Grimoires and Where to Find Them

by Raconteur, Honor

  Why? Well, I supposed that going to a noblewoman’s house and informing her we want her to host a possible stage for a caper would be entertaining enough. But that’s only partially why I held the opinion.

  Edward Jameson. That was my main reason. He accompanied us on this trip.

  I kept eyeing him sideways, not at all sure if I could trust him to behave. He looked respectable, at least. With the dark grey day suit on, his sandy-brown hair combed back, he looked like any other middle-class teenager. Not ugly or handsome, rather plain but nice looking. The type to blend in perfectly with a crowd.

  Jamie swore him to be on his best behavior. Clint promised to keep an eye on him at all times. I still felt this was a bad idea. But, having been overruled, I steeled myself to curse him if necessary.

  So, we knocked on the door to Lady Radman’s, three humans and three Felixes, all while I held onto hope that this would work out. And, at the very least, prepared to have an interesting story to tell later.

  The same maid as before opened the door and let us in. She guided us into the same morning room, with Lady Radman in her chair, as if we were repeating the day we met her all over again. A very strange, surreal feeling, I assure you.

  She greeted us with a smile that spoke of mischief.

  “Come in, come in. Welcome. Your call promised something interesting, Detective, and I do hope you’ll deliver. You’ll discover that when you get to be my age, life becomes much too staid. Do tell me you’re here to give me something interesting to do. And who is this young man with you?”

  Jameson needed no one to introduce him. He swept her a courtly bow, a roguish grin on his face. “Edward Jameson, at your service. I’m the Queen’s Thief.”

  “Marvella Radman,” she replied, her smile just as impish and dropping ten years from her appearance. “Oh, it is a pleasure to meet you, sir. I do hope that after we get through business, you’ll stay and chat with an old lady. I’m sure you have many a good story to tell.”

  “Do I ever,” he said, delighted by the invitation.

  Did I trust him to sit and talk to her? And eat cookies, drink tea, and not take anything out of this house on a lark?

  Sometimes, even when I intend a question to be rhetorical, it doesn’t come out that way. Putting an unapologetic thief and a bored noblewoman together couldn’t produce a good result.

  “Business first, please,” Jamie inserted dryly. She sat comfortably in a wing-backed settee and drew Jameson to sit next to her. I approved of the firm grip she had on him.

  I chose the chair on the opposite side, perfectly angled to intercede if necessary. Although he did seem to be making good on his promise. At the moment.

  “Tea, please,” Lady Radman requested of her maid. Then she promptly turned back to Jamie. “Alright. You only hinted at what you wanted done. Do tell me the full plan now. I’ve been unable to focus for hours since you called.”

  “It’s going to sound unorthodox at first,” Jamie warned her. “But hear me out. What we want to do is bait the thief into coming here so we can trap him. I want to noise it about that one of the people who owns a grimoire is interested in selling, and that you’re buying it back from him. You’re celebrating the return of the grimoire to the Radman family, so you’re throwing a party on the night it returns here. We’ll put many a plain-clothes detective into your house as party guests, and Eddy will serve as our expert, as I think it will take a thief to catch a thief.”

  Far from being alarmed by this plan, Lady Radman was excited. She clasped her hands together, eyes wide with delight. “Oh. Oh, how splendid. My house will be the center of the action. And I do think it’s a sound plan. Although I’m not sure why you think a party will entice the thief to come.”

  Jameson piped up. “Best time to nick something, m’lady. When it’s noisy and confusing, people coming in and out, easiest thing in the world to slip in with the guests. Pose as a caterer, staff, or even a chauffer, no one thinks anything of you being there. You walk right in and out like you own the place.”

  She listened intently, wispy white brows furrowing. “I see. Is that how you operate?”

  “No, m’lady, not really my style. I prefer it dead of night and quiet. That said, I’ve taken advantage of a crowd a time or two. It’s not a matter of one tactic being better than the other, it’s more about opportunity and what you’re more comfortable with. Me, I like it quiet.”

