The Most Uncommon Cold (Book 5): Surviving Beyond the Zombie Apocalypse

by Jeffrey Littorno

  “So did you get the poison?” she asked, completely ruining the mood.

  I loosened my embrace and looked at her. “You’re such a cold shower.” I shook my head and stuck my lip out in an exaggerated pout. Kat looked genuinely hurt.

  I held her hand. “There’ll be plenty of time for us later. Anyway, I take it you got the good news about—”

  A loud call from behind us interrupted my words.

  “Turner, the general needs you front and center,” a tall black soldier announced.

  I smiled and kissed Kat on the cheek. “Duty calls.”

  I followed the soldier to the back exit of the terminal. An area had been divided using crates and other large objects in the parking lot. They had made a sort of corral. I saw the boxes of the rat poison stacked right inside the overhead door of the loading platform about twenty yards away.

  The general was standing at the side of the barrier talking to a soldier inside the makeshift corral. “…so we can observe at close range without risk of exposure.” Thompson stopped speaking as he saw me approach. “Ah, here he is, the man of the hour.”

  I sensed that I was being mocked, although I could not be sure.

  “General,” I responded with a neutral nod.

  “Turner, if this works as you say it does, the tables may well be turned in our favor.” He looked at me carefully before continuing. “I’m not going to sugarcoat this. Things are not looking great for the good guys right now. Reports I have been getting from around the globe are not promising. These, uh, what did you call them?”

  “Shells,” I answered.

  The general smiled. “These shells, zombies, dead fuckers, or whatever you want to call them are basically kicking our asses.” He paused as his smile faded. “We lost some good men today, but that’s only a tiny fraction of the good soldiers as well as civilians that have been massacred by these bastards. If it was up to me, I’d nuke the whole damn bunch of them, but—”

  “But you’d have to nuke the whole world,” I finished his thought.

  “Right. So that’s why I have high hopes for this.” He nodded to the corral, which now contained two shells. They were the shells of a young blonde woman wearing a light green hospital gown and a heavyset man in plaid boxers and a dirty white undershirt. “But just because I have high hopes doesn’t mean I don’t think it’s a buncha horseshit. Please prove me wrong.” He waved his arm, signaling to proceed.

  I had not been under so much pressure in quite a long time. I actually began to worry that I had built up the effect of the poison too much. Now, if it didn’t work as well as everyone expected, I would be the target of a whole lot of scorn.

  I tried to hide my wobbly legs by striding quickly over and grabbing a big box of the rat poison. It was heavier than expected, and Thompson observed with amusement as I struggled to carry it to the side of the corral.

  I smiled back at the general. “I’ve got it, thanks.”

  My sarcasm was lost on the officer who did not move, but commanded, “You need to re-create the conditions in which you say that this substance incapacitated the enemy. Was it most effective in an airborne distribution or as simply placed in tactically advantageous locations?”

  “I’ve only used this stuff a couple of times, but it didn’t seem to matter which way. The rat poison worked either way.”

  “Well let’s see what you got, Turner,” the general said with exaggerated enthusiasm.

  We had been joined by the soldier I had seen previously inside the corral as well as a few others. The gathering crowd appeared to have been clued into what was supposed to happen. I caught bits of conversation from the soldiers. They seemed to be debating the reliability of my claim. Fucking bullshit seemed to be the clear consensus.

  I attempted to open the large cardboard box and was having some difficulty. A soldier moved from the group.

  “Here you go,” he said, stepping in front of me to slice open the top with a box cutter. He quickly moved out of the way, and I grabbed a few of the yellow containers of Pest-B-Gone and headed over to the side of the pen.

  All eyes focused on me as I tore open the first little box.

  “Don’t you need to get closer?” One of the soldiers asked.

  The shells shambled around on the other end of the enclosure attempting to get at a couple of soldiers standing in that area.

  “It seemed like this stuff attracts them like crazy,” I answered and heard snickers in response.

  “Well, let’s get on with it,” the general prodded impatiently.

  By now, I wondered what sort of treatment I would receive if the poison failed to work as well as I had reported. I could not keep the images of Colonel Granger opening fire on his troops from flashing in my mind. Although I did not really think it would go that far, I was definitely anxious about the results of this test.

  I pushed such useless thoughts aside and stepped up to the side of the corral. I shook the open box so that some of the contents flew out and floated to the ground. I stood there waiting for what seemed like hours. The shells continued in their activity at the other end of the enclosure.

  Finally, General Thompson nudged past me and slapped the top of the barrier. “Over here, you dead cocksuckers!” Several soldiers hooted with laughter.

  The sound drew the shells’ attention almost at once. The blonde moved quickly toward us while the other shuffled behind.

  As soon as the blonde shell got within about six feet of where we stood, it stopped and appeared to be unsure of how to proceed.

  “What the fuck?” came from one of the soldiers.

  The other shell moved up next to the first and also froze in place.

  “Turner, what are they doing?” General Thompson demanded.

  “I have no—” I started to answer but got interrupted as both shells charged the side of the corral and slammed into it.

