Impressions of Me (Impressions Series Book 2)

by Christopher Harlan

  "Lots of people, actually," i answer, "and me most of all. I've never liked them."

  "Bad childhood experience?" He asks sarcastically. "Christmas go horribly wrong one year when you were a little girl?"

  "Christmas? What's that?" I say. This time he touches a nerve, but I'm not going to show him my cards like he showed me his in Sally's. The truth is we never really had a real Christmas when I was a kid - we were too poor and mom was too stoned, and I learned early that surprises usually disappoint.

  "What?" He asks, looking confused.

  "Nothing. Where are you taking me? I reject your deal, but feel free to compliment me all you want."

  "Oh I see how it works," he says while grinning at me, "I'll give you a hint, how about that?"

  "I guess a hint is better than nothing."

  "We're going for a drink."

  "Oh, okay." I don't know why I sound disappointed - I can hear it in my voice. I didn't even know that I would be seeing Kane, let alone that he'd be taking me out after work, so I'm not sure what business I have being disappointed, but maybe I have some wired expectations that I didn't even realize, which is strange because I haven't thought about Kane much since the wedding.

  "Straight edge?" He asks. I look at him confused. "You look like you don't like my idea one bit - thought maybe you didn't drink. Like me asking a vegan to go to a steakhouse."

  "No, no, it's not that," I say, trying desperately to get my foot out of my mouth, "It's nothing, I'm just tired, ignore me, a drink sounds great. Where are we doing? The bar around the corner? If so I recommend we leave the Bugatti parked here."

  "Not the bar around the corner, no."

  "Oh, okay, then where?" Kane smiles this almost deviant smile, like he's up to no good at all, but it's sexy as hell for some reason.

  "Get in." is all he says. His voice is deep and commanding, yet I don't feel like he's telling me what to do or being controlling, so I smile back - mostly because I'm about to check 'ride in a Bugatti with sexy-ass man' off of my personal bucket list. As soon as I get in and Kane starts the engine I feel amazing, and he looks at me and laughs, "The bar across the street! Have you been with the wrong guys."

  Yeah. Yeah I have. Will you be any different? Are you 'with' me? I'm so confused, I I haven't seen this him in weeks and now he's taking me to some undisclosed location and telling me he's better than the guys I've been with? He hits the gas and it feels like we're flying for a moment; I didn't know a car could go that fast that quick. When we pull out of the alley and turn the corner I feel like I'm living in a dream: handsome man, amazing car, and wind through my hair. But then I get a text.

  "Shit" is all I can think to say.

  "What's wrong?

  "I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I need to go home."

  Kane pulls over and looks me. "Seriously, he asks, "you could just tell me if you don't wanna go, I would understand."

  "No, it's not that, I promise, I really do want to go." I'm telling him the truth, and until I say the words I don't even realize how badly I want to go with, but I can't right now. I look down at my phone and see the text from Kevin:

  Kevin: when are you coming home? I think she misses you; she keeps standing by the door.

  Jordan! I guess I have to get used to the idea of being responsible for someone other than myself. I got so swept up in Kane that I nearly forgot I have to get home to her. "I really do wanna go, I swear," I say, seeing the subtle look of disappointment on Kane's face. Vulnerability is cute on him. "I adopted a dog today."

  "That's a terrible excuse," he says.

  "That's not an excuse, i really did." I say defiantly.

  "You mean to tell me you left a brand new puppy at home on the first night you adopted him."

  "Her," I correct, "and she's no puppy, trust me, she's a big, blocked-headed beauty named Jordan."

  "Why Jordan?"

  "Why not Jordan?"

  "Excellent point," he fires back sarcastically, "and I guess 'why adopt a dog' is a better question. And don't say "why not."

  "Let's just say I've been a little lonely, and she makes me feel better."

  "Darling, you have my number, I could have made you feel a hell of a lot better than old Jordan."

  "Keep dreaming, Kane," I joke, "but I want you to know I'm not blowing you off in any way. Raincheck?"

