P G Wodehouse - Little Nugget

by Little Nugget

  'Oh!' she said at last. Her voice quivered. She was clutching at her self-control as it slipped from her. 'Oh! And what is my daughter to you, Mr Burns!'

  'A great friend.'

  'And I suppose you think it friendly to try to spoil her chances?'

  'If Mr Gifford is a sample of them--yes.'

  'What do you mean?'

  She choked.

  'I see. I understand. I am going to put a stop to this once and for all. Do you hear? I have noticed it for a long time. Because I have given you the run of the house, and allowed you to come in and out as you pleased, like a tame cat, you presume--'

  'Presume--' I prompted.

  'You come here and stand in Cynthia's way. You trade on the fact that you have known us all this time to monopolize her attention. You spoil her chances. You--'

  The invaluable Parker entered to say that the cab was at the door.

  We drove to the Fletchers' house in silence. The spell had been broken. Neither of us could recapture that first, fine, careless rapture which had carried us through the opening stages of the conflict, and discussion of the subject on a less exalted plane was impossible. It was that blessed period of calm, the rest between rounds, and we observed it to the full.

  When I reached the ballroom a waltz was just finishing. Cynthia, a statue in black, was dancing with Tanky Gifford. They were opposite me when the music stopped, and she caught sight of me over his shoulder.

  She disengaged herself and moved quickly towards me.

  'Take me away,' she said under her breath. 'Anywhere. Quick.'

  It was no time to consider the etiquette of the ballroom. Tanky, startled at his sudden loneliness, seemed by his expression to be endeavouring to bring his mind to bear on the matter. A couple making for the door cut us off from him, and following them, we passed out.

  Neither of us spoke till we had reached the little room where I had meditated.

  She sat down. She was looking pale and tired.

  'Oh, dear!' she said.

  I understood. I seemed to see that journey in the cab, those dances, those terrible between-dances...

  It was very sudden.

  I took her hand. She turned to me with a tired smile. There were tears in her eyes...

  I heard myself speaking...

  She was looking at me, her eyes shining. All the weariness seemed to have gone out of them.

  I looked at her.

  There was something missing. I had felt it when I was speaking. To me my voice had had no ring of conviction. And then I saw what it was. There was no mystery. We knew each other too well. Friendship kills love.

  She put my thought into words.

  'We have always been brother and sister,' she said doubtfully.

  'Till tonight.'

  'You have changed tonight? You really want me?'

  Did I? I tried to put the question to myself and answer it honestly. Yes, in a sense, I had changed tonight. There was an added appreciation of her fineness, a quickening of that blend of admiration and pity which I had always felt for her. I wanted with all my heart to help her, to take her away from her dreadful surroundings, to make her happy. But did I want her in the sense in which she had used the word? Did I want her as I had wanted Audrey Blake? I winced away from the question. Audrey belonged to the dead past, but it hurt to think of her.

  Was it merely because I was five years older now than when I had wanted Audrey that the fire had gone out of me?

  I shut my mind against my doubts.

  'I have changed tonight,' I said.

  And I bent down and kissed her.

  I was conscious of being defiant against somebody. And then I knew that the somebody was myself.

  I poured myself out a cup of hot coffee from the flask which Smith, my man, had filled against my return. It put life into me. The oppression lifted.

  And yet there remained something that made for uneasiness, a sort of foreboding at the back of my mind.

  I had taken a step in the dark, and I was afraid for Cynthia. I had undertaken to give her happiness. Was I certain that I could succeed? The glow of chivalry had left me, and I began to doubt.

  Audrey had taken from me something that I could not recover--poetry was as near as I could get to a definition of it. Yes, poetry. With Cynthia my feet would always be on the solid earth. To the end of the chapter we should be friends and nothing more.

  I found myself pitying Cynthia intensely. I saw her future a series of years of intolerable dullness. She was too good to be tied for life to a battered hulk like myself.

