Wanted: One Mommy

by Cathy Gillen Thacker

  She wanted him and he wanted her, too. So badly. Hands under her hips, he lifted her. She wrapped her legs around his waist, showing him how well they fit, enveloping him in a way that felt so right, engendering a need within both of them that felt so incredible and real it would not be denied.

  Caroline had known making love would deepen their relationship. She hadn’t expected that the raw power and the beauty of the physical act would cause her to open up her heart and her soul in a way it had never been before. But that was exactly what was happening.

  She was in love with Jack. Head over heels in love with him. So it was no surprise how much this meant to her. No stopping the abandon that overtook her whenever he held her in his arms. No fighting the free-falling ecstasy that filled her heart and warmed her soul as the fire between them burned hotter and hotter.

  In three short weeks, Jack had become everything to her. The mate she had always wanted, the friend and companion she needed, the protector and lover she had to have.

  There was no more denying it, Caroline thought, as together they surged toward new heights. The two of them belonged together, not just for now, but for all time.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “This is shaping up to be one fantastic wedding,” Jericho remarked as he added the finishing touches to the ten-tiered dulce de leche wedding cake and the chocolate Kahlua groom’s cake.

  “I have to admit,” Caroline said, “it’s turning out better than I could have dreamed.” The photographer and reporter from Fort Worth magazine had arrived early and were busy chronicling every aspect of the wedding, down to the tiniest detail.

  Jack had spent the morning alternately riding herd on Maddie and Bounder, which was no easy feat. Both were incredibly excited about their upcoming trip down the aisle.

  Dutch and Patrice were behind closed doors, in their respective motor homes, getting ready for the ceremony with the help of their eight attendants.

  Meanwhile, a solid line of cars was turning onto the festively decorated lane leading to the wedding site.

  Some two hundred and fifty guests had already arrived and were seated in the white folding chairs on the brilliant green lawn. Colorful Cinco de Mayo banners waved in the wind, and whiskey barrels overflowing with Texas wildflowers added additional color along the aisles and in every nook and cranny. A mariachi band was playing traditional love songs of both Texas and Mexico, while a bevy of traditional dancers was dressed and ready to perform at the reception.

  “And,” Jericho continued, “it looks like the son of the bride has a thing for you.”

  Caroline flushed. Although she and Jack had been up most of the night making love, they had been so focused on their dual responsibilities, the two had barely spent any time together since. She watched Jericho pipe on a delicate wildf lower border of Texas bluebonnets across the bottom of the cake. “Where did you get that idea?”

  Jericho’s dreadlocks bounced against his shoulder as he worked. “Honey, I know two people in love when I see them.”

  Caroline knew she was in love. Jack, on the other hand, had never put his feelings into words.

  “His daughter, Maddie, and that pup of hers seem to adore you, too.”

  That was true, Caroline thought.

  “Although,” Jericho declared, straightening, and changing out pastry tubes, “I think people who put dogs in ceremonies are crazy.”

  “Bounder is very well behaved.” Except, Caroline added mentally, remembering her still-skinned knees, when she sees a rabbit. Fortunately, Caroline hadn’t seen any hopping around the ranch. Maybe the storm had scared them all away? Or simply too much commotion?

  “Famous last words,” Jericho intoned, going back to work to fix a slightly lopsided green leaf made out of frosting.

  Caroline felt a little jump of nerves. Her career was riding on a successful outcome today. A positive review would make her the up-and-coming wedding planner to hire. Whereas a negative one…

  “In fact,” Jericho went on, moving to the groom’s cake to make sure all was in order there, too, “judging by the way Dutch and Patrice are interacting with you, you seem to have hit it off with Jack’s entire family.”

  “They’re easy people to get to know,” Caroline replied, watching as her assistant, Sela Ramirez, rode herd on the catering staff setting up for the reception in an adjacent tent.

  “Yeah, well, all I can say, darlin’, is that you make it look easy.”

