Billy Purgatory: I am the Devil Bird

by Jesse James Freeman

  “I killed a god on his own island and stole his boat.”

  Anastasia shook her head. She didn't believe.

  “And you, you traitorous spoiled princess. The thorn in my gut - you have found me on just the right night in just the right mood.”

  Billy let the lantern fly from his hand and smash onto the wood of the coffin. The wind would do well for the flames and the rain was still plenty far away and would be unable to stop the burning that had begun.

  “Billy.” Anastasia's voice was a whisper. “What did you do?”

  “I prioritized and struck back.”

  She watched the flames run up the mast and lick at the sail. Begin burning into the symbol of evil it so proudly held.

  Anastasia was backing off the dock when Billy pulled the knife from his belt.

  “It's great you found me, Anastasia. I'd hate to be the only one at the funeral,” Billy began to cut into the rope that held the ship to the dock. “It wouldn't seem right.”

  “You've sealed your death, you stupid boy!”

  “Send a message for me, won't you?” Billy slashed down with the knife and sent the burning Viking ship loose to the waves and the storm.

  Anastasia was trying to melt back into the dark.

  “Tell your bosses hello from me,” called Billy, “and that your mission is going great!”

  She was gone, but he knew she could still hear him. He knew that she was freaking out and needed that one last stroke of icing on the cake. “Anastasia, you work for the Satanic Four now!”

  III

  Billy Purgatory followed the screams down the mountainside after completing the beginnings of the work he had come to the Tiger Peninsula to do. The storm was ended and the sun had risen then set many hours ago.

  She had somehow found a way to begin her reign of terror on the fishing village during the storm. Obviously it had been dark enough for her to get right to it and not wait for true sundown as the village side of the island kept a black pitch hanging over it from the swirling steam powered weather front. Billy had never been entirely sure just how afraid Anastasia was of the sunshine anyway. If anything, the sun was probably afraid of her.

  As well it should be.

  For a place where the ocean was such a part of everyday life and bathed in ongoing cycle of humidity and rain, Billy had never seen so many raging fires.

  All that stood of what had been the general store was an ice cream cooler that Billy found was still stocked with malt liquor. The screams of men and women were interplaying with a jam box that blasted P-funk at full volume. Villagers who hadn't taken his advice from the night before and fled to the jungle had locked themselves in the local bar. Aside from what he believed must be an outhouse, it was the only building left standing.

  There was an idling chainsaw on the ground at the wooden doors to the Tiki-Tiger Lounge, and Anastasia had a crowbar in one hand and a big bottle of beer in the other. She wasn't wearing shoes, and her muddy feet were dancing to out-of-place urban beats and the rumble from the chainsaw engine. Whichever melody she loved more that instant, the music or the saw, her legs swayed in time and her ass shook. The whole evil package wrapped in jeans and a black T-shirt stained in what could only be the blood of innocents.

  Long black hair swayed about her back to his approach. She moved in this really great way, like the top part of her body wasn't attached to the lower. She was the Goth-kid at belly dancing class, and as her hair swung from one side to another, Billy got the flash of gold hoop earrings, which might have been the most out of place fashion enhancement he had ever seen a cold-blooded killer wear.

  She downed the beer and threw the now empty bottle at the barred doors of the Tiki bar. A shriek left her lips and mated with the breaking glass to form one continuous frightful war cry.

  Grown men screamed in terror from the other side of the barred door. Anastasia was having a good time, and she laughed at their fright.

  She looked good. Billy knew he really shouldn't be staring at her ass. He was rubbing his neck as he watched her, he realized that he had stopped and his full attention was on her. Billy pulled it together and jerked his hand from his neck like he'd just touched a hot stove.

  This action came fast enough so it ended before she looked back and saw him. Ana had been just about to swing the crowbar at the doors of the bar.

  “Billy Purgatory.” Her face lit up even more. “Want a beer?”

  IV

  It took some smooth talking, but Billy Purgatory convinced Anastasia to take a walk with him, thus saving the lives of whatever the population of Tiger Village still remained huddling in the locked Tiki bar.

  Billy considered that he had never walked through a jungle with a girl, for no reason other than to be walking with one. Of course, the jury was still out as to whether or not a vampire girl could actually be considered just a girl. Regardless, Billy Purgatory and Anastasia had more history than he and any other undead monster posing as an attractive female had, so even though he knew better, Billy actually found himself enjoying catching up with her.

  Billy, after all, hadn't seen Anastasia in years, if you didn't count nightmares.

  “So,” Anastasia broke the silence as they started up the rise beyond the village which led to the mountains. “Where's your camp?”

  “I'm not telling you where I'm sleeping, Ana.”

  “Well, it's either up this way or you're leading me purposely away from it so it's down by the water.”

  “You seriously believe that you're going to trick me into telling you where it is?”

  “Billy Purgatory, you know that if I really wanted to find it…”

  Billy looked over at her. “We're not kids anymore. I'm not as dense as that night on the train car.”

  “You were too cute back then. I miss little Billy. He was so trusting and got the most confused looks on his face when I'd do something that didn't make any sense to him.” Billy kind of noticed the sarcasm but didn't push the issue because right now, she was pretty cute herself.

