Talking Dirty With the Player

by Jackie Ashenden

  Caleb shoved his hands in his pockets. “I want to talk to you.”

  “What about?” She gripped the strap of her bag.

  “Among other things probably not sniping at each other around Joe. He’s going to wonder what’s up and I don’t know about you but I don’t see any need for him to find out what’s going on between us.”

  No, there wasn’t any need. God knew she didn’t want her brother poking his nose in her business. Especially considering the third degree he’d given her upstairs. Protective older brother mode was not helpful.

  That was all beside the point. “There’s nothing going on between us.”

  “Sure, Jude. And nothing’s the reason there were tears in your eyes just before. “

  So he’d seen her vulnerability. Crap. “I wasn’t crying.”

  “We can’t keep doing this, darling.” His voice softened. “You know that, right?”

  Damn. Of course he was right. They had to deal with this. Sort it out because she couldn’t afford to lose it again like she had in front of Joseph.

  She swallowed. “Okay. As long as we don’t do it in the lobby.”

  The double meaning of the words were not lost on her, though thank God, he only said, “There’s a bar round the corner. Let’s grab a drink.”

  Ten minutes later, at a quiet table in the back of the bar, Judith nursed the glass of red wine Caleb had ordered for her, while he sat opposite, leaning against the back of the booth, arms folded across his chest, watching her.

  “So,” he said. “Are you going to tell me why you were crying just now?”

  “I wasn’t crying. I just…teared up.”

  “Judith.”

  She looked down at her wine. The ache inside her pulled tight but the words wouldn’t come. It felt too risky, as if she was revealing too much. Making herself too vulnerable.

  An awkward silence fell.

  Then Caleb said softly, “You know what I’ve been doing the past couple of days? Thinking about you.”

  A small shock went through her. “Me?”

  “Yes, you. In fact you’re all I’ve been able to think about all damn week.”

  She lifted her head from her wine study and stared at him. “Why?”

  “Why do you think? Making love to you in your studio was just about the best sex I’ve had since…well, since eight years ago.”

  The words took a couple of seconds to sink in. She couldn’t stop staring at him. “W-what?”

  He leaned forward suddenly and the hunger in his gaze held her pinned to the spot. “I think you heard me. It was good. So damn good. Tell me you felt it, too.”

  Her mouth opened. Shut. And she knew she must look like a landed fish gasping uselessly for air but she couldn’t seem to pull herself together. “I…Caleb…”

  “You felt it, didn’t you? It was special, wasn’t it?”

  There were a number of different things she could say here. A thousand different reasons to give him. They would all be excuses, ways to protect herself. Because her instinct had always been to protect herself, ever since her mother had left her, walking out without an explanation. Without a good-bye. Just gone and had never returned. The loss had made it difficult for her to trust, and Caleb’s betrayal when she’d been eighteen had compounded it. Being vulnerable to other people was just something she found very difficult and it was hard to open up again. Especially to someone who’d already hurt her once before.

  Yet Caleb had given her something. Revealed something of himself. And to keep offering him excuses was not only petty but childish to boot.

  Judith clutched her wine glass and took a small sip for courage. “Yes.” Her voice had gone all hoarse. “Of course it was special.”

  There was a pause, his gaze fixed on her. “So why were you crying?”

  She swallowed. “Because seeing you hurt. I just…don’t know what to do. I’ve been telling myself for the last few days that us together is impossible. That I can’t do it, can’t get past that reputation of yours. That I can’t trust you again. And then I saw you in Joe’s office and I…” Her throat tightened. “I wanted you so much.”

  “Jude…”

  “I’m afraid, Cal. I don’t want to be hurt like that again.”

  He moved, reaching across the table, warm fingers closing around hers where they rested on the base of her wine glass. “You remember what I said in the studio? That I promised not to hurt you?”

  “I remember.”

  “And what if I also promised that I’d be around? That I’d stay in Auckland permanently? That it wouldn’t just be a few weekends here and there?”

  Fear was a hard knot inside her chest yet she had to start somewhere. She couldn’t keep holding the past over Caleb’s head or blaming him for the lifestyle he’d led. Or making him responsible for the behavior of the press. He was right, he couldn’t change that.

  It was up to her to take the next step, to learn to trust him again.

  He’d promised her. She had to take his word for it.

  “Then,” she said hoarsely, “I think I’d say what are we waiting for?”

  …

  Emotion too intense for mere relief flooded him. It was all he could do not to fling away the table between them, grab her in his arms, and haul her away somewhere dark and private right there and then.

  God he was glad he’d decided to stay and sort this out with her once and for all.

  Briefly his conscience muttered something about Joseph and he had to voice it, just to get it out there. “You know Joe’s going to kill me if he finds out?”

  Judith’s gaze flickered. “He doesn’t have to know. And if you’re going to start treating me like a holy relic just because I’m his sister, then we’re going to have to rethink this.”

  “I’m not. Don’t worry.” Already the meeting he had scheduled with Mike was as good as canceled. He felt no remorse. None at all. The only thing he felt was annoyance that he had nowhere to take her since he’d been living in a hotel since he got back from the UK. He’d been meaning to get a place but hadn’t got around to it since he hadn’t thought he’d be staying in Auckland permanently.

  “So shall we go to your apartment?” he said.

  “What? I mean…uh…now?” She looked vaguely shocked.

  “Yeah, now.” He wanted her naked in his arms and as quickly as humanly possible. “I’m not good at waiting.”

  She blushed again. It was adorable. “I guess I can manage that. But…you don’t want to go to your place?”

  “No. I’m living in a hotel and there’s too many paps around since the media knows where I am.” He grinned. “I don’t want to see Steve again, do you?” Besides, he’d had too many women in hotels before and he didn’t want Judith to be just one more.

  The tense look around her mouth eased. “Ugh, no, I don’t want that. Definitely my place then.”

  Caleb rose to his feet, impatient. “Then let’s go, babycakes.”

  They went back to her apartment in her car, the smell of her scent in the enclosed space driving him nuts. She didn’t speak and neither did he. The pressure of desire was too intense.

  He was wired by the time they got to her door and he couldn’t wait to get her inside, push her up against the wall—hell any available surface would do—and relieve the ache that was driving them both.

  Then he noticed that her hand shook as she put the key in the lock and it hit home—this was Judith. His best friend’s little sister. And he was fantasizing about shoving her against walls.

  Caleb swore under his breath. Did she need more time to get used to the idea? Was he rushing her? “Jude,” he said.

  She walked into the apartment, forcing him to follow.

  When they got to the lounge she turned suddenly, dropping her bag to the floor. “You better not be changing your mind, Caleb,” she said, a fierce light burning in her eyes.

  “You were shaking.”

  “I’m nervous.” She took a step toward him. Then another.
“But I want this. I do.”

  He couldn’t refuse her, he just couldn’t. Not when she looked at him like that.

  “What are you waiting for, then?” he said hoarsely. She took those last few steps toward him, then lifted her hands and pulled his mouth down on hers.

  Oh, yes, this was what he wanted. So hot and sweet and so very, very good.

  She kissed him, hungry and desperate, pressing her body against his. He could feel her shaking, taste her desperation, but he didn’t want it like this. Not when they had time and space to make it last.

  Gently, he slid his fingers into her hair, tugged her back. Her face was flushed, her breathing quick and ragged. “Hey,” he said softly. “Not so fast.”

  “What?” The word was panted out. “Did I do something wrong?”

  “No, God no.” He smiled, wanting to reassure her. “There’s no rush. We have plenty of time.”

  The serious look on her face eased a little. “O-okay.”

  Caleb twined his fingers in her hair. “Kiss me again. Nice and slow this time.”

  Judith let out a soft audible breath. Then she lifted her mouth to his, and this time the kiss was smoldering, hot and deep, leaving them both gasping.

