“At a time when your parents should have been taking care of you.”
She’d never thought of it like that. Tears prickled her eyes. “I suppose so.”
“No wonder you don’t know how to let someone take care of you,” he murmured. He shifted so she sat between his legs, and he continued to stroke her hair slowly.
Julianne relaxed, rubbed her shoulder against his thigh as she leaned against him. She felt so content she almost purred. She enjoyed these quiet times with Paolo as much as she did the amazing sex. Maybe even more so. Maybe she was even falling in love.
For the first time, she actually believed they could make their relationship work.
“This is so much fun!” Ingrid said as she watched Julianne choose pieces of jewelry to be displayed as wall art as they’d discussed earlier. “What a great idea.”
“You’ll be ready in plenty of time for your grand opening,” Julianne told her. She’d almost been late for her appointment with Ingrid. When Paolo went shopping, he gave it his all, just as he did with everything else. She’d never tried on so many dresses at one time, or felt so attractive and desired as when his gaze caressed her while he studied her in each outfit. He’d ended up choosing three dresses and refused to let her pay for them. He told her she was really buying the dresses for him, so it was only fair.
Ingrid held up a couple more long necklaces. “It’s going to be perfect. Thank you so much!”
“This is the best part of my job,” Julianne said. “Seeing everything come together. Let’s try these two necklaces side by side in this frame.” Ingrid handed her the colorful beads and they leaned over the counter, arranging the jewelry.
The bell rang over the front door.
“I should have locked that,” Ingrid said with a sigh. “Guess the Closed sign wasn’t enough.” She turned and gasped.
“Hello, Ingrid.”
The high-pitched woman’s voice had Julianne turning toward the door. She saw a small blonde striding through the store as if she owned it, dodging the boxes of merchandise spread out on the floor.
Ingrid took a deep breath and stepped in front of Julianne. “Holly? What are you doing here?”
The blonde nodded her head toward Julianne. “Is that her?”
“Go away, Holly.” Ingrid’s voice sounded suddenly tired. “The store’s not open yet and we’re very busy.”
“I just wanted to visit an old friend,” Holly said smoothly.
Julianne picked up the tense undercurrents and wondered what was going on.
Ingrid shook her head. “We were never friends, although our husbands always hoped we would be.”
“So does she know about you? About us? Does she know anything at all? Or has he kept her in the dark?”
“Leave. You have no business here.”
“Someone has to warn her.”
Was this cryptic conversation about her? “What are you talking about?” Julianne asked.
“Hello.” Holly looked her up and down. “The way I hear it, you’re Paolo’s new sub.”
“Where did you hear anything?” Ingrid asked.
“It’s a small world, our world,” Holly said. “I heard all about her. How he’s training her and taking care of her. How he’s turning her into his new little pet.”
A chill ran down Julianne’s spine. “Who are you?”
“He’ll smother you,” she went on as if Julianne hadn’t spoken. “Can’t you tell that already? His domination feels so good at first, but then he becomes so overwhelming that you can’t breathe. You can’t be yourself. He suffocated me and he’ll do the same thing to you.”
“Who are you?” Julianne asked again.
Holly laughed lightly. “He didn’t tell you about me?”
Julianne took a step back. “I don’t know. Who are you?”
“I’m Holly Mancini. Paolo’s wife? You mean he never mentioned he was married?”
Julianne froze. “No.”
Ingrid rushed over to her. “She’s trying to upset you. They were divorced years ago.”
Holly stepped between Ingrid and Julianne. “Did Ingrid tell you she’s married to Paolo’s mentor? The Dom who taught him everything he knows?”
Julianne glanced sharply at Ingrid.
“Did Ingrid tell you that she’s not allowed to wear clothing in her own house? She can’t even sit at the table with her husband. She has to kneel on the floor and eat whatever scraps of food he decides to give her.”
“You know, better than anyone,” Ingrid spat out, “that what happens between two consenting adults is their business. Not yours.”
