Without saying a word he’d let her know he understood who and what she was and that it was okay with him. It was the kind of acceptance she’d only experienced with her family and, even then, with qualifications. Donna wanted her to be more social, Alexis more aggressive, her father more focused. Not that Matt wouldn’t have his own opinions if he knew her better. She was miles from perfect, a work in progress, a lump of clay spinning on a potter’s wheel ripe with possibilities.
“I believe in extremists. I don’t think anything would ever get accomplished without them.”
“You can’t be serious.” She believed true change came from reasonable people willing to compromise.
“Without someone to set the pendulum’s swing, we wouldn’t know where to find the middle. None of us in the business of making changes gets everything we want, the extremists allow us to look like moderates and to go after changes that will make a difference.”
“I understand how you might feel this way about those on the left, but what about the right?”
He laughed. “You’re quick, Kelly. And you’re not afraid of me. I can’t tell you how refreshing that is.”
“I imagine it can get lonely up there on the pedestal,” she teased, enjoying herself with him more than she had any man in a long time.
Suddenly serious, he said, “You have no idea.”
The words stuck a chord of response that melted another layer of reserve. Oh, no you don’t, her obnoxious inner voice warned. No matter how tempting, no matter how intriguing, you will not go where this man could lead you.
This time she listened … reluctantly.
AS PREDICTED, BY NOON THE SUN HAD WON its battle with the fog, thinning the drops of water like a five-year-old with a stickpin in a room full of balloons. The Western Flyer had reached its destination and launched the remote-operated vehicle.
Everything was in place to begin the experiment.
Matt provided a running commentary, only a fraction of which Kelly understood. She did, however, manage to grasp the overall picture and ask questions a step above rudimentary.
They were there to measure how fast carbon dioxide would rise to the surface when released at different depths. The depth today was eight hundred meters, the release made in a plastic box that protected the droplets from lateral water movement but without a top or bottom to impede its upward motion.
Kelly watched the progress on the bank of monitors. After several minutes she leaned closer to Matt, and said softly, “I understand what’s going on, but I’m a long way from understanding why.”
“The oceans act as a clearinghouse for the earth’s carbon dioxide, but it’s a painfully slow process. Until the last century there was no need for it to occur any faster. Now there’s compelling evidence that the carbon dioxide–which is primarily a by-product of modern industry, our love of the automobile, and the destruction of the rain forests–is responsible for the disappearance of the ozone layer.”
“Resulting in what is commonly called the greenhouse effect,” Kelly added.
“You’ve done your homework.”
“I’ve read your book.” According to a note on the dust jacket, all profits from the sale of the book went to environmental groups, including one she actually recognized, The Nature Conservancy. She was usually skeptical about such things, having seen too many balance sheets come through the office with travel, entertainment, equipment, and questionable miscellaneous items listed as expenses that were charged against profit. Now that she’d been to Matt’s house, seen his bicycle, and his on-loan car, knowing he borrowed a surfboard instead of owning one, she was willing to bet that unless he had a secret bank account in the Cayman Islands, there were, indeed, donations being made to the charities designated.
“But I don’t understand what releasing bubbles–” And then it hit her. “Oh, I get it. You’re testing to see if you can get the ocean to absorb the carbon dioxide faster.”
“Without creating a bigger mess than we already have. We don’t want to jump into a ‘cure’ that turns out to be worse than the problem.”
“This seems more a business solution than something an environmentalist would come up with. I thought you guys were focused on stopping the pollution, not finding a way to live with it.”
“Us guys?” Matt repeated.
“Sorry, it just came out.” Even while sparring with him, she was aware of him physically. She wasn’t a toucher. She never put her hand on someone’s arm during a conversation to make a point or intimate closeness. Yet she found it was almost all she could think about with Matt. At one point she’d actually reached up to adjust his collar before she realized what she was doing and stuffed her hands in her pockets. Then it was as much as she could do to keep from brushing his hair back from his forehead when they went inside to watch the monitors.
“Those of us who have done the research and come up with the facts and figures are in a race for answers. We’ve recognized we’re not going to win the cooperation of enough countries in time to stop what’s happening, so we’re looking for a backup plan.”
Spoken in a careful, even tone that belied the importance of the message, the words were too devastating to absorb all at once. Either she believed Matt and his friends were wrong, or she believed the planet was dying. On that, there was no middle ground. “There are a lot of people–good people–who disagree with you.”
“If I hadn’t seen the evidence for myself, I would look for a way to disagree with me, too. It’s a damn big pill to swallow.”
“What evidence?”
A slow smile formed. “If we do this now, you’re going to fall asleep in class.”
There was something about the way he said it that made Kelly hesitate. “How do you do it?”
“How do I do what?”
“Live like this. How can you get up in the morning knowing–believing–what you do?”
Instead of answering, he took her hand and led her outside. “Look,” he said and pointed to the sea.