  I drank more coffee and my mood changed. Even in the grey of a winter morning a man of thirty, in excellent health, cannot pose to himself for long as a piece of human junk, especially if he comforts himself with hot coffee.

  My mind resumed its balance. I laughed at myself as a sentimental fraud. Of course I could make her happy. No man and woman had ever been more admirably suited to each other. As for that first disaster, which I had been magnifying into a life-tragedy, what of it? An incident of my boyhood. A ridiculous episode which--I rose with the intention of doing so at once--I should now proceed to eliminate from my life.

  I went quickly to my desk, unlocked it, and took out a photograph.

  And then--undoubtedly four o'clock in the morning is no time for a man to try to be single-minded and decisive--I wavered. I had intended to tear the thing in pieces without a glance, and fling it into the wastepaper-basket. But I took the glance and I hesitated.

  The girl in the photograph was small and slight, and she looked straight out of the picture with large eyes that met and challenged mine. How well I remembered them, those Irish-blue eyes under their expressive, rather heavy brows. How exactly the photographer had caught that half-wistful, half-impudent look, the chin tilted, the mouth curving into a smile.

  In a wave all my doubts had surged back upon me. Was this mere sentimentalism, a four-in-the-morning tribute to the pathos of the flying years, or did she really fill my soul and stand guard over it so that no successor could enter in and usurp her place?

  I had no answer, unless the fact that I replaced the photograph in its drawer was one. I felt that this thing could not be decided now. It was more difficult than I had thought.

  All my gloom had returned by the time I was in bed. Hours seemed to pass while I tossed restlessly aching for sleep.

  When I woke my last coherent thought was still clear in my mind. It was a passionate vow that, come what might, if those Irish eyes were to haunt me till my death, I would play the game loyally with Cynthia.

  II

  The telephone bell rang just as I was getting ready to call at Marlow Square and inform Mrs Drassilis of the position of affairs. Cynthia, I imagined, would have broken the news already, which would mitigate the embarrassment of the interview to some extent; but the recollection of my last night's encounter with Mrs Drassilis prevented me from looking forward with any joy to the prospect of meeting her again.

  Cynthia's voice greeted me as I unhooked the receiver.

  'Hullo, Peter! Is that you? I want you to come round here at once.'

  'I was just starting,' I said.

  'I don't mean Marlow Square. I'm not there. I'm at the Guelph. Ask for Mrs Ford's suite. It's very important. I'll tell you all about it when you get here. Come as soon as you can.'

  My rooms were conveniently situated for visits to the Hotel Guelph. A walk of a couple of minutes took me there. Mrs Ford's suite was on the third floor. I rang the bell and Cynthia opened the door to me.

  'Come in,' she said. 'You're a dear to be so quick.'

  'My rooms are only just round the corner.' She shut the door, and for the first time we looked at one another. I could not say that I was nervous, but there was certainly, to me, a something strange in the atmosphere. Last night seemed a long way off and somehow a little unreal. I suppose I must have shown this in my manner, for she suddenly broke what had amounted to a distinct pause by giving a little laugh. 'Peter,' she
said, 'you're embarrassed.' I denied the charge warmly, but without real conviction. I was embarrassed. 'Then you ought to be,' she said. 'Last night, when I was looking my very best in a lovely dress, you asked me to marry you. Now you see me again in cold blood, and you're wondering how you can back out of it without hurting my feelings.'

  I smiled. She did not. I ceased to smile. She was looking at me in a very peculiar manner.

  'Peter,' she said, 'are you sure?'

  'My dear old Cynthia,' I said, 'what's the matter with you?'

  'You are sure?' she persisted.

  'Absolutely, entirely sure.' I had a vision of two large eyes looking at me out of a photograph. It came and went in a flash.

  I kissed Cynthia.

  'What quantities of hair you have,' I said. 'It's a shame to cover it up.' She was not responsive. 'You're in a very queer mood today, Cynthia,' I went on. 'What's the matter?'

  'I've been thinking.'

