “Knock, knock,” Guy said as he pushed the door to Warren’s bedroom open. “May I come in?”

  The sounds of giggling he had heard through the door died away, but only somewhat. Lily’s and Warren’s heads were peeking out from under his blankets. Lily was grinning at her favorite big person, but Warren seemed unsure. “Am I still in trouble?” he asked.

  “How about we postpone being in trouble long enough to talk,” Guy suggested. “No yelling this time, oui?”

  Warren frowned at him, his bottom lip trembling. “Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  Finally, Warren gestured for him to come in. Guy left the door halfway open, so Warren did not feel confined, and jostled the two playfully until there was enough space for him to sit on the bed. Lily immediately curled up on one side while Warren hesitantly did the same on the other side. Normally, Lily would have started babbling about something or other, but she seemed to sense the situation was more serious than usual and remained quiet.

  Guy struggled with how to begin. In the end, he settled on being direct. “Warren, did you tell everyone at school that your maman and I were married and that I am your papa?”

  Warren tried to sink into the bed as much as possible, but still answered the question. “I just told them I had a new dad. I told them you were my Papa Guy.”

  Even though Guy knew those two words had hurt Charlotte deeply, he could not help but smile. It was not that he wished to replace Warren’s real father—he knew Charlotte had tried very hard to make sure her son knew how much his father loved him—but Guy had grown to love Warren very much. He had spent so much time with him, caring for him and helping him, it was hard not to think of the boy as his. He was too concerned for Charlotte’s feelings to voice his thoughts, though.

  “Why did you tell everyone that?” Guy asked.

  Warren peeked up from where he was hiding beneath Guy’s arms. “Are you mad at me?”

  It was a difficult question to answer. Guy was not angry with him at all, but his words needed to be chosen carefully. “Warren, you should not tell people things that are not true, but…”

  “It’s kinda true, though, right?” Warren asked, sitting up now to face Guy. “I mean, the other kids who have dad’s, they do the stuff you do. They pick them up from school and go to work and help them with homework and take them to fun places and tuck them in at night and read them stories and play games with them. You do that stuff, too, and you’re here all the time, even though you didn’t bring all your stuff. You even sleep in Mom’s room sometimes.”

  Guy’s eyebrows rose at that last observation. When he stayed over, which was not as often as he would like due to working more night shifts, he often slept in Charlotte’s room. Partly, the arrangement was to watch over her, but he also wanted to be near her when he could. He wanted to be with both Charlotte and Warren as much as possible. Looking at his little friend, Guy said, “Oui, I do those things.”

  “Then why aren’t you my dad?”

  It
was another difficult question, but Guy did his best to answer. “Your real dad, Jackson, he is your papa because he and your maman made you…”

  “In Mom’s tummy.”

  “Uh, oui.” Guy left it at that and continued. “Sometimes people who are not related by blood become family when two people get married and the new parent adopts the child. Then legally, that person is their parent.”

  Warren scrunched his face. “What does legally mean?”

  Guy had to think for a minute about how to explain the concept. “You know how you have rules at school?” Warren nodded. “Well, grownups have rules, too.”

  “About being someone’s dad?”

  “Oui, among other things.”

  Warren’s expression turned thoughtful again, the kind of expression that said a busy little mind was working very hard to come up with a solution. Finally, he put his hands on Guy’s chest and leaned forward so they were staring directly at each other. “Can you marry my mom and dadopt me? Then you could be my dad in the rules.”

  “Uh,” Guy hesitated, “well, maybe someday, but right now your maman is too sick to worry about such things. She needs to get better first.”

  Even though he did not have a clear answer, Guy expected Warren to follow up his request with a more insistent plea, as he usually did with anything else. Instead, Warren’s face crumbled in despair. Guy was at once worried that he was upset Guy had not said he would marry his mother and adopt him right away, but when Warren’s tears began to fall in earnest, Guy realized it was something even more frightening.

  “My mom is really, really sick, isn’t she?” Warren begged. “She keeps saying she’s okay, but she never used to not go to work, and she sleeps all the time and I hear her throw up, too. And she’s not getting better even though she goes to the doctor all the time.” His little face peered up at Guy, desperate for answers.

  Guy had little experience with children outside of Lily and Warren, but he knew this little boy was scared and hurting. He saw what was happening to his maman, but he did not have the knowledge to understand it. Guy knew Charlotte might be angry with him afterward, but he felt it was worth the risk. It was only hurting Warren to be kept in the dark.

  “Oui, mon petit homme. Your maman is very ill. The doctors are trying to help her, but it is very hard and it takes a long time.”

  “Why she sick?” Lily asked, speaking for the first time. Her big blue eyes were filled with compassion, even though she understood less than her new friend.

  Guy could only shake his head. “We do not know. Sometimes people just get sick.”

  Warren laid down next to Guy, his arm wrapped around his chest. “What kind of sick is she? I got the flu in winter time and it made me throw up a lot.”

  “It is not the flu,” Guy said sadly. “It is called cancer. It means her blood got sick and has tiny, tiny cells that are not working right, and they keep making more bad cells. The medicine the doctors give your maman kills the bad cells, but it makes her very sick.”

  For a long time, Warren was quiet. His hand twisted around Guy’s shirt, tightening and loosing as he tried to digest everything, until his fingers closed into a fist and stayed there. His little head pushed into Guy’s chest as his body began trembling. Lily was not offended when Guy nudged her aside so he could sit up and pull Warren into his lap. The tear-streaked little boy looked up at Guy and asked, “Is my mom going to die like my dad did?”

