Azure (Drowning In You)

by Thoma, Chrystalla

  “She has her reasons,” Kirsten said.

  “This is because of that man, isn’t it?” Markus pushed his plate away, his blue eyes flashing. “You do realize we’re leaving soon, right?”

  Olivia nodded. Her chest hurt when she thought about it, so she tried to think of other things — like the mystery of this curse Panos had talked about, the angry sea and the forms swimming in its depths.

  “She’s doing what makes her happy,” Kirsten said.

  “She doesn’t look happy.” Markus reached for Olivia’s hand. “Don’t listen to Kirsten. She’s a hopeless romantic. You’ll only get hurt.”

  “Love is not hopeless, dummy.” Kirsten intercepted Markus’s hand. “Love is all about hope.”

  He rolled his eyes. “There she goes again. Take cover. Any minute now she’ll start quoting Shakespeare.”

  Olivia laughed, trying to turn the sound into a cough when Kirsten glared. “I don’t mind.”

  “Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?” Kirsten whispered, winking.

  “See?” Markus groaned.

  “If thou remember’st not the slightest folly that ever love did make thee run into, thou hast not loved.” Kirsten blew Markus a kiss.

  “That’s from As You Like it,” Olivia said, earning herself a pained look from Markus. “What? I like Shakespeare.”

  “You make me feel like the worst literature student in history,” Markus said, throwing his napkin on the table.

  Olivia bit her lip. “Why are we talking about love anyway? I just like Kai, that’s all.”

  They both threw her bemused looks, which she pointedly ignored. She left them wrestling over a croissant with the promise to meet them in the evening for dinner and to invite Kai as well.

  If she could stomach it. Her body was a bundle of raw nerves. She wanted to see Kai; she missed him already. She wanted to find out more about him; and feared to know. She wanted to touch him, kiss his lips, taste his skin, make him laugh and make him moan.

  But she wasn’t in love. Markus was right. Kirsten was a hopeless romantic. Olivia was just curious about Kai. Liked him. He intrigued her, that was all.

  She realized she hadn’t thought about her mistakes, about her failure with Andria, in what seemed like days. She felt lighter, and yet more solid than she had in the past year. Like she was alive again.

  And damn stressed about it. Apparently, being alive meant breaking her head over what to wear all the time.

  Stop it, she told herself firmly, standing in front of her mirror. You look fine.

  Besides, going to the beach meant she’d wear her bikini and throw something light on top. She picked a blue halter neck dress — trying not to notice her pile of clean clothes was diminishing, a clock ticking to the moment she’d leave Crete, leave Kai — and pulled it on. Her bikini showed through the light cotton of the dress. The color suited her.

  She tied her hair in a high ponytail, stared at her reflection, the starry-eyed girl who had to be her. Had she ever looked so happy and hopeful?

  What if Markus was right? What if she was about to get hurt?

  It didn’t matter. She couldn’t even think about not seeing Kai again. Not meeting him would hurt even more.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions.

  Shakespeare

  Weed through your sorrows; keep the ones that smell the sweetest.

  Myra Crow

  Olivia sat at one of the small tables at the beach bar, looking for Kai. She caught sight of him taking an order. Dressed in t-shirt and shorts, he was indeed beautiful, as Panos had said — broad back, narrow hips, muscled legs. She was not staring at his cute ass. No, definitely not.

  And she was definitely not thinking of the feel of his lips on her mouth, his hands on her, or the sounds he’d made and how he’d lost himself in pleasure that morning when she’d touched him.

  She fanned herself with her hat, tearing her gaze away from him, and noticed she hadn’t been the only one staring. Half the females in the bar had their eyes glued on him. How had she not detected this before?

  He’s mine, she wanted to shout at them. Back off.

  Oh god, what was wrong with her? She wasn’t the jealous type. Hadn’t been until now. Besides, he belonged to the sea.

  She fingered her pendant. A curse. A sickness. Madness. Was she really wearing a mermaid’s scale around her neck?

