Shoulda Been A Cowboy: Rough Riders, Book 7

by Lorelei James

  “Me either.”

  Silence stretched as they held each other.

  She whispered, “I wish you could stay with me tonight.”

  “Me too. I promised Brandt I’d wait awhile before I told our family about Luke. It’s been a few hours so I’ve got some calls to make—”

  “You told me not to wake Anton up to bad news, but you’re going to call your brothers and other family members and do the same thing?”

  He sighed. “No. I guess you’re right. It’ll keep.” Cam’s hold locked them together, even as they were mired in their own separate, anguished thoughts.

  He cocked his head back to look at her.

  And Domini was lost in a million conflicting emotions when his mouth pressed to hers, helpless to keep the tears from falling when he kissed her so sweetly, like she was the most precious thing on the planet. The kiss lingered, almost as if they knew it’d be a while before they’d get the chance again.

  Cam rested his forehead to hers. “I want to make all the hurt you’ve ever suffered go away. I want to make sure you never hurt again. I want to pull the covers over our heads and wake up to find this was all a bad fucking dream.”

  “I wish we could.”

  “The next few days are gonna be pure hell for both of us. Will you keep in touch with me? Promise you won’t do anything rash or crazy like grab Anton and leave in the middle of the night?”

  “I promise.”

  “Good. Because I will hunt your ass down and drag it back here if you try it.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Telling Anton about Nadia’s death was every bit as horrible as Domini imagined. He repeated words “fault” and “blame” and because his sobbing was incoherent, Domini wasn’t sure if Anton was blaming Rex or Nadia or himself.

  The poor boy wept until he passed out from exhaustion. He refused to let go of her hand. What would she do when Social Services came calling and tried to take him away?

  Grateful as Domini was for the outpouring of support from the crew at Dewey’s, she had no idea what to do next. Did she handle memorial service arrangements for Nadia? Was there a will? Did she pack up Nadia’s house and bring Anton’s stuff here? Did she need to hire a lawyer? Would they give her custody—even temporary—if she wasn’t a blood relative?

  And while all the scenarios raced in her head, she grieved. Nadia had been her friend, her roommate, the closest thing Domini had ever had to a sister. Now she was gone. Every single time she thought of that, she cried.

  Soft knocking on the apartment door forced Domini to wipe her tears and get off the couch. She shot a look to her bedroom and listened, but the noise hadn’t disturbed Anton.

  Domini opened the door to Skylar McKay. Nadia’s boss. Her eyes were swollen, her face was puffy. The second their gazes connected, more tears spilled from Skylar’s eyes.

  “Come in,” Domini said. “Anton is sleeping in my bedroom.”

  “How is he?” Skylar squeezed her eyes shut. “Stupid question. That poor sweet boy. We’re all just heartsick. I closed the plant for a couple days.”

  Nadia had loved working at Sky Blue. She’d gotten close to the other employees after she’d divorced Rex. And because Sky Blue maintained onsite daycare, everyone knew Anton.

  Skylar clasped Domini’s hands as she sat across from her. “What can I do?”

  “I don’t know. I have no idea what to do first.”

  “We should plan Nadia’s memorial service. The girls volunteered to clear out Nadia’s house and bring Anton’s stuff to you, including any paperwork. I doubt Nadia had a will and that brings me to my next question.” Skylar leaned forward. “What happens to him?”

  “I don’t know. Nadia had no other family. I have no idea how the American system works, if Anton becomes a ward of the state or what.” Domini looked away, sickness churning in her belly as awful memories from that turbulent time in her life resurfaced. “Right after my parents died in the Ukraine, I was turned over to an orphanage.”

  “Oh Domini. I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

  “It’s not something I’m comfortable talking about. But you can understand why I don’t want him to end up in foster care. Ever. I’ll do whatever it takes to get custody of him, Skylar. I love him. I lived with him for two years. There is no one alive who knows that boy better than me. He needs me.”

