Except he wasn’t relaxed. He was impatient, aching to hold her, take her away, and make love to her. He’d never had to take it slow with a woman before, never wanted to. And if he screwed this up, he’d lose her. He knew that as surely as he knew his stupid Abs of Steele persona wasn’t worth risking Judith over.
“So why choose this place?” she asked him, elbow on the table, her chin propped in her hand. “It’s kind of like celebrity heaven around here.”
It sounded like a casual enough question although he knew it wasn’t. “You think that’s why I chose it?”
“Maybe.”
“Well, I didn’t.” He met her gaze. “I chose it because I thought you might enjoy the view of the harbor. And also because they do a mean chocolate cheesecake.”
She opened her mouth. Shut it. Then one corner turned up in a smile she was clearly trying to stop from happening. “Oh. Okay then.” There was a pause. “I do like cheesecake.”
He tried not to be smug. Failed. “I know you do.”
A little sigh escaped her. “You’re not going to make this easy, are you?”
“What? This whole ‘I need time thing?’ No.”
“So what happened to ‘take all the time you need’?”
“You can take all the time you need. I’m just offering a few incentives.”
Judith laughed. “You’re incorrigible.”
“Naturally. I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t.”
Something flashed through the windows, distracting him. Across the street a man stood, a camera in his hands, the lens pointed straight to where he and Judith were sitting.
Shit. The press.
Almost on cue he sensed a presence at his elbow. He turned his head to find a guy standing right next to him. Who wasn’t a waiter.
The man smiled. “So Caleb, can you tell me who the lady is? A new friend of yours, perhaps?”
Caleb scowled. “I can’t do anything without you guys butting in, can I?”
“Hey, no drama. I’m Steve from the Herald. All I want to know is what’s going on with your lady here.”
“She’s just a friend, okay? Now piss off.”
Steve, unfazed by his rudeness, flicked his gaze to Judith. “Miss? Care to add anything?”
The smile had gone from her face. “I’m sorry, I don’t—”
“It’s a simple question. You’re more than friends, aren’t you? You’re Caleb Steele’s new playmate.” The reporter behind Caleb was starting to move around the table toward her.
A blue spark flashed in Judith’s eyes. “Playmate? What the hell are you talking about?”
Crap. This had gone far enough. Caleb shoved back his chair. Then he stepped between Judith and the dickhead who called himself a reporter. “Get lost, Steve. There are plenty of other people around here to bug.”
Faced with six foot five of muscular rugby player, Steve from the Herald wisely decided to back off, muttering half-hearted apologies as he did so.
But the damage was done. As Caleb turned back to Judith, he found her on her feet and gathering up her things.
A large concrete block settled itself in his gut. “Where are you going?” He tried to not make it sound like a demand.
“Back to work.”
“Why? Because of some stupid reporter?”
She didn’t look at him. “No. I need to get back anyway.”
“Jude.” He gripped her upper arm, making her turn to face him. “What is it?”
There was anger in her eyes, a flush to her cheeks. “He’s always going to be there, isn’t he? Abs of freaking Steele.”
He’d never wanted to kill anyone before but right at that moment he would have quite happily strangled that reporter with his bare hands. “I’m doing my best here, Jude.”
She looked away from him. “I know. But it’s hard when I get slapped in the face with ‘Caleb Steele, playboy’ every time I’m seen out in public with you.”
Frustration burned like battery acid. “I’m not sure what you want me to say. The past is the past. I can’t change it.”
For a long moment she was silent. Then she said, “I don’t know, either, Caleb. I think this trust thing is going to take me longer than I thought. Can you let me go? I really need to get back to work.”
The concrete block turned into a whole building, collapsing on top of his chest. “We should talk about this.”
“Not right now.” The muscles in her arm flexed, trying to pull away. “Please.”
He had no choice but to let her go. And as he did it felt like all the ground he’d gained was crumbling under his feet. “This isn’t the end,” he said quietly. “I’m not giving up.”
