Shoulda Been A Cowboy: Rough Riders, Book 7

by Lorelei James

  He didn’t know how much time passed as they remained intimately connected, caressing and kissing, but it was long enough for his cock to stir with intent. Cam pinned her hands above her head and growled, “Again.”

  This go around wasn’t sweet and lazy. It was an intense pounding, thrusting, clash of bodies. Of wills. Cam made Domini come twice before he followed suit in a blinding rush of pleasure that left him exhausted and lightheaded.

  Then Domini’s mouth searched for his, kissing him so sweetly, but with such underlying hunger that Cam knew he’d take her at least one more time before dawn broke.

  “I’d say you fucked me so thoroughly that I can’t feel my legs,” Domini muttered, “but that seems sort of unfair to you.”

  He chuckled. “Here I thought you were shy.”

  “Oh, I’m plenty shy. Look how long it took me to work up the courage to approach you. Almost two years.”

  “But offering yourself up to me any way I wanted was a great icebreaker, princess.”

  He flopped onto his back and sighed. He hadn’t felt this good, this sated, this relaxed…since before his injury. Maybe not ever.

  Domini rolled to her side and propped her head on her elbow. “Will you tell me about your injury and recovery?”

  Cam rarely talked about his war experiences. Mostly because people who hadn’t lived it wouldn’t understand it. But with Domini growing up in a turbulent eastern-bloc country, she wasn’t innocent to the harsh reality of the world outside the U.S. borders.

  “It was a late patrol in Baghdad. I was teaching one of the new kids protocol for an unsecured urban area when a bomb went off in front of us. We stopped and got out, only to have another detonation behind us. The dirt and debris cut us off from the rest of the caravan. Before we’d gotten too far off the road, I heard that distinctive whistling noise that meant someone had launched a rocket. I grabbed the kid, Jenks, and we hit the ground. But not fast enough. The jeep exploded behind us.

  “It’s kind of blurry after that. The explosion knocked us both out. When I came to, I had a big chunk of metal embedded in my left calf. It was bleeding, but I knew if I tried to pull it out, I’d bleed out, so I left it in. I couldn’t hear, I could barely see, but I knew there was still fighting going on all around us. I also knew we were sitting ducks after the ambush. We limped our way off the road into an abandoned building, figuring we’d sit tight until the fighting died down and we could reestablish radio contact.

  “No one realized we were missing until they did a head count at the base later that night. By then the gates were locked up and they couldn’t come back looking for us. Then a three day sandstorm hit that kept us cut off from any rescue attempt. Which was good and bad—the Iraqis weren’t able to find us any more than the patrols were.

  “Jenks and I stayed put. It wasn’t like I could walk anywhere with a big hunk of metal sticking out of my leg, even though it was mostly numb. Once we realized the storm had ended I told Jenks to leave me because he only had surface injuries, but he wouldn’t. Then a goddamn rainstorm hit, which is how he managed to get water for us when we didn’t have food. The week of unscheduled leave was a gritty haze of pain.”

  “How’d they find you?”

  “My buddy, Brock, wouldn’t give up on finding me—either dead or alive. Once the storms passed, he was out looking discreetly, randomly checking through the buildings in the area, so as not tip off anyone there were a couple of American army soldiers MIA. He stumbled across us after we’d been gone for six days. Shrapnel wounds coupled with being a pint or so low on blood, a low body temp and I was in a coma when the medics got a hold of me. When I woke up four days later, I found out they’d removed my lower left leg below the knee, as well as my pulverized left pinky.” He shuddered. “I still have goddamn nightmares about that.”

  “I’ll bet.” Her gaze moved to his stump. “But you don’t have a knee.”

  “They got me stabilized, called my family, and put me on a plane to the amputee specialist docs at Walter Reed as soon as possible. I was only there a couple of days before another infection set in. The docs decided it’d be better in the long run to remove my knee joint entirely.”

  “Did you have a say in it?”

