Judith wanted to say something in return, about him, about how he felt, but she couldn’t get her voice to work. All she could do was look at him as he spread her legs, settling himself between her thighs.
She shuddered as his entirely bare body pressed against the length of hers. She still had her shirt on, and should have felt less exposed but somehow, with her skirt hiked up around her waist and her bra half off, she felt even more naked than he was. Especially when he looked at her. His smile had vanished, the handsome lines of his face drawn tight. He stared down at her as if he wanted to devour her.
The ache inside her wound tighter and tighter. The intensity began to scare her. As if she was on an out-of-control roller coaster, going so fast, careening around corners and corkscrewing through spirals. Going so fast she couldn’t get off.
“Caleb,” she said, wanting to relieve the intensity somehow. Slow the roller coaster down. But she didn’t get the chance because his head lowered, his mouth moved to her throat, and the words tangled themselves up inside her head. She gripped his shoulders, feeling the shift of powerful muscles beneath her palms as his mouth moved lower.
This was so familiar. He was so familiar. There was nothing to be scared of, right? She remembered lying beneath him just like this while he kissed her. Stroked her. Made her feel things she’d never felt before. And it had been so good. So right.
The panic began to evaporate, and a heavy, heated sensuality crept through her. There was no need to worry, no need to feel afraid. Not when he was here.
She let her hands slide down the curve of his back, reveling in the satin of his skin. God, he felt just like she remembered.
His mouth had found her nipple again, and she gave a little gasp as he sucked gently on it, arching up into him, wanting more. She let her legs fall open even wider, tilting her pelvis so her hips pressed against his, shuddering with reaction as the hard length of his erection nudged the soft, wet folds of her sex. He was so hot, his weight on her making her want to push against him. Move. Relieve the building ache.
His teeth closed on her nipple, not hard enough for pain but enough to send a bolt of electric pleasure straight down her spine. She dug her nails into the muscles of his back, shaking. “Oh…Cal,” she panted. “Please…”
“Please what?” His voice was impossibly deep and rough and sexy, his breath against her skin.
Heat swept through her. “You know…”
He lifted his head, looking down at her, his mouth curving in that wicked way. “Yeah, I know. I want to hear you say it.”
Bloody hell. This hadn’t happened last time. She swallowed. “T-t-touch me.”
His smile became even more wicked, dark eyes full of heat and desire. “And where do you want me to touch you?”
Oh, he was bad. So bad. He made her want to be bad, too. She took his hand, pushed it down between her thighs. “Here,” she said thickly.
“Here?” His fingers brushed through her curls, so near and yet so far. Tantalizing her.
She squirmed, trying to encourage his touch where she so desperately needed it. “Yes…right there…”
“Where, Jude?” His thumb circled, teasing. “Say it for me.”
God. She shut her eyes. “Touch my c-clit.”
His breath was hot on her neck. “Like this?” The teasing thumb brushed the achingly sensitive flesh between her thighs.
She gasped, sparks bursting behind her eyes. “Yes…More…”
“More?” His fingers shifted down, stroking the slick folds of her sex. “You’re going to have to tell me what more you want.”
Oh, she was going to kill him for making her do this. That was if she didn’t die of embarrassment first. “Put your fingers inside me.”
Caleb gave a soft growl of approval that only stoked the flames higher. “Yeah, darling. I like your dirty talk.” His fingers moved, one slowly easing into her.
She groaned, sinking her nails harder into his back, her hips lifting helplessly against his hand. The ache had deepened, become insistent. “Yes…oh…God…there. More, Cal. Please…”
“This kind of more?” He slid another finger into her and she took a ragged, shaken breath, and turned her hot face into his neck, inhaling the scent of him as the pleasure blinded her.
“Oh, Cal…” The movement of his hand was slow, tantalizing. God. If he kept this up she was going to go insane.
“What now, darling?” His voice was a low, sensual rumble. “Where would you like me now?”
