Someone to Love

by Hampton, Lena

  She covered his hands resting on her belly. “I don’t hate you.”

  “It sure seems that way. First you leave with no explanation, knowing that that’s exactly what my father did. Then you come here on the verge of delivery just to tell me you want me to abandon my child the same way my father did me. You have to hate me to hurt me on purpose as much as you do.”

  “I don’t hate you. I’m not trying to hurt you. It pains me to see you hurt and know I’m the one that caused it.” She reached out and touched his face.

  He leaned in to the feel of her touch. “Why did you leave?”

  “I couldn’t stay, Cooper. I just couldn’t.” She moved her hands to her chest and grimaced. Magnolia leaned all the way back in the chair and fanned herself. Her breaths were shallow and frequent because there was a pain that kept her from taking a deep breath. It felt like a heart attack, but she knew it was a panic attack. “I was overwhelmed,” she said between gasps.

  “What was overwhelming? It was the best months of my life, followed by the worst.” She was still clutching her chest. “Are you okay?”

  She closed her eyes and nodded.

  “Let me get you some water.”

  Noli knew the water wouldn’t help because this was mental and not physical, but she accepted it anyway. She drank half of the bottle then sat it on the table.

  “I’ve felt different all day. Probably because I was nervous about coming here.”

  He was back on his knees in front of her with his hands on her belly.

  “Your stomach is harder than it was before.”

  “It’s been feeling that way for a few hours.” Noli replied through clenched teeth, as she gripped the sides of the chair with her hands to help ease the pain unbearable pain.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “I’m sure.”

  “Good. Then we can discuss our next steps. I can think of three options to our situation. One, you take the baby and I see her every now and again. Two, I keep the baby and you see him whenever you’re not traveling. Option one isn’t fair to me. You know I can’t just let you leave and take our child. You know that right? And two isn’t fair to you.”

  “You’re right, neither of those options are fair. What’s three? We share custody and I move close, like maybe Indy?” It had been the logical and preferred choice to her.

  He shook his head. “Option three, we get married.”

  She rocketed out of the chair, throwing him off balance for a moment. That wasn’t an option. Marriage was until death do you part and she couldn’t fathom someone else close to her dying. “Married. That’s not an option.” Her hand began to rub her belly.

  He stood to tower over her. “Why not? It’s the fairest. It’s fair to you because you won’t have to endure raising our child alone. It’s fair to me because I’ll get to be a constant and active part of my child’s life. Our baby will benefit from having both parents.”

  “We don’t have to get married for the child to benefit from both of us. The idea of marriage for the child’s sake is antiquated. People don’t do that anymore. Plus, what are the chances of a marriage surviving based on nothing more than shared lineage?” She tried without success to get enough air.

  “There’s more than the baby. We were good together. No, we are great together. No one in my life has ever made me…” he paused, and a look she didn’t recognize crossed his face. “No woman’s made me feel the way you make me feel about you, Magnolia.”

  For the first time that night he’d used her full name like he used to. She’d missed that. She’d missed him.

  “And we have excellent chemistry, both in and out of the bed,” he continued.

  He caressed her neck with his fingers. She wondered if he could feel her rapid pulse.

  “We can’t base a marriage on getting along well, awesome sex, and a baby.” She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch.

  He pulled her closer and whispered in her ear. “Most successful marriages are based on those three things.” He pulled her as close as her pregnant belly would allow and nibbled on her ear. “The sex was awesome.”

  “What about love? Isn’t that supposed to be part of a marriage?”

  “Yes, it is. And there’s a lot of love. You love when I do this.” He caressed her back. “And I love this.” His hand moved lower until he reached her bottom and squeezed it. “And we both love this.” He lowered his mouth to hers and finally kissed her.

  She’d wanted to feel his lips on hers since the moment he walked into the bar. Her memories didn’t do justice to the way his kiss felt.

