by Joy Redmond
After Nancy had curled the ends, she took a soft bristle brush and lightly ran it through Ali’s hair. “Is that what you wanted?”
Through tears, Ali said, “Perfect, Nancy. Now, Mama Jane will always be with me as long as I don’t break the mirror.” They all laughed, but they all had tears of joy.”
Ali stood and took one last look in the mirror. She fluffed the ends and again, tears welled. “How much do I owe you, Nancy? It’s worth a million dollars but I don’t have quite that much.” She laughed again as she fought her tears.
“You owe me a big hug that’s worth a million and we’ll be even-steven.”
Ali hugged Nancy so hard, Nancy grunted. Then Toots grabbed Ali and hugged her so hard that Ali grunted.
“Toots, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I’ve got other things to do and I really want to go by myself. I’ll come over to see you as soon as I can. Just let me have this day to myself, okay?”
“I understand. Everybody needs a me day. So you get along and do whatever is in your heart. I’ll see you when I can. And you’re beautiful. I hope the boys don’t attack you if you go very far.” Toots laughed and hugged Ali one more time.
Ali hurried out of the beauty shop and headed for the dress shop that she had stood in front of a few times looking at the mannequins and dreaming of the day when she could buy one of the beautiful outfits. “Today is the day,” she said as he pushed opened the door. After she had made her purchases, she left and headed for the Meryl Norman cosmetic store. And the shopping continued.
Ali knew that Sister Bea and Sister Bertha usually left for home at four o’clock, but she didn’t come home until four-thirty, hoping they hadn’t waited for her. She was relieved to find no cars in the driveway.
She entered the house through the back door. Mr. Puss wrapped himself around her legs as she listened for any sound. All was quiet. She quietly crept into her bedroom, where she dropped her shopping bags on the floor. “You stay in here,” she said to Mr. Puss. Then she checked in on Aunt July, who was sound sleep.
“Sleep tight, Aunt July,” she whispered as she turned and went back to her bedroom. Thirty minutes later, Ali stood in front of the floor length mirror. Her mop was gone. She had applied a full arsenal of makeup, and she wore a miniskirt that exposed her bare legs and a tight sweater that showed off her ample breasts, and a pair of red stiletto heels, which took some real practice to balance in as she walked.
Before she left the room, she surveyed her reflection in the mirror—and was startled again to see Mama Jane looking back at her. Ali stood five-foot-one, weighted 102 pounds, and had Mama Jane’s figure: large breasts, a tiny waist, slim hips, and shapely legs. Now she understood why men had always been crazy about Mama Jane.
“I’m no longer a homemade freak! I’m beautiful and sexy.”
Mr. Puss had watched the transformation, and with each action he had purred louder, as if he were her cheerleader and he too thought she was pretty.
Aunt July called out, “Ali, are you here? Come keep me company, dear.”
“Gladly!” Ali said with a smile as she turned and headed for Aunt July’s bedroom, Mr. Puss at her heels.
Aunt July was propped up in bed, her glasses sitting on the end of her nose, reading her bible. She glanced up, then gasped, held her heart, and looked as if she was going to pass out. “J-Jane?” she stammered.
“No, Aunt July, it’s Ali—but there’s an amazing resemblance, huh?”
“Ali?” Aunt July shrieked. “What in heaven’s name? You cut your long hair!” She gasped and continued. “Why are you dressed like a tramp? You go scrub your face and put on some decent clothes!” she yelled, her face crimson with rage—the first color she’d had in months.
Ali twirled a couple times, then said, “I’m Mama Jane to a T, don’t you think? All that’s missing is a cigarette in one hand and a bottle in the other.” She edged closer to the bed and said firmly, “You’re in no position to order me around anymore. The way I see it, the tide has turned. I’ll take care of you, but from now on, you’ll go by my rules—and rule number one is that I’ll dress, talk, and act any way I choose.”
Aunt July broke into loud sobs and her frail body shook. “Oh, Lord, forgive me for failing this child. I love her so much and I tried with all my heart to teach her Your ways. I don’t know what else I could have done. Please forgive me!”