  “And I think you need him,” Skylar murmured. “That should work in your favor. But I do think you need to hire a lawyer.” She unearthed a stack of post-its from her purse and scrawled a number. “Call Ginger Paulson. You met her at Keely’s party. She’s done corporate legal work for me. Since she’s a single mom, my guess is she’d be a bulldog on this case.”

  Domini tucked the note into her pocket. “Thank you. I think Ginger was Nadia’s divorce attorney.”

  “Then she’d already have legal paperwork about Rex. It might speed things up.” Skylar glanced at her watch. “I have to run. I’m meeting Indy, AJ, Channing and Libby. We’re going over to see Jessie. Which is just another horrible situation.”

  “How awful for her to lose her husband. Cam was really shaken up last night after having to tell her and Luke’s brother. Then he had to come here to tell me about Nadia… Sometimes I think he has the worst job in the world.”

  “It boggles my mind. He never wanted to be a rancher because it’s a thankless job, and yet he’s a cop, which is even more thankless.” Skylar squeezed Domini’s hand. “Despite all the bad shit that’s gone down in the last twenty-four hours, I’m—we’re—really glad that Cam came to you last night, Domini. He’s kept his distance from most of his family since returning from Iraq.”

  Domini couldn’t fathom why, but she had more things to worry about than Cam’s sticky family situation. “Is Jessie getting a lot of support from Luke’s family?”

  “No.” Skylar’s face turned hard. “I never understood the riff between Casper McKay and his brothers, but now I see why—that man is a plain mean bastard. Jessie is the sweetest girl in the world, who’s just suffered a huge loss and she doesn’t deserve any of this bullshit about Luke’s stake in the McKay Ranch…” Tears pooled in Skylar’s eyes. “Sorry. I have to get control of myself. The last thing Jessie needs is more angry people around her.” She stood. “Keep in touch. Please.”

  “I will. I promise. Thanks, Sky.”

  Domini had barely closed the door, when she heard, “Mom?” drifting from the bedroom.

  She took a deep breath and wandered in to the room and perched on the edge of the bed. “Hey. You hungry? I’ve got cookies.”

  Anton had a death grip on his fleece blanket. “Where’s my mom? Is she coming to get me soon?”

  Domini swallowed a sob. “No, sweetling, your mom had an accident, remember?”

  He stared at her. Confused. “I thought it was a bad dream.”

  “No, I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not fair.”

  “I know it’s not. And I know just how you feel.”

  Angrily, he said, “Oh yeah? How do you know?”

  “Because when I was eleven both my parents died.”

  His mouth made an O of surprise. “Where did you live after they died?”

  In hell. She swept the hair from his tearstained cheek and changed the subject. “Are you hungry?”

  Anton shook his head. “Am I gonna live here with you now?”

  “I sure hope so. I’ll do everything I can to keep you with me.”

  He rolled over to face the wall.

  Domini didn’t push. She just stayed with him as he cried himself to sleep once again.

  Four days later…

  With so many people filing in and out of her apartment, Domini considered leaving the door open. But she would’ve triple locked it if she’d known Social Services would darken her doorstep.

  The agency woman resembled every supervisor Domini had dealt with in the Ukraine: older, gray-haired, her sharp eyes were only second to her sharp tongue.

  “Sorry for the l
ack of notice about this visit, Miss Katzinski. The case file from Sheriff Shortbull came to us late.”

  Had Cam played a part in delaying the information? Probably not. Since that would’ve been wrong, and Deputy Cam McKay always did the right thing. “I’ve been expecting this visit.”

  “Well, then, let’s get straight to the point. Anton DeMarco is currently in your care, following the death of his mother, Nadia DeMarco and his father, Rex DeMarco. Do you consider this a temporary arrangement?”

  “No. I intend to file for permanent legal custody of Anton.”

  “And what of the boy’s father? Rex DeMarco has no surviving relatives that might be interested in retaining custody?”

  “I’m not certain. But I do know that Anton’s mother retained sole custody in the divorce, which was not contested by Rex.”