  “I was so doped up and in so much pain that I didn’t give a shit.” And he was seriously pissed off about the wrong turn his life had taken. At first he’d refused to talk to anyone. Then he went a step further and denied all access to him. No visitors. Period. Cam knew it’d hurt his family, but at the time he didn’t give a rat’s ass. He wanted to be left the hell alone.

  But his sister wouldn’t accept his decree. She’d charmed her way into Ward 57 at Walter Reed Hospital and chewed him out, refusing to leave until he made some decisions about his life.

  Talk about being yanked up by his bootstraps. At the time, he’d almost hated her.

  Now Cam admitted he wouldn’t be where he was if not for Keely. If she’d shown up bawling her eyes out and wringing her hands, he’d’ve kicked her to the curb without apology. Her grim determination made him face the harsh realities. His life as a soldier was over. Period. He was handicapped. Period. So in Keely’s mind, that meant the sooner he learned to live with his disability, the sooner he’d be able to live a better life.

  Keely rented an apartment for them in Cheyenne after he’d been discharged from Walter Reed and his medical records transferred to the VA hospital. She ran interference with their family. She dealt with his doctor appointments, his army discharge paperwork, his VA benefits. And she personally oversaw his physical therapy, including convincing a prosthetic specialist from Denver to offer Cam a second opinion. She pushed him until they both broke down. She was there when he took his first steps on his new prosthesis. She argued with the doctors about the fit issues when he probably would’ve walked away and suffered in silence. She gave up six months of her life for him and never once complained. Never once did she throw her sacrifice in his face. It humbled him.

  “Cam? You okay?”

  “Yeah.” He ran his hand down her body, pleased when her skin broke out in goose bumps. “It’s late. We should probably try to get some sleep.”

  “True. I’ll get the lights.”

  The bed dipped and Domini snuggled into his right side, forcing him to wrap his arms around her. Not that he minded. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d held a woman in his arms all night.

  Domini was quiet, but it was a purposeful quiet.

  “What are you thinking?”

  “It’s almost more intimate to share a bed with someone than it is to have sex, isn’t it? Because when you’re asleep you’re vulnerable. It’s back to that trust thing.”

  Cam kissed her forehead. “Sleep. You’re safe with me.”

  “Maybe I wasn’t talking about me, Cam.”

  How the hell was he supposed to sleep now?

  The scream woke him. Disoriented, Cam realized it’d come from him.

  Shit.

  Not now. Please. Not now.

  Too late. His body was covered in sweat, yet he trembled so violently with cold that the mattress shook.

  “Cam? What’s wrong?”

  Rather than look even more weak, he turned on his side, away from her and shivered like a wet dog. Squeezing his eyes tight didn’t stop the images from flashing in his mind. Fuck. He hated this nightmare shit. He kept waiting for it to go away and it never did.

  “Ssh. It’s okay. I’m here.” She stroked his back in silence. Supporting him. Calming him. Soothing him.

  Pink and orange rays lightened the bedroom windows as the sun rose. Finally he quit shaking, but he hid his tearstained face from her.

  “If you don’t want to tell me I’ll understand. But if you do want to talk about it, remember I’m not going anywhere, Cam. Nothing you can say will make me leave you like this. I’ll be right here if you need me. For as long as you need me.”

  It wasn’t like her to push and it wasn’t like him to blurt out every horrid fuckin
g detail, yet he found himself doing just that. “I was back there, helpless, knowing what was coming but unable to stop it from happening.”

  “Stop what?”

  Say the words. Say them out loud.

  “The amputation. I woke up in the hospital and the docs said my leg was gone. But I felt it. I knew it was there but no one would listen to me. They called it phantom limb pain but they were all a bunch of fucking liars. I fought so hard to get out of that goddamned hospital bed. I couldn’t breathe and when I finally sucked air in, all I could smell was dirty flesh and blood and antiseptic. Then the nurse put me in restraints. That much is true. That really happened when I woke up. But then the dream…changes.

  “I’m lost, walking on a road in Iraq, the same road where the RPG hit us. I’m wearing my new leg and a…Jeep pulls up behind me. Full of American soldiers. I’m relieved to see them until I notice they’re all holding chainsaws.