Aunt July’s sobs and prayer took all the enjoyment out of the moment. Ali gazed upon the woman who was merely a skeleton and who had suffered beyond human endurance, and now she had heaped more pain upon her sick aunt. Heart pain was worse than physical pain, Ali knew all too well. She had walked into the room feeling all high and mighty, now she felt like an ungrateful bastard for real. She felt a tear run down her face.
Ali softly whispered, “I’m sorry, Aunt July. You hurt my feelings when you called me a trampy bitch dog, and, well, I guess I went overboard with my rebellion. I’ll scrub my face and put on one of the nice skirts and blouses that you made for me. Please forgive me. I truly did you wrong. And I’ll ask God to forgive me too. Please don’t cry. I’ll be right back.”
Aunt July was still sobbing as Ali left the room.
Ali headed for her bedroom. She picked up Mr. Puss. “I guess that was a big mistake. I was just plain mean. But it feels so good to be me. I’ve got to be patient though. My time will come. But I won’t do that to Aunt July again.”
Mr. Puss meowed softly in agreement.
Chapter Nineteen
By the first week of May, Aunt July was so feeble that she could no longer get out of bed. Ali gave her sponge baths, changed her gowns, changed her bed, and slipped a bedpan under her when she needed to use the bathroom. Ali did her best to get her aunt to eat a few bites. Most days, Aunt July would only drink a few sips of chicken broth and eat a Saltine three times a day.
Ali stacked several pillows behind her aunt’s back so she could sit up and read her Bible. She seemed to be able to breathe better in an upright position.
The church sisters came during school hours, and Ali took over when she came home in the afternoons. Aunt July had moments of clarity and she read her Bible and underlined the parts that she wanted Ali to read. At times she became irritable and lashed out at Ali. At times she had bouts of crying, but for most of the time she wasn’t in pain.
The bottle of Laudanum sat on her bedside table and when she asked for it, Ali handed her the bottle and Aunt July drank it down. No spoon was necessary. Ali made sure that Dr. Tully brought by another bottle when one was getting empty. She also gave her aunt a Demerol pill when the pain seemed to be more than she could bear. Ali hid them in her room so the church sisters wouldn’t find them.
May 12th, Ali came home from school, the church sisters left, and she sat down by her aunt’s bedside. “Are you in a good mood today?”
“What day it is?”
“It’s Friday and it’s also my birthday.”
“Well, happy birthday, honey. Excuse me if I don’t get up and bake a cake. How old are you now? About twelve?”
Ali laughed. “I think I can excuse you for not baking a cake. Now that was funny. See, you do have a sense of humor when you want to use it. And I’m eighteen. I’ve waited for this birthday for a long time.”
Aunt July smiled. “Well, I guess you think you’re an adult now. And according to law, you are. But let me tell you, young lady, you won’t really be an adult before your thirty. You’ve got a lot to learn, but you think you know it all at your age. I know I did.”
“I think I know plenty, but I also know that life has much more to teach me, and I’m anxious to learn. While we’re talking about being an adult, I’d like to discuss something with you. I don’t want to upset you, but I’ve been asked to the senior prom next week and I plan on going.”
“I figured you’d want to go. I’m not going to raise a ruckus about it, but you know I don’t approve of dancing. But since you’re eighteen, I guess I’ll have to let you decide
what’s right and wrong. I’ve done my best to teach you, so the way I see it, it’s up to you. All I ask is that you wear something decent. Is that asking too much?”
“No, it isn’t. I plan on wearing that beautiful blue evening gown that you made for a lady who never did come back for it. It’s perfect. All I need to buy is a pair of heels and I’d like to have them dyed to match. I’ve got money. I’ve saved most all of my allowance and the extra money you paid me for helping you sew and get all the prom dresses ready in time through the years.”
Aunt July’s eyes widened. “But, Ali. That gown is backless, low cut, and those little spaghetti straps just barely hold it on your shoulders. That’s not proper, child!”
“Well, I’ll buy a nice shawl. It’ll cover my back, my chest and most of my arms. I’d like to go shopping tomorrow and see what I can find. And I need to buy my shoes and get them to the shoe shop in time to get them dyed.”
