Out Of Bounds (Balls To The Walls)

by Lolah Lace

  “Lost her, she is not a cell phone. You act like this is a game.”

  “If you think life is a not a game, you are far less smarter than this office portrays.” Winners and losers, takers and givers. “You can bitch and moan about it but it doesn’t change the facts. Kari is my wife.”

  “You’re right. It doesn’t change that fact. You may have Kari but this baby changes everything.”

  “No really, it changes nothing.”

  “Huh, this is my ace in the hole.” He smirked.

  “That baby could be mine.” I was quick to tell him what I knew to be a fact. The baby could be mine.

  “You and I both know that is highly unlikely.” Jack sneered. He was so elated that he had something to hang over my head, something major to gut-pinch me with.

  “No it’s very likely. That’s a biological fact.”

  “More like wishful thinking.”

  “If it helps ease your little broken heart then so be it. This kid could be mine.”

  “You are a smug bastard.” His nostrils flared. This amused me. “Kari will see that smug bastard and she will leave you one day.”

  “That will never happen.” I chuckled. I had Kari’s mind not just her body. He would never understand how we were comingled into one person. Our love is epic.

  “You have no ethics and that is why you will fail in this bullshit marriage.”

  “I have no ethics? I told you about her sex, how good she was in the sack. I told you that in confidence and you just had to get a piece. But I am the one without ethics?” This motherfucker was delusional. Did he want pity from me?

  “Kari and I were engaged. We were going to get married. We lived together.”

  “Right, past tense, you were getting married. You did live together. Now you sound like you’re singing the blues.”

  “When the baby is born you will be the one singing the blues.”

  “I was in her every single day starting with November ninth. Every day, you remember that day? That’s the day you loss and I won. I had the honeymoon. Just so we’re clear. I fucked her on your wedding day. The baby could be mine.”

  I heard Jack inhale the surrounding air. “Well we will see.”

  “Yes we will. Jack you don’t scare me. I think you’re pathetic.”

  “I think you’re a jealous prick. You’re a thief. You had a wife. You couldn’t get a girl of your own so you steal another guy’s fiancée.”

  “You forgot she was mine first. You should have never gone behind me because you will always stay behind me. It doesn’t matter if you have ten babies with her. She will always love me. She will always want me. Kari will always be mine.”

  “You can have the cheating whore. I want my kid.”

  “Whore?” I chuckled. “I should put my fist through your face for that but I think a beating might make you feel better.”

  “Try it, please try it.”

  I was rattling his calm cool demeanor. “You shouldn’t be so bitter. There’s a supermodel trophy wife somewhere out there for you.”

  “Mason, if you’re not looking for a fight then why did you come here?”

  “I don’t know.” I half shrugged. “Maybe I wanted to see what Kari was giving up.” I glanced around the room and then back at Jack. “Not much from what I can see.”

  “So, have you gloated enough for one day?” He asked.

  “Yeah I think that was more than enough.”

  “One day I will be able to do the gloating.”

  I shrugged his bravado off. I stood and right then decided to let him have the last word.

  That is it and that is all. Why bother with this clown? I didn’t really feel any different. It was time for me to leave Jack alone. He was nothing but a fucking loser motherfucker. I had no business coming here. It didn’t change the facts. I still don’t know whose baby my wife is carrying.

  CHAPTER 5

  MASON

  With the marriage came a lot of obstacles. Maybe I should be more pessimistic but this union has brought joy and pain, joy for Kari and me. My marriage brings pain for Tess. I’m hoping the list ends at Tess but I can never be too certain. Certainty is a luxury that is fluctuating.

  I had to do damage control. I had a long list of people to talk to. I had been missing from my old life while I was trying to move forward with my new life. I hadn’t met Kari’s family yet. I hadn’t told my kids about my divorce from their mom. I had to stop hiding in the shadows and get my personal affairs in order. I had to man up and handle all the things that were difficult in my life. I had to get things sorted out in order to move on with the next period in my life.