  “Fascinating. We really must chat after this.” Lips pursed, Lady Radman considered. “I’m quite keen on at least trying it. I don’t at all like this situation, and if the thief is that elusive, baiting him might be the only option we have. That said, I do think Andrea Tilton is the person to draw into this. She owns volume two. She’s got nerves of steel, that one, and the poker face to pull this off.”

  That had been one of our questions, who could pretend to give a grimoire over. I was glad Lady Radman had a ready answer for us.

  Jamie pulled out her notebook from a breast pocket and made a note. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to speak to her with you present so we can all discuss this.”

  “Yes, of course. I’ll invite her over for tea tomorrow. We can sit and talk then.” Her thin lips pressed together. “Will you use the real grimoire for bait?”

  I shook my head immediately.

  “No, my lady, far too dangerous to do so. We’ll need to put a tracking spell on the book just in case we do lose sight of it. A backup plan so we can still follow the thief out, you understand. There’s no way to do that to a Reaper’s grimoire. It’s designed so no one can tamper with the pages, make additions to it, etc. I have Jere Mortimer working even now on a fake copy for us to use. If there’s anyone who can craft a lookalike, it’s him.”

  Her worry eased, shoulders relaxing. “Oh, good. I did worry about that. Plans do go awry, after all. Now, what all would you need me to do?”

  “Throw the party,” Jamie answered readily. “I have no idea what all would go into that. But I need you to throw the party itself, to organize it as if it’s the real deal. If you can think of people to invite who also have good poker faces, maybe five or six, to lend more credence to this, that would be good, too.”

  “We want to salt the audience with enough recognizable people that the thief doesn’t catch wind of our true intention,” I explained. “But we’ll need to be selective about who to invite. My parents might be a good addition.”

  “Oh, yes, that’s a splendid idea. I called your mother the other day. We had lunch together, and it was delightful to catch up. I’m sure she’ll be happy to help.” Lips pursed in thought, she added, “I can think of a few others as well. One of my nephews is military, no one will think it odd if he’s here. I’ll make up a list of possible people for you, shall I? You can pick whoever you think will be best, and how many.”

  “Sounds great, thank you. Will the rest of your family try to join in?”

  “Don’t worry about them.” She got a glint in her eye that promised pain. “I’ve got them handled in situations like this.”

  So, shady cousins wouldn’t try to give us grief. Got it.

  The tea arrived, the maid pouring and handing out cups to all of us.

  As Lady Radman accepted hers, she asked Jameson, “And I assume you’re here to tell me how a thief might get in?”

  “Yes, and to look the place over, figure out the best place to put the fake. It’s a delicate balance. Gotta have enough vantage points that we can keep an eye on it but make it look deserted enough that a thief feels comfortable going after it.”

  Jamie inclined her head towards him. “Something that’s not natural for me to consider, hence why I brought him along. I’d only be guessing. He can tell me precisely where to put it. We want to catch the thief sooner rather than later, as things have gotten…dicey recently. It’s become very clear he doesn’t know how to handle a grimoire properly, and it’s leaving destruction in his wake. That said, can we put this together in a week?”

  Knowing very
well what these parties involve, a week was an absolutely absurd timeline. At least a month generally went into the planning and preparation. Not to mention, inviting people took time, as it meant checking with everyone’s schedule. I fully expected a refusal.

  A light of challenge sparked in Lady Radman’s eyes. “I’ll make it happen.”

  Jamie grinned back at her like a co-conspirator. “I knew you were the right woman to ask. I’ll help you in any way I can.”

  “Don’t help too much,” Lady Radman cautioned. “We don’t want to give the game away. Give me your instructions for what needs to happen, then keep your distance. I’ve got this handled.”

  I didn’t doubt her. She probably could organize this all in a week’s time and do it swimmingly, to boot. And it was just as well, in that sense. We had other things demanding our time and attention.

  Jamie clapped her hands together before rising. “On that note, let’s get started.”