  “They knock me to the dirt. One guy puts his boot on my chest to hold me down. The others…” Cam swallowed. “They start to cut off my other leg. Then they cut off both my arms. I can feel every fucking inch of that chainsaw blade digging into my skin and slicing through the bone. I’m screaming. Not only can I see my blood leaving puddles where my limbs used to be, I smell it. I smell the sand and the heat and my own blood and the exhaust from the Jeep as they drive off and leave me there to die. That’s when I always wake up.”

  Domini tugged on his shoulder until he rolled to his back. The horror and sympathy—not pity—in her eyes punched him in the gut. She wiped the beads of sweat from his brow, the tears from his eyes and traced the curve of his jaw. “What can I do?”

  He whispered, “Make it go away. Please, just help me forget.”

  She fell back to the mattress and attempted to yank him on top of her, apparently forgetting half his ability to balance was propped against the chair.

  “Be with me now. Like this. There’s nobody in the world but us, Cam. You’re safe with me.”

  The movement of her body was so sweetly urgent, so loving and caring that Cam aligned his cock and plunged into her without preamble. “Hold on to the headboard. Don’t let go.”

  When Domini arched back for it, Cam anchored his foot against the footboard and fucked her so hard the headboard slammed into the wall. Over and over. And since he was sprouting morning wood, he felt as if he could fuck her for hours. Fuck her until she passed out. Fuck her until he forgot every shitty thing in the world but her.

  The first orgasm rippled through her quickly. He sank his teeth into the delicate sweep of her neck and bit down on the magic spot that sent her spiraling into a second orgasm.

  “Cam.”

  “I know, baby. Again. Come for me again.”

  “This was supposed to be for you.”

  “It is for me. Being with you like this is the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.”

  “Such a sweet-talking soldier.”

  “Only for you.” His hair was damp, as were the sheets as their bodies slapped together. The sexiest, neediest sounds tumbled from her perfect lips.

  When she started to bear down on him during her third orgasm, Cam rammed into her and let her swollen, pulsing pussy muscles milk him of every last drop of seed. Milk every single care in the world clean away.

  Eventually their breathing returned to normal. Domini’s hands traced the contour of his spine. “Better?”

  He smiled against her neck and scattered kisses across her shoulders, down to her breasts and back up to her mouth. “Much. Thank you.” He breathed in the scent of her, let himself absorb her softness and strength.

  “My pleasure.”

  He pushed up on his palms. “I’ve got to get ready for work.”

  A sneaky smile crossed her face.

  “What?”

  “Need some help getting a leg up on your day?”

  “Har har.” He smooched her nose, secretly thrilled that she was already comfortable enough to tease him…and he was comfortable enough to take it. “Just for that comment, I expect breakfast.” He kissed her nose again. “A big breakfast. Pancakes. Eggs.” One last kiss. “And you will hand feed me while you’re nekkid.”

  “Is that an order?”

  “Yep.”

  “Then I’d better get cracking, huh?”

  Chapter Nine

  Cam dropped Domini off in the alley behind her apartment with a promise he’d see her later.

  She rested her forehead against the tile wall in the shower and the let water beat down on her. For such an outwardly resilient man, Cam had a wide streak of vulnerability. As much as she hated to see him hurting, it gave her a sense of…purpose that he’d leaned on her, confided in her, needed her. That he could rely on her to be the strong one for him for a change.

  During the course of the day would Cam decide he needed a break to regroup after opening himself up to her? Especially after she’d seen him reliving his worst nightmare?

  She’d ached for him, knowing exactly how it felt to wake up in the hospital with a piece of yourself missing.

  Why didn’t you tell him?

  Because the early morning breakdown wasn’t about her or what she’d experienced, it was about what Cam needed.

  Clean, dressed, loaded with caffeine, Domini grabbed her laptop and tackled the grocery order for the following week. She emailed the invoices to Macie in Canyon River, along with a note about payroll changes.