  “Oh yeah,” he whispered against her skin. “That’s more like it.”

  She went still for a moment then stepped away. Determination burned in her eyes and a curious defiance that had his heart racing.

  “Whatcha doing, babycakes?” he murmured.

  “I want to call the shots this time.”

  She would get no argument from him. “You got it.”

  Judith raised her hands and, with shaking fingers, began pulling off the wrap-around silver dress. And as she did so, his gaze was drawn to the necklace that sat between her breasts, which had been hidden by the dress.

  “You’re still wearing it,” he breathed.

  “What?” Then she looked down and color swept through her face. “Oh yes. That.”

  “You really did like it, didn’t you?”

  “Of course I did.” She blushed deeper. “Can I get on with this now?”

  “Come here. Let me help.”

  She shook her head. “No. I want to do this myself.”

  So he stayed where he was, watching her as she unhooked her bra and got rid of that, too, his breath catching at the beauty of her. At all the pale, creamy skin she was revealing. The sweet curves of her breasts, and hard, pink little nipples. The narrow indent of her waist, the gentle swell of her hips.

  “Judith,” he said roughly as she kicked off her heels and shoved her leggings down, taking her panties with them. She stepped out of her clothes, utterly naked except for the pendant he’d bought her, and it was all he could do not to close the distance between them right there and then.

  She was blushing furiously but didn’t look away. And it was clear to him that she wanted him to look at her. So he did, letting his desire show on his face, letting her know exactly what she did to him.

  In the silence of the room he heard her breath catch. “The couch,” she said. “I want you to lie on the couch.”

  He did as he was told, lying back on the dark blue upholstery, watching as she came closer.

  “Open your jeans.”

  He couldn’t get his zipper down fast enough. “Are we going to talk dirty again? ’Cause I have to say, I’m totally on board with that.”

  One corner of her mouth turned up. “What goes around comes around.” She took an audible breath. “Take your cock out.”

  Oh, he could get used to this. Very used to it. Slowly he slid his hand inside his boxers and circled his cock. Then he met her gaze. “If you want it, darling, you’ll have to come and get it.”

  She blinked, blushing like a rose. Then came closer. And closer. And he stopped breathing as she reached for him, pulling down the fabric of his boxers so she could see.

  “Move your hand,” she murmured, her gaze fixed to his groin.

  So he did, the look in her eyes making the pleasure that nearly took his head off all that more intense. Of course his hand was a poor substitute for what he really wanted. Her.

  “Enough, beautiful.” Releasing his cock, he reached for her instead, gripping her hips. Pulling her forward. “I want you.”

  She didn’t protest, coming down onto his lap slowly, straddling him. The breath hissed in his throat as she let her hand drop, fingers stroking the length of his cock. “Damn.” Her eyes darkened, a stricken look on her face. “I forgot. I don’t have any condoms.”

  Good thing he did. “Wallet.” He had to force the words out as her fingers drifted over him. “Back pocket.” He’d replaced the one they’d used in the studio. Replaced it secretly hoping there would be another time. Another moment with Judith…

  He shifted for her as she got the wallet and took out the condom. But when she tried to put it on for him, he had to take it off her, unable to bear the stroke of her cool fingers on his hot flesh.

  “Caleb—”

  “Sorry, darling, I’m too close. Next time, I promise.”

  She didn’t protest, her breathing as fast as his was. Instead she lifted herself up above him then sank down onto him, the hot, wet clasp of her body taking him in.

  He groaned, unable to look away from her.

  The sun through the windows fell over her naked body, pale skin, and dark hair. Her head thrown back, her mouth slightly open, black lashes resting on her flushed cheeks.

  So beautiful. This was a side to her no one had ever gotten to see. The passionate side. No one except him.

  His hands closed on her hips, beginning to move her on him. “You should have your photo taken.”

  Her breathing had become ragged. “What?”

  “Your photo. Right now. With you like this.”

  “Why?”

