From Here To Maternity: A Second ChancePromoted to MomOn Angel's Wings

by Tara Taylor Quinn

  “Veterinarians are open on Christmas Day?”

  “Emergency veterinary care is. Christmas Day has always been hard for her and she prefers to work.”

  “Why?”

  So this was it—time to make a decision about how vulnerable I wanted to be. Yet if I didn’t take this step, how could I expect Braden to?

  After I picked up a throw pillow and held it to my chest, I tried to keep my explanation simple. “When Jenny got married, all she wanted was a family…all her husband wanted was a family. She’s four years older than I am and I was in college then. A year into her marriage she got pregnant. She and Bill were so happy. The baby was due around December eighteenth and they planned to name a little girl Noel or a little boy Nicholas. But Jenny went into labor prematurely and…then the baby was stillborn.” The pillow didn’t seem to be nearly enough protection over my heart.

  All of Braden’s attention was riveted on me now. “I’m sorry. It must have been a devastating time for her.”

  I swallowed hard and shoved the pillow aside. “It was. She went into a serious depression afterward, but I think some of the reason for that was Bill’s attitude. That baby had meant the world to him, and he wanted Jenny to try to get pregnant again right away. But she couldn’t even contemplate it. Bill was determined to be a father, and if he couldn’t do it with Jenny, then he was going to do it with someone else. He asked her for a divorce.”

  I felt Braden shift beside me, but he remained silent and listened.

  Pushing my hair away from my face, I remembered that year all too well. “I spent that summer with her, and by the end of it, she’d decided to earn her veterinary degree. But she never got over losing the baby, and every year when Christmas rolls around, she makes sure she’s busy.”

  “And you witnessed all this firsthand?”

  “A lot of it. I was home on break and at the hospital with her through her labor. Bill was her coach but she wanted me there, too. After the baby died, I could feel Jen’s pain. It scared me.”

  As if Braden had just fit the pieces together, he said in a husky voice, “That’s why you balked when I said I wanted to get married and have a family right away.”

  “That was part of the reason,” I admitted.

  “Why didn’t you tell me that?”

  “What would you have said if I had? That I’m not my sister and I shouldn’t worry because statistics are on my side? That the joy of having a family is worth the risk?”

  Looking troubled, his brows drew together. “I might have said some of those things.”

  “And maybe you’d have gotten angry when I wouldn’t listen to you? When I wouldn’t agree?”

  Frowning, he shook his head. “I’m not your sister’s husband. What makes you think men are so inflexible?” He suddenly stopped, maybe realizing how inflexible he’d been. Then going in a different direction, he returned the focus to me. “Why have you worked so hard to succeed?” he asked again as if the answers I’d given before hadn’t satisfied him. “Why do you want this promotion so badly?”

  I felt as if I was exposing too much. But making love with Braden had left me completely vulnerable and thinking about second chances. If he could understand why I wasn’t willing to push my goals aside in favor of his, would we be a step closer to a compromise?

  All at once, our whole conversation seemed too big…too important…too overwhelming. “Would you like something to drink?” I asked.

  “I’d like the answers to my questions. Are you trying to avoid them?”

  His gaze was piercing and this time I knew he wouldn’t leave until he got the answers he wanted. “I’m not avoiding them. I’m just postponing answering for a few minutes.”

  “Fair enough.” He relaxed against the sofa and was looking at me differently. As if we had a bond again? Had sex done that? Or had the revelation of my fears?

  The coffee brewed quickly and as I stood in the kitchen pouring it into a mug for him, I felt the inexorable pull toward Braden and everything he represented—dreams, a home, stability. Wasn’t that what I’d always wanted?

  Yet, I wanted more, too.

  “How about ice cream?” I called in. “I’ve been craving raspberry ripple and I bought a half gallon.” Knowing Braden, he might have tasted food at the Tin Roof in the beginning of the evening, but then he’d gotten caught up in the people there.