  “How come you've chased after me my entire life, Anastasia? Don't tell me you didn't have anything better to do.”

  “Someone has always made me an offer to chase you, and I've always taken them up on it. Times are hard, and a girl's gotta be focused on her career.”

  “I have this theory…”

  Anastasia smiled. “Theory? Who taught you all those big words since last we chatted?”

  “My theory is that you've wanted to chase after me. You just use all the rest of that double-talk as an excuse.”

  Anastasia turned from walking slightly in front of Billy and continued moving facing him. “For whose benefit am I creating these wild excuses?”

  Billy stopped and Anastasia did too. “They're strictly to make yourself feel better about it all.”

  Anastasia put her hands on her hips. “About what all?”

  “All this. You want to chase me because you can't stop thinking about me.”

  Anastasia looked around and then back at Billy. “Oh my word, you've figured it out. I'm so embarrassed.”

  Billy crossed his arms as she began to laugh in his face.

  “It's not funny, Anastasia.”

  “Oh, it's more than funny.” She giggled like a schoolgirl. “It's delightfully egomaniacal.”

  “Maniacal-whatever, just admit it. Get it out in the open. You'll feel better.”

  “Say it again.” Anastasia began walking backwards once more. “I have to hear this one more time.”

  Billy was getting angry, and he knew that that was exactly what she wanted to happen because she liked it when he got angry and it would be so much easier for her to make fun and belittle him if he played into it.

  So Billy played into it. “You're completely into me.”

  Anastasia hopped up on a rock and spun around, perched as if on a throne looking down at Billy. “What if I am a little into you?”

  “There's no what if. You're completely into me but you try to ki
ll me?”

  “I suppose.” And she seemed sincere in her answer.

  “You suppose what? You have tried to kill me. That's the most wrong…”

  “Save it, Purgatory. Don't act like we're soul mates. I'm just the latest woman in your life. Flowing by like they all flow.”

  “But I don't want it to be like that, Ana.”

  “Really?” Anastasia seemed genuinely taken aback. “Then why is it like that?”

  “You make it like that, Anastasia. You're the one that makes this difficult.”

  She pressed her fingertips to her heart and looked down with a hurt expression. “Oh, I make it difficult? Have you ever once considered that you never gave me a chance? I was a very impressionable undead girl, and did you ever stop to consider that those circumstances might give me anxiety and slight trust issues?”

  “Say what?” Billy couldn't believe where this conversation was suddenly headed. “How about you not trying to bite me when we were kids? You think maybe that might do something… You know, trust whatever, to a guy? You know?”

  “No Billy Purgatory, I don't know.”

  “I thought you were the prettiest girl I'd ever seen when I first met you.”

  “That is so sweet. Thank you for that.”

  “You're welc - Wait. No, you're not welcome.”

  “So I am not, in fact, the prettiest girl you'd ever met now?”

  Billy pointed up at her on her rock. “No, that's not what I said.”

  “What are you saying again?”

  “Stop getting me off the subject, Anastasia. I'm trying to have a serious talk with you.”

  Anastasia ran her fingers through her hair, straightening it, and gave Billy half her attention as he continued to butcher the serious conversation, until she finally cut him off. “Are you trying to tell me something, Billy? About your feelings?”

  “No, I am not trying to…” Billy realized he was in dangerous territory. “Well, yeah, what if I was?”

  “Why are you even here in this Gods-forsaken place, Billy? Why are we having this conversation in the middle of a forgotten stretch of insignificant jungle?”

  Billy got serious again. “My mission brought me here.”

  “Don't assault me with your blind destiny fetish. I will not be some backdrop to your angst.”

  “Take the emo reference back.” Billy was pointing again.

  “Quit acting like one.”

  “No, it's you that acts like one. All dressed in black.”

  “You're dressed in black too.”

  “These are ass-kicking combat clothes. You're all hangman's daughter.”

  “I am in a T-shirt and jeans, not a funeral gown. Besides, I don't do bright or sunny.”

  “Yeah, well I do. I love bright and sunny.”

  “When's the last time you were out in the sunshine?”

  Billy had to think about that one. “Just the other…”

  “Year?”

  “I have a tan.”

  Anastasia jumped down from her rock. “Let's make out.”

  Billy blinked and his heart skipped a few beats, but he quickly recovered. “No way. I've got enough scars.”

  “They suit you.”

  “And puncture scars, thanks to you.”

  “Hold me.” Anastasia opened her arms. “I'll be all soft.”

  “Hell no! I'd just as soon wrap my arms around a…”

  “Cuddle with me, cuddle-bear.”

  Billy turned his back on her and started walking down the hill. She could eat the villagers before he'd listen to any more of her mouth. “I'm out of here, trick.”

  “You'd rather obsess from afar?”

  “I'm not listening to you anymore, Gothzilla.”

  She called down the hillside after him. “You're never going to find what you're searching for.”

  “Like you know!”

  “I know. It's not me you want.” Billy stopped in his tracks and cursed under his breath to be listening, but he was listening. Anastasia kept talking. “I know that you're finally right about something. It's that you want a family. That's why you keep searching for her. You think if you'd find your mother and father then the three of you could ignore reality.”

