Ray of Light

by E. L. Todd

  “Good luck with that.” I moved from under him and got to the edge of the bed. I grabbed my clothes and started dressing myself.

  He sighed then sat up with his back to the headboard.

  I didn’t feel bad for him. “Just think about me when I’m gone.”

  “I definitely will.”

  I pulled my clothes on then tried to fix my hair.

  Ryker left the bed and pulled his sweatpants on. He remained shirtless, his chiseled and hard physique looking particularly nice as it glistened with sweat. He was practically pouting because he didn’t get what he wanted.

  “Not used to hearing no?”

  “Actually, no.”

  I grabbed my phone from the nightstand.

  Ryker came toward me, the determination in his eyes. “Why not? I want you and you want me.”

  “I told you,” I said. “It gets complicated. Feelings get involved and somebody gets hurt—probably me.”

  “Have you done this before?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

  He tilted his head slightly. “And we’re supposed to be just friends?”

  “Just friends?” I asked. “Friendship is a beautiful thing.”

  His eyes narrowed on my face.

  “If you really want a beautiful woman right this second, I know Jessie would take you in a heartbeat.” I felt like a pimp dishing out my friend.

  “I don’t want her.” He said it with such harshness it felt like sandpaper against my skin.

  “Why?” I blurted. “She’s gorgeous. That’s just not possible.”

  He held my gaze as he spoke. “I’ve seen better.”

  Well, he’s a freak then. “I should get going.” I stepped around him and left the bedroom.

  He followed behind me, his large feet hitting the hardwood floor.

  I got to the elevator doors. “Well, thanks for letting me crash here.”

  “You can crash here whenever you want.”

  And have to battle his kisses before I got out? I resisted him this time, but I didn’t think I could do it again.

  “Let me drive you home.”

  “No, it’s okay. I’ll just walk.”

  “I really don’t mind.”

  “Neither do I,” I said. “You know how committed I am to exercise.”

  He smiled at my reference. “If you ever want to sleep over with Safari, you’re welcome to bring him along.”

  “Ew, no,” I said. “He would get hair everywhere.”

  “I have a vacuum.”

  I needed to leave before my vagina started making the decisions. “Well, I’ll see you later.” I hit the button on the elevator and tried not to scream as the number on the top showed it was on the first floor.

  Ryker stared at me with darkly burning eyes, silently convincing me to change my mind.

  Speed it up, elevator.

  He stepped closer to me, those lips about to go in for the kill.

  No. No. No.

  I glanced at the elevator. It was only on the fourth floor.

  Ugh.

  Ryker moved his arm around my waist then pulled me into him.

  Just push him off. That’s it. Problem solved.

  Then he cupped my cheek. “Can I have one to go?”

  Fuck it.

  He pressed his lips to mine and kissed me slowly.

  I kissed him back and loved every second of it. My arms moved around his neck, and my tits brushed against his bare chest. The longing overtook me, and I felt my tongue dance with his. He was such a good kisser, and he constantly made me lose my train of thought. All I thought about was him, this kiss, our bodies—just us.

  The elevator beeped when it arrived.

  I pulled away but his hold was reluctant. He didn’t release me right away, having to force himself to do it.

  I stepped into the elevator so he couldn’t grab me again. Honestly, I was more worried about jumping back into his arms. “Just friends.”

  He stood with his hands on his hips, just staring at me.

  “You know, platonic friends.” I hit the lobby button and anxiously waited for the doors to close.

  His eyes narrowed on my face.

  “The kind that play board games and stuff.” Why the hell wouldn’t the damn doors close?

  He crossed his arms over his chest.

  “Like, we can go to ball games and stuff. Maybe share a hot dog. That’s it.” I hit the button again to speed things along. “Is your elevator broken or something?”

  He finally made his move and stepped toward the elevator.

  “No!” If he crossed the threshold, I’d be screwed. I hit the door close button and it shut just in time. Ryker was gone from my sight and the elevator started to descend.

  Thank god.

  ***

  When I came home, everyone was already there.

  Jessie and Kayden were sitting at the kitchen table, breakfast laid out on plates. They both turned to me and looked me up and down, noting my wrinkled clothes and messy bun.

  They both gave me that look.

  “Is that you?” Rex called from the living room.

  “Yeah, I survived.” I tossed my purse on the table and walked into the living room. The game was on the TV, and Zeke and Rex were already drinking beer and watching it.

  Zeke watched me with concern in his eyes. “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah.” Why wouldn’t it be?

  “So…” Rex made an awkward face. “Did you…” He rubbed his chin. “I mean…” He paused again. “Never mind. I have nothing to say.”

  “Nothing happened.” I answered his unspoken question. That wasn’t totally truthful because some stuff happened, but we didn’t sleep together. I knew that’s what both he and Zeke were wondering.

  Rex sighed in relief.

  Zeke did the same thing.

  Why was everyone so interested in my personal life? “Alright. I need breakfast.” I headed into the kitchen and made a plate of pancakes, bacon, and eggs. Then I sat at the table with the girls.

  Jessie was immediately on me. “Okay. What really happened?”

