The Blue Horse

by Marita Conlon-McKenna

  ‘Did you go to school at all?’ Mr Searson asked gently.

  ‘Indeed they did, Mr Searson. Hannah and all of them have been in schools all over the place. Wherever we moved to we always tried to get them into a school or there would be someone to take a few of them and teach them their letters or what they needed to know to get them ready for their communion. We did our best for them.’

  ‘I know, Mrs Connors. Life on the road is hard, and moving around for no matter what reason or what the cause is not the best thing for a child’s education.’

  ‘We’re travellers, that’s our life,’ Mam interjected stubbornly.

  ‘Yes, well, taking that into account I’d like to make a suggestion. We’re very lucky that there’s a special school for travellers on the far side of town. The children are collected by bus. It’s a good school, and Hannah and Paddy would both do well there and hopefully be able to re-learn the basics.’

  ‘But the twins have never been split up. They go everywhere, do everything together. I’d hoped the three of them would go to the same school, the one nearby.’ Mam was staring at him.

  ‘Look, Mrs Connors, it’s the best I can do. I have an enormous school to run here. None of my teachers has the time to teach Hannah on her own, the time has to be shared between thirty-five other children too. I have to be fair to everyone!’ He stopped for a moment considering an idea. ‘Maybe if you or your husband could do a bit of reading work with them?’

  Mam was silent for a second.

  ‘Mr Searson, I’m on my own at the moment and … well … I can’t read nor write myself.’

  The headmaster was embarrassed and began to trip over himself trying to apologise.

  ‘I’ll help her, I’ll help them both,’ Katie volunteered. ‘I’m good at reading.’

  ‘Now that’s the idea,’ Mr Searson smiled. ‘Where do you go to school?’

  ‘Nowhere.’

  ‘There’s a very good Community School close by. You might consider it. Otherwise there’s a convent school for girls in the centre of town.’

  ‘I’ll think about it,’ muttered Katie, ‘nothing’s been decided yet!’

  ‘Well, Mrs Connors, it’s lovely to meet you and your family. Think about Brian and let me know by the end of the week.’

  ‘I’ll think about it, Mr Searson.’ Mam was standing up to go. ‘Thank you for your time.’

  They left the school a silent bunch. In a few weeks’ time the yard would be crowded and noisy with children and Katie couldn’t help but wonder would Brian be one of them.

  ‘Will we go to the Community School today, pet?’ Mam asked her. ‘Are you in the mood for it?’

  ‘Not today, Mam. I’m not sure about school.’

  ‘Well, tomorrow’s another day. Anyway, I’ll find out from Miss O’Gorman about it and what she thinks I should do. I wish your Da was here … just to talk to …’

  Katie nodded.

  ‘But no point in wishing, I’ve given up on that.’

  ‘Me too,’ whispered Katie, watching the grey drabness of the road.

  Chapter 14

  SEPTEMBER

  Mam talked to one or two of the neighbours and to Miss O’Gorman to get advice about school. The social worker agreed that James Searson was a fair and sensible man. Twins were often split up so maybe it would be for the best. She gave Katie the application forms for the Community School but Katie wasn’t that much bothered. Tom was staying home, maybe she would too.

  The first day of September was on top of them before they knew it. Brian was all excited and Miss O’Gorman surprised him with a vivid blue schoolbag that strapped over his shoulders and a grey school jumper and tie. Paddy went off into the bedroