by Lila Lacroix
* * *
“So you actually have a date!” Maria squealed, sounding delighted. She had her feet tucked under the edge of the couch, and her head pillowed on a cushion. Tina was lying on the floor, stretched out and happy.
“Well,” Tina said. “It's more of a-”
“It's a date,” Maria said, turning her head to glare at Tina. “Don't ruin this for me, Teen. You know you need this.”
“I think you're way more invested in my dating life than I am,” Tina told her, though she smiled to soften the blow. “He works near the hospital and we kept running in to each other.”
Maria rolled her eyes. “How many times did you 'keep running into each other' before you actually decided that the time was right to go on a date with him?”
“I don't know,” Tina admitted.
It was definitely more than a couple of times. Duncan worked at the gym on the same avenue as the hospital, and though Tina didn't go there herself, she had seen Duncan around more than once, occasionally waiting at the same bus stop. He was attractive, there was no denying that, and Tina was determined to prove to herself – and to everyone else – that she was definitely over Ryan and Duncan was the best way to go about that. Duncan was shy and slightly less outgoing than Ryan had been, but he was kind and smiled a lot, and he had asked Tina out for a drink. She had been more than ready to say no, but berating herself internally, decided she was going to go out – and get over Ryan once and for all.
“Anyway,” Tina said, rolling over onto her front and reaching for her glass of wine. “it doesn't matter, it just matters that I am going on a date with him.”
Maria nodded, kicking her legs down onto the floor. “That's true. I also want to know everything about it.”
“Even if I run out of the restaurant, determined not to get over Ryan?” Tina said, almost to herself.
Maria scowled at her. Contrary to what Tina had believed, Maria seemed almost determined to think of Ryan as the bad guy, even when it was Tina who was confused and unsure about him. “That's not going to happen. You need to get over that loser and get back on that dating bike.”
Tina snorted. “Start riding again, yeah?”
Maria started laughing, falling back against the pile of pillows on the couch. “You know it.”
Tina felt more at peace than she had in a long time, and she knew that Maria was a big part of this.
“Duncan is definitely going to help with this.”
“Tell me more about this dishy Duncan,” Maria said, resting her chin on her hand.
Tina grinned. “What's to tell? He's dishy and kind and definitely wants to date me.”
Maria wiggled her eyebrows. “Yeah, he definitely sounds like a dream.”
“So did Ryan, remember?” Tina said. “Not all men that are handsome and sound like a “dream are actually a dream.”
“Damn, you are determined to ruin this for me, aren't you?”
“No,” Tina said, drawing out the word. “I have no idea what you're talking about.”
Maria tossed a pillow at Tina's face. “You do, shut up.”
Laughing, Tina pushed the pillow onto the floor. “I'll date dishy Duncan and tell you all about it.”
“Good.” Maria sat up, reaching for the wine bottle sitting on the side table. It was already half-empty, and Tina had a feeling that she would be breaking out a second bottle before the end of the night. “Now. Let's stop talking about guys, and finish this movie.”
Tina nodded, rearranging the pillows on the floor. “That's definitely an idea that I can get behind.”
She grabbed the remote from the floor and pushed all thoughts of Duncan, Ryan and every other guy she’d ever been involved with from her mind. Now was the time for relaxing with Maria, not figuring out which guy was actually going to treat her right for a change, instead of leaving her confused and angry about what she should do.
* * *
Duncan was definitely not what Tina thought he would be.
He was handsome and still as kind as he was when she would run into him, but it didn't take long for her to realise that he was self-obsessed. He spent most of the starter talking about himself, and she was forced to put on a brave face and nod and smile where appropriate. She wanted to come up with some reason to walk out, but she had been raised polite and she was not about to be rude just because somebody wanted to focus more on themselves than on her. She picked at the napkin, tucking her hand behind her neck. Duncan finally tapered off and then tapped the table, smiling sheepishly.
“Sorry. I guess I've been talking about myself a lot, huh?”