  She let out a soft moan. Then a loud groan as she pushed back away from the kiss and grabbed her stomach. She blew out a long breath and a high pitched sound that could have perked the ears of every dog in the county. She reached out for his hand and squeezed it tight. “Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Mmmmm. Holy cow that hurt.”

  “Are you okay?”

  She nodded. “It’s passing.”

  “Noli, was that a contraction? Are…are you in labor?” he stuttered.

  “I think it’s just a Braxton Hicks.”

  “What kind of hick?”

  “Braxton Hicks, it’s like a fake contraction. A book said they sometimes happen the closer you get to the actual due date.”

  “Are you sure? That didn’t look fake. Do we need to get you to the hospital?”

  “No. I’m fine.” She realized her hand was still in his. “Thank you. Sorry I hurt your hand.”

  His smile made another appearance. “You didn’t hurt me. You could squeeze my hand off if it helps, even a little. Do you want to do this by yourself? Labor is just the beginning. You want to take care of a baby by yourself? Do you want to raise a child by yourself? My mother will tell you it’s not easy. Why do it alone when we can do it together, as a team?”

  “Can’t we be a team and not be married?”

  “We could. This baby changes things. It raises the stakes. I need more than just your agreement to teamwork. I need a commitment and marriage is just that.”

  She took a step away from him and knocked into the table. The bottle of water fell, spilling water on the floor. Cooper turned to get a small towel that was sitting on his desk. Noli grimaced as the puddle on the floor continued to grow. Her brown eyes widened. “Cooper, I don’t think that was a Braxton Hicks.”

  “Why not?” He turned back towards her. The puddle on the floor was much larger than what could be accounted for by the contents of the knocked over bottle.

  “Because my water just broke.”

  Chapter 1

  PART ONE: Eleven Months Earlier

  As the plane began to descend, Noli’s heart rate began to climb. It wasn’t because she hated flying or landing. It had been more than a year since she’d left Indiana. This was the state that she was born and raised in, her home state. But she felt no comfort here because this was also the place where her world fell apart. It was here on a stretch of I-65 that a semi blew its tires and the driver lost control, hitting her parent’s car. Their death wasn’t instantaneous, but they did die before she could say goodbye.

  After their joint funeral, she tried to live in the house she grew up in without them, but it was impossible. Memories were everywhere she went. There were pictures on every horizontal and most vertical surfaces. The large mug that her father used to feed his caffeine addiction, sat in the dish rack never to be used again. One of the slippers her mother would always misplace and walk all over the cold hardwood floors to find peeked out from under the sofa. Her mother’s car still sat in the garage, alone, as if it were waiting on its mate to pull in next to it.

  Many people had told her to concentrate on the good times and be grateful for their time together. She was grateful for the almost twenty-three years they shared, but knowing no new memories would be made pained her. It was the pain the memories caused that she ran from.

  The only reason she was returning now was that her cousin, Diane, begged her to come.
There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do for her because even though they were cousins, they were close like sisters. It was that closeness that brought her back. Otherwise, she’d still be wandering all over the country and parts of the world.

  When she reached the sidewalk near the pickup lane with her many bags she saw her cousin immediately. Diane considered being early as being there on time. If she was on time, she considered herself late. If her cousin was late… well, her cousin was never late. It balanced Noli, who was rarely on time and never early.

  “Princess Di!” Noli said when Diane got out the car. She had taken to calling her cousin the nickname because she considered her uncle’s wife as the Queen of Mean.

  “Noli!”

  Her usually non-physical cousin pulled her into an embrace. She held onto her cousin tightly for a few moments. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed her until she saw her.

  “How much did you pay in baggage fees?” her ever practical cousin asked.

  “Too much. These bags have been across the country and around the world with me. Each place I’ve visited has added another bag.”

  “Will you be going home after the wedding?”

  Noli paused, lost in her thoughts. She didn’t know where home was. The house she was raised in was just that now, a house. It was her parents love for each other and her that made it a home. Without them, she felt homeless. Her eyes watered for a moment before she pushed the tears back down and locked them in the vault with all the other unshed sadness. “I doubt it. Uncle Robert is taking good care of the house.”