  “Sure. Have you had any other cravings?”

  “Not pickles.” I wrinkled my nose. “Peanut butter, cream-filled doughnuts, cheesecake and waffles with maple syrup.”

  When he laughed, I loved the sound of it. It was deep and rich and hearty, and I remembered again all the good times we’d had.

  “Sounds to me as if this baby’s going to like sweets.”

  “Or maybe I’m just craving fat,” I admitted as he came into the kitchen to fetch his ice cream and coffee.

  “You don’t have any to spare on you. That could be why.”

  The way Braden’s eyes were caressing me, I almost dropped my bowl of ice cream. Often after we’d made love, he’d run his hands over my breasts and—

  Cutting off that train of thought, I explained, “Except for the cravings now and then, I’m eating healthy and take long walks a few times a week. I want to make sure I do everything right for this baby.”

  When he came a few steps closer to me, he pushed my hair away from my cheek, then ran his thumb from my temple to my chin. I could have purred from the gentleness of his touch.

  “You aren’t your sister,” he assured me, understanding my fears.

  I wanted to dive into his chest and let him tell me everything was going to be all right. Yet I didn’t really want a protector. What I needed from Braden was so much more than that.

  “I know,” I replied softly. “But I’m still afraid. There’s a reason I haven’t told my parents or Jenny I’m pregnant. What if something goes wrong?”

  His arms encircled me and drew me close. Yes, we were attracted to each other. Yes, my body was tingling to repeat what had happened earlier. Now, though, for these few moments, only tenderness emanated from Braden, a tenderness that had urged me to fall in love with him.

  Before that tenderness turned into passion, he leaned away and dropped his arms. Then he picked up his ice cream and his mug of coffee and headed to the sofa. As I followed him, I hurt again for what we’d had and what we’d lost.

  He took a few swallows of coffee. “So why do you want to become vice president of sales?”

  “This isn’t simply about becoming vice president of sales.”

  He was listening and waiting.

  After a spoonful of ice cream, I began, “My mom met my dad the summer after she graduated from college. She had a scholarship to go to med school but she had to work that summer to earn more money.”

  “How did they meet?” Braden asked, possibly guessing where this was going.

  “At a barbecue given by a mutual friend. My dad is seven years older than my mom and he dazzled her…or his maturity and his vision of the future did. By the end of the summer they’d decided to get married. So, of course, she didn’t accept the scholarship, because my dad would have been too far away. They were in love and she wanted to be with him. I think she always intended to earn her degree somehow, but then she got pregnant. My dad insisted that raising kids was more important than becoming a doctor.”

  “Did your mom believe that?”

  “I think she did. Then. But after Jen and I were in school, she sent for college catalogs again. When he saw them, Dad insisted he could use her help in his business.”

  “And she didn’t take another look at the catalogs,” Braden guessed.

  “Oh, I think she looked at them, and that was the sad part. When I was in my teens, she sent me to the cedar chest in her bedroom for a tablecloth. They had invited business guests of my dad’s for supper. There I saw the catalogs and the pages turned back. The next day I asked her about them.”

  Braden’s gaze on mine urged
me to go on.

  “I’d never seen her look quite as she looked when she answered me. Tears came to her eyes and she seemed so…resigned. She told me she’d put her dreams aside for my father’s, because she couldn’t have both med school and a marriage. I asked her if Dad had ever encouraged her to go back to school. Almost resentfully she told me, ‘He didn’t think I needed to expand my horizons. He expected me to do what he wanted.’”

  I’d lost my appetite for the ice cream and I set the bowl on the coffee table.

  “What would have happened if she’d enrolled in college again after you were grown?”

  “I don’t think she had the courage to find out. I think she was afraid that if she didn’t do what my father wanted, that would be the end of their marriage.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “I know how forceful my dad is. I know my mom always gives in to him. I know as I was growing up I always felt a distance between them. I don’t know if that was resentment on her part, or an unwillingness to bend on his. I just know that after my conversation with her, I vowed never to let a man run my life or kill my dreams.”