  First on my list of people to speak with was my big sister Karen. I told RJ to keep my nuptials a secret. I could trust RJ. I wanted to share the news with Karen when the time was right. I wasn’t at all sure if that time was now but I make moves, moves don’t make me.

  It didn’t matter. This entire scenario was strange. This was an odd situation. I had lied to Karen. As soon as she sees me here in this restaurant with Kari she is going to flip. I was sure RJ hadn’t spilled the beans. I would have gotten a volatile phone call if Karen knew what was up.

  My wife had made a date to have dinner with Karen. They hadn’t talked since the wedding. Well the wedding that never happened, the wedding to Jack that never was, thanks to me. Kari had disappeared literally. I had her in my basement handcuffed to my bed. But I think we should leave the little item out of proper dinner conversation.

  Karen doesn’t know the full story behind what happened with Kari and Jack. With any luck she will never find out how low I sunk to win Kari back.

  Karen doesn’t know my role in the no show brideless wedding fiasco. As far as I’m concerned she only needs a portion of the information, a small portion, the potion that doesn’t make her punch me in the face. I don’t have regrets but I just wish I had moved faster. I wouldn’t be wondering if my wife is carrying another man’s baby if I would have picked up the pace.

  Kari and I sat at the table waiting for my sister. Karen was running late as usual. She had texted Kari and told her that much. It wasn’t a big deal to me. I needed the extra time to regroup and think. I had the extra time I needed so I could get my words together. I could relax long enough formulate my half-truths.

  I think Kari was anxious and worried about our big reveal. Under the circumstances I understand. I had a little nervous energy myself. I never really thought out the consequences of my actions. I just realized I had to have Kari. I knew my time was running out and I had to risk it all to get her to listen to me, to be with me, to love me as I always loved her.

  My wife told me how close she had grown to my sister in my absence. Kari told me Karen and I shared similar traits and being around Karen was almost like being around me. She said minus the penis of course. I missed Kari’s sense of humor when you were apart and when we were trying to be friendly. She was reserved. It was like I didn’t get the real woman. I got the woman that was trying to be a platonic friend. Having only a part of her made me feel sick, like I was eating half of a cookie. Seeing her like that made me only half full or either half empty. All I know is I was not whole.

  Kari was sitting across from me but she was clearly in another world. She was playing with her drink menu. I wasn’t sure why. It’s not like she could drink. Something in that drink menu was fascinating or either she was worried about how Karen would accept our news. I wasn’t worried that much. My sister didn’t have a choice but to accept it. Kari is my wife, deal with it or don’t.

  “Hey babe I’m going to take a leak.” I patted the menu out of her hands and smiled.

  “Okay.” Kari looked up at me as I stood. She forced a smile. She looked tired. I’m going to force her to rest. I wonder if Jack is the cause of her stress. Is he contacting her behind my back? No way, she would tell me. Or could it be me? Was I stressing her?

  I left the table and went to the men’s room. I took a few seconds more than needed splashing
water on my face. This place was warm. I glanced up in the clean walled mirror at myself. I was older. I think I’m starting to look my age. At the very least I have all my hair. That’s a good thing.

  Bad thoughts had a way of crashing in. When would I stop thinking about this? When would I stop thinking about the possibility that the baby Kari is carrying is probably Jack’s? This thought was disconcerting. This feeling was like a jab to the ribs delivered from Manny Pacquiao with a follow up jab from Oscar de la Hoya.

  I walked out the men’s room at a leisurely pace. I wasn’t in a rush to be on Karen’s shit list. I strolled from the men’s restroom toward the table. Shit, Karen had already arrived. She was sitting across from Kari. They were chatting it up like they were old friends. Now I realize that they shared a genuine friendship that had absolutely nothing to do with me. I small ping of jealousy ripped through me. I would have to share Kari with Karen. I would have to share my sister with my wife. Karen and I are close. This is only an issue if I make it one. I’m no attention whore. I can share my wife with my sister and vice versa.