“Well, I don’t approve of those high heels, either, but I know that’s what is worn with evening gowns. So I won’t raise a ruckus about that either. I think you’ll be very pretty. I still hurt every time I see all your beautiful hair gone, but if I want to be honest, the short cut is very becoming to you. You’ll have to pay the price for cutting it. God watches your every move, you know. But at this point in my life I’ve come to accept that I answer for what I’ve done, and the rest of the world can pay their dues. It’s on you, child. I did my best—”
Aunt July feel asleep before she finished her sentence. Ali blew a deep sigh of relief. She was expecting a big fight. For once, Aunt July was making sense about everybody paying their own dues and she was only responsible for her own. Ali didn’t think she had done anything that was against God, except maybe when she let a married man kiss her. But she had asked for forgiveness and she thought things were square between her and God.
May 23th, Ali dressed in the evening gown that she had longed to wear for over two years. It was low cut and her breasts had grown and were spilling over the top. However, she had found a pretty shawl and they would be covered for most of the time. She slipped on her six inch heels that had been dyed to match the gown.
Nancy had shampooed her hair and styled it in a pageboy. She applied her makeup, clipped on a pair of rhinestone earrings and she clasped on the matching necklace. She admired herself in the full length mirror and she was convinced she would be the belle of the ball. She also knew that Todd would be drooling and wanting to kiss her. “One kiss goodnight is all you’re getting,” she said as she picked up her clutch bag.
She walked into Aunt July’s bedroom and whispered, “Are you awake?”
Aunt July fluttered her eyes, shifted her body, and smiled. “You look beautiful. I don’t approve of all that makeup but you seem determined to wear it, so that one is on you too. You’re properly dressed and I’m proud of that much. The shawl was a perfect idea. Now go have fun but don’t let that boy paw all over you.”
“That’s a promise I can keep, Aunt July,” Ali said, then bent and kissed her aunt on the forehead; something she had never done. Aunt July seemed startled, but she smiled and patted Ali’s hand. It was then that Ali remembered Mama Jane’s words, ‘That’s the best you’ll ever get from that old spinster.’ Mama Jane had been right about Grandma, Grandpa and Aunt July. They were cold as ice.
“You know, this is Wednesday and the church sisters won’t be coming. They won’t miss prayer meeting. I won’t be gone more than a couple hours. I’m not going anywhere with the other kids after the prom. Are you sure you’ll be alright until I get home?”
“I’ll be fine. Just give me a little of my medicine.”
Ali handed Aunt July the bottle. She took several gulps. “I think that’ll hold me until you get back. I just hope I don’t have an accident in the bed. I’m not strong enough to get myself on and off of the bedpan.”
“You just used it a few minutes ago. You should be alright. But if you have to go, then just go. I’ll clean you up and change your bed. This night is very important to me.”
“I’ll be fine. Go on.”
Ali picked up Mr. Puss and put him by Aunt July’s head. “You know what to do, big boy. Keep her asleep.”
Mr. Puss began a purr that sounded like a lullaby.
Ali headed to the front door to watch for Todd. When he pulled his car to the curb, she quietly slipped out the door. Todd was opening the passenger door by the time Ali was ready to hoist her long dress and climb inside.
Soon, they arrived at Liberty High. The prom was being held in the huge auditorium.
They walked inside and Todd told Ali that she was the most beautiful girl in the room. Ali looked around and she thought that her gown was in a league of its own. She kept the shawl around her shoulders until it was time to dance. Then off came the shoes and the shawl. Todd couldn’t keep up with her moves, so he stood to the side and just watched her. During one dance, all the students cleared the floor, and Ali put on a show.
When the music ended, Ali walked back to the table where Todd, Toots and Jimmy were sitting. Todd pulled out her chair. “Ali, you’ve got more moves than a checker board. I saw you dance one night at the pavilion, but you outdid yourself tonight. All eyes were on you.”
Toots said, “Well, girl. You finally outshined the whole school. The most beautiful face. A knockout figure. The most beautiful dress. And you put them all to shame with your dancing. Yep, you’re the belle of the ball and then some. You’ll be remembered as the prom dance queen when we have our fiftieth class reunion. You finally got the attention you deserve. And the dagger looks by the jealous are priceless. I love it!”