  "Raincheck." He's being understanding, and I find it super e attractive. And the evening isn't ending too shabbily, I do get a personal chauffeur to drive me home in a Bugatti, after all, nothing to complain about. After a quick few minutes we arrive, and he pulls over in front of my place. "Well, here we are. Just so you know I plan on cashing that raincheck sooner rather than later."

  "That's fine with me." It really is. I don't know what happened since the last time I saw him, but I'm enjoying being around Kane in a different way than I'm used to. He feels strangely safe, and I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I'm attracted to him.

  "Well, goodnight then, Dacia." He says. I love hearing my name spoken correctly, and even more so when it comes from his lips, "say hi to Jordan for me - I've gotta say I've never lost a woman to a dog before. But I guess there's a first time for everything."

  "There is," I say, "but you didn't lose me." I step out of the car and lean down into the open window, "I think you've only just found me." I turn and walk away to the sound of his car speeding back off into the night. What a strange turn of events. And to think I didn't even wanna go to work tonight.

  What a crazy night. Oh God, I almost forgot about Kev! What if Jordan clawed his eyes out when he didn't give her the right amount of food? No, I'm being silly, Kevin wouldn't love his face too much, he would at least get his hands up to block the attack. But still, I need to get inside, I'm exhausted.

  As I turn the key in the lock I swear I can hear laughter. No way, that can't be right...oh my. I can hardly believe my eyes when I see Kevin on my floor, getting his face licked vigorously by my newly adopted dog. Jordan's just licking him over and over again like he was an ice pop, and Kevin can't stop laughing and smiling. "Aww," I say so he knows I'm back, "see, I knew you two would be besties."

  "Best dog ever." Kevin says. It's really cute to see him rolling around with her, and it's even cuter to see Jordan so happy. I was worried that leaving her alone on her first night would scare her, but it looks I brought her the best possible toy.

  "I'm glad you had a good time. But I think it's time to say goodnight, I'm beat." I don't feel like getting into all of the events of the evening, I need to sleep, but I know I'll probably end up telling him at a later point.

  "Must have been a rough service, huh?"

  "Oh, you have no idea. Did you feed Jordan?"

  "Dammit, I knew I forgot something," he jokes with a big bratty smile on his face, "yes, of course I fed the monster - and thanks for the vote of confidence in my dog-sitting abilities."

  "You're so sensitive, Kevin." He leans in and gives me a kiss on the cheek. "Goodnight, and seriously, thank you so much, I don't know what I would have done without you."

  "Get fired, lose your apartment, you know, all that stuff. Glad I could rescue you from that spiraling abyss."

  "Jordan and I are grateful, believe me." Before he leaves he heads over to her, and leans down to have his face licked. Jordan sits up and starts shaking her big butt back and forth uncontrollably, and when Kevin bends over to say goodbye she licks him uncontrollably with her pink tongue. He can't help but smile again. I think she might like him more than me. I don't blame her. I was a bad mommy tonight. After his tongue bath Kevin says goodnight and leaves, but before he's out the door he says,

  "What I actually did forget to do was take her for a walk - i didn't see a leash." Shit! A leash! I knew that I forgot something.

  "Right, a leash," I say, trying to cover up that I don't have one, "I think I left in my closet, I'll take her out, don't worry."

  "Night," he says.

  "Night."

  Great, now I ha
ve to go all MacGyver and find a way to take Jordan out, she must have to pee so bad. "Come here, baby." I say as I wave her over to me. As she runs over her little nub of a tail shakes back and forth, and I pet her while trying to think of ideas. I can't take her out without a leash, especially a big Rottie, people are dumb and will be scared of her. I also can't let her pee on my carpet like she's eventually going to do if I don't introduce her to some grass soon. "Wait, I know!" If I was a cartoon there would be a shiny lightbulb appearing over my head right now.

  I remember that I have some bunji cables in the closet from that summer I decided I was going to jump off of high places with an elastic cord tied around me - what the hell was I thinking? I ask myself that question too much. And who cares what dumb ideas I had a few summers ago, right now I have myself the most low-budget dog leash ever, and it's time for a walk. "Jordan," I say and she looks right over at me, "wanna go out?"