  I’m not sure I want to tell my brother Mike about my marriage. He can hear it through the grapevine or a fucking six-second Vine video for all I care. Mike was opposed to my relationship with Kari from the start. He was a traitor to me. I will never forget the trauma and turmoil he caused in my marriage to Tess. I’m with Kari now so it shouldn’t matter but he was disloyal to me and I will never forgive him. Blood was not thicker thin his loose lips. He set that pitbull bitch of a wife of his on me.

  I love Kari and I’m sure I would have divorced Tess eventually. I needed time to figure things out. Mike robbed me of that time. Mike caused a chain of events that has lead Kari, Tess, my kids and I on a roller coaster without proper safety restraints.

  Time to get this over with. Time to face the music. This will be awkward. I’m hoping not too awkward.

  I bent to give my wide-eyed stunned sister a kiss on the cheek. She smelled like our Mom. Maybe I had imagined that scent. Weird. I took a seat and watched Karen’s eyes as they battered and bruised me.

  “Hi sis.” I couldn’t help but to grin.

  “Mason Lorenzo.” Her mouth hung slightly ajar. She was surprised to see me; confused too, I’m quite sure of it.

  “I love you Karen.” I decided to start off with endearments, butter her up.

  “What is going on?” Karen’s eyes landed on my new beautiful wife. “Kari.”

  “A few things.” Kari shyly added. She’s not shy. So why is she acting?

  “Obviously, what are the few friggin’ things?” Karen charged us with her mouth, which is better than being charged with the little baby prostitute gun she keeps in her purse.

  “Well Karen—” Kari decided to make a dramatic pause as she swiftly pulled her hand from under the table and displayed her wedding ring. “This.” Kari summed up everything in a single word and a single hand gesture. It reminded me of the first ring I had given to Kari. We were at her place in her kitchen. Her words were Bling! Bling! Bitches! If I remember that joyous day correctly.

  Karen’s eyes shot over to me and then back to Kari. “That’s a wedding ring.” Karen’s forehead wrinkled. I wasn’t the only one aging in the family.

  “Sis, don’t hurt yourself thinking to hard.” I joked. “We got married in Vegas.”

  “Get the fuck out of here.” Karen waved her hand out and shooed us away.

  I chuckled. “You know how much I love Kari. So we did it. I made her my ball and chain.”

  “Kari, seriously did you marry my friggin’ brother?”

  “Yes mam, I did.” Kari was grinning widely.

  “This is not a joke.” Karen snipped.

  “No really, I’m married to Mason.” Kari smiled and my sister grabbed Kari’s hand and inspected the diamond carefully.

  “You two are both friggin’crazy. I can’t friggin’ believe this.”

  “Karen, I’m crazy insane about Kari, Hannibal Lector crazy.”

  “Joe Carroll.” Kari joked.

  “Norman Bates.” I added.

  “Patrick Bateman.” Kari upped the ante and added a new guy.

  “Who the fuck is Patrick Bateman?” Karen asked.

  “Christian Bale, American Psycho. Baby that was a really good one.” I blushed.

  “I know. He’s sexy, has muscles and he loves eighties music just like you.” She beamed. I leaned over and give her a deep kiss on her lips. My wife knows me so well.

  Karen gawked in our direction in sheer amazement. “You two are friggin’ meant for each other. Two weird crazy people.”

  “Yeah, you know that. We are crazy about each other.”

  “So Kari you’re cool with this?” Karen asked my blushing bride and killed the mood.

  “Yeah she’s cool.” I answered.

  “Mason, I’m not talking to you.” She rolled her eyes at me and sneered.

  “Mrs. Palazzo, I love Mason. Everything is cool.”

  “Kari, welcome to the family. I’m glad you married my brother. He needs a kick in the ass from time to time. I hope you have your kick ass boots laced up tight.”

  “I do. I will keep Mason in line.” Kari reached over and squeezed my bicep. My cock got hard. Her touch does that to me.

  “I’m happy you’re back safe and sound.” Karen glared at me but was talking to my new wife.

  “I’m okay. I needed time to think.” Kari said.

  Karen pressed her lips together. “Mason helped you to think.”

  “Yes.” Kari smiled widely and looked over at me. “I love your brother.”

  “He didn’t brainwash you?”