Tina gave him a brief smile. “It's okay. It's interesting.”
Duncan nodded, and then looked a little uncomfortable. “So. Do you like working at the hospital?”
Thankful for something to talk about, Tina segued into her life at the hospital and how much she loved the children. She wasn't so wrapped up in her story, though, that she couldn't see the look of distraction on Duncan's face, or how he spent more time staring around the restaurant than he did at least pretending to be interested in what she was saying. Tina sighed. She was annoyed that she was trying so hard to get back on the metaphorical dating horse, but everything just seemed to be telling her not to bother. She sat back in her chair, playing with the fork and waiting for Duncan to actually realise he was on a date with her.
“You know,” she said eventually. “I think we should just call this quits.”
Duncan gave her a confused look. “You're not enjoying yourself?”
“Not really,” she admitted. “I don't know why you asked me out here, but I'm trying to get over someone, and I can tell that your heart isn't in this, so I think it would be better if we just went our own ways?”
Looking a little put-out, Duncan frowned. “I thought we were having a good time?”
Tina scowled, tired of guys thinking she didn't know what was happening. “You've spent more time staring at other women in this restaurant than at the one you came with!”
Duncan's anger was obvious, but Tina wasn't a delicate flower who didn't know how to stand up for herself. “What are you saying?”
Tina grabbed her bag from the table and gave Duncan a tight smile. “Thank you for the offer, but I think it would be best for both of us if we didn't continue this charade. I hope you find someone who appreciates you, but I don't think that it's me.”
She pushed back her chair and left Duncan sitting at the table. Instead of feeling embarrassed and sad, she actually felt proud of herself and smiled all the way out of the restaurant. That didn't mean she wasn't going to call Maria and demand she come over and help her wallow in self-pity, but she was still happy with the outcome of the night – well, most of it. She did want to find someone who would appreciate her for her, but that would come in time. For now, she didn't need to be led along by some loser who didn't know when he had a good thing. Where on earth did this self confidence come from? Either way, I like it Tina thought to herself as she pushed the doors open, feeling like a new woman.
She waited outside of the restaurant, shrugging into her jacket. She contemplated calling a taxi to take her home, but didn’t want that to be the end to her night. She knew that there were some good nightclubs and bars around, and decided to just bite the bullet and go to one of those instead. Maybe there would be someone there who could entertain her until she was ready to go home. They would at least take her mind off of the disaster that was her love life for at least an hour or two.
Making her way down the street, she snapped off a text to Maria letting her know that things were awful, but that she would be in a bar if she decided to come out and join Maria in her self-pity. Maria immediately sent back an angry face. Let me know if you need me to beat him for you. Working 2nite, sorry
It wasn’t a surprise, but Tina could still have fun – would still have fun.
* * *
Tina's doorbell was ringing. She didn't want to wake up and answer it, head pounding from the night before, so s
he buried her head under her pillow and refused to deal with the morning. Unfortunately for her, as soon as the doorbell stopped, her phone started to ring on the night stand.
“What?” She snapped, not bothering to look at the caller ID.
“Girl, you better get here and answer this door.”
Tina groaned. “Maria, go away.”
“I'm here to help you wallow,” Maria said. Tina knew that she wasn't going to go away.
“Fine,” she said, pushing back the duvet and swinging her legs onto the floor. She caught sight of herself in the mirror and groaned. Not only was her life a disaster, but so was her hair. “I hate you.”
“Sure you do, sunshine.” Maria sounded way too cheerful for someone that was disturbing Tina's much-needed sleep, but she was hopefully bringing something Tina could keep down, and a movie that would help with her disastrous love life.
Hanging up the phone, Tina padded out into the hallway and unlatched the door, pulling it open. Maria gave her an appraising look, which Tina promptly ignored, and then pushed her way into the house. “How do you constantly manage to find the assholes of the world?”
“Maybe I'm an asshole magnet,” Tina said dryly, shutting the door and following Maria back into the living room. “That, or I just have the worst luck in the world.”