  It's starting to get chilly at night. All I put on is this thin hoodie and I already regret it. Maybe she'll pee quickly so we can go back inside right away. I look ridiculous in my waitress outfit, old hoodie, and a big rescue dog pulling me around by a bunji cord wrapped around her neck.

  We start to walk up and down the block and Jordan looks confused, like she doesn't know what to do on the grass. She probably doesn't, they probably just let them go to the bathroom in their little cages at the shelter. I'm so glad I got her out of there - she's too beautiful to spend any time in that place. "C'mon, go already." I say to her as I get colder. We keep walking up and down a few times, then all of a sudden I hear my phone going off in my pocket. I grip the leash with my left and pray Jordan doesn't pull me - from the size of her she could take me right off of my feet if she saw a squirrel that looked chase-worthy.

  When I dig the phone out of my pocket I don't recognize the number. Normally I would let it go to voicemail, but I'm curious who's calling me this late. "Hello?" I recognize the voice, but it's been so long since I've heard it that I don't quite realize who it is. "Yes, this is Dacia," I say, listening intently to what will be said next, "oh hi, Mr. Schulman, it's been forever..." When I hear the words being spoken on the other end of the line my heart starts racing uncontrollably. I listen without moving, and I forget where I am and what I'm doing, my hand holding Jordan's leash by pure instinct. When he finishes all I can think to say is "thank you for telling me. Goodnight."

  I hang up the call and put the phone back in my pocket. Jordan must have finally peed because she starts pulling me back towards my place, and I follow as though she's walking me. When we get back inside I walk inside my room to get changed, and all I can feel is the pounding of my heart in my chest, and the terrible thoughts flooding to the surface of my mind. I know what I just heard, but I can hardly believe it's happening. I guess I knew that this day would come, but I've put it out of my mind for so long that I just let myself forget about it.

  I finally get changed out of my work clothes, and without even thinking about it, I just lay down in my bed, pull the covers up to my neck, and cry. I can't believe I have to deal with this again.

  Chapter 7

  Is it morning already? Thank God I don't have work today. For about ten seconds I forget about that call; I guess my brain just rejects it, and I enjoy my ten seconds of post wake-up bliss, and then I remember the voice on the other end of the line, and what he said to me as I stood in the cold with Jordan. . .

  My phone vibrates in the middle of my remembering, and it jolts me out of my own head for a second. My first thought is wondering who the hell is texting me first thing in the morning, and then I look over at the clock on my nightstand. It's 1 pm! Jesus! How the hell did I sleep so long? And how the hell did Jordan not pee on my floor? I look down at the foot of my bed and see her big black body lying across the floor, and when I sit up in bed she does the same, looking at me and shaking the nub that used to be her tail back and forth. "Best Dog ever." I tell her, which makes her shake even harder, "how did anyone ever give you up?"

  I grab my phone off the nightstand and open it up. It's Mia!

  Mia: hey, what are you doing?

  She wasn't kidding, she really is texting me on her honeymoon.

  Dacia: shouldn't you be on your back or your knees right now in some kind of sexual fit of madness? Get your life together!

  Mia: you have to take a break at some point. I'm exhausted.

  Dacia: poor baby!

  Mia: Don't hate. What are you up to?

  I decide that a gentle lie is better than the truth - I'm not trying to avoid her question, but I also don't want to get into the phone call I got last night either. Normally it would be the type of thing I'd only talk to Mia about, but it's not a conversation to have via text - or while she's on her honeymoon; I don't wanna bum her out. I decide to change the subject a little.

  Dacia: So, I got a dog.

  Mia: what? Like a little dog?

  Dacia: yeah, sure, if 100 lbs is little.

  Mia: Have you lost your mind?

  Dacia: A long time ago, don't ask me things you already know the answers to. And she was super sad, they were going to kill her. I had to.

  Mia: is she good?

  Dacia: she's the bestest!

  I'm getting tired of texting, there's something else I want to talk to her about but I don't feel like typing it.

  Dacia: are you with Wesley? I need to talk but don't want him to hear.

  Mia: Gimme five, okay?