  “I see. And what was your relationship to Nadia DeMarco?”

  “She was my best friend. We were housemates for a couple years. During that time I helped take care of Anton.” I helped her raise Anton.

  “What is your occupation?”

  “I’m general manager of Dewey’s Delish Dish, a family restaurant. It’s right downstairs.”

  “How long have you lived in Sundance, Miss Katzinski?”

  “Almost four years.”

  “Do you own property in Sundance?”

  What did that have to do with anything? “No.”

  “Where did you live previous to moving to Wyoming?”

  “Denver, Colorado.”

  “How long were you in residence in Colorado?”

  “Three years.”

  “Where did you live previous to Denver?”

  “Lubbock, Texas.”

  “How long were you in residence in Texas?”

  “Six months.”

  “Where did you live previous to Lubbock?”

  “Miami, Florida.”

  “How long were you in residence in Florida?”

  “Six months.”

  “Where did you live previous to Miami?”

  “Charleston, South Carolina.”

  “How long were you in residence in South Carolina?”

  “Six months.”

  “Where did you live previous to Charleston?”

  “Hershey, Pennsylvania.”

  “How long were you in residence in Pennsylvania?”

  “Six months.”

  “Where did you live previous to Hershey?”

  “Cincinnati, Ohio.”

  “How long were you in residence in Ohio?”

  “Six months.”

  “Where did you live previous to Cincinnati?”

  “Chicago, Illinois.”

  “How long were you in residence in Illinois?”

  “Three years.”

  “Where did you live previous to Chicago?”

  “Kharkiv, the Ukraine.”

  “Could you spell that for me, please?”

  Domini did.

  Scribble, scribble.

  “You immigrated to the United States from the Ukraine nearly twelve years ago. You became a naturalized citizen of the United States six years ago. In twelve years you’ve lived…eight places. Is that correct?”

  “Yes.”

  Scribble, scribble.

  “Do you have family in the Ukraine?”

  “No. I was orphaned at age eleven.”

  “Do you have family in Sundance or any of the other seven locales you listed as former residences?”

  “No.” Domini’s hopes were sinking. When faced with the cold hard facts about her nomadic life, even though she had valid reasons for the continual relocation, she felt her chances of keeping Anton were getting smaller and smaller.

  Maybe he belongs with a real family.

  No! She was his family.

  Mrs. Beesman glanced up. “I’d like to speak with Anton now.”

  Domini nodded. She poked her head in the small bedroom and gestured for Anton to come out.

  Anton sat right next to Domini and gripped her hand. He was trying so hard to be brave but his bottom lip quivered and Domini almost lost it.

  “Anton, I’m going to ask you some questions. Be as truthful as you can. If you feel you could be more truthful if we were having this conversation somewhere else, just between you and me, we can stop right now until I can arrange that.”

  She ground her teeth. The boy was seven years old. He still believed in Santa Claus for godsake. How was he supposed to understand the implication Domini might be somehow coercing him?

  “Domini, don’t leave. Don’t make me go somewhere else away from you. Please.”

  “I won’t, sweetling. I’m right here.”

  Mrs. Beesman’s questions for Anton were neutral. But when she asked him why he thought Domini wanted custody of him, he simply said, “Because she loves me and she already knows how to take care of me.”

  Domini didn’t bother to hide her tears.

  Just like that the interview ended and Mrs. Beesman bustled out.

  Neither she nor Anton spoke for a while. When he started swinging his feet—a nervous habit he’d always had—she knew something bothered him. “Hey, buddy, what’s going on in that smart head of yours?”

  “I think I told her a lie.”

  Fear skittered down her spine. “About what?”

  “About when she asked why you wanted me.”

  “You said exactly the right thing, the true thing. I do love you. I do know how to take care of you.”

  His blue eyes filled with such confusion and pain her heart nearly stopped. “But do you think I shoulda told her that you want me because no one else does?”

  Those broken words sent her heart plummeting to her toes. “Don’t ever say that. Don’t ever think that. Anyone would be thrilled to have you, but I don’t want to give anyone else a chance because I want you most of all, understand?”