  'Out with it. Something has gone wrong.' An idea flashed upon me. 'Er--has your mother--is your mother very angry about--'

  'Mother's delighted. She always liked you, Peter.'

  I had the self-restraint to check a grin.

  'Then what is it?' I said. 'Tired after the dance?'

  'Nothing as simple as that.'

  'Tell me.'

  'It's so difficult to put it into words.'

  'Try.'

  She was playing with the papers on the table, her face turned away. For a moment she did not speak.

  'I've been worrying myself, Peter,' she said at last. 'You are so chivalrous and unselfish. You're quixotic. It's that that is troubling me. Are you marrying me just because you're sorry for me? Don't speak. I can tell you now if you will just let me say straight out what's in my mind. We have known each other for two years now. You know all about me. You know how--how unhappy I am at home. Are you marrying me just because you pity me and want to take me out of all that?'

  'My dear girl!'

  'You haven't answered my question.'

  'I answered it two minutes ago when you asked me if--'

  'You do love me?'

  'Yes.'

  All this time she had been keeping her face averted, but now she turned and looked into my eyes with an abrupt intensity which, I confess, startled me. Her words startled me more.

  'Peter, do you love me as much as you loved Audrey Blake?'

  In the instant which divided her words from my reply my mind flew hither and thither, trying to recall an occasion when I could have mentioned Audrey to her. I was convinced that I had not done so. I never mentioned Audrey to anyone.

  There is a grain of superstition in the most level-headed man. I am not particularly level-headed, and I have more than a grain in me. I was shaken. Ever since I had asked Cynthia to marry me, it seemed as if the ghost of Audrey had come back into my life.

  'Good Lord!' I cried. 'What do you know of Audrey Blake?'

  She turned her face away again.

  'Her name seems to affect you very strongly,' she said quietly.

  I recovered myself.

  'If you ask an old soldier,' I said, 'he will tell you that a wound, long after it has healed, is apt to give you an occasional twinge.'

  'Not if it has really healed.'

  'Yes, when it has really healed--when you can hardly remember how you were fool enough to get it.'

  She said nothing.

  'How did you hear about--it?' I asked.

  'When I first met you, or soon after, a friend of yours--we happened to be talking about you--told me that you had been engaged to be married to a girl named Audrey Blake. He was to have been your best man, he said, but one day you wrote and told him there would be no wedding, and then you disappeared; and nobody saw you again for three years.'

  'Yes,' I said: 'that is all quite true.'

  'It seems to have been a serious affair, Peter. I mean--the sort of thing a man would find it hard to forget.'

  I tried to smile, but I knew that I was not doing it well. It was hurting me extraordinarily, this discussion of Audrey.

  'A man would find it almost impossible,' I said, 'unless he had a remarkably poor memory.'

  'I didn't mean that. You know what I mean by forget.'

  'Yes,' I said, 'I do.'

  She came quickly to me and took me by the shoulders, looking into my face.

  'Peter, can you honestly say you have forgotten her--in the sense I mean?'

  'Yes,' I said.

  Again that feeling swept over me--that curious sensation of being defiant against myself.

  'She does not stand between us?'

  'No,' I said.

  I could feel the effort behind the word. It was as if some subconscious part of me were working to keep it back.

  'Peter!'

  There was a soft smile on her face; as she raised it to mine I put my arms around her.

  She drew away with a little laugh. Her whole manner had changed. She was a different being from the girl who had looked so gravely into my eyes a moment before.

  'Oh, my dear boy, how terribly muscular you are! You've crushed me. I expect you used to be splendid at football, like Mr Broster.'

  I did not reply at once. I cannot wrap up the deeper emotions and put them back on their shelf directly I have no further immediate use for them. I slowly adjusted myself to the new key of the conversation.

  'Who's Broster?' I asked at length.

  'He used to be tutor to'--she turned me round and pointed--'to -that-.'

  I had seen a picture standing on one of the chairs when I entered the room but had taken no particular notice of it. I now gave it a closer glance. It was a portrait, very crudely done, of a singularly repulsive child of about ten or eleven years old.