“Yep, I’ve waited twelve years for this night. And I’ve only just begun,” Ali said and her face glowed brighter than the full moon which was illuminating the sky. Ali didn’t miss a dance. She wasn’t crazy about the slow dances, she wanted to boogie, but she knew it was Todd’s favorite time of the night when he could hold her close and slowly move to the music as he caressed her back.
After the prom all the students had plans to go to parties that were being held at different places and spend the rest of the night whooping it up. Todd wanted to go to a few parties but Ali told him to take her home.
When Todd pulled his car to the curb, Ali said, “I’m sorry about the parties but I have to take care of my aunt. Thanks for being my date for the night. Go to the parties, have fun and I’ll see you later.” She was out of the car before he could lean over for a kiss. She hiked up her long gown, and ran for the front door.
Ali made sure the shawl was wrapped her shoulders, covering her breasts, then headed for her aunt’s room. Aunt July was sound asleep and Mr. Puss was still purring by her head. Ali lifted him and quietly left the room.
She sat on her bed and stroked his fur. “I had the most wonderful night of my life. I got to show my stuff and I was the prettiest girl there—if I might brag a little. Next Friday, I graduate. There will be no holding me back after that. Soon, Aunt July will be gone, then it’s you and me against the world. You hung with me, just like you said you would. Hang a little longer, big boy. The best is yet to come.”
Mr. Puss meowed as if saying, “I’m hanging.”
The following Friday, Ali graduated valedictorian of her class. She accepted her award, looked out at the students, and again she thought, How do you like me now? Not bad for a freak, an outcast, and the town slut at age thirteen. You can all kiss my happy ass!
After Ali graduated, she was the soul caretaker for her aunt. The church sisters came by one night a week to pray over her.
One afternoon, Aunt July asked Ali to get her notebook and a pen and write down every word she said. Ali did as Aunt July asked. When she had her pen poised, Aunt July began with her funeral arrangements. Ali carefully wrote down how her aunt wanted her final farewell.
“I’ve been giving money to Sister Bea for a few years. She’ll pay for the funeral, and pay herself for helping us with transportation and for helping take care of me
. Whatever is left is to be given to you. I’ve made sure that you’ll be well taken care of. You’ve been very attentive to my needs and I owe you that much.”
“I’ll see that your wishes are carried out. I thank you for leaving me a little nest egg to hold me until I can find a job. Now you rest. I’m going to fix us some lunch.”
“I just want to sleep, honey. Just remember, Sister Bea will take care of the expenses.”
And I bet she pays herself a hefty sum for doing what she called her Christian duty, Ali thought as she pulled the covers over her aunt and left the room.
She sat in the living room and held Mr. Puss. I guess we’re house bound until it’s all over, but then we’re used to that, aren’t we? I didn’t plant a vegetable garden this year so we won’t be tending it, but I’ll keep us busy with flower gardening and lawn mowing. I love working in the yard. I love the feeling of putting my hands in fresh earth. Maybe we won’t go completely crazy. Maybe,” she finished with a weary sigh.
One day, Ali was searching for a clean nightgown for Aunt July, but finding no clean ones in the closet, she began opening drawers in the dresser. When she opened the bottom drawer, she found stacks of old cards, letters and pictures.
She sat on the floor, Mr. Puss by her side, and sifted through them until she found a picture of Mama Jane and Aunt July standing in Grandma and Grandpa’s front yard. She tore away the image of Aunt July, then pressed the other half of the picture to her heart.
Then she saw something else. It was an envelope addressed to Jane Monroe, still sealed. The return address read: Clifford Johnson. She ripped the letter open and as she pulled out a piece of paper, a picture and a twenty-dollar bill fell to the floor. She picked them up, set them in her lap, and began to read a beautiful note, in which Clifford professed his undying love and begged Jane to come to him.
Ali felt faint as she looked at the picture which showed two happy people, obviously in love. Then she realized that although Clifford was light-skinned, he was definitely a black man! Although it came as a surprise, Ali smiled and whispered to Mr. Puss, “So that’s where I got my olive complexion and wild hair!” She turned the picture over and read: August 14, 1950. She quickly did the math in her mind. She was born May 12, 1951.