  He nodded. He crawled into her lap, clinging as if he were afraid to let her go. She understood the feeling.

  Not for the first time, Domini thought if the court ruled against her for custody of this sweet, needy little boy, she’d take Anton and run.

  And she had a sneaking suspicion Mrs. Beesman from Social Services had come to the exact same conclusion.

  ***

  Cam hadn’t seen Domini for days and he was going insane.

  Before they’d hooked up, Cam had seen Domini every day. Sometimes twice a day. He wasn’t about to walk away when he’d come to terms with how he felt about her.

  In addition to setting up Nadia’s memorial service, Domini was taking care of Anton fulltime. He’d dealt with his cousin Luke’s funeral and all the family shit that went along with it, which reminded him why he tended to avoid all that unpleasantness.

  Might not be PC, but Cam could give a crap how Anton reacted to him being at Domini’s place. Far as he was concerned, the kid better get used to seeing him.

  Cam knocked twice. The fifteen-second wait for her to unlock the door was excruciating. Then Domini, his sweet, beautiful, wonderful Domini, stood in front of him, close enough to touch, close enough to kiss. He hugged her hard, kissed her hard and was totally hard.

  “Come in the kitchen. You hungry? There’s leftover casserole.”

  “No. I don’t have much of an appetite lately.”

  Domini brought them both a beer. He was a little surprised when she parked herself on his lap.

  They stayed that way, not speaking, just being together. Cam had never known anyone as comfortable with silence as Domini. He’d never known anyone like Domini period.

  This awful week without her had just reinforced the truth: Cam was totally head over heels in love with her. Nothing had ever felt so real, so right.

  Too bad his timing was all wrong. Domini had so many life changing events to get through, he didn’t want to burden her with his declaration of love. When the time was right, he’d blurt out everything in his heart. Every sappy thing.

  “Cam?”

  He leaned back to l
ook at her. “Sorry, I was kinda spacing out. What did you say?”

  “I—I…”

  “What’s wrong?”

  She fingered the necklace he’d given her. “Come to bed with me. Please. I know you can’t stay, but I need to be with you, even for a little while.”

  Touched by her sweet hesitation, Cam clasped her hand and directed her to the bedroom, locking the door behind them.

  She stripped. She helped him strip. She left his prosthesis on and pushed him on his back. After she straddled him, she ran her hands up the insides of his arms and pinned his arms above his head.

  “My way,” she said and kissed him.

  Holy shit did Domini kiss him. Seductively. Wantonly. Relentlessly. She licked and bit his lips as her tongue tasted and teased. Her kisses destroyed him, turning him into a raging beast; her caresses tamed him into a junkie who craved her touch. His body burned from the light stroke of her fingertips over his skin. He bowed up from the silken rasp of the pads of her thumbs across his nipples. The bite of her nails into his scalp stung as she held him in place and kissed him stupid.

  Domini locked her gaze to his. She grasped his cock and impaled herself in one deep stroke.

  She kept the pace fast enough to excite but slow enough to tantalize. When she whispered, “Put your hands on me and help me ride,” Cam gritted his teeth against the urge to flip her on her back and fuck her through the mattress.

  But he let her choose the pace. He let her love him with the desperation they both felt. Domini didn’t drag it out; she took them both to the brink and kicked them into sweet ecstasy.

  “I needed that,” she panted against his throat.

  I needed you.

  Domini kept touching his body, as if trying to memorize his shape. Then she sighed and nestled deeper into him. “I could fall asleep like this.”

  “We’ll have to try it sometime.” He stroked her back and waited for her get whatever was bugging her off her chest.

  “Cam, can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.”

  “I mean, I’d understand if you’d say no—”

  “Just ask me.”

  She blew out a breath. “Will you come to the lawyer’s office with me tomorrow?”

  “What time?”

  “Two o’clock.”

  He was pretty shocked she’d asked him because she never asked him for anything. “I’ll be there.”