She shook her head. “Why? Because we had good sex?”
“It’s not just about that and you know it. I want you, Jude. And if you think I’m going to let some bastard reporter get in the way you’ve got another thing coming.”
An expression he didn’t understand crossed her face. “But it’s not just about the reporter, either. It’s about me trusting you again. And right now, I’m not sure I can.” She paused. “I’m sorry.”
He watched her as she left, trying like hell not to let it get to him.
He’d been on a losing side before and still won. It was going to be no different now.
…
Joseph returned from the honeymoon a couple of days after the lunch with Judith and Caleb thought he’d better at least say hello and welcome home to the guy. Avoiding his friend for a while would have suited him down to the ground—at least until he’d figured out what he was going to do about Judith. But that wasn’t an option. No, he was just going to have to go and say hello and pretend he hadn’t done the dirty with Jude behind his back.
Which made it kind of a mess.
When Caleb did finally drop into Joseph’s office, Joe was looking more relaxed and happy than Caleb had ever seen him. For a start he wasn’t pacing up and down or running on his treadmill. He was lounging at his desk and seemed quite comfortable there. In one hand he held what looked suspiciously like a rosary, rolling the beads of it around in his fingers.
Pushing aside all thoughts of Judith, Caleb grinned at his friend as he parked himself on the edge of Joe’s desk. “Bloody hell, she converted you.”
The other man laughed. “They’re worry beads. Plus there’s a little bit of Gothic street cred going on there.”
Caleb arched an eyebrow “She told you that, right?”
“Yup.” Joseph didn’t even have the grace to look embarrassed. “Hey, she listens to gothic metal. She should know.”
“You’re so down with the kids. Next you’ll be growing your hair over one eye and wearing eye liner.”
Joseph shrugged. “I have no problem with that if it keeps my woman happy.”
“Mate, that’s sickening.”
His friend only grinned. “You should try it sometime.”
“What? Marriage?”
“Yeah. Why not?”
“Christ no. What would all my groupies say?”
Joseph laughed.
Then the door to his office opened and Judith came in. And a whole ocean of awkward flooded through the room like a tsunami.
What the hell was she doing here? She wasn’t due to be shooting Joseph’s picture until the week after.
She’d stopped dead in the doorway, camera bag slung over one shoulder, eyes wide as they met his. She wore a pair of black tights, tough-looking boots, and some kind of wrap-around silver dress type of arrangement. Probably that fashion thing again. Whatever it was, she looked cool, sophisticated, and totally self-possessed. Just as she normally did.
Except when he looked at her, all he could see was how she’d looked on the chaise lounge in her studio. Flushed and panting beneath him. Her thighs wrapped around his hips. Her back arching as she’d climaxed in his arms.
His whole body threw itself into the memory of making love to Judith Ashton with wild abandon, leaving him breathless and hard and bitterly conscious th
at he did not want to be either right now. Not with his best friend sitting mere inches away from him.
Joseph, oblivious to the sudden tension that rocketed through the room, got up from his desk.
“Hey, Jude. Sorry about the short notice. I forgot about the PR meeting I’ve got next week. You don’t mind, do you?”
Her gaze flicked to Caleb and then away again. A dull flush stained her cheeks. “Oh, no, it’s fine. I…I didn’t realize you had company.”
Joseph waved a hand. “Him? Cal isn’t company. He can give me someone to talk to while you do your photo thing.”
Shit. So Joseph had changed the time. Just Caleb’s luck he’d have to be here at the same exact moment. For a second he debated the merits of pretending he had an important meeting, which had to be better than sitting around awkwardly while he and Judith acted like nothing was wrong for Joseph’s benefit.
But then Joe said, “Do you mind sticking around, Cal? I need a distraction.”
The excuse he’d been preparing died stillborn. Yeah, he knew. Man, he couldn’t skive off. What kind of bloody coward did that make him?