  After spending two hours planning it all out, we finally left. Jamie drove (I’m not quite sure how that happened), and we headed back to the station at a good clip. I was of half a mind to allow myself to be carted back to the station, but there was something else I felt needed my attention.

  As we neared a street corner, I turned to her and inquired, “Do you mind if I take off?”

  “No? But where are you going?”

  “I feel terrible about dumping the project on Jere, and I feel like trying to come up with a good fake in a week’s time is a bit of a tall order. I want to go help him this afternoon.”

  “Fair.” She flipped a hand before returning it to the steering wheel. “I mean, we’ve dumped a lot on Jere, and I know he’s getting paid for it, but it’s still a lot. I don’t know if you can really help me all that much this afternoon, anyway. I’ll just be running around, talking to everyone, trying to get people in motion.”

  Yes, let me avoid that, please. It sounded distinctly unpleasant. And peopley.

  “Then drop me off at the corner. I’ll take a taxi up to his workshop.”

  Jamie obligingly did so, then leaned across the middle seat to give me a quick kiss. “Have fun storming the castle!”

  Having now seen The Princess Bride, I knew the reference and snorted. “Thank you, my dear. Phil, would you accompany me?”

  Phil hopped out of the basket in the back seat and was into my lap in a blink, tail already twitching happily. I gathered him up to ride in the crook of my elbow as I exited the vehicle.

  It was a thriving afternoon, coming closer to evening, and I knew Jere and I wouldn’t have a great deal of time to work on matters today. But the work always went faster with two hands, and I might be able to squeeze out some time tomorrow to assist him again. We’d often paired up on projects in school, and I knew we made a good team.

  Jamie pulled away with a wave, as did Jameson. I let them go, then hailed a taxi at the first opportunity. I gave the address to the driver before hopping inside, closing the door behind me.

  Once we were on our way, it occurred to me that for once, I had a quiet spell available to me. It was rare to have one-on-one time with Phil without possibility of interruption. I’d thought often about Jamie’s question and admitted to myself that she was likely right. I was a touch nervous about it. Phil liked me, but to that degree? I found myself unsure at moments.

  But if I didn’t ask, then I’d never have an answer. And I didn’t want to make the situation more awkward by leaving it in limbo.

  I sucked in a breath, gathered my courage, and hoped I could phrase this right. “Phil?”

  Phil turned his head to look up at me, golden eyes blinking once.

  “I have a somewhat delicate question to ask you. We’ve spent much time together, and I’ve been blessed with your assistance more than once. I feel it only right to ask. Would you like to be my familiar?”

  He startled, his entire body shivering once with it. Then his eyes went wide, ears perking, tail lashing behind him like a whip. “Yes!”

  With that single word, he dissolved all of my doubts. I took my first true breath in several minutes and gave him a good stroke from head to tail. “I’m very glad. I wasn’t sure how you felt about it. It does mean you’ll be living more with me than with Jamie.”

  “It’s fine,” he assured me, purring now with joy. “I see them all the time.”

  “That’s true, we’re practically together all the time, anyway.”

  He reached up on hind legs, nuzzling against my chin, tail still swishing happily. “My Henri, now.”

  “I suppose I am, at that.” I nuzzled back, happy. I’d never imagined a familiar for myself. They were difficult to obtain unless you were a very highly ranked magician, and I’d never had the magical demand necessary to invoke the right to insist upon one. Although, I suppose, with the workload I now shouldered, it made more sense for me to have one.

  People would likely think that was why I asked Phil. The ones dearest to me would understand practicality had nothing to do with it.

  We arrived at Jere’s without fanfare. I paid the driver and got out, still carrying Phil. I didn’t have to carry him far. I got the workshop door open and one foot inside, intending to announce our presence and willingness to help, when Phil leapt lightly from my arms and ran inside.

  “Jere! We’re here, and I’m Henri’s familiar!” the Felix announced as he barreled through the stacks of supplies.

  Well. That was one way to alert him.