  The general looked at me and shook his head. “That’s just great, Turner. From what I see, that stuff is real good for pissing them off. We don’t have much need for that.”

  The dismissive attitude only served to anger me, and I trotted a few yards down the fence away from where the shells were throwing themselves against it.

  “Over here you, uh, you dead pricks!” I screamed with all the force I could muster and poured some of the poison over the barrier. I formed a sandy line of three of four feet.

  The others regarded me with expressions ranging from confusion to utter contempt. However, the only attention I cared about at that moment was from the shells.

  It did not take long for them to turn toward the place where I had placed the line of poison. The blonde shell spun and nearly fell. The fat one shoved past and fell to the ground on top of the poison.

  The soldiers were silent as they watched the blonde crawl in next to the other as both pressed their faces to the pavement and began licking up the powder.

  “They look like a couple of hungry hounds,” the general commented. “So now what?”

  I looked at him and enjoyed replying, “Now, we wait a few seconds for—”

  Before I finished my answer, the fat shell appeared to deflate into a pile of dust. The blonde was attempting to stand as one leg collapsed into nothing, sending the shell to the ground where it immediately became nothing more than a bundle of dust and clothes.

  Murmurs and then a roar erupted from the soldiers.

  “Fuck me ‘til I weep!” the general exclaimed. “Turner, I haven’t apologized to anyone for the last, maybe ever, but I am apologizing to you.”

  It would be a lie to say that I didn’t thoroughly enjoy Thompson’s apology. I loved every syllable, but I politely ended his groveling.

  “I appreciate the apology, General Thompson, but the important thing right now is to get this stuff to the right people so it can be put to good use.”

  It might have been my imagination, but for the first time since we had met, the general appeared to be giving me his complete attention. “Yes, I agree fu
lly. In the meantime, you deserve some time with your family. We will handle the material, and tomorrow morning the whole bunch of you can take the ferry to safety.”

  Suddenly, I had earned this man’s respect and instead of taking satisfaction in that I was silently deliberating whether or not to tell him the truth about Colonel Granger. I realized that Granger had been quite right when he said I would not be able to keep the secret to myself. Perhaps it was because of my experience as a reporter out to expose the truth. The reason may have been I had never seen a case in which keeping secrets had resulted in something positive.

  In the next instant, I got a clear picture of Granger smugly grinning at his insight into my character and muttered, “Fuck you, Granger.”

  Thompson tilted his head slightly to the right as if unsure he had heard me correctly. “What’s that?”

  I got startled back to reality by the question and answered, “Nothing. I’m going back inside.”

  “Thanks again,” the general offered his hand, and I shook it.

  It suddenly occurred to me that I still had his gun. I pulled it from my belt where it had become a fixture.

  “General, here you go.” I offered the pistol to him.

  He looked at it for a moment as if considering what to do. “Why don’t you hang on to that?” he finally said. “Never know when it might come in handy. Talk to Wilson if you need any ammo.” He nodded and smiled at me as I headed into the terminal.

  Chapter 16

  Kat and Christina both rushed to greet me as I came back into the terminal.

  “How’d it go?” Kat asked as she moved close.

  “Yeah, how’d it go?” Christina echoed. I smiled at the two of them, feeling happy and hopeful for the first time in a really long time.

  “Well, I have to say it went great, and, as an added bonus, General Thompson seems to be my new best friend.”

  Christina scrunched her face into an expression of disgust at my mention of the general.

  I lifted her up. “You don’t like the nice general?”

  She shook her head energetically so that her hair brushed across my face. “He’s a big grump.”

  “Yeah, he’s a big grump!” Kat echoed, causing us all to laugh loudly.

  “What’s so funny?” Taylor asked, having moved silently next to me.

  “The general is a big grump!” Christina squealed with delight.

  I put my finger to my lips as I put Christina back down. “We don’t want to hurt the general’s feelings, okay?”

  She nodded and whispered, “It’ll be our secret.” She grabbed Taylor’s hand and led him off.

  Kat watched them go. “Before you got dragged off, you asked me something about good news. What did you mean?”

  I realized that those gathered in the terminal may not have been told about the ship taking us to safety. “They haven’t told you anything about what’s going on?”

  Kat shook her head. “No, the only thing they have said is to stay away from the exits. One guy tried to ask the soldiers some questions, and it ended up in a shouting match.”

  I looked around at the group gathered in the terminal. They seemed to regard me with some curiosity mixed with distrust. I guessed this was due to the fact that I had gone willingly with the soldiers and appeared to be associated with them. I decided to tell them what I knew.

  “I know that you have no reason to listen to me,” I began as the others regarded me with suspicion. “But the general has given me some news about our—”

  “I can take it from here, Turner,” General Thompson commanded from the doorway before stepping into the room. “The news is that at 0600 tomorrow, a ship will be available to take all of you to an island off the coast of Southern California. This island is, according to all reports, a secure location.”

  An excited murmur of approval moved through the crowd.

  “And even better, you have Mister Turner here to thank for what may well turn out to be the secret weapon against these motherfuckers.” As soon as the word left his mouth, the general’s face turned bright red, and gasps were heard from the mothers in the crowd.