  Kayden leaned forward in anticipation.

  “We didn’t sleep together.” I poured the syrup on my food. “I’m surprised you didn’t hook up with him, Jessie. It seemed like you guys were having a good time at the concert.”

  “He wasn’t into me—at all.”

  “What?” I didn’t believe that for even a second.

  “Yeah,” she said. “He was nice to me and everything, but he wasn’t taking the bait. Then I mentioned that you thought he and I would really hit it off. You know, just in case he thought it would be weird to fool around with your friend. But it seemed to piss him off. He didn’t say anything else to me for the rest of the night.”

  My plate of breakfast was untouched. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

  She shrugged. “That’s what happened. He was all brooding and quiet. And he kept staring at you.”

  “He did,” Kayden said. “I saw him.”

  Why wouldn’t he sleep with Jessie? She was beautiful with a perfect body. And she basically placed herself on a dish for him.

  “When he took you to his place, nothing happened?” Jessie asked incredulously.

  “Well…some things happened.” I kept my voice quiet so the guys wouldn’t hear.

  “What?” Kayden pressed.

  “I tried to sleep on the couch, but he forced me into his bedroom. Then he took off my clothes and got into bed with me. We just snuggled through the night. But this morning, he was up in my grill. He tried to seduce me, but I managed to get out of there before I lost my resolve.”

  “Why didn’t you let him seduce you?” Jessie asked. “I don’t get it.”

  “I don’t want to be in that kind of relationship again,” I said. “I’ll fall for him, and then he’ll toss me aside when he’s done with me. It was fun as a one-night stand, but if we keep doing it, I’ll become a plaything of his. I’m not going
there again.”

  “I get it,” Kayden said.

  “He’s a player,” I said. “And once a player, always a player.”

  “If he’s a player, why didn’t he just sleep with me?” Jessie asked.

  “Uh…” I didn’t have an answer to that.

  “She has a good point,” Kayden said.

  “Maybe he already knew the sex was good, so he wanted to do it again?” I couldn’t read Ryker’s mind. He was pretty closed off most of the time, so I wasn’t going to bother. I didn’t have a pickaxe sharp enough.

  “I don’t know…” Jessie rested her chin in her palm. “Maybe he doesn’t want a fling.”

  “If that were the case, he would have asked me out.” And I wasn’t going to wait around for that.

  “That’s true,” Kayden said. “So what now?”

  “We’re just friends,” I said. “And we’re going to stay that way.”

  “You really think so?” Jessie asked.

  “I told him that’s what I wanted,” I said. “As long as I’m not alone with him, it shouldn’t be a problem.”

  Rex came into the kitchen to get a new beer. “What are you guys talking about?”

  I tried to think on my feet.

  “Our favorite romance movies,” Kayden blurted.

  He twisted the cap off the new bottle and cringed. “Ugh. That’s the most boring thing I’ve ever heard.” He walked back into the living room and joined Zeke.

  I smiled at her. “Good one.”

  “I was going to say tampons but that’s better,” Jessie said. “More believable.”

  I ate my pancakes then moved on to my eggs. “So, you guys have fun at the concert?”

  Chapter Six

  Rex

  “The bar should go here.” Zeke indicated the corner area of the bowling alley. “It’s visible to the entire building and it’s convenient.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I think that would work.”

  “I’d put the food court over there,” Zeke said. “Keep them separate. You don’t necessarily want the drinkers with the eaters. And if we have an arcade, we don’t want the kids to be mingling with the wrong crowd.”

  “True. Since it’s a 60s and 70s theme, should we sell weed?”

  “You would be asking to get caught, man.”

  He had a point. “True.”

  “Rae said she would get estimates from a few contractors. Once that’s done, we should be able to move forward.”

  “Sounds good.” I still felt guilty as hell taking anything from Zeke. “Are you sure you want to do this? Because if you change your mind, I’m not going to be upset at all.”

  He patted my shoulder. “Dude, don’t worry about it. Of course I want to help you out.”

  I would just get a loan from the bank, but my credit was terrible. “Well…thanks.”

  “You want to get wings and beer?”

  “Always.”

  ***

  We shared a bucket of fries and wings while we drank our beers. The TV in the corner showed the highlights of the game. The place was fairly quiet because people hadn’t gotten off work just yet.

  Zeke became particularly quiet, almost brooding. I’d known him for so long and spent so much time with that I could read him like a book. Something was on his mind. “Everything alright, man?”

  “Yeah.” He took a long drink of his beer.

  I kept eating. If he said nothing was wrong, then nothing was wrong. Rae always pestered me until she pulled it out of me. That wasn’t my tactic. “That concert was pretty cool. We should do that more often.”

  “Yeah…”

  I was pretty sure I didn’t do anything to piss him off, so whatever he was mad about had nothing to do with me. “I need a haircut. I think I’m going to have Jessie do my hair. She’ll probably do it for free, especially since I’m broke as hell.”

  “Good idea.”

  “I went to the library the other day and saw Kayden. The weirdest thing happened—”

  “There’s something I need to tell you, and I’ve been dreading it.”