This time need overcame her embarrassment. “Caleb Steele,” she panted against his skin, “if you’re not inside me by the time I count to two, I’ll wring your freaking neck.”
His laugh sounded like liquid sin. “Well, far be it from me to argue with a lady.”
He shifted, reached for his clothing on the floor, and extracted a condom out of his wallet. Deftly, he rolled it onto himself then caught her hand, lacing his fingers through hers, bringing it up and down onto the black velvet above her head. He moved over her and she shivered with desperate excitement.
His other hand slid beneath her hips, lifting her. Then he pushed into her in one deep, hard thrust.
She gasped, stiffening at the unfamiliar feeling, her body struggling to accommodate him. Oh God, she hadn’t remembered him being quite that big.
He frowned, the expression in his eyes was sharp with concern. “You okay?”
“Yes,” she said shakily. “Just…it’s been a while.”
His fingers tightened on hers and he began to move slowly. Her body adjusted, the discomfort disappearing, pleasure returning. Expanding. Such a wonderful, glorious feeling. So unbelievably good. So incredibly right. So perfect.
Her heart began to fill with emotion, tightening, pressing against the walls of her chest. Her throat hurt. She wanted to look away from him, separate herself, take control of it somehow. But he was inside her, around her, and the pleasure had her by the throat and wouldn’t let go.
Caleb bent his head, his breathing harsh. He caught her free hand, held it up above her head with the other, pinning them there. She’d never felt so helpless, so vulnerable in all her life. And it scared her. She wanted to trust him so badly but always there was the doubt. She’d been let down too many times by too many people.
There was nothing she could do to protect herself from the intensity of the feeling that swept through her.
All she could do was look up into his night-dark eyes as the pleasure began to pull her under, and let herself drown.
…
He couldn’t drag his gaze away. Her eyes were wide, her lovely face flushed, and she was staring up at him the way she had that night they’d spent together. As if he was the most amazing thing she’d ever seen in her life.
He’d never felt so close to another human being before that night and had never felt it since. Until now.
“Oh…Jude…” The words came out choked and desperate, the pleasure winding tighter as he moved inside her, harder, faster, chasing the release they both needed.
She arched up against him, her fingers curling around his, crying out as her eyes shut, her body convulsing. And at last he let himself go, ecstasy swamping him, carrying him away for a few moments of bliss so intense he was blind to anything else.
His heartbeat thundered in his ears, his breathing loud in the silence. He could still hear the echo of her cry in the air around them, feel the tight clasp of her body around him.
He opened his eyes. She’d turned her head away, her black hair a much softer, silkier version of the velvet of the chaise they were lying on.
“Jude.” He put a finger under her chin to turn her head. “Jude, darling. Are you okay?”
She turned and for what felt like a whole minute she stared back at him, blue eyes dark and mysterious as sapphires. Then black lashes veiled her gaze.
“Of course,” she said in a thick voice. “Could you please move? You’re extremely heavy.”
No, that wasn’t right. That odd, d
isconnected note in her voice. And the way she’d turned her head again, like an anemone withdrawing into itself. Not right at all. Not after she’d just cried out in his arms, abandoned and free and so utterly beautiful she just about stopped his heart.
“What’s the matter?” He couldn’t stop the edge of demand creeping into his tone. “Did I hurt you?”
“Caleb, move.” She shoved at him, her body sliding out from under his as he shifted. And he had the feeling that he was losing something precious, that it was slipping away from him.
He reached for her, not wanting her to go just yet, sliding an arm around her waist and holding her against him.
“Damn you, no,” he murmured against her hair. “At least have the decency to tell me whether I hurt you or not.”
Her body had gone rigid against him. “No,” she said tightly. “No, you didn’t. It’s just…It’s just been a while since I… Since I had sex with anyone.”
“What do you mean a while?”
“Exactly that. A while.”
It wasn’t any of his business and yet he found himself desperate to know. “How long, Jude?”