  Diane was always intuitive and changed the subject. “Are you ready to plan a wedding?”

  Thoughts of playing a role in making her cousin’s special day special changed her mood. “I’m ready to plan an urban-chic-country wedding for you and this random guy you met on the side of the road.” Noli couldn’t believe when she got a call from her cousin requesting her assistance in planning a wedding to a man she’d just met a couple of months ago, when he rescued her from a stranded car on the side of the road during a snowstorm. It was especially shocking since up until the fateful day of her car troubles, Diane had been engaged to a doctor in Chicago.

  “He’s not some random guy. Wait, did you say urban-chic-country?”

  “Exactly. As soon as I get settled in the hotel, I’ll come show you what I already have in mind.” Ever since Noli learned how to tie off a balloon with no help, she’d been planning parties and celebrations.

  “About the hotel, my fiancé’s mom said no family of hers was staying in a hotel when there was an empty bed in her house. I love you, but I didn’t want to fight that battle for you. Especially since I doubt I could win.”

  “Not staying in a hotel will be a good change,” Noli lied. The polite yet disassociated staff at hotels had grown into a comfort for her. There was little risk of forming any type of emotional investment with hotel staff. There was this one bed and breakfast that she stayed at until she started to care about the proprietor so, she left quicker than Speedy Gonzales. “Plus I’ll get a chance to catch up with my favorite cousin.” That part was true. For the most part her cousin led a boring life, and just when it got interesting Noli was incommunicado.

  “I have a lot of ideas for the wedding.”

  “That’s good, but I don’t want this wedding to have you so preoccupied you won’t have time to study for the bar exam.”

  “You and momma are going to get along just fine. She said the same thing.”

  “When did you start calling Aunt Catherine momma?”

  “I was talking about my future mother in law. Speaking of my mother, she wanted me to tell you hello Magnolia,” she said putting emphasis on every syllable of the name.

  Despite repeated attempts to get her aunt to call her anything but Magnolia, she refused. “You and Jack seem to be moving fast. Calling his mother momma. Getting engaged after just a month.”

  Diane sighed. “Please don’t start Noli. I thought you’d be happy for me.”

  “I am very happy for you. I can’t wait to meet Jack because he must be something special. I’m just amazed. A bit confused too. This is just so, so, spontaneous. It sounds like something I would do, not you.” Noli had always been considered the free spirited hare, whereas Diane was the slow, steady, and practical tortoise.

  “All those years of you saying ‘come on let’s do it’ rubbed off on me. I guess I’ve changed. ”

  “I’m sure I wasn’t the only one rubbing on you saying let’s do it. I’m sure Jack’s done plenty of…”

  “Noli, that is so inappropriate!”

  Noli laughed at her cousin’s embarrassment. “And Diane is back.”

  As they pulled up to the farmhouse, a fifty something woman with gray hair walked out onto the porch. Noli got out the car and reached her hand out to the women smiling before her. “You must be Mrs. Sloan, it’s so good to meet you. Thank you for letting me stay here.”

  “You’re just like Diane when I first met her, trying to shake hands and calling me Mrs. Sloan. Come here.” Noli found herself unexpectedly wrapped up in a warm, soft hug. It took her a moment, but she returned the embrace. “Oh Magnolia, did you catch a bug or something while you were traveling? You’re so thin. Or did you get tired of hotel food? I imagine you’ve seen more hotels than a high class hooker.”

  “I, um, I have seen a lot of hotel rooms.” Noli was taken by surprise at the frankness of this woman. During her months of travel Noli had lost a considerable amount of weight. It had little, almost nothing to do with the quality of hotel food and more to do with her lack of interest in eating. She was also shocked that she found comfort in this stranger’s embrace. “Please call me Noli. Magnolia is my great grandmother.”

  “And you call me Rose. Are you hungry?”

  “No, I ate on the plane.”