She did. “I don’t see anything.”
“Look closer.”
Off the bow, gleaming black cormorants rode the swells, there one second, gone the next, then silently surfacing again with a silver flash of fish that disappeared in a quick swallow. A sea lion surfaced behind them and rolled to his side, his flipper stuck in the air as if waving.
“They do that for temperature control,” Matt said. “The way elephants use their ears.”
He moved behind her, put his hands on her shoulders, gently turned her to the left, then leaned forward and grabbed the rail on either side of her. “Do you see the white fishing boat out there?”
She nodded, acutely aware of his body pressing against hers. She glanced at his hands, at the way they held the railing, at the way the muscles moved on his forearms. For an insane instant she imagined his hands touching her, felt their power as he cupped her face and gazed into her eyes.
“Look just to the right and keep watching.”
“What am I–”
“Don’t talk, just look.”
She did, afraid to blink for fear of missing something. And then she saw what Matt had seen before her. It took her breath away. A blue whale surfaced to exhale, just once, leaving a spout of warmed mist in the air, before diving again. They were too far away to see the animal distinctly, but that didn’t matter. Just knowing a whale was near, swimming in the same water that held their boat, filled her with awe. She was speechless with a yearning she didn’t understand.
“I do what I do,” he said softly and as a simple matter of fact, “because I see these things, and I don’t know how to stop working to protect them.”
5
ON THEIR WAY BACK FROM MOSS LANDing the traffic on Highway 1 slowed to a crawl, then stopped for minutes at a time. Kelly glanced at the dashboard clock. It was going to be seven or later by the time Matt dropped her off. “I don’t know about you, but I’m getting hungry.”
“Did you want to stop somewhere?”
“If you did that, then I would just have to take you out again tomorrow to thank you for the home-cooked meal and you would feel you had to cook again and the next day …” He looked at her and grinned. “Who knows where it would end?”
“You can’t take me out tomorrow, you’re teaching a class.”
“Well, I guess we’re safe then. I have to warn you, though, I’m a vegetarian.”
“Why doesn’t that surprise me?”
“Think you can handle it?”
“You are looking at a woman knee deep in vegetables. Since I’ve been here, I can’t seem to drive past a fruit-and-vegetable stand. I don’t think there’s one I’ve spotted that I haven’t stopped and bought something.”
“Then all we’re missing is bread and wine.”
“Got ‘em.”
“Where have you been all my life?”
“San Diego.”
He laughed. “Are all lawyers so literal?”
“I would think you’d have a pretty good idea of what lawyers are and aren’t by now.”
“I’m constantly being surprised.” The cars in front of them started moving again. “That’s another thing that gets me out of bed in the morning.”
They traveled the next mile without either of them saying anything. Finally, Kelly broke the silence. “You aren’t what I expected.”
“You came with preconceived ideas?” he gently chided.
“I’d heard a lot about you.”
“From?”
“Other lawyers.”
“And you expected a frothing-at-the-mouth, hard-nosed, humorless, son-of-a-bitch fanatic.”
She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. “Well, maybe not frothing at the mouth.” He laughed again, and she realized it was what she’d been after. When he smiled, one corner of his mouth rose higher than the other, his eyes crinkled, and a single dimple appeared high on his left cheek. She found it almost impossible not to smile in return.
As soon as they cleared the forest and turned onto the beach road, Kelly spotted a strange car in her driveway, a candy apple red Mustang, the kind lusted after by men who believed in beer commercials.
“Looks like you have company,” Matt said.
“It’s probably a neighbor using the driveway. You and Andrew are the only people I know here.”
“Or someone using the beach who didn’t know the house has been rented and was afraid to get caught parking on the road.”
The road was posted with “NO PARKING” signs from the public parking lot at the state park to the last house on the beach. While the promised fines protected the homeowners from being overwhelmed by cars, most had been forced to widen their driveways to accommodate visitors. According to Andrew, cars frequently spilled over to neighbors’ houses when someone was having a party.
The question was answered as soon as Matt pulled into Andrew’s driveway and Ray looked out from behind Kelly’s house to investigate.
“Oh, no,” she groaned.
“You know this guy, I take it?” Matt said.
“Regrettably.” She opened her car door.
Matt got out and joined her.
Ray stood his ground and waited for her to come to him. “I thought I would surprise you,” he said. “I can see that I have.”
“Ray Sperling–Matt Landry,” she said.
They shook hands, Matt with good humor, Ray with a scowl.
“What are you doing here, Ray?” Kelly asked.
He looked at Matt before turning his attention to her. “Could we talk about this inside? In private?”
“I’ve invited Matt to dinner.”
“This is important, Kelly,” Ray said.
“Why don’t we make it another night?” Matt offered.
He wasn’t backing away, he was simply making it easier for her, letting her make the decision. “Thank you.”
He looked into her eyes and smiled. “Anytime.”