“She has the right to know,” Holly replied, her chin lifted in defiance. She whirled to look at Julianne. “Has Paolo told you that’s what he’ll want from you too?”
“What? No.”
“It’s the life he’s always wanted. Dom and sub 24/7. He’s never mentioned that to you?”
Julianne swallowed her gasp. She wasn’t going to react to this woman’s obvious desire to cause trouble, but she couldn’t deny Paolo had made no secret of wanting her to submit to him all the time. But what did that really mean to him?
Holly smiled, a tight, evil grin. “I couldn’t spend my life as nothing more than a sexual slave for him. What I wanted was never as important as what he wanted.”
“We talk about everything.”
Holly’s laugh was dark and sarcastic. “Oh sure, you’ll talk, but he’ll tell you what to do. How to feel. How to think. And in the end everything will go the way he wants it to be. He’ll never compromise. Not Paolo. It’s all or nothing with him.”
Julianne’s head began to pound. Hadn’t she always gone along with what Paolo wanted? Hadn’t she always submitted to him?
“He’ll pretend to listen, but he’s a steamroller,” Holly went on. “He’ll go right on doing whatever it is he wants and he’ll expect you to agree to it.” She shrugged. “If that’s okay with you, then go for it. You’ll lose yourself. He’ll smother you. But maybe you won’t mind being led around on a leash like her.”
“Get out of here or I’ll call the cops to throw you out,” Ingrid said.
“Sure. I’ll go. But you know I’m right, don’t you, Julianne? Why wasn’t Paolo honest with you? Why didn’t he tell you about me? Why didn’t he tell you about the kind of life he wanted with you before he seduced you with that charming dominance he does so well?”
Julianne’s stomach was a mass of knots, her mind whirling with all the things this woman—Paolo’s ex-wife!—told her. She heard a lot of truth in what Holly had said but Julianne said, “I can’t believe you’re telling me all this out of the goodness of your heart.”
“She has no goodness in her heart,” Ingrid said with a sneer.
“Ingrid…those claws of yours are showing.”
“It’s time for you to be honest,” Ingrid said. “You’re right, we are a small group. I’ve heard that you begged Paolo to take you back. Isn’t that the real reason you want to scare Julianne away from him?”
“No.” Holly laughed, but it sounded forced. “Oh, maybe for a moment I thought about the good times with Paolo.” She smirked. “And there were many good times. But once I saw him and talked to him again, I remembered all the bad times. I don’t want him back.”
“More like he didn’t want you back,” Ingrid retorted.
Julianne saw fire flash in Holly’s eyes, but then she shrugged lazily. “I’ve done my part. Remember what I said when you find yourself swallowed up by his charm.” Holly sauntered from the store without a backward glance.
Julianne sank into one of the colorful club chairs that had just arrived the day before.
“Are you all right?” Ingrid asked softly.
Julianne nodded but at the moment she wasn’t sure how she felt.
“I’m going to call Paolo.” Ingrid reached for her phone.
“No. Don’t.” Julianne took a deep breath and stood. She didn’t want to see Paolo yet. She had no idea what she’d say
to him right now. “I’ll talk to him later. We have work to do here.” She had to push her jumbled thoughts aside. Focus on the work. It had always helped before. It was who she was. It was her real life.
“All right, but do you want to talk about any of the things she said? You can ask me anything. Paolo has never talked to me about your relationship, so I don’t know what you do together. I don’t need to know. I want you to know I’m here if you want to talk.”
Julianne sank back down into the chair. “I’m in love with him. At least I think I am.” She was certain she was, even after everything Holly had said.
“That’s wonderful. I think you are good for each other.”
“I hope so. But it’s so complicated. How do you do it? How do you be a wife and a sub?”
Ingrid looked at her in confusion. She shrugged. “It’s not complicated. Richard and I love each other. We make each other happy. What’s more simple than that?”
“I don’t know. It’s just…”
“Don’t think about what Holly said.” She sat down beside Julianne. “What we do in the privacy of our home is no one else’s business. Just as what you and Paolo do together. Or any other couple, whether they are dominant and submissive or completely vanilla or anywhere in between.”