  Falling in love with Jack, becoming part of his world, felt easy, Caroline thought. In one fell swoop she would have the husband of her dreams, a delightful daughter, an adorable dog and Patrice and Dutch, too. The only problem was, making all her best dreams come true had never been an easy task. All her best dreams had required hard work, dedication and time. A lot more time than she had spent with Jack thus far.

  “Uh-oh,” Jericho murmured, staring at the statuesque redhead gunning straight for Jack. “Who’s that?”

  Laura Tillman, Caroline thought with an inward groan of dismay, the private investigator checking out Dutch.

  JACK ASKED GRADY TO KEEP an eye on his daughter and Bounder, who were both still giddy with excitement over their impending flower girl and flower dog trek down the aisle. He caught Caroline’s eye, indicating he’d like her to join them, then escorted Laura Tillman into the dining tent. The linen-covered tables were set with heavy antique silver, fiesta-colored china, handmade white candles and copper urns of Texas wildflowers. Behind the table, where the bride and groom would sit with their attendants, was a spectacular white wedding piñata, shaped like a leaping deer, hanging from a large wooden post. Twin white satin blindfolds and sticks were placed nearby. It was a clever way to include the traditional breaking of the party piñata, and lent a memorably eclectic touch to a wedding that was both breathtakingly beautiful and rustically Texan.

  “Sorry it took me so long to get here,” Laura said as Caroline walked up to join them. Laura handed over the file. “But I figured you would want to have the information in hand, if you decided to speak to your mother.”

  Jack’s gut twisted. He exchanged apprehensive looks with Caroline, then turned back to Laura. “I take it you know the identity of the mystery woman.”

  The P.I. nodded. “Her name is Maryellen Innes. She’s forty-two years old, has three kids, and is by all accounts very happily married.”

  Beside Jack, Caroline relaxed.

  Laura continued. “She’s also a registered nurse, who specializes in home care. Specifically, dialysis.”

  This, Jack hadn’t expected, nor had Caroline. Dutch looked so healthy. But then, Jack thought, so had his dad when he was diagnosed with ALS. Jack swallowed around the lump of emotion in his throat. “You’re saying…?”

  The P.I. grimaced in frustration. “Medical records are private, protected by law. So it’s impossible to know for sure what was going on between the two. What I can tell you, after further investigation, is that Maryellen Innes has been chatting with Dutch regularly on the phone, and visiting Dutch roughly three times a week at the apartment for four hours at a time, ever since he arrived in Fort Worth several months ago. At-home dialysis takes approximately four hours and is generally scheduled at that interval.”

  “Which means that Dutch could be in kidney failure,” Jack concluded soberly as Caroline reached over and gently touched his arm.

  “It’s entirely possible,” the investigator agreed.

  They all paused to consider that. “If so,” Caroline reflected eventually, compassionate as ever, “it would certainly explain a lot. Dutch’s trip to Houston, his time with the nephrologist. Possibly even the decision to sell all his properties in a hurry, if he needed money for a transplant.”

  “The only way to find that out is to confront Dutch and ask him what his situation is,” the P.I. said. “And again, I’m sorry I couldn’t get this information to you sooner.”

  “I appreciate the hard work,” Jack said.

  The P.I. nodded and exited the tent
.

  Caroline and Jack squared off. “I can see you’re worried,” she said softly, “but I’m sure everything is going to be all right.”

  Jack couldn’t believe she was still cheerleading for Dutch. “It will be, once I talk to my mother and let her know what the situation is,” Jack countered grimly.

  Caroline caught his arm, tugged him back. “It’s one thing for you to do a little sleuthing behind the scenes for your own peace of mind,” she warned, upset. “I get that you needed to know Dutch wasn’t a con artist out to steal your mother’s money. It’s something else entirely for you to try to interfere with or derail your mother’s plans for her life. I know how close those two are. I’ve seen them fall more and more in love with each other with every day that has passed. If Dutch is sick, your mother must know.”

  “And if she doesn’t?” Jack demanded.