  While we were talking, Braden had set his ice cream aside and held on to his mug of coffee. Now he leaned toward the coffee table, set the mug down, too, and faced me on the sofa. “I understand that you have plans and aspirations. But a child changes them.”

  “I’m not sure a child has to change them.”

  Braden ran his hand through his hair, looking frustrated, as if there were a whole book of things he’d like to say. Yet apparently he knew all of them might push me away rather than change my mind. “When I came here earlier tonight, I didn’t intend to have sex with you. I mean, it wasn’t a calculated move.”

  If I didn’t know that earlier, I knew it now. I trusted that he was telling me the truth because Braden had always told me the truth. I needed more of it. “The woman I saw tonight…”

  “I can read the question in your mind, and the answer is—we weren’t intimate.” After he studied me, he asked, “Is there a possibility you’ll stay in Galloway?”

  Although it was silly, my heart was singing because he hadn’t made love to the redhead. Tonight was changing my perspective on everything and I answered him honestly. “I don’t know. This meeting with Charlie tomorrow morning…I’m going to tell him I’m pregnant. Natural Beauty could rescind the promotion offer.”

  “So you’d stay here by default?” Braden swung around to face the coffee table as if not expecting an answer.

  We’d been as close as a man and woman could be a few hours before, but now I felt as if Braden and I were separated by a chasm. Still I wanted him to know I wasn’t cutting him out of my decision making. “Did you look at those pamphlets you took along?”

  “Yes, I did.”

  I slid closer to him and laid my hand on his arm. “What do you think?”

  “I think you should have the AFP test since it’s simply a blood test and then have the ultrasound. If anything questionable shows up, then consider amniocentesis. You already have fears about losing this baby. Don’t add to them.”

  “That’s what I’ve decided.”

  Taking my face in his hand, he asked me somberly, “Did you really need my feedback?”

  Whenever he touched my face, I felt so cared for. Somehow I spoke around the lump in my throat. “Yes, I did. If you had felt strongly about the amniocentesis, I would have reconsidered.”

  While he studied me, I wondered what he was thinking.

  Dropping his hand, he stood. “I’d better go.”

  Quickly rising to my feet, too, I walked him to the door, wishing he’d stay. I longed for him to hold me through the night, yet I knew that wasn’t the answer to anything.

  “Good luck with the restaurant opening tonight,” I told him.

  “Do you have plans?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “If I’m awake, I’ll call Jenny and we’ll watch the ball drop together.”

  When he tipped my chin up, I wasn’t sure what to expect. His lips were fiery and taut and hungry on mine. Then he pulled back and walked away.

  I still loved Braden, and yet loving him could break my heart.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  MY STOMACH TWITTERING with anxiety, I picked up the phone to call Braden. By the end of the first week in January, I’d learned what the CEO of Natural Beauty thought of my pregnancy.

  “Galloway.”

  When Braden answered I immediately remembered every detail of making love with him again…his compassionate expression as I’d told him about my family…

  “Hi. It’s April.” Not wanting to plunge right in with news Braden might not like, I asked, “Did the opening go well?”

  “I think it went great. Lots of people who came for New Year’s Eve also stopped in for dinner this week. I matched faces with names from the guest book. I’m drawing residents from Norman, too, and a food critic is scheduled to come in at the end of January. I think he wants to surprise us. By then, everything should be running smoothly. What’s going on with you? Any new cravings?”

  Our conversation was so surfacely casual, my stomach sank. I’d thought about Braden every day. Had he thought about me at all? Had he thought about second chances and risk and being more than coparents?

  “I told Charlie about my pregnancy and he had a conference call with Frank Temple.”

  “And?” Braden prompted, his voice wary.