“I don’t know how to be what he wants me to be.”
Ingrid smiled. “Maybe you already are.”
Was she?
“How do you trust what you feel for Richard? How do you know it’s not just submitting?”
Ingrid frowned. “I have a brain in my head. So do you. We may love to submit to our dominating men, but they aren’t going to make us to do anything we don’t want to do. That’s what safe words are for, right? And I’m willing to bet there are things Paolo has wanted to do that you haven’t agreed with.”
Julianne didn’t have to think long. “He’s wanted to move my business out of my apartment since we first met. Gave me all sorts of reasons why I should spend all that time and money when I’m happy where I am. I didn’t agree and he promised not to interfere with my business.”
“See. You aren’t brainless just because you’re submissive. And he’s not a bully.” Ingrid pulled Julianne into a warm embrace. “We know our minds and we know our hearts. Never doubt it.”
Julianne was still thinking about all Ingrid had said as she dressed for the fancy dinner that night with Paolo. So much had changed since that first dinner date, back when she thought all she wanted was a couple hot sessions of bondage sex. What did she want now?
But when Paolo stepped into the bedroom, she knew what she wanted. Her heart swelled with her love for him. She trusted her heart.
“Are you all right, cara?”
She realized she was frozen in place. “I’m great,” she told him and stepped into his arms. He gathered her close and she smiled into his soft suit jacket, inhaled the scent she would always recognize as his. “Mmm. You feel good. You smell good.”
“Careful, cara, or we will never make it to the restaurant.”
“Well…” She rubbed up against him.
“Later,” he said with a chuckle. She looked up at him and he stroked her hair back from her face. “We have a reservation. Jack is waiting with the car.”
She sighed. “Okay.”
Paolo stepped back, cupped her face with both hands. “If you do not want to go to dinner, I can cancel the reservations. I can send Jack away.”
And Holly said he would never compromise. She didn’t know him at all. Julianne smiled. “I’d love to go out to dinner with you.”
“Good.” He ushered her out the door, locked it behind them. He pulled her close before they headed down in the elevator, then leaned in to whisper, “You can look forward to being tied to the bed later on.”
“Mmm.” She didn’t even mind that it sounded like a purr.
“In fact, on the way to the restaurant, if you like, I can tell you about all the things I plan to do to you after dinner.”
She shivered. When they were settled in the car, she said, “I think I’d rather not know what you have planned for later.” She’d come to accept that about herself. She didn’t have to control everything. She could trust Paolo. And she could trust herself.
“All right.” He took her hand, kissed her knuckles the way she loved him to do. “I am so glad to have met you, cara. So glad to have you in my life.”
“I love you,” she said. The words flowed so easily. Her conversation with Ingrid came to mind. Maybe she’d been making it too difficult. Maybe it was this simple. “You make me so happy.”
He caught her face in his hands. “Oh, Julianne, you have made me a happy man.” He kissed her hard and fast. “I am in love with you too.”
“You are?” She placed her hands over his and kissed him back.
“I think I have loved you from the moment I met you,” he told her, the words caressing her soul. “I love everything about you. Your bravery. Your creativity and intelligence. Your sense of humor. Even your stubbornness. I love all of you.”
She smiled and settled back against the seat, leaned against his strong shoulder. This could work out. It would work out. They made each other happy, what else mattered?
Paolo commanded attention as they walked through the dining room, but Julianne had become accustomed to it. She was proud that her Paolo was the kind of man people noticed. That he was the kind of man who made her feel edgy and safe at the same time. A man she trusted enough to give up her control and just experience life.
“Have you thought any more about moving in with me?” he asked after the wine had been poured and their orders taken.
“Yes. I’ve been thinking about it,” she said carefully. Paolo lifted a brow, waiting for her to go on. She took a deep breath. Holly’s words still slithered through her mind. “Does this mean you want a 24/7 D/s relationship?”