  Caroline glanced at her watch. In the foreground, they could hear the musicians switch to a traditional wedding prelude program. “At least go to Dutch first, talk to him,” she pleaded.

  Jack exhaled. “And leave my mother out of the discussion? Isn’t that what your ex-fiancé did? Go behind your back to try and assure a certain outcome?”

  “That’s the point, Jack,” Caroline countered urgently. “You wouldn’t be determining for your mother whether or not she marries Dutch. You would be sparing her the hurt and humiliation of a stalled or cancelled wedding. Because, believe me, having been there and seen that happen to even a small number of brides—it’s nothing I would wish on anyone. Not if it can be at all avoided.”

  The last thing Jack wanted to do was publicly embarrass his mother in front of all her friends, never mind the press! Because Caroline was right about one thing—the cancellation of a wedding of two Texans as well-known as Dutch and his mother would be news. Speculation would abound. Jack couldn’t stand to see his mother suffer any more than what she had already endured. Which was why…

  As if reading his mind, Caroline caught Jack’s hand and held on tight. “I understand how serious this situation is, Jack.” Caroline looked deep into his eyes. “But don’t you see that this is all the more reason to trust in Dutch and in your mother, to believe that your mother is old enough and wise enough to know what she is doing in marrying Dutch?”

  “And if she isn’t?” Jack asked wearily, wishing he had never been put in this situation. But he had been. And he knew what his dad would expect him to do.

  Caroline, however, had other ideas. She squeezed his hand, hard. “I believe in this dream they have of spending the rest of their lives together,” she said passionately.

  Jack wished he could tell Caroline what she wanted, needed to hear from him. He couldn’t. “I don’t have the faith in their judgment that you do,” he countered sadly. “Especially if you’re right, and my mother knows what she is getting into. Because I remember all too vividly the pain of watching my father succumb to a devastating illness. I remember how grief-stricken and vulnerable my mother was at the end, how difficult it was for her to let go, never mind recover.” The ache in his throat matched the unchecked grief deep inside him. “I never want to see her that sad and distraught again.”

  But for Caroline, Jack noted with growing disillusionment, the past—sad as it was—was over. Today was all about the future and the romance of their wedding, the illusion that the ideal happiness of this one exceptionally perfect day would last forever. Unfortunately, hiding from the truth, pretending it did not exist, would help no one. “And that means,” Jack continued, “bad timing or not, I have to talk to my mother and Dutch together.”

  Caroline shook her head at him and stepped back, as if not knowing where to even to begin to argue with him. Scowling, she planted her hands on her hips and stared at him with a mixture of disappointment and disbelief. “You’d really go to them now, twenty minutes before they are to walk down the aisle, and try and ruin things!”

  Why couldn’t Caroline understand he had no choice in the matter? Determined to make her see, Jack weathered Caroline’s incredulity with the same calm deliberation he did everything else. He angled a thumb at the center of his chest and stated flatly, “This is who I am.” And he wouldn’t apologize for it. “I’m the guy with no illusions. The guy who does the things that need to be done even if they are unpleasant.”

  “The guy,” Caroline added to the list with an uncomplimentary look of her own, “who has forgotten how to take the kind of risks that lead to love.”

  What the hell was she talking about! It was his concern for her and his family that had them in this mess! “And it’s also why we can’t be together,” Caroline said.

  Jack hardened his heart against further hurt and disappointment. Forced himself to be reasonable, even if it hurt. “You can’t mean that.” What was going on with Dutch and his mom had nothing to do with them.

  “Yes, Jack, I do,” Caroline said quietly. She trod closer. But not close enough that he could touch her. Sadly, she continued. “I can’t be with someone who has lost the ability to hold a dream in his heart, or honor someone else’s.” Unable to hide her resentment any longer, she leaned toward him. “Because if you could do that, Jack, you would understand why—if Dutch really is sick—that it is more important than ever for him and your mother to be together, and hold on to what time Dutch does have left with everything they’ve got.”