  “Magnolia, I mean Noli, you come on in and eat. Peanuts and half a can of soda are not a meal.” If Jack was anything like his mother, Noli could understand her cousin’s quick engagement because she was already a little bit in love with his mother. Rose’s aggressive yet pleasant affection was infectious.

  A few minutes later Magnolia sat at the kitchen table eating the best homemade biscuit she’d ever had when two men walked in. They were both tall, but one had a few inches on the other and his solid wide build made the other man look rail thin. He was bigger than most men in both height and width. He was solid and had a thick full beard that extended from his mane. He reminded her of Paul Bunyan, right down to the buffalo plaid shirt he was wearing over a long sleeve thermal shirt.

  The smaller, and leaner one winked at Diane as he went up the stairs behind his larger companion. When the two men returned downstairs, it was easy for Noli to confirm which was Jack from the way he looked at Diane. Noli understood why her cousin was rushing to the altar and was a smidge jealous. She wondered if a man looked that good and looked at her that way, if she’d be saying ‘I do’ too. The thought was quickly squashed by the ever present fear of loving and having that love ripped away.

  “Noli, this is my fiancé Jack,” Diane said grinning so wide that every tooth seemed visible. She didn’t think she’d ever seen her that happy before.

  “Nice to meet you Jack.” Noli went to shake his hand but he pulled her into an embrace much like his mother had.

  “Magnolia, thank you for coming to plan our wedding,” Jack said then released her from the embrace. “Diane’s said Martha Stewart could learn a thing or two from you.”

  “I’m happy to be here. I’d do anything for Diane, but she’s exaggerated my abilities. And by all means call me Noli. I have another six decades before Magnolia is age appropriate.”

  “Noli, this is my buddy, Cooper.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Magnolia.”

  The timbre of Cooper’s voice made Noli want to sigh. She attempted to just wave hello, but once again found arms encircling her. Rose’s hug felt cozy and soft, and Jack’s was warm, but Cooper’s
was electrifying. She felt comfort, safety, and desire in his arms. No hug had ever made her feel so many things. She didn’t want it to end and perhaps he hadn’t either because it lasted a little longer than appropriate for strangers. Or maybe it just seemed that way because of the effect it had on her.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Cooper but I prefer Noli.”

  “I prefer Magnolia. It’s a beautiful name from a lovely flower and well suited for a beautiful and lovely woman.”

  There was silence for a moment because Noli didn’t know how to respond to him and she was a bit mesmerized by the green flecks she saw in his hazel eyes. She looked to Diane for help but was rewarded with a raised shoulder.

  “Noli, Cooper has volunteered a space for the wedding,” Diane said rescuing her at last. “Maybe after dinner we can go check it out.”

  “I was hoping to spend some time with you after dinner,” Jack said smiling at Diane.

  “You two spend some time together,” Rose said. “We can go look at it after I clean up.” She looked at the clock and snapped her fingers. “No I can’t, I’m supposed to call my sister in a half hour. You can borrow my car though.”

  Diane must have seen the panic in Noli’s eyes. “It can be easy for us city girls to get lost out here. Every dirt road looks the same, especially in the dark.”

  That’s one of the reasons Noli loved her cousin so much, she was always willing to act as a buffer or cover for her. She did not want to tell total strangers that the thought of her getting behind the wheel of a car made her feel like she was having a heart attack.

  “Maybe Cooper can take you over to look at it. Would you mind, Cooper?” Jack said, not ready to relinquish time with his fiancé.

  “I’m game if she is,” Cooper said.

  Noli looked at the couple and didn’t want to deprive them of time together. “Sure, that sounds good,” she said uncertain of that decision. She had never been attracted to that much facial hair, but there was something about Cooper that could make spending time alone with him problematic.

  ***

  Cooper made sure to end up seated next to Magnolia at the table. Her flawless and smooth deep brown skin, and bright round brown eyes intrigued him. When he hugged her, he hadn’t wanted to let go. Holding her had been like holding a missing piece of himself. It caught him off guard that he was attracted to her. He usually went for curvier women, but something had interested him the moment he saw her.