  Then he turned around, saw her and his eyes lit up. He smiled, and her breath caught.

  Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?

  First, and second, and third. She tried to ignore the way her heart stuttered. Every day more.

  Where was Markus to throw a bucket of cold water over her head?

  Kai approached, his smile lingering. “Hi.”

  “Hi.” She wondered if her lip-gloss was smudged over her upper lip, and tugged self-consciously at her dress. God, why was she so nervous? The guy had seen her practically naked, had touched — oh crap. This wasn’t helping.

  “What can I get you?” he whispered, staring at her lips, notepad forgotten in his hand.

  “What have you got?”

  “Um, coffee, juice, lemonade...” His eyes traveled down her throat to her cleavage, and he swallowed. The pen fell from his hand, and he started.

  So cute. “A coffee would be nice. Milk and sugar.”

  “Milk and sugar.” He bent to retrieve his pen, then noted her order down dutifully. He looked up again, a flicker playing in his dark eyes. “Aren’t you going with your friends today?”

  “No.” His nervousness eased her own. “I’d rather stay here.”

  “Would you like to do something, then? I asked Panos if I could leave early today. We can be out of here by midday.” He waved excitedly with his notepad, almost dropping the pen again. “I know a fantastic place, you’ll love it.”

  His enthusiasm was contagious. Besides, she’d love anyplace if he was there.

  Sober up, Liv.

  “Sounds great. I’ll have my coffee, go for a swim, and be back here by midday.”

  He nodded, still wearing happiness all over his face. She wanted to kiss him so badly. She watched him go back to work, all thoughts of anyone else staring at him forgotten. He wanted to spend time with her.

  She jiggled in her chair, because she wanted to get up and dance around.

  Hopeless.

  ***

  The sun was directly overhead when she returned to the bar. He was wiping his hands on a towel when he spotted her and that blinding smile broke over his face again. It made her feel like she was flying.

  She’d trip if she wasn’t careful. Tourist injured from falling over a chair because she wasn’t looking where she was going.

  Fantastic.

  He held out her hand and she took it, following him to his truck, up to the hotel parking lot.

  “Where are you taking me?”

  “You’ll see.” He winked as he started the truck and they rolled out to the road. They headed west, toward Kissamos Kastelli. In a low voice, Kai told her about the town, a Greco-Roman city-state with a great harbor. The Romans built a city of top of the ancient one, and later the Venetians built their Kastelli, the castle whose massive bastions still stood.

  She glanced outside. The sea rolled by the side of the road, shimmering. Her phone buzzed and she checked it. A message from Kirsten, asking how everything was. She replied with happy smileys. Then she saw an older message she hadn’t noticed before. A message from Justin. Something about a flight and missing her.

  She deleted it.

  White houses and orchards dotted the brown and grey plain. Kai cranked up the cold air blasting from the air-conditioner and told her about the temple of Diktynna, the huntress goddess worshipped in the area along with the mermaids, and her temple at the tip of the cape. How did he know so much about these things? Did all people in the area know what lay under the tree roots and the foundations of their houses?


  The road narrowed and became uneven after they passed Kissamos. Hills rose on the sides, ruins of houses littering the landscape. They were going much farther than the previous times. They cut inland, out toward the sea, and back inland again. The sea stretched all around them. They were on another cape.

  “Gramvousa Peninsula,” Kai said. “The western-most tip of Crete.” He stopped the truck in a parking lot with a covered drinks stall and killed the engine. “Welcome to the most beautiful beach of all. Balos.”

  She didn’t know what to expect as she followed him on the sandy bath among aromatic bushes and white rocks. They walked over a rising and then the land fell before them.

  She staggered to a stop, her mouth hanging open. A beach white as salt, a narrow strip connecting it to an islet in a sea made from every shade of blue — turquoise, cerulean, indigo and azure. A few people swam on one side, dark stick figures.