  “And it seems they’ve never had anyone in exactly this position before. They still think I’m the right person for the job in L.A., but they want to make sure I’m committed to it. If I am, I can start on schedule and work with the present vice president of sales. He can stay on an extra eight months before he retires, which would give me three months at home with the baby.”

  “Then what?” Braden asked.

  “I’d have to hire a nanny or find day care.”

  At Braden’s silence, I knew he was restraining his response.

  “Anyway, in the meantime before I start training a replacement, Frank wants me to fly to California for two to three weeks to see exactly what my job there would entail.”

  “What about flying during your pregnancy?” Braden asked.

  “I checked with my doctor. As long as I’m in a pressurized cabin, it’s fine.”

  “I don’t think you should go.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re pregnant! You’re trying to operate as if this is business as usual, and it’s not. You need to take care of yourself.”

  “You think I’d do a better job of that if I’m here, or do you think you can do a better job of that if I’m here?”

  “Is it so wrong for me to want to watch over you?”

  There was a gentleness to his words that took the wind out of my sails as nothing else could. “You have to trust me to find a balance. I need to spend this time in California to really get a taste of the lifestyle and the offices and the people who work there. This will also give me the opportunity I need to see exactly what the job is going to encompass.”

  “You’re gathering information for an informed decision?” he asked wryly.

  “Something like that. I’ll be leaving on Tuesday and I just wanted to let you know.”

  Silence fell over the line again, lasting until Braden asked, “Are you working tomorrow?”

  This weekend I was sorting through closets. I’d postponed my appointment with the movers and planned to set up a new time with them when I returned from L.A.

  “No, I’m not working this weekend.”

  “I want to show you something. Why don’t I pick you up around nine.”

  “What do you want to show me?”

  “I’m thinking about buying a house and I’d like you to see it.”

  His words shook me a little. While I was flying off to California, he would be putting down deeper roots here.

  “Nine is fine.” A few seconds later, after I’d hung up, I thought about the trip some more and a
bout everything I had to do before I left.

  Then I thought about Braden buying a house. The statement he was making was clear—he wasn’t going anywhere.

  TENSION PRACTICALLY buzzed between us the following morning as we drove about a mile out of Galloway. I glanced over at Braden. “When did you first look at this house?” I asked.

  “I went through it twice last week.”

  If he’d gone through it twice already, then he was really interested. “Is it new?”

  “It’s about ten years old. It sits on three acres and has been well kept.”

  When we turned down a secondary road, I saw trees dotting the properties we drove past—amur maples, tall oaks, red cedar. Soon after we passed a ranch-style house, we came to a mailbox at the end of a lane. Braden slowed, then turned onto the gravel.

  We pulled in beside a blue sedan that was parked in front of a two-car garage. A woman my age climbed out of the car and came over to greet us.

  After introductions, she said to Braden, “I’ve opened it for you. Take as long as you want to look around. I have a meeting with another agent and I’ll be back to lock up.”

  As the agent pulled out of the driveway, my gaze fell on the house once again. It was charming. A courtyard wrapped around the front of the house and a wide, wrought-iron gate beckoned to us. The exterior was sturdy two-tone brown brick and the roof was low-pitched like the roofs on so many Oklahoma homes. It looked huge from the outside and I wondered how big it actually was.

  “Come on,” Braden said with a smile. “Let’s explore.”

  Explore a life we could have together? If I stayed in Galloway, maybe that would be possible.

  As we walked along the flagstone path across the courtyard to the front door, I imagined us living here and caring for our baby. I could imagine it so easily. Yet was I ready to give up everything I’d worked so hard to accomplish?

  Braden opened the door and let me precede him inside. He was wearing a suede jacket today and as I passed him, I caught the scent of his aftershave along with the smell of leather. I focused my attention on the ceramic-tiled foyer, which stretched ahead of me.

  Motioning to the right, Braden informed me, “This is the living room. It leads into an open dining room.”