“Probably a combination of both,” Maria said, unsympathetically.
Rolling her eyes, Tina went into the kitchen to start up the coffee machine. She would need at least two cups before she was functional enough to deal with whatever it was the world decided to throw at her next. Which, apparently, was Maria.
“So,” Maria started. “How much of a dick was Duncan?”
Tina groaned. “The worst kind. He spent about half an hour talking about himself, and then when it came to asking about me, he wasn't actually interested in the answer. Just started checking out the other girls in the room.”
“Ew,” Maria agreed. “Those are the worst kind. At least pretend to be interested.”
“I told him exactly what I thought about it,” Tina said, smiling as she remembered the look on Duncan's face. “He didn't like that too much.”
Maria burst out laughing. “I can imagine! Man, I would have paid to see that face.”
“I should have taken a picture.” Tina finally managed to coax the coffee machine to life and fixed her first cup of coffee. “You want one?”
“Yeah, please.” Maria looked as exhausted as Tina felt. She'd been working a lot lately, and when she wasn't working, she was around at Tina's, saving her from herself. Tina really did owe her a lot, and she knew it.
“Thanks,” Tina said, feeling as though she should at least say something about it. “You don't have to keep coming around her and making me feel better.”
“Shut up,” Maria replied, scowling. “You're my best friend, and if I don't come her and help you out, who else will?”
“My mother, probably,” Tina said, making a face.
Maria laughed. “We all know how sympathetic she would be to your plight.”
Tina could well imagine her mother's expression – and what she would have to say – about Tina's choices in the boyfriend department. She was still sure that Tina had made a big mistake letting Ryan go, and while it was all Tina could do not to think the same, she was the one that had to get on with her life, and come to terms with the choices that she had made. It was the reason she chose to invite Maria around instead of calling her mother; at least with Maria she could be sure that she would get some sympathy and some encouragement to move on with her life. Her mother would just constantly dwell on the past.
“So what did you bring for us to watch this time?”
Maria dug through the bag brandishing a couple of movies that Tina knew would help to distract her from the monumental mistakes she had been making as of late. “These do?”
“Uh-huh,” Tina agreed. “Now shift over on that couch and let's get this done.”
Maria pulled a face but acquiesced, shifting on the couch and letting Tina sit down beside her. The movies were pretty awful, but hilarious enough that Tina was crying with laughter by the end of the second one, mostly because Maria was an expert by now at knowing just the right way of mocking something that would leave Tina in stitches. She was simultaneously the worst and best friend in the whole wide world, and Tina didn't know what she would do without her.
Tina had tired avoiding her mother for as long as possible, but there was no way she could keep doing it forever. She would just have to man up and tell her mom what was going on in her life, even if she would rather do anything else in the world. She knew her mother meant well, but it was just so mentally exhausting, having to deal with those phone calls. With a heavy sigh, she took the armchair closest to the radiator, and tucked her feet underneath her. Detritus from her and Maria's day of terrible movie watching was still scattered all over the couch, and Tina couldn't bring herself to clean it up right now. She was going to start afresh tomorrow, and while that meant actually cleaning at some point, it also meant that she was going to have to call her mother and actually tell her what was going on.
“Hey mom,” she said, when she heard the handset being picked up.
Her mom made a pleased sound. “Tina! It's been a while.”
Tina winced and felt the familiar pinch of guilt in her chest but pushed it away. It was always a double-edged sword talking to her mother about anything dating-life related, but sometimes you just needed to hear from your mom once in a while. “I know, mom, I'm sorry. I've been busy.”
“The hospital is working you so hard,” her mother said, tone laden with disapproval and worry.
“It's okay,” Tina reassured her. “I can always say no if I'm tired, mom, you know that.” She took a deep breath. “But that's not why I'm calling.”
“Oh?”
Tina ran a hand over her eyes. “So I went on a date the other night.”