  After juggling next week’s employee schedules, Domini powered down her computer. She locked up her apartment and paused at the bottom of the staircase when she heard a baby wailing. She grinned and detoured to the back door leading to India’s Ink and Sky Blue. “Indy?”

  No answer.

  Chances were good given the baby boy’s set of lungs that India hadn’t heard her. Domini followed the crying to the retail store at the front of the building.

  But India wasn’t holding the squalling baby. Colt was.

  “Colt?”

  He circled around slowly as he continued to pat Hudson’s back. “Tell me he wasn’t loud enough that you heard him clear upstairs.”

  “No. I was in the stairway. I thought India was closing the shop today.”

  “She is. We’re just waitin’ for Mama to get back.”

  The drop-dead gorgeous cowboy looked like hell. Colt wore stained cut-off sweats, flip-flops and a wrinkled sleeveless T-shirt. The ball cap pulled low on his forehead didn’t hide the dark circles under his eyes. The second he quit moving, the baby fussed.

  “Is everything okay?”

  His bleary gaze connected with hers and it hit her that Colt and Cam had the same midnight blue eyes.

  Colt smiled at her crookedly. “Everything is fine, except Hudson doesn’t sleep much. Which means Indy and I don’t sleep much.” He dropped a kiss on the baby’s dark head. “Not that I’m complaining.”

  She wouldn’t either. “Where is India?”

  “At Doc Monroe’s getting her post-baby check up—three weeks late.”

  Domini bit back a smile. “My offer to babysit any time still stands.”

  “You’re gonna be shocked when we take you up on that one of these days.” Colt gave her an odd look. “So, what’s goin’ on with you and Cam?”

  Domini blushed. Dammit. She was pretty sure red cheeks and stammering was a dead giveaway something was going on.

  “That sneaky little shit,” Colt said. “He hasn’t told me nothin’ about this.”

  How was she supposed to answer? What if Cam didn’t want his family to know? “Maybe there’s nothing to tell.”

  “Right. Seein’ as his pickup has been parked outside your apartment late at night for the last week…well, sweetheart, that’s not something that’s gonna escape notice in this gossipy town or in the gossipy McKay family,” Colt drawled.

  “In that case, I guess it doesn’t matter that my shades are drawn?”

  Colt grinned. “Oh, I wouldn’t go that far. There’s lots of shocking things
goin’ on behind closed doors that are better left to the imagination.”

  No kidding. “Tell Indy I said hello,” she said and ducked out the back door.

  Domini snuck in the delivery entrance to Dewey’s. She watched David’s knife flash as the scents of onions and green peppers filled the prep area.

  David didn’t look up when he said, “Hey, Domini.”

  “Hey, Dave. How’s it going?”

  He shrugged. “I’m good.”

  “Did lunch go okay?”

  “Slow. So I have a feeling you’ll be busy tonight.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Because you’re cooking.”

  She groaned. “I forgot. Is there any chance—”

  “Nope. I’m prepping until five and then I’m outta here.”

  “Please?”

  “No way. I have a date with a hot number from Spearfish. She’s staying over at my place and everything.”

  “Lucky you.”

  “Yep.” David scooped the mix into a white plastic bucket.

  Domini wandered out front. The place was empty, typical for the time of day. Myra, the night waitress, sat in a booth rolling silverware. “Need some help?”

  “I won’t say no if you’re offerin’.”

  She slid across from Myra and grabbed a stack of napkins. “How was the lunch crowd today?”

  “Eating someplace else according to Bea.” Myra peered at her over the rim of her leopard-print eyeglasses. “Bobby is slacking big time when you’re not around.”

  That was disconcerting. “I haven’t heard customer complaints.”

  “That’s because they don’t bother to complain. They just don’t bother to come back in.”

  “David says we’ll be busy tonight because I’m cooking.”

  Myra rolled the silverware into the napkin and dropped it into the bucket with a muffled clank. “Why don’t you hire another cook if you don’t want to do it anymore?”

  “That’s the thing. I’d rather just cook. It’s the management stuff that I don’t want to do.” Domini almost clapped her hand over her mouth. Why had she admitted that? To an employee?