  “Last one in the water is a rotten berry,” Kai suddenly whispered in her ear and took off toward the beach.

  “Wait a minute!” Laughing she ran after him.

  He shed his t-shirt, then his shorts, stumbling as he raced toward the beach, kicking off his sandals and diving into the perfect blue.

  She let her dress fall by his shorts, and slowed. Fear gripped her chest. She hadn’t gone swimming that morning, only wetting her feet in the wavelets. She gathered their clothes and laid them under a rock, then she walked to the water’s edge, her toes sinking in the wet sand.

  She wasn’t sure she wanted to walk into the sea.

  “Liv?” Kai waved at her.

  She waved back. Dammit, she didn’t believe in all this. She couldn’t believe it. She knew how the world worked. Taking a deep breath, she waded toward him.

  He splashed her and she turned away, covering her eyes. “Stop it!” she shouted.

  He cursed. “Your lenses? I’m sorry.”

  “I’m okay.” She smiled, wiping water from her face, tasting its saltiness. “I can still see you.”

  He stepped close, put his arms around her. “And what do you see?”

  That you’re gorgeous and sad even though you’re smiling. That there’s pain in your eyes.

  “I see everything,” she said, and yelped when he picked her up and lifted her, looking up into her face. “Put me down.”

  He turned slowly. “Look around you.”

  Dizzy, blinded by the sun — drowning in blue, caught between sea and sky.

  “You’re safe with me,” he said, letting her slide down his body until she stood with her arms around his neck. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  Nor I to you, she vowed. I won’t let you fall.

  ***

  “Kirsten and Markus would like you to have dinner with us tonight.” Olivia squinted against the sun that sat low on the horizon like a golden eye.

  “And you? Would you like me to?” He lay back, propping his head on his pile of clothes.

  “Yeah. If you don’t have other plans.”

  He hummed. “I’ll cancel my important plans for tonight in favor of having dinner with you... if you give me a kiss.”

  “So selfless of you,” she muttered, grinning.

  “Actually, I’m very selfish.” He pulled her over him so she lay on his chest, their legs tangled. “I want you all to myself.”

  “How wicked of you, then,” she whispered against his mouth and then he was kissing her hungrily, nipping at her lips, his eyes closing. She drew back for a breath and he moaned softly, shifting under her. His hands pressed down on her back, molding her to his body so she could feel how affected he was. It sent waves of heat down her spine.

  She kissed him, taking her time, raking her fingers through his short hair, tugging lightly.

  He arched back with a groan. She tugged harder, watching pleasure wash over his features, and ran her lips over the stubble on his chin and down his throat.

  With a grunt, he rolled her over and climbed on top of her, his breathing coming in short gasps. He bent his head, so their foreheads touched. “What have you done to me?” he murmured. “I can’t stop touching you.”

  I’m taking you back from the sea, she thought. Claiming you. “Kai...”

  “Oh man.” He shook. “Stop me. I’m going to take you right now unless you stop me, and there are people watching.”

  Shit. She sat up so fast their foreheads bumped and Kai fell off. “People watching? Where?” She scanned the beach. A couple sat not too far away. The man was looking right at her. Her face heated.

  “Ow.” Kai rubbed his head. “You stopped me alright.”

  “I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

  “I’ll live.” His lips quirked in a smile. “So I take it you don’t like people watching when we kiss?”

  “Asks the man who can’t stand crowds and lives in a hut on a cliff.” She stuck her tongue out at him.

  He hung his head, his smile fading. “Yeah...”

  “Hey. I love your hut.” She threw her arms around him and was rewarded with the return of his smile.

  “God, Liv.” He stroked her cheek. “You’re so beautiful. Can I keep you?”

  She laughed, leaning her head on his shoulder. “I’m high maintenance. I eat a lot.”

  “You do?”

  She looked down at her still too skinny frame and made a moue. “Okay, not a lot, but expensive stuff.”

  “Caviar,” he said with a straight face. “And champagne.”