Caleb folded his arms and gave his friend a grin, a shiny, happy grin to cover the curses resounding in his head. “Sure. No problem.”
“Great. So, Jude, where do you want me?”
A couple of minutes passed as Judith and Joe talked about where to take the picture and what Joe should be doing. Caleb took out his phone and began playing a game on it to stop himself from watching Judith, but Joe asked him for his opinion on something and he had to put it away.
“I dunno, mate,” Caleb said, trying to sound patient. “It’s your picture.”
“Yeah, but it’s your calendar.”
Judith had her camera in her hands, checking the settings. “Joseph, can you just do what I told you to do for once in your life, please?” She didn’t look at either of them.
Actually, apart from that one moment when she’d stepped into the room, she hadn’t looked at him at all. Avoiding him, clearly.
Yeah, okay, so it was awkward. Still, she didn’t need to treat him like a bloody leper.
“Jude’s idea about the desk was good,” he said clearly. “Go with that.”
She didn’t look up from her camera but the fingers fiddling with the controls stilled.
Suddenly he wanted quite badly for her to look at him. He hadn’t made contact since their interrupted lunch, wanting to regroup and figure out his next move. He’d half hoped she would be the one to make contact yet she hadn’t. And that pissed him off.
Just like it pissed him off now that she kept her attention on that goddamned camera of hers instead.
“Fine.” Joseph turned and crossed over to his desk, pulled out his chair, and flopped down onto it. “How’s this?”
Judith lifted her head, her focus on her brother. As if Caleb didn’t exist. “Yes, that looks good. Feet on the desk, maybe?”
Joseph grinned. “Of course feet on the desk.”
Caleb shifted, irritated. Perhaps now she’d look at him, especially since he was sitting on the desk and probably in the shot. He stared at her and she looked down again at the screen on her camera, moving here and there, trying to get the best angle.
Okay, so she didn’t trust him but did that mean she had to ignore him? Not look at him? Not even speak to him?
With that thought, his gaze dropped to her mouth and, oh man, had that ever been a bad idea.
She had a full lower lip, and he remembered just what it had felt like on his. Just how it had tasted. How her breath had caught as he’d nipped it with his teeth…
His groin ached, his jeans feeling a whole lot tighter than they had a second ago.
Damn her.
“Is that a rosary?” Judith asked, not taking her eyes from her camera.
“Worry beads. Chris bought them for me. Do you like them?”
“Not for this shot. The red ball you used to have would be clearer.”
With a certain amount of deliberation, Caleb shifted on the desk, accidentally-on-purpose putting his knee in the shot.
Judith said nothing.
Joseph had extracted the ball and was now throwing it up in the air and catching it. “How’s this?”
“Good. How about you talk on the phone so you can at least look like you’re doing some work?”
Joseph rolled his eyes. “Did you get this pocket Hitler routine, too?” he said to Caleb.
“Why no, I did not.” Caleb kept his gaze firmly on her. She would look at him. She would. “Jude was perfectly sweet to me the whole time.”
She didn’t look at him. “Could you move your knee, please?”
“No. My knee is happy where it is.”
Finally she deigned to look up, blue eyes glowing with irritation as they met his. “It’s in my shot.”
Heat shot through him, a surge of adrenaline making his breath catch. He held her gaze and dared her to turn away from him. To ignore him.
Joseph cleared his throat. “Uh, guys? Is there a problem?”
“No,” Caleb said, keeping his attention on Judith. “No problem at all. Is there, babycakes?”
“Your knee,” Judith said succinctly. “Is in my shot. Move it.”
He kept it right where it was. “Say please.”
“Please? Are you kidding me?”
“Hey, you two,” Joseph cut in, his voice sharp. “What’s going on?”
Judith finally glanced away, her jaw tight. But not before Caleb caught a glint of something in them. Something that glittered like diamonds.
Tears?
Cold shock went through him. Judith wasn’t just angry. She was hurt.