“Tina!” This time there was no mistaking the happiness in her mother's voice. “I'm so pleased. I was worried after Ryan that you wouldn't date for months, but I'm so pleased to hear you're doing so.”
Rolling her eyes, Tina moved the phone to her other ear. “It wouldn't be a tragedy if I didn't date for months.”
Her mother made a fresutrated sound. “You know what I mean! I don't like to think of anyone hurting my daughter, much less men who don't know when they have a good thing. So tell me about this man?”
Touched by the words, and unable to keep from talking about it now that she had started, Tina described the disaster of a date and was somewhat reassured by her mother's outrage.
“Why would he even bother to take you out on a date if he's not going to ask about you? What kind of men are hanging out at that bus stop?”
Tina couldn't help it; she burst out laughing. “Mom! Not everyone who hangs out at that bus stop are doing to be like him! He was just a special brand of -”
“-Rude?”
Tina nodded, even though she knew her mother couldn't see it. “That's one word that could be used, I suppose. We'll go with rude.”
“Good,” Tina's mom said, dryly. “You know how I feel about language.”
Proof, then, that Tina's mom would definitely have called Duncan some choice words if she had the penchant for using them. “Well, Maria came around today and we watched terrible movies and mocked them.”
Tina's mom made a humming noise. “I'm glad you have friends around, sweetheart.” There was a long pause. “Have you heard from Ryan at all?”
Tina frowned. “Why does that matter?”
“I just don't understand why he would suddenly up and leave you, darling. It makes no sense.”
So Tina might not have told her mom the truth, but she was already plagued with disapproval for most of her dating life, and Tina wasn't about to admit that the hospital her mother was afraid was running her daughter into the ground was also the reason she had broken up with, and Tina was quoting, “The best thing that had ever happene
d to Tina.”
Tina didn't want to think about how true that might be, so deflecting and ignoring was the best course of action right now. “I know it doesn't, mom, but whatever else happens, I have to deal with it. Maybe dating Duncan wasn't the best choice, but I can concentrate on the hospital now, and then if I ever feel like getting back on the dating horse that will come in time.”
Her mother changed the subject, which Tina was grateful for, even though she knew it would only be a matter of time before her mother was calling to talk about why she wasn't dating, or when she was going to find someone to take out. Whatever, for now Tina was willing to listen to her mother wax lyrical about whatever she was doing and how the family was, right down to extended cousins Tina had never even heard of, and hope that the interrogating phone calls would come sometimes in the future when Tina was happier and could answer them with more than just forced cheer.
It was a few days later when the letter came in the mail. Tina scowled down at the college letterhead and opened it with a little trepidation. She could have guessed the contents, and finding out that it was from her college about the debts she had accumulated while working her way through college, she knew that she would have to make an appointment with the bank on her next day off.
It was probably going to take a while to pay them off, but she was more than willing to do so; college had given her the dream job, and she was all about paying back her debts. She had work for the next couple of days, so she called the bank and asked for an appointment at the end of week. They were more than willing to accommodate her, so Tina put it to the back of her mind and didn't think too much on it.
That Friday she woke up with a weird feeling; she couldn't put her finger on it, but something about the day felt off and weird. Shrugging it off, she dressed up warm and got ready to leave the apartment for the bank. Putting all of her paperwork and information about her bank accounts and college into her purse, she shouldered it and grabbed her keys and phone from the side table.
For the bus ride over, she spent time looking over some of her accounts, making sure that everything was in order. There was a still a sense that something about the day was going to go terribly wrong, but she didn't know what it was. She didn't think she had forgotten anyone's birthday, or that she was forgetting a meeting that she was due to attend. She didn't quite know how to shake it off completely, so she tried to think about other things. The hospital was fairly busy at the moment, so she ran through a mental list of her patients, and ended up smiling and laughing to herself about some of the children she currently had on the ward. They were characters, that was for sure, and it was always difficult when their procedures didn't go the right way, and even the other way, when they were finally done with their injuries and be discharged – Tina always missed them, especially the ones who were loud and more visible than some of the others.