There was a long silence. Then she said, “A couple of years.”
“That’s a long time.” Eons from his perspective.
“Yes. I suppose it is.”
“Why, though?”
Judith pulled away and this time he didn’t stop her as she began putting her clothing to rights with small, precise movements. “That’s not really any of your business.”
No, it wasn’t and he had no right to ask her about it. And yet a primal part of him, a very male part, wanted to know. “Maybe not. But if anyone hurt—”
“Nobody hurt me. It was my choice. I told you I didn’t do casual, remember? Anyway, it’s no big deal.”
She’d gone all distant on him so clearly something was a big deal. Something she didn’t want to tell him about.
Awkwardly he turned away, dealing with the condom and chucking it into a nearby trash bin before he grabbed his trousers and hauled them on. “No big deal? So why won’t you tell me what the problem is?”
She lifted her chin, her hands on her hips. “There is no problem. Sex has just never been all that important to me.”
It felt like a slap in the face. “Never?”
A wash of color surged through her pale skin. “I only meant that it’s never been that big of a deal.”
Yet he couldn’t leave it alone. “So sex with me wasn’t ever that big of a deal?”
She smoothed her hair, pushing the inky strands behind her ears. “No, don’t be silly. You were earth-shattering, naturally.” There was amusement in her voice but it sounded a little forced. She moved over to the table where he’d left his jacket, shirt and tie, and began to gather them up.
“Jude.”
“What?” She straightened, throwing his clothes over her arm then coming back over to where he stood. “Typical man. It’s all about you, huh?”
Frustration burned in his chest. She’d done this before in the locker rooms, too. Pretended she was fine, that everything was A-okay. His instinct now was to push, make her tell him what was wrong, but the problem was he suspected he already knew—somehow, in some way he’d hurt her.
He took his shirt from her and put it on, not bothering with the buttons. Shrugged on his jacket. Balled up his tie and stuck it in the pocket of his trousers. Then he said, “This isn’t all there is, Jude. You know that, right? I’m going to be around for you.”
Her dark brows pulled together. “Yes, I know. But…” She hesitated.
“You still don’t trust me, do you?”
“I want to. Believe me, I do. It’s just…” A breath escaped her. “There’s been a lot of people who’ve let me down, Cal. Mum. Joseph.” Another hesitation. “You.”
A hollow feeling settled in his gut. “I said I was going to make it up to you and I will.”
“I know. But sex won’t make all those other issues go away.”
Dammit. Why couldn’t it be that simple? Then again, it wasn’t as if she hadn’t told him. This was the first step. “What more can I do then? How can I make it right?”
She crossed her arms, a self-protective gesture that made him want to hold her. “Just…be there for me, Caleb. When I need you. And be yourself. Not that other guy.”
He didn’t need to ask which other guy she meant. He knew already. “Okay,” he said. “Okay, I’ll try.”
An awkward silence fell.
She gave him a strained smile. “Do you mind if we don’t do this again for a while? I need…some time.”
Yeah, he minded. He wanted her again. In his arms, in his bed. For as long as he could. But shit, if she needed time he’d give her as much as she wanted. “Of course I don’t mind. Well, I guess I should go in that case. Things to do. People to see.”
Her arms dropped and she clasped her hands together. “Okay, sure.” Her knuckles were white. “Well, bye, Caleb.”
If he kept up this smile any longer his whole bloody face was going to crack. “Bye, Jude.”
He wanted to kiss her or hold her, just once more, but she was doing a fine impression of a plank of wood, so he put his hands in his pockets instead and turned away toward the door.
Winning Judith Ashton clearly wasn’t going to be easy. But hell, she would be worth it.
Good things always were.
…
Judith checked the time on her phone. Caleb still had five minutes before he was officially late. Plenty of time for him to arrive.