“You are thinking too much again, cara,” he said softly. “It means I want more of what we have had for the past week. Is that not what you would like as well?”
She was still trying to make it too difficult. “Yes. That’s what I want too.” She slid her fingers against his. “Yes. I’ll move in with you.”
“I was certain you would agree, but am so glad to hear the words coming out of your lovely mouth.”
“But I’m going to have to figure out what to do with my business.” She hadn’t had time to give it any thought yet, worried too much about the personal side. “Maybe I’ll keep it there. I can spread out into the rest of the apartment. I’ll have tons of space.”
“I have that all taken care of,” Paolo said smoothly. “The office space on the second floor of the Warehouse I told you about is still open. I’ve arranged movers to take everything in your workroom to the office space.”
Julianne froze, the glass of Chardonnay halfway to her lips.
“They will then take the rest of your things to my apartment. You won’t have to worry about a thing, cara.”
She held the stem of her wine glass so tightly she thought it might break. “I suppose you have arranged to have someone run my business as well so I can sit at your feet and be your pet?”
He frowned. The look of confusion on his face might have been amusing if she wasn’t so furious. “What are you talking about?”
“She was right. A steamroller.”
“Julianne. Tell me what is wrong.”
“What’s really wrong is that you have no idea what’s wrong.” She set the glass down carefully before she actually broke it. “I told you I didn’t want to move my business. But you arranged to do it anyway. Without my permission. Without consulting me.”
His expression grew darker. If she didn’t know him, she’d almost be afraid. “I am consulting you now.”
“After the fact. It doesn’t matter what I say, does it? You tell me we’ll talk about everything, but then you do what you want anyway.”
“Lower your voice.”
She glanced around, saw that she’d drawn the attent
ion of some of the other diners. “I knew it wouldn’t work out. I’d hoped it would, but she was right. You’re overwhelming. Overpowering.”
“She? Who is this you are speaking of?”
“Why didn’t you tell me you’d been married, Paolo?”
His eyes widened, then he frowned. “I see. You talked to Holly.”
“Yeah. She’s a bitch but she has your number, doesn’t she?”
“Julianne, I am not trying to…what word did you use…steamroll you. I was taking care of the details. Making the arrangements. The decisions. Isn’t that what you wanted from me?”
“Not when it’s about my life!”
He recoiled as if she’d struck him. “Your life? You have not been living your life with me all these weeks?”
“No. I guess not.” Her chest ached but she had to stay strong. “It hasn’t been real. It’s been a fantasy. A space out of time, but it’s over. I can’t live with someone like you.”
“Someone like me?” he repeated dully.
“Yeah.” She choked back the tears she thought she’d been too angry to cry.
Paolo waved for the waiter. “This is not the place to discuss this.”
“Discuss? I can talk all I want, but it won’t change anything, will it?”
His face clouded. “I am not going to discuss this further here. I am taking you home.”
He hadn’t heard a word she said, or if he had, he obviously didn’t care. “Oh hell no.” Julianne gulped down the rest of the wine in her glass and slammed it down on the table. “Chardonnay, Paolo. Do you hear me? Chardonnay. This time, no means no.”
“I see.” Paolo sat back in his chair, looked at her as if he’d never seen her before in his life. A chill ran over her from the hard look on his face. “I’ll tell Jack to take you back to your apartment.” He spoke softly into his phone while Julianne wondered how it had all gone bad so fast.
But hadn’t she known it would come to this? Hadn’t she known this relationship was too much like her parents’? Even if they loved each other, this was too fundamental. Too uneven. The fear of it ending this way had always been lurking in the back of her mind.
Paolo finished his call and ran his gaze over her, dark and cold at the same time. “He’s out front, waiting for you.” He picked up his glass of red wine, lounged back and took a sip, making it clear he was staying right where he was. That if she wouldn’t let him have everything his way, he didn’t want her. “Goodbye, Julianne.”
Playing for Real: Paolo's Playhouse, Book 5 Page 12