  Intellectually, Jack knew that. He had compassion for Dutch. And yet—he had a family to protect, too. To knowingly and willingly bring on that kind of heartache was something he just couldn’t do. “I can’t pretend to be some gullible kid, Caroline,” Jack countered. “Not after the life I’ve lived. I can’t pretend not to know the pain of living with life-threatening illness, of watching someone you love die, degree by degree.”

  “I’m not asking you to be naive,” Caroline implored in a low, choked voice. “I’m asking you to understand how important it is to support the dreams of others, whether we agree with their goals or not. Because at the end of the day, Jack,” she stressed emotionally, “our dreams are the only thing we have that can lead us to true happiness.”

  “I can’t do that,” Jack said, determined to deal with this situation calmly, even if she wouldn’t. “Not when it comes to my mother and Dutch. Not knowing what I do now.” He couldn’t let his mother walk into a trap.

  Caroline’s jaw took on the stubborn tilt he knew so well. She threw up her hands and sent him a beleaguered smile that matched the turbulent emotion in her eyes. “Then you and I have nothing else to say.”

  He stared at her, incredulous she would let this break them up. “You’re telling me it’s over?” he ascertained in bitter disbelief.

  “And then some.” Caroline gave him one last heartbroken look and walked away.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Patrice and Dutch squared off with Jack in the luxury motor home that up to now had been serving as a dressing room for the bride. Now, it had been cleared of everyone except the three of them.

  To Jack’s consternation, Patrice refused to acknowledge the seriousness of the situation. She elbowed Dutch in the side, as if eliciting a laugh. “It’s a good thing you and I aren’t the superstitious type,” she joked. “Otherwise, our wedding would be doomed.”

  Dutch bent down to kiss his bride lightly on the lips. “In my opinion, it can only be good luck for us to see each other before the ceremony.”

  Patrice turned to Dutch, wrapped her arms around his neck and brought his head down to hers. The two kissed with a lot more passion and verve than Jack had ever expected. In fact, had it not been his mother in the clinch, he would have said, “Get a room!”

  Aware he really did not need to see this, he closed his eyes and ran a hand over his face. Cleared his throat. Loudly. Then heard the chuckling, the rustle of clothing as Dutch and Patrice moved apart.

  Jack opened his eyes and studied his mother and the man who would soon be his stepfather, if all went their way. He wanted to think the two of them weren’t head o
ver heels in lust and in love. Three weeks ago, he was fairly certain that hadn’t been the case. Now…all he knew for sure was that this kind of passion was hard to fake, and even harder to obtain. He could vouch for this because he’d discovered that kind of intense emotion with Caroline. Until today, anyway, when Caroline had resolutely given him the old heave-ho….

  Dutch and Patrice looked at him. “We’re waiting,” his mother prodded impatiently.

  Not sure where to begin, Jack simply handed over the P.I. report regarding the apartment and the visiting registered nurse who had been calling on Dutch three times a week.

  Patrice scanned both documents, then sighed. Her expression unflappable, she sat down on the sofa against the window and patted the place beside her for Dutch. He sat down next to her, and still serious, took her hand in his. Patrice shook her head in dismay, even as she looked deeply into Dutch’s eyes. “I told you Jack would find out your health is not as good as we’d like.”

  Jack paused, not sure what to think. “So you knew?” he asked, incredulous.

  ““That Dutch is on the kidney transplant waiting list?” Patrice scoffed and waved a hand. “Of course. Although if this new clinical trial accepts him as a patient, surgery may not be necessary after all. We’re still waiting to hear from his Houston nephrologist on that. But either way, it doesn’t matter. I told Dutch from the outset, I am in this for the long haul. Whether this new drug rejuvenates his failing kidneys, or he stays on at-home dialysis or opts for a transplant, Dutch is going to need someone by his side and I’m going to be there, Jack, whether you like it or not.”

  Jack studied them. He couldn’t say he was totally surprised about his mother’s generosity. She had always possessed an enormous heart. As well as a very good health insurance plan that—thanks to her lucrative deal with Couture Perfume—would continue for life, for herself and any dependents.