  “Definitely champagne.” She tickled his stomach and he flinched, his eyes widening. Hey, he was ticklish! Cool. “And exotic fruit. Mango, papaya, starfruit... Do you like exotic fruit?”

  She tickled him again, before he had a chance to reply, and he gasped and twisted, trying to get away. She tickled him under the armpits and he fell off her, writhing like a fish. Attacking him again, she managed to throw him on his back. He struggled against her, tickling her ribs until she fell off, eating a mouthful of sand.

  “I won,” he said and leaped to his feet. He grabbed her around the waist and walked toward the water. “Therefore I get to wash you.”

  “Wash me?” Still spitting sand, she wiggled in his arms. “Let go of me.”

  “As you wish.” He took a few more steps and released her.

  Into the ice-cold water.

  Yelping, she flailed about until she broke the surface. She gasped for air, then laughed and coughed.

  “You’ll pay for this.” She choked on a giggle. “Bastard.” She launched herself at him and wrapped her legs around his hips, her arms around his shoulders.

  Kai laughed, a low, musical sound that vibrated through him. “Payment will be in champagne, I assume.”

  “Damn right.” She hummed happily, still wrapped around him like a limpet. “You’ll be so sorry you met me.”

  His laughter faded and he drew a long, shaky breath. “I doubt that,” he said softly.

  ***

  Kirsten sent another message as they drove back, asking where to meet for dinner. Kai said he’d picked them all up and take them to a nice place.

  Olivia sent off his reply, looking at him sideways. That faint smile was still on his face. It was cute. And sexy. And it made her heart soar.

  “Your friends,” he said as they drove through the low hills. “Where are they from?”

  “Germany. Southern Germany, in fact. Half the time I don’t understand a word they say.”

  “You speak German.” He sounded impressed.

  “Yes. That’s the sum of the foreign languages I know.” She pushed her hair out of her eyes. She’d lost her hair-band in all the mock-fighting. “What about you? What languages do you speak?”

  “Some Greek. Very badly.” He frowned. “I tried to learn French but gave up.”

  “And you don’t read anymore.”

  He gave a half-smile. “That’s right. Not anymore.”

  “Why not?”

  He swallowed hard. “Because books remind me of someone. And I don’t want to reme
mber.”

  Uh oh. Ex-girlfriend alert? “Fair enough. How old are you?”

  “I’m twenty. You like asking questions, don’t you?” Said without heat.

  “You said I could ask,” she reminded him. “Before we date again.”

  “You make dating sound dirty.” His grin spread from ear to ear. “Dirty in a good sense. How old are you?”

  “Nineteen. My birthday is next month. When’s yours?”

  “It’s passed. It was in August.”

  “Did you party all night long into the morning of your birthday?”

  He shook his head.

  Right, of course not. A hermit and all that.

  “So what do you do when you’re not working? In your free time?”

  “I swim.”

  She waited until she realized he wasn’t going to say more. “Come on, there must be more things you do.”

  His eyes narrowed on the road ahead. “I fish. I think. I dream.” He cast her a sidelong glance. “Of girls like you.”

  “And what am I like?”

  “Like sunshine.”

  Her heart skipped a beat. “You’re a poet at heart, aren’t you?”

  His brow furrowed and he didn’t answer. He drove fast but carefully, slowing down if another car approached. They quickly left the peninsula behind and drove along the coast, passing Kissamos Kastelli with its Venetian castle.

  “Your friends,” he said, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “They don’t mind us spending so much time together, do they?”

  “Stressed about dinner with them?”

  He gave a soft snort. “That obvious, huh?”

  “They like you.” She put a hand on his leg. “Stop worrying. It will be fun.”

  He sighed. “Yeah. Not used to going out anymore.”

  That meant he hadn’t always been that way. He’d been carefree once; outgoing. Living among people, not running from them.

  “Kai, why are you here? I mean, I know this thing of the sea brought you here...” Whatever it was. “But you used to live in New York. You said so. Why not go back?”