“I’ll walk you to your car.” She left Ray standing in the middle of the road, his hands on his hips, his posture possessive.
Matt opened the car door and paused before getting inside. “Old boyfriend?”
“Yes … but not so old. I broke up with him two days ago. Obviously he didn’t believe I was serious.”
“Are you okay with this? Do you want me to stick around?”
She looked at his mouth, at the soft shadow of a beard on his chin and above his top lip, and without stopping to consider the consequences, told him exactly what she wanted. “Kiss me.”
He only hesitated a second before he put his hand on the back of her neck and brought her forward for what must have looked like a searingly deep kiss to Ray. When she realized he had no intention of giving her the kiss she wanted, she opened her mouth and touched her tongue to his. He responded immediately, taking the lead, tasting, testing, sending a shot of liquid fire from her lips to her toes.
It was more than she’d bargained for, more than she expected, and less than she wanted.
“Will that do it?” Matt asked.
“For now,” she said.
He glanced over her shoulder. “I think you got what you were after.”
She started to turn and look, then thought better of it. “What do you mean?”
“Once he gets past the strutting jealousy part, he’ll be putty in your hands.”
She frowned, confused. And then it hit her, she hadn’t kissed Matt to make Ray jealous, she’d done it to show him that she’d moved on. But that wasn’t the way Matt had seen it. He had no way of knowing that with Ray actions spoke louder than words. Embarrassed beyond words of explanation, she mumbled, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have involved you in this.”
He lowered his head and tucked his hand under her chin to force her to look at him. “Hey, what are friends for?”
“Not this.” She’d used him, and she didn’t like people who used people. She was losing control of everything–her life, her beliefs, her honor. “I’m glad Ray saw us together–but I kissed you because I wanted to.”
“Good luck.” He got in the car and rolled down the window. “I’ll see you in class.”
He didn’t believe her. She nodded and watched him drive away, feeling as if she’d lost something it would be impossible to regain.
“That was quite a show.” Ray jammed his hands in his pockets. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”
“Why are you here?” She was suddenly, overwhelmingly tired, her lack of sleep and the emotional roller coaster ride she was on putting her near the edge of civility.
“Can we go inside?”
She walked past him, cutting through the garden instead of taking the brick pathway that ran in front of the house. He backtracked the way he had come and met her at the front door.
As soon as she rounded the corner she understood Ray’s insistence on going inside. He wanted her to see the flowers and Godiva chocolate that were sitting on the porch, believing they would do most of his work for him. She unlocked the door and stepped over the elaborate presentation bouquet as if it were a nuisance.
Obviously annoyed at her casual dismissal of his gifts, Ray brought them inside and tried to hand her the candy. “They’re your favorites,” he said accusingly.
“Not anymore.”
“Since when?”
“I’ve switched–” For the life of her she couldn’t come up with another brand of chocolates. “To cinnamon rolls.”
He tossed the box on a chair, looked at the flowers, and tossed them there, too. “All right, I’ll give you this one. Just tell me what it’s going to take to make things right between us, and I’ll do it.”
“It’s not going to happen.”
“Don’t you think you’re carrying this a little too far? I said I was sorry, why can’t you–”
She held up her hand. “Hold on just a minute. I m
ust have missed something. Exactly when was it that you said you were sorry?”
He motioned toward the candy and flowers. “What do you call this?”
“A bribe.”
He flushed an unattractive red that left splotches on his cheeks. Before saying anything, he made an elaborate bow. “I’m sorry.” Upright again, he glared at her. “Is that what you want?”
“What I want is to be left alone.” She kicked off her shoes, sat in the corner of the sofa, and pulled her legs up against her chest. “I don’t understand why you’re doing this, Ray. You don’t love me. You never really did. We had fun for a while, then it stopped being fun. Once word gets out that you’re free again, you’ll have women crawling over each other to get to you.”
“I don’t want other women. I want you.”
If he’d shown half this much passion when they were together, it would have been twice as hard to leave. “You’ve always said you thought Dara was–”
Stunned, he looked as if she’d slapped him. “How do you know about Dara? Who told you? It was Donna, wasn’t it? She’s always butting into things that aren’t any of her business.”
How could she have been so stupid? All the signs were there, she’d just refused to see them. “I wasn’t accusing you of anything,” she said evenly. “I was about to suggest you might want to go out with Dara now that you’re free.”
“Nothing happened between us. We went out a couple of times, but that was it.”
“I don’t care.” Amazingly, she didn’t. “Now you can do whatever you want, whenever you want, and not worry about who might see you. It’s called freedom, Ray. And I’m giving it to you. Now be grateful and get out of here and leave me alone.”
For what seemed an eternity, he stood in the middle of the room and stared at her, his eyes betraying his inner conflict. Finally, he moved toward her and went down on bended knee. “I wanted to save this for later, but you’ve forced my hand.”
Another Summer Page 10