  Okay…maybe there was something wrong. “What’s up?”

  He’d already finished two beers so he was obviously building up to this moment, hoping the alcohol would make it a little easier.

  I picked at my fries but didn’t eat them because I was anxious to hear whatever he had to say. Zeke and I hung out all the time, but we didn’t have many deep conversations. We stuck to sports, sports, and women. Heart-to-heart talks weren’t really our thing.

  Zeke remained silent, trying to figure out how to start.

  “Dude, it’s me. You can tell me anything.”

  “It’s different…”

  How different could it be?

  “You’re probably going to be upset with me. That’s why I’m hesitant.”

  “Well, I don’t get mad very often, so you’re probably exaggerating.”

  “Uh…I don’t think I am.”

  “It’s not like you slept with Rae or something.” I chuckled then ate a few fries.

  Zeke had a guilty look on his face.

  I stopped eating when I caught the look. A fry was about to enter my mouth when I halted. “You didn’t sleep with my sister, right?” Because I would rip his head off.

  “No, I didn’t.”

  I relaxed.

  “But it’s in that same category.”

  Now I was tense all over again.

  “I’ve had a thing for Rae for a while now. It comes and goes but…this time it’s not going away.” He held my gaze even though he was uncomfortable with the look. “I know this is weird, and I’ve debated talking to you about it…so now we’re here.”

  My eyes moved to the TV in the corner because I didn’t know what else to do. He just hit me with a slab of bricks. I took a second to recover before I looked at him again. “Why are you telling me this?” We swapped stories about chicks we were seeing, but that was just banter. This was different, and I wasn’t sure what his point was.

  “Rae is going to be swept off her feet eventually…hopefully not by Ryker. I need to make a move before it’s too late. So…I wanted to make sure you were cool with it before I did anything.”

  I nodded in understanding.

  “So…are you cool with it?” He was just as uncomfortable with this conversation as I was.

  “I don’t know.”

  Zeke stared at me, holding back his thoughts.

  “You guys have been friends for so long. If things didn’t work out, it would be really awkward.”

  “I know.”

  “Not just between you two. But between you and me, me and Rae, even with the girls. Things would never be the same.”

  He nodded in understanding.

  “Is that a risk you’re willing to take?”

  “I’ve thought about it a lot.”

  “And?”

  “I feel like if I do nothing, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”

  I rested my elbows on the table. “Then you must really like her.”

  “Sometimes I think she would be the perfect person for me. If I were going to settle down, it would be with her.”

  Damn. “I had no idea…”

  “I’m pretty good at hiding it.”

  “Yeah…you fooled me.”

  “So, is it okay if I go for her?”

  “You should really think about it first.”

  “I have,” he said. “A lot.”

  I rubbed the back of my neck. “Honestly, if things work out between you, she couldn’t find a better guy.”

  He nodded. “Thanks, man.”

  “But I really don’t think she feels the same way. I’ve never gotten that impression from her. You might tell her how you feel, she might reject you, and then it would always be awkward between you. You know what I mean?”

  “Yeah.”

  “So, you should think about that too.”

  “I don’t think she looks at me that way right now, but if I tell her
how I feel, she might see me in a different light. And maybe we can go from there.”

  “Yeah,” I said in agreement. “But there’s still a lot of risk involved.”

  “I know,” he said with a sigh. “But I don’t know what else to do. I’ve been with tons of other girls, but I keep coming back to her.”

  “When did this start?”

  “Probably three years ago.”

  My eyes widened.

  “I haven’t felt this way the entire time. It comes and goes. I date other girls and stop thinking about her. But the second I’m single again, she’s on my mind. I’m doomed to repeat the cycle forever.”

  “That’s intense.”

  “I know. I wish I could stop thinking about her altogether. But at the same time, I don’t.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest because I didn’t know what to say to that.

  “So, I think I’m going to tell her.”

  “Okay.” I had a feeling this was going to end badly, but I couldn’t tell Zeke what to do. “Good luck.”

  “Thanks,” he said. “And thanks for being understanding. I know this is weird for you.”

  “It is.” I wasn’t going to sugarcoat it. “When are you going to talk to her?”

  “I don’t know.” He eyed his beer. “I think I need to take some time to prepare for it. I don’t have a damn clue what I’m going to say.”

  “Just be honest. That tends to work well.”

  “Yeah.”

  “But be prepared for her rejection. Because it’s a really good possibility.”

  He nodded with a sad look on his face.

  “Do you want me to feel her out first? She told me I need to butt out of her personal life, but I can work around it.”

  “I don’t know. If she felt something for me, you’re the last person she would tell.”

  “True. What about the girls?”

  “Don’t tell them,” he said immediately. “They’re loyal to her. I don’t trust them with this.”

  “Okay.”

  “I know I need to say something soon. I’m afraid if I wait too long, she’ll find someone else.”

  “My sister is a catch, so that’s always a possibility.”

  “And I’m afraid that smug bastard might get into her head.”

  I assumed he was referring to Ryker. “She said there’s nothing going on. If that’s what she says, then it’s the truth.”