  Jere’s startled voice came from the back corner. “What? Wait, Phil, is that you? When did that happen?!”

  Familiars really are nice. He saved me from tedious explanations.

  Henri was a nervous wreck before the party started. And then after the party started. He kept checking and double-checking things, and I finally had to latch onto him to prevent him from giving the game away. My man did not have nerves of steel, needless to say.

  I had to give it to Marvella Radman. She knew how to throw a party. I’d tried to limit her because we only had so much budget for this. Police stations are universally underfunded. She looked me dead in the eye and said not to worry about it. Gregson was happy to hear I didn’t need the money.

  It’s funny, ’cause people kept telling me the Radmans weren’t rich. But if this was their definition of poor, chain me to the wall. She had not one, but two caterers in for the occasion, a full waitstaff, a live orchestra playing some really pretty music in the conservatory, and a full dessert course all laid out, looking delicious. I’ve been to weddings less decorated than this.

  Playing the part of guests, no one was in uniform. Foster wore an all-black suit tonight that brought out the red highlights in his grey fur. More than a few women took notice of him. Niamh was drop dead gorgeous, wearing a flowing light green gown, her hair done up and a waterfall of blonde curls cascading down her back. Her choice of dress was smart, too—it had a full skirt that gave her room to run. I had no idea where she’d stashed her bow, though. Most of us had weapons all around the house, as there wasn’t a good way to carry them in formal wear.

  We weren’t seated for dinner yet. People were still arriving, and I was keeping a careful eye on everyone to make sure they didn’t get distracted and actually got to the right places. We’d not been able to rehearse this, only done a dry run at the station, which wasn’t quite the same.

  When Gerring arrived, he took everything in with wide eyes, lips pursed in a soundless whistle. “It looks amazing in here.”

  I led him casually away from the door and the staff to make sure no one could overhear us. “She really pulled out all the stops. It’s so authentic, I’m afraid people will forget they’re working.”

  Gerring snorted. “I can see why.”

  “Gerring, I keep trying to find a good moment to talk to you about this, but after this case wraps up, I think I’m going to turn you loose, okay?”

  He blinked at me as if I’d sprouted horns. “Wait, I thought you wanted me to get more experience.”
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br />   “You’ve got plenty, in my opinion. You’ve more than pulled your weight on this case, and it’s going to get good media coverage once the reporters figure out what’s going on. You’ll be in the spotlight. I say, capitalize on it. Fly, be free.”

  His smile was delighted. “Thank you. I’m really looking forward to it, although I’ll miss working with you and Dr. Davenforth. I know McSparrin’s really keen on me joining her. She keeps messaging me about it—oh.”

  Oh? He looked as if someone had just smacked him upside the head. And was he even breathing? I followed his gaze and saw Niamh pass by, his eyes automatically drawn to her.

  Ah. That oh. “Gerring, man up already. There’s music playing in the other room, go ask her to dance.”

  He swallowed hard, eyes still glued to her. “Am I even on her level?”

  “You won’t be if you don’t man up,” I responded in exasperation. “Look, you’re a full-fledged detective. Just as good as being a kingsman. Is that what you’re worried about?”

  “Yes,” he answered absently. “No. I don’t know. She’s just so amazing.”

  Where’s a clue bat when I need one? “Faint heart never wooed fair lady.”

  He blinked at me in confusion. “What?”

  “Just go, already.” I gave him a shove between his shoulder blades.

  Gerring went, looking a little dazed still, but determined. I saw him approach Niamh, gesture toward the room with the music, and she gracefully took the hand he extended. See? Not hard, Gerring. Most women will accept an offer to dance.

  Sherard slipped in to stand at my side, and he regarded the two with amusement. “Did he finally make a move?”

  “Finally, yeah. Good timing, too, I think our grimoire is due in about five minutes.” We’d scheduled this to make it look like a natural party, with people arriving a little early, or on time, or fifteen minutes late. That, and we wanted a good bulk of people here before the grimoire arrived, just in case.