Christ, all he seemed to be able to do was hurt her.
“Nothing’s going on,” Caleb said curtly. He slid off the desk. “It’s okay. I should go.” Because obviously staying here was doing neither of them any good.
Joseph was looking back and forth between them, blue eyes sharpening as his focus narrowed in on them. “Have you two been arguing again?”
“Yeah, and it’s my fault,” Caleb said before Judith could open her mouth. “I’m sorry, Jude.” He didn’t bother to elaborate, just hoped she’d understand. Then, without waiting for an answer, he turned, lifted a hand to his friend. He had a meeting with Mike scheduled anyway. “I gotta go. Catch you ’round, bro.”
Chapter Eight
“Something you need to tell me?”
“No.” Judith turned away, blinked hard to get rid of the moisture in her eyes, and busied herself with her camera so he wouldn’t notice her shaking hands. “You want to pose a little more for me?”
Crying? Why the hell was she crying? God, what was wrong with her?
Okay, so she hadn’t expected to see Caleb lounging on her brother’s desk. Or wanted her heart to race and her mouth to go dry as soon as she’d locked eyes with him. Certainly not with Joseph in the room. And perhaps ignoring him, since she hadn’t known what else to do, hadn’t been the best move. Why would that make her cry, though?
Because he was angry. And that hurt.
She swallowed, flicking unseeing through the pictures on her camera.
So he was angry. What did he expect? She could hardly do anything with Joseph in the room. And since their lunch, where that reporter had set off every single one of her doubts, she’d been trying to figure out whether she and Caleb could even be together anyway.
Because it seemed impossible. Trust was too hard when there were so many reminders of all the things he’d left her for.
“Jude?”
She blinked, realizing she’d just been standing there staring at her camera like a fool. “What?”
Joseph tossed the ball up into the air again, a meditative look on his face. “You and Cal. Seemed like more than just another one of your little spats.”
“Well, it’s not. He was just being a pill about his knee in the shot.”
“Oh. Sure.”
Judith bit her lip, her heart aching.
“Look, he apologized, okay? Can we drop it?”
Her brother just stared at her and she could feel her blush deepening. “He’s not trying anything funny with you, is he?”
Great. Bloody wonderful. “No,” she said as firmly as she could. “As if I’d even let him. And even if he was, it’s none of your damn business.”
“Of course it’s my business. You’re my sister.”
“I’m sorry, I could have sworn this was the twenty-first century. You know women have the vote, right? We’re even allowed to own property and everything.”
“Okay, okay.” Joseph blew out a breath. “Fine. Whatever. Don’t tell me. You still want me to pretend to be talking on the phone?”
Relieved he’d dropped the subject, Judith spent another fifteen minutes taking pictures —which was pretty much all the patience Joe had—then packed up her gear.
She was rather pleased with the shots she’d taken. Not being in the studio had made her antsy, but once she’d settled into the actual process of taking the pictures, she’d gotten right into it. And actually, it had been rather freeing not being limited by space or props.
Once Caleb had gone, she’d started to enjoy it more. She’d snapped some good ones of Joseph, capturing his brilliant, kinetic energy, while at the same time the focus he brought to all the things he was interested in. It had helped when Christie had called and talked to him on the phone. His voice had changed, his posture becoming more relaxed. She liked listening to him talk to his new wife, liked the tenderness in his voice.
Even if it brought a small lump to her throat. No one had ever talked to her like that, not even her brother.
Caleb did.
The lump in her throat grew larger.
After she’d finished with Joseph, she rode the elevator down from his office and as she stepped into Ashton Tech’s lobby, a man sitting in one of the couches in the waiting area slowly rose to his feet. She stopped, her heartbeat going into overdrive as she saw who it was.
Tall, dark, and dangerous. Speak of the devil.
“What are you doing here?” she said, trying to sound like her usual cool self. “I thought you had to leave?”
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