  “He said a bad word,” Christina whispered.

  “I apologize for my rough language,” Thompson stammered and left quickly.

  As soon as the general exited, the crowd rushed toward me. Having a crowd of people surrounding me was not something with which I had ever been comfortable and that discomfort had grown over the last few months. I tried not to show my unease as the people began questioning me.

  “So what the hell is that guy talking about?” asked a short Asian man in broken English.

  “Well, we’re going to get out of here to some place safe. That’s the most important part for you to know. As for the weapon, I got lucky and found out that rat poison attracts these things and wipes them out.”

  “Ah, bullshit!” A muscular young man with dark curly hair called out. “This has gotta be more damn lies.”

  A few of the men standing near curly nodded in agreement. He obviously enjoyed the attention. I walked a little closer to the young man and looked directly at him.

  “Look, I completely understand where you’re coming from,” I paused, regretting using the expression as it made me sound as if I was trying to sound hip. “I understand, because I had the same opinion until very recently. I’m no fan of the military. But I see that they have kept us safe in here and taken care of us.”

  “I can take care of myself!” Curly proclaimed, sticking out his muscular chest. This time, however, he did not enjoy the same support he had previously received. His companions seemed to be considering my words.

  “I’m sure you can,” I said reassuringly. “But the thing is, we need to stick together. That’s the only way any of us is going to survive.”

  “Lighten up, Victor,” one of the guys near him said.

  “Anyway, once we get somewhere safe, the Army, Navy, Marines, and whoever else they’ve got can figure out the best way to use the stuff. It shouldn’t take long to clear these things out, and we can all go home.”

  Curly appeared ready to offer another objection. However, this time his buddies told him to keep quiet. His entire frame appeared to deflate with the disapproval of his friends.

  “So I guess the only thing left to say is have a good night and be ready to go at 6,” I said with a level of optimism that I had not had for a long time.

  Kat moved immediately to my side. “So do you have any plans for this evening?”

  I shook my head. “I never make plans that far ahead.”

  She giggled. “I think I can keep you busy,” she whispered in my ear.

  Before I could respond verbally in addition to physically, Christina pulled on my sleeve. “Did you see my friend Mikey? I’ve been looking but can’t find him anywhere,” she whined.

  Kat looked down and realized that I was not prepared to go anywhere. “It’s okay, sweetie. We’ll go find him.” She smiled seductively as she moved over to take the little girl’s hand.

  “Where is the last place you saw him?” she asked.

  “His mother came to get him. I wanted to keep playing, but she said he couldn’t,” Christina started to cry. “I think she was mad at me. Did I do something bad?”

  “No, you didn’t do anything wrong, honey.” Kat pulled the little girl close as she looked at me for support.

  I shrugged. “Let’s go find Mikey and his mother. We can get this all worked out.”

  The young woman and the little girl both smiled at me, and my heart swelled with happiness.

  Christina took my hand on one side and Kat’s on the other. We strolled over to where Mikey and his mother usually slept. Surprisingly, the area was now bare of any belongings, such as the bags, magazines, and makeshift cushions other people kept in their usual spots for sleeping.

  “Are you sure this is the right place, Christina?” I asked.

  “Yes,” she answered, looking close to tears again. “Mikey’s jacket and hat
used to be right there.” She pointed to a corner and began to sob.

  “Oh, it’s okay,” Kat said and got on her knees to look eye to eye with the girl. “We’re gonna find your friend.”

  After a moment, the sobs decreased. “It’s my fault they’re gone,” she said between gasps.

  “No. No, it’s not your fault,” Kat hugged her.

  “They must be around here somewhere,” I offered. “We can stay around here crying like a silly, or we can go find them.”

  My words had the desired effect as Christina immediately stopped crying. “I’m not a silly! Let’s go find Mikey.”

  I flashed a smile at Kat, who looked worried.

  “Is there any other place they might be?” Kat asked.

  “No, their stuff was always right there,” she scrunched her face to look serious. “Oh, wait, sometimes Mikey and his mom washed up in the bathroom.”

  “Okay, let’s start there.” I chuckled. “They can’t hide from us, right?”

  Christina giggled. “Right!” she answered.

  There were restrooms at both ends of the terminal. The little girl grabbed my hand and I grabbed Kat’s. We travelled train style through the terminal. Several people looked at us. The good news had improved the mood in the building, and people were clearly feeling more positive and smiled at our playfulness.

  Christina led us to the women’s restroom at the right side of the terminal. We stopped at the entrance. “Sorry, us girls have to take it from here,” Kat said, releasing my hand and grabbing Christina’s.

  “Wait here, Kevin, okay?” the little girl asked with complete seriousness.

  “I’ll be right here. Call if you need me,” I said, taking up position to the right of the entrance.

  The two of them headed inside the restroom, and I listened for any sound of trouble. I barely made out the two of them speaking in quiet, unintelligible voices.

  After a couple of minutes, a toilet flushed and water ran in the sink. Christina appeared at the entrance, followed by Kat.

  “Empty,” Kat pronounced.

  “Yeah, empty,” the little girl echoed.

  “Well, what now?” I asked.