  -Was- he, poor chap! Well, we all have our troubles, don't we! Who -is- this young thug! Not a friend of yours, I hope?'

  'That is Ogden, Mrs Ford's son. It's a tragedy--'

  'Perhaps it doesn't do him justice. Does he really squint like that, or is it just the artist's imagination?'

  'Don't make fun of it. It's the loss of that boy that is breaking Nesta's heart.'

  I was shocked.

  'Is he dead? I'm awfully sorry. I wouldn't for the world--'

  'No, no. He is alive and well. But he is dead to her. The court gave him into the custody of his father.'

  'The court?'

  'Mrs Ford was the wife of Elmer Ford, the American millionaire. They were divorced a year ago.'

  'I see.'

  Cynthia was gazing at the portrait.

  'This boy is quite a celebrity in his way,' she said. 'They call him "The Little Nugget" in America.'

  'Oh! Why is that?'

  'It's a nickname the kidnappers have for him. Ever so many attempts have been made to steal him.'

  She stopped and looked at me oddly.

  'I made one today, Peter,' she said. I went down to the country, where the boy was, and kidnapped him.'

  'Cynthia! What on earth do you mean?'

  'Don't you understand? I did it for Nesta's sake. She was breaking her heart about not being able to see him, so I slipped down and stole him away, and brought him back here.'

  I do not know if I was looking as amazed as I felt. I hope not, for I felt as if my brain were giving way. The perfect calmness with which she spoke of this extraordinary freak added to my confusion.

  'You're joking!'

  'No; I stole him.'

  'But, good heavens! The law! It's a penal offence, you know!'

  'Well, I did it. Men like Elmer Ford aren't fit to have charge of a child. You don't know him, but he's just an unscrupulous financier, without a thought above money. To think of a boy growing up in that tainted atmosphere--at his most impressionable age. It means death to any good there is in him.'

  My mind was still grappling feebly with the legal aspect of the affair.

  'But, Cynthia, kidnapping's kidnapping, you know! The law doesn't take any notice of motives. If you're caught--'

>   She cut through my babble.

  'Would you have been afraid to do it, Peter?'

  'Well--' I began. I had not considered the point before.

  'I don't believe you would. If I asked you to do it for my sake--'

  'But, Cynthia, kidnapping, you know! It's such an infernally low-down game.'

  'I played it. Do you despise -me-?'

  I perspired. I could think of no other reply.

  'Peter,' she said, 'I understand your scruples. I know exactly how you feel. But can't you see that this is quite different from the sort of kidnapping you naturally look on as horrible? It's just taking a boy away from surroundings that must harm him, back to his mother, who worships him. It's not wrong. It's splendid.'

  She paused.

  'You -will- do it for me, Peter?' she said.

  'I don't understand,' I said feebly. 'It's done. You've kidnapped him yourself.'

  'They tracked him and took him back. And now I want -you- to try.' She came closer to me. 'Peter, don't you see what it will mean to me if you agree to try? I'm only human, I can't help, at the bottom of my heart, still being a little jealous of this Audrey Blake. No, don't say anything. Words can't cure me; but if you do this thing for me, I shall be satisfied. I shall -know-.'

  She was close beside me, holding my arm and looking into my face. That sense of the unreality of things which had haunted me since that moment at the dance came over me with renewed intensity. Life had ceased to be a rather grey, orderly business in which day succeeded day calmly and without event. Its steady stream had broken up into rapids, and I was being whirled away on them.

  'Will you do it, Peter? Say you will.'

  A voice, presumably mine, answered 'Yes'.

  'My dear old boy!'

  She pushed me into a chair, and, sitting on the arm of it, laid her hand on mine and became of a sudden wondrously business-like.

  'Listen,' she said, 'I'll tell you what we have arranged.'

  It was borne in upon me, as she began to do so, that she appeared from the very beginning to have been extremely confident that that essential part of her plans, my consent to the scheme, could be relied upon as something of a certainty. Women have these intuitions.