  Billy wasn't going to turn and let her see it on his face, that what she was saying actually made sense to him. “I have a mission.”

  “Your mission is a lie.” Anastasia took a few more steps down the hill towards him. Billy wasn't looking back, but he could hear the footsteps. “When are you ever going to grow up, Billy Purgatory?”

  “I'm out of here, Anastasia. Don't come looking for me.”

  “I don't have to. You always come back.”

  Anastasia watched him storm down the hillside back towards the village. She shook her head and sprang back and was once again sitting on her rock watching him fade into the darkness below. She knew he would double back around and take the western path back up the hillside towards his camp.

  She patiently waited until her sharp hearing picked up his footsteps taking that exact path, and gave him time to get a little higher up the rise before she sprang off her perch and follow him stealthily back up the hill.

  Anastasia's sisters didn't have what she had been looking for, but she was becoming more convinced that Billy had somehow stumbled upon it and had it in his possession.

  What else could have led him to this part of the forgotten world?

  V

  Billy Purgatory spent the first truly post-storm day on the Tiger Peninsula getting the ground below the cliffs ready. Billy couldn't find a soul in the village or the outlying farms. The villagers finally listened to him, or had become convinced that Anastasia was truly the horrible monster he'd tried his best to convince them she was. They had all run off to hide in the jungle on the other side of the mountain.

  Technically, it wasn't stealing, he supposed, if he would have paid them in gold coins he'd taken from Broom's camp for the things he raided from their abandoned homes that he needed.

  Billy had, of course, stolen said gold coins from Broom, but he didn't feel bad about that. Broom was beyond dead and didn't need gold coins where Billy had sent him sailing off to.

  Smacked with a hammer, shot in the throat, locked in a coffin, set on fire and then sunk to the bottom of Tiger Bay. Billy figured Broom was as dead as a guy could be.

  “Da.” Billy laughed to himself. “Dead.”

  Manual labor in the sunshine felt good. Billy had lots of preparations to make as the big day would probably come tomorrow if he could get everything finished in time. Sailing from Broom's black dome rock island to here had taken some time, and Billy had used that time wisely, for once in his life. Call it fate, or even chance, Billy had sense enough to look through Broom's books before he had gotten the Viking ship packed and ready to sail. Billy figured that the book that didn't have a cover on it was pretty important.

  It turned out that it was maybe the most important (and only) book Billy had ever read cover to cover.

  As it turned out, that book that belonged to the cover with the map to the island on it that Billy had gotten from the Captain was Broom's notebook. It hadn't been as hard to figure out as Billy was afraid it would be; a lot of it was honestly over Billy's head, but the part dealing with what he was curious about was pretty self-explanatory.

  Broom drew lots of pictures, which was a plus when you were Billy Purgatory.

  Billy didn't think about Anastasia too much that sunny day. He figured she had to be hiding in some cave or hole in the ground to wait out the sun, and he thanked the laws of vampire mechanics for that one. He knew she'd found his camp the night before, Billy could feel her hiding in the trees and watching him stoke the fire and wait out the night. Billy was surprised she didn't sneak into his camp, or even more surprised she didn't just walk in like she owned the place.

  Anastasia never showed her face, though. Regardless, Billy knew she was out there, plotting something. Billy knew now as he worked in the warm sunshine t
hat he had to get everything ready before night fell. Anastasia wouldn't stay patient for much longer; it just wasn't her style. She'd ruin all his plans if he let her.

  Billy vowed not to let her.

  His time that day in the field at the base of the cliffs had a lot to do with digging trenches and pouring kerosene. The chickens weren't hard to round up, but surprisingly, a goat was harder to find than he would have thought it would be on Tiger Peninsula.

  Billy finished on schedule, but had to double-time it up the hill-side and to the top of the cliff. He had a pretty massive something left to build up there, but he didn't need Broom's book for that part. Billy had been building that sort of something since he was old enough to nail two boards together. Never had he constructed a ramp of such a magnitude though, and one that would have so much riding on it.

  Billy finished the last little piece of the puzzle just before Anastasia would be waking up. He actually felt bad at times while he was stringing all that cable, but there was no way around it that Billy could see.

  Well, the way around it would be for Anastasia to listen to reason for once in her life. Billy was pretty sure that wasn't going to happen. Billy knew her and how she would react and what lengths she'd go to try and stop him.

  For once in his life, as he lit the fire in camp and was finally done with the days labors, Billy had thought of everything. There was only one rogue element still left to chance about this plan of his. That of course, was just how irrational and insane a plan it truly was.

  VI

  It was hot that night, and it was over four hours into darkness when Billy stood from the fire in his camp and walked to the trees. Billy stared into the dark branches all around and said rather quietly, “Why not show yourself and join me?”

  Billy received only a reply from frogs. They were far away, but still insanely loud. Their voices carry much better in the jungle than one would think, especially with all the trees in the way to mute their ribbits.

  Billy crossed his arms then and thought he might go for a cigar. He was actually a bit perplexed that she hadn't come walking out of the trees and shown herself, especially after he'd invited her to do so.