  Guy’s first response was to tell him everything would be okay, but if he did and it was not true, it would break the boy’s heart and his trust in Guy. Lying to Warren had already hurt him enough. “Warren, the doctors are trying very hard to help your maman get better, but there is a small chance it will not work. I have faith she is going to be okay, though, and you should as well.”

  “But what if she isn’t? What will happen to me if I don’t have a mom anymore?” More tears started falling in earnest.

  “Sh, sh,” Guy pleaded, “it will be okay. You have a grand-mère et grand-père who will take care of you, yes?”

  “I…don’t…want…to live…with them,” Warren wailed. He fell against Guy’s chest and sobbed.

  Startled by his reaction, Guy could only hold onto him tightly and rock him back and forth. “Warren, you love your grand-mère et grand-père. I know your maman is going to get better and she will always take care of you, but why are you so upset about having to be with your grandparents?”

  “Because…then I…couldn’t be with…you!” Warren cried. “I love you Papa Guy!”

  Guy’s arms tightened around Warren so much he feared he was hurting him, but he could not let go. “Je t'aime aussi, Warren. I love you very much.”

  Lily crawled up on Guy’s lap and wrapped her little arms around both of them, patting Warren’s head as she said, “It’s okay,” over and over again. Guy was having a difficult time keeping his own eyes dry as well. He knew Myles was giving Charlotte the best care, but he worried about her even still. Her chances of going into remission were very good, but Guy knew things could change at any time. It broke his heart to think of losing her and Warren. They had become so much a part of his life in such a short time that he could not imagine it being any different.

  Guy lifted his head, trying to wipe his face of tears, but paused when he caught sight of Charlotte and Carmody standing in the doorway, both crying. Guy was not ashamed of his tears, and they did not seem to be either, but Guy was surprised to see Charlotte leaning on Carmody as if they had become fast friends. He did not need to ask how long they had been standing there. Their expressions said they had heard enough.

  Chapter 25

  Papa

  When Warren calmed down, Carmody took charge once again. She stepped into the room and took both of the children’s hands. “Come on, you two. How about we watch some cartoons until dinner?”

  Warren stared up at her warily. “Who’s going to make dinner?” He was careful to avoid looking at Guy.

  Trying not to chuckle, Carmody said, “My husband, Michael, is going to come make us all an early dinner. He’s a very good cook, and he never burns anything.”

  She pulled a relieved Warren out of the room with Lily following behind chanting, “Daddy’s coming! Daddy’s coming!” over and over again. Guy was still sitting on the little twin bed when Charlotte looked at him. He stood, knowing they needed to talk, and led her down the hall to her bedroom. She seemed almost surprised when he sat down on her bed and gestured for her to join him. It did not stop her from sitting down and looking at him pensively. Guy immediately pulled her close.

  “Guy, I’m sorry for the way I reacted earlier.”

  “Ma chérie, you do not need to apologize. I should not have assumed…”

  Charlotte, shook her head, stopping him from continuing. “No, Guy. You were right before. You’ve been more involved in Warren’s life since I started chemo than I have. There’s no reason you shouldn’t have been able to handle him getting in trouble today. I shouldn’t have yelled at you for trying to help.”

  Although he appreciated her apology, Guy did not answer right away. It took him several long minutes to untangle his thoughts. “Charlotte, I had no idea Warren told everyone those things about us. I love him very much, but it has never been my intention to replace his papa. He has never called me Papa Guy before, and even if he had, I would not have allowed him to call me that without your permission.”

  A look of guilt swept onto Charlotte’s tired face. “I feel the worst about that.” Ducking her head, Charlotte pressed her hands to her face.

  “Ma chérie, I am so sorry. I will speak to Warren and make sure he knows it is not appropriate to call me that.” Guy meant the words, even though it stung to speak them. “He did not mean to hurt you, and I do not wish to hurt you, either.”

  “No,” Charlotte said quickly, “that’s not what I meant.”

  Confused, Guy said, “You are upset because he called me his papa, yes?”

  “No…I mean, yes, i
t was a shock, and I was upset at first, because I guess I’ve been trying to hold onto Jackson for so long, I didn’t even consider what Warren must be thinking and going through right now with you being such a big part of his life lately, but him calling you his dad isn’t what I feel the worst about. It was the look on your face when I got mad at Warren for saying it.” Her chin quivered as her hands tightened around each other.

  Guy had not realized his emotions had been so easily seen in that moment. He had been surprised, as well, when Warren defended him so adamantly, but Charlotte’s reaction had indeed hurt. He knew it should not. Warren was not his child. Before meeting the boy, he had not even wanted children. Even as much as he loved Lily, she had not influenced him as much as Warren had. The boy needed him, and if Guy was honest, he needed Warren just as much.

  Charlotte’s voice was soft when she spoke again. “Guy, I’m sorry for getting mad at Warren when he called you his dad. I didn’t mean to hurt you. He loves you so much, and I never meant to keep Jackson alive in his heart to the point of excluding anyone else. I guess I just wasn’t prepared for my little boy to be the one to tell me it was time to move on.” She ventured looking up at Guy, her eyes filled with emotion. “If you’re okay with Warren calling you Papa Guy… so am I.”

  Staring down at her with a mixture of confusion and relief, Guy was not sure how to respond. Instead of answering right away, he changed topics. “What did Carmody say to you out there? You have been so against any of my friends helping you in any way, yet now you are okay with Michael coming and cooking dinner and Carmody watching Warren right now. I have tried for weeks, yet she spends a few minutes and has convinced you.”

  A chuckle shook Charlotte’s worn body. “Pretty fickle, huh? Maybe it’s the drugs I’m on.”

  Guy smiled at her joke, but was honestly curious. “What did she say?”

 

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