  “Yes of course he did.” Kari giggled. “I’m a part of his cult. I belong to the church of Mason Rizza and Latter Day Saintly Witnesses.”

  “I see, so finally I get a normal sister-in-law.”

  “You get a sister-in-law and a friend.” My wife said exactly what my sister needed to hear.

  Karen raised Kari’s hand and she took a closer look at the huge rock. “This is real nice.”

  “Mason was very generous when he picked this ring.”

  “Yes obviously.” Karen become silent as she took it all in. I couldn’t figure out what she was thinking but I’m sure she thought we were crazy.

  “Tomorrow I meet my new mother-in-law.” I was trying to keep the conversation going

  “He’s never met your mother and now you’re married?”

  “She’s seen him at the ball park.” Kari added, I’m sure to make me feel better.

  “Yeah we shared a few sentences but that was it.” Mrs. Fenderson is going to love me. Everybody loves me.

  “Mason, Mason Mason, does Tess know about this?” Karen waved her hand across the table.

  Just then our waitress appeared. She was a gangly young black girl that resembled Venus Williams. She was new. I could tell. She seemed a little nervous and unsure of herself.

  We all placed our orders and waited for Venus to scurry away. I opted out of ordering alcohol but my sister ordered a margarita. She didn’t seem to notice that we had elected against ordering booze. I think she was distracted by the rock on Kari’s finger and our joyous news.

  “So, does Tess know?” Karen was eager to hear the gossip.

  “Yeah. I told Tess.”

  “Did she friggin’ flip?” Karen leaned into the table.

  “Ah, she wasn’t happy but its just reality.”

  “No shit. I can’t even believe it so Tess must be shocked as shit.”

  “Well probably but we’re divorced so I mean this was going to happen eventually. People move on with their lives. You and your husband have an understanding so everything runs smoothly. You have a love that’s been going strong for years.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Exactly what I said.”

  Karen squinted her icy blue eyes at me. “Kari did Mason tell you I’m bisexual.”

  Jesus sis. “Karen I never told her that.�
��

  “Well you were just talking in your friggin’ Rizza riddles so I assumed you had blabbed.”

  “No, Karen I’m not the blabbermouth brother. I never said a word.” I looked for my wife to back me up. “Kari did I tell you?”

  “No he didn’t. This is the first time I’m hearing about it.”

  “Karen Christ, what makes you think I go around discussing your sexuality?”

  “Mason please spare me. You have a vicious mouth and you say things to hurt people all the time. You’re a hot head, Mafia Mason.” Karen smacked her lips at me.

  “That’s the old Mason. I’m trying to be a better man.” Being a better man is a hard thing to do. It’s hard as my cock when I see Kari step out the shower but I am trying. I’m a work in progress. I didn’t smash Jack’s face in when I went to see him and I think that should count for something.

  “I have to see this new Mason.”

  “Karen honestly I don’t think Kari cares that your husband let’s you sleep with girls.”

  “Mason you are still a smart ass.”

  “Seriously no one cares that you’re a carpet muncher, a muff diver, a vagitarian.”

  “You are such an ass.”

  I turned to Kari. “It’s a little family secret. Mike doesn’t know, RJ doesn’t know but I know. Kari can keep a secret, right Kari?” I smiled at my wife and she returned it with a smile that rivaled mine.

  My wife is beautiful. I hit the jackpot with her. Maybe not the jackpot, I hate to use the word jack. I have to erase the word jack from my dialect. I hit the lottery when I landed such a fine woman. I bent over and give Kari a kiss on this lips that she wholly accepted. Her lips tasted sweet and fruity, like raspberry chapstick. I love this woman.

  Karen cleared her throat and snapped me back into the reality that Kari and I weren’t alone. We were in a crowded restaurant.

  “Sorry we’re newlyweds.” I replied to my sis.

  “You guys are supposed to be together.”

  “We are.” I stated what I knew to be true.

  “Mason I’m glad you finally found someone that makes you happy. I know you tried to hide it but I know you have been unhappy for years. It’s nice to see you two finally together.”