  “So you can see yourself. So you can see how beautiful you are right now.”

  Color swept over her. Gently he urged her on with his hands. “Don’t stop. Keep moving on me. Nice and slow.”

  “Caleb…” His name was a soft moan on her lips.

  “Yeah, I’ve got you.” He gripped her tighter, the slow slide in and out of her driving him crazy.

  She felt so good. Insanely good. He wanted to watch her. Watch her lose herself. Wanted to see her come apart again the way she had in the studio before.

  He ran a hand up her side and cupped the soft roundness of one breast, his thumb gently circling her nipple. She groaned, arching into his touch.

  Caleb reached for his phone where it lay on the floor next to his wallet. He lifted it, switched it to camera mode, then took her picture.

  Her lashes lifted at the sound. She didn’t look at the camera, only at him.

  Then she held his gaze as she continued to move on him, and pleasure gripped him tight.

  Their breathing came faster, harder. He took another picture and another, the screen full of her passionate, intense face.

  Then abruptly he threw the phone down, and sat up. Thrust his hands into her hair. Pulled her mouth down on his and took them both over the edge.

  Chapter Nine

  Judith slumped forward over Caleb’s prone figure, pressing her hot face against the hard wall of his chest. Her heart hammered in her ears, her cry of release still echoing around the room. Beneath her ear, she could hear his heartbeat, as fast and hard as her own.

  Oh boy. Who knew she’d had such an inner vamp? She certainly hadn’t. Stripping in front of him and then giving him dirty orders. Straddling him on the couch. It alternately pleased her at the same time as it made her flush with embarrassment.

  And that wasn’t counting the moment he’d started taking pictures…

  She’d always hated having her own picture taken. Her place was behind the camera, not in front of it. And yet she hadn’t told him to stop. Hadn’t pushed him away. Why not?

  A gentle hand tangled in her hair, tugging her head up. His other hand touched her cheek, brushed over her mouth. “You okay?”
>
  A helpless grin began to creep over her face. “Yes.”

  He smiled at her. “What’s so funny?”

  “I don’t know. I just…I suppose I never thought of myself as a woman who’d push a guy down on her couch and have her wicked way with him.”

  Caleb gave a soft laugh. “And you kind of like the idea?”

  “I guess I do.”

  He leaned over the side of the couch and picked up the phone. Judith groaned. “Oh, no, I don’t want—”

  “Look, darling.”

  And, God help her, she looked. But it wasn’t embarrassing, or at least, not as embarrassing as she’d thought. Because the woman in the picture looked incredible. She had her head thrown back, the sun on her bare body, the look of abandonment on her face. The picture was slightly blurred, giving the photo a feeling of movement, of energy, her face over exposed and without shadow, the redness of her mouth in startling contrast to all the white.

  It was an amazing picture. And it was her.

  “That’s how beautiful you are, Jude.” Caleb said quietly. “That’s how you look when you let yourself go.”

  She felt a strange twist inside her chest. Like the ground shifting after an earthquake.

  He was the one who’d brought that side of herself out. The passionate, spontaneous side. The only one. Had always been the only one.

  The knowledge felt raw and uncomfortable and she wanted to get away from it. Yet she didn’t want to move. Didn’t want to let go of him. Not just yet.

  “Shall I delete them?”

  “Yes, please.” She didn’t want those photos on her phone where anyone might see them. And yet when he deleted the pictures she felt oddly bereft. As if that woman had been lost somehow and she might never get her back.

  Caleb’s hand stroked down her spine as if he’d picked up on her weird emotional state, and the touch eased her confusion, grounding her into the here and now. “I don’t know what your plans are for the day,” he said. “But I thought we could sit in front of the telly for a couple of Antiques Roadshow episodes.”

  Judith looked up at him. “Oh, well, you can. I thought I might just have a shower and go back to bed.” She sat up. “I was going to ask you if you wanted to join me but you know you might miss out on a Picasso hidden in the bottom of an old shoe or something.”