  Dacia: ok

  I jump jump out of bed and throw on a tee shirt and sweat pants to take Jordan out real quick. I seriously can't believe she's so well trained, and I realize once again that I won't be winning any dog owner awards (if that's even a thing, which it definitely isn't). I take her out front real quick and run back inside by the time I hear Mia calling.

  "Hey, sorry, getting carpel tunnel from all the typing." When I finally hear the sound of her voice I feel better, and I start to tell her what I really want to tell her about, which is my intense non-date with Kane. She listens on the other line while I go through the whole story of last night: the weird meeting at Sally's; the flirting, the date that wasn't a date, and me having to leave suddenly. And the car...I have to mention the car, of course. Mia listens to me go on and on for about three minutes and then pauses before she responds, like she's thinking of exactly what to say to me.

  "So what I'm hearing is that you couldn't go out with him because of this new dog. Do I have that right?"

  "Don't blame Jordan, she's innocent."

  "But seriously, you and Kane? I didn't know it was like that."

  "Hell, I didn't either," I say, frustrated, "I don't even know exactly what 'that' is yet - if it's anything at all."

  "Oh it's definitely something," Mia says, "if it wasn't then we'd be talking about Kevin's psycho girlfriend or something gossipy."

  "You're right," I say, "and we're definitely going to talk about that, too, but we'll save that for another day. When are you getting back, anyway?"

  "Six days. I'll be back before you know it. Maybe we can have a Margot intervention for Kev. He needs it." We both laugh because it's true.

  "Six days seems like forever. I miss you guys."

  "I miss you, too, D."

  "Yeah, but I bet all the crazy honeymoon sexathons eases the pain some."

  "You for that right." She says. "But think of it like this; the longer I'm gone the longer you have to make last night a real thing - make your non-date into a real date." Mia always knows what to say to me. "And don't worry about the dog, she'll be fine."

  "I miss you. Give Wesley a hug for me, I'll see you soon."

  "You sure will. Bye."

  Mia will be home in about a week, and I really need to have an actual talk with her about what's going on, not just with Kane, but with everything going on with...uhh I can't even bring myself to think of the words. Mia calls me the strong one in our friendship, but I've always told her that I'm not strong, I just know how to survive, and I'm a tough as
they come, but I don't feel tough right now, I feel weak and vulnerable, not like myself at all. I haven't been like this since the incident happened the first time, and even though I knew somewhere deep down that this day would come, I've been burying that knowledge somewhere deep inside where I could forget about it. Funny how a single call on a random night can bring me back to how I felt five years ago. Anyway, Mia's the only one besides my Mom who knows about all of that, and talking to Mom about anything is about as comforting as hugging a porcupine, so I guess I'll have to wait for my girl to come back. Enjoy your trip, but get back soon, Mia, I really need you.

  Chapter 8

  When my phone vibrates a second time I think 'damn, Mia, I'll see you soon; go get a tan and have some wild sex with that beautiful man of yours', but when I look at the screen I see a number instead of a name from my contacts. The text just says "hey" but I don't recognize the number. I text back asking who it is, and get a reply immediately that reads:

  Unknown: it's your secret admirer

  Based on the phone call last night I start to get freaked out at the unknown text. What if it's him? I can't take the anxiety of not knowing, and wrestle with the idea of either blocking the number or responding, and I decide to stop being paranoid and just go for it.

  Dacia: I don't have one of those. Who is this? Last chance before I block you.

  Unknown: jeez, you cancel a date on me and then threaten to block me? The wedding's officially off!

  It's Kane! Jesus I got scared half to death thinking it could be...him. I don't wanna think about that now. Instead I answer back:

  Dacia: oh hey, what's going on?

  Kane: you erased my number from your phone also - insult number three.

  It's true, I took him out of my contacts a few weeks ago, after we were almost a thing but it didn't materialize. I figured I was just temporarily into the tall, sexy, unattainable rich guy - even though I don't really care about how much money a guy has. I was also kind of ashamed that I felt anything at all for him, he wasn't the best choice for me - I've been trying to break my own cycle of bad boyfriends and Kane just seemed like another bad boy I didn't need in my life, but there's something there I just can't shake, something about him that makes me want to know more. But now I feel horrible for erasing his number - especially since he's noticed.