She tried to ignore the weird mixture of excitement, anticipation, and fear that sat in her gut and looked around the restaurant instead. Down on Auckland’s waterfront, it was a popular spot with its views of the harbor and the busy port. It was also a regular celebrity hangout, the lunchtime crowds already dotted with a few famous faces.
It was very much Caleb’s kind of place. A place to be seen. Very Abs of Steele.
She shifted in her seat, uncomfortable with the thought. She and Caleb were supposed to be meeting to discuss scheduling the photo shoots, and when he’d suggested that they meet for lunch, she’d gone along with it.
More than gone along. You were excited.
Okay, yeah, she had been excited. And nervous. And afraid.
She hadn’t seen him since he’d left her studio a couple of days ago and at first she’d been good with that. She’d needed some space away from his distracting presence, some time to deal with what had happened between them. Still, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him. Or wanting him.
And then the flowers had arrived. Not the usual bouquet of roses but a slender crystal vase with a single magnolia bloom in it. The note with it had said:
Take all the time you need. I’m still here.
That had cracked her heart a little. Both because he’d remembered she’d always loved magnolias and because he’d listened to her need for some space. And also because it seemed to indicate that what they’d shared in her studio meant something to him.
A commotion near the door brought her head up from her contemplation of the view out the window. And then there he was, striding through the restaurant, all dark, sexy charisma and lean, athletic grace. Heads turned, as he threaded his way through the tables toward her. He didn’t look anywhere but at her.
A burst of excitement coursed through her and she realized she was clutching her napkin in a death grip.
For God’s sake, chill out.
But she couldn’t. Not when his dark eyes roved hungrily over her like a man about to lose his sight.
“I hope I’m not late,” he said as he sat down. “I had a meeting with the club but I bailed early so I could get here on time.”
“No, you’re not late.” God, she sounded as breathless as a teenage girl. How embarrassing. “In fact, you’re early.”
He grinned and her stupid heart did a neat little back flip. “I’m off to a good start then. You liked the flowers, huh?”
And now she was blushing like a fool. Wonderful. “Yes. They were beautiful.”
“Not quite as beautiful as you.”
“Okay, enough already.”
He laughed. “I know, I know. Keep it professional right? Did you get my email about the photo shoots?”
Professional, yes. That’s what this meeting was about. Still, she couldn’t help feeling a slight prick of disappointment that he could move so smoothly into it while she was sitting there feeling like a million ants were moving under her skin.
He was giving her time. Giving her space. Which she’d asked for. And that would be fine, if only her stupid libido wouldn’t keep leaping ahead of her emotions.
“Yes.” She picked up her phone and began scrolling through it to find the file he’d sent her with the schedule on it. “It looks great.”
“And you’re okay with going to each person’s location rather than doing it all in the studio?”
Slowly she put her phone down. This was the one thing she was still having trouble letting go. But then when Caleb had made her look at that shot she’d taken of him with the kid—really looked at it—she’d known he was right. Studio shots just didn’t have the same energy. Breaking out of the safety of her studio would be tough, but she’d do it. The success of the calendar depended on how good those shots were and she wouldn’t settle for anything less than great. “I think so.”
His grin changed, became a smile. “They’ll be great, Jude. Don’t doubt yourself. Because I don’t.”
Warmth uncurled inside her. Doubting anything was difficult when he smiled at her like that. “Okay,” she said, unable to stop herself from smiling in return. “I won’t.”
Maybe this wasn’t so bad. Maybe she could start to trust.
He was like this before, remember? Sweet and caring. And then he left you. Just like Mum.
Jude ignored the snide voice in her head. Ignored the small curl of doubt that dug a hole inside her heart and nestled right in.
She’d promised him another chance so that’s what he’d get.
…
God, he’d never wanted a woman more. Judith sat across from him, looking so beautiful in a tunic thing the color of lapis lazuli. She was laughing at some irreverent comment he’d made about one of the celebrities sitting not far from them, her posture completely relaxed. Just like old times.
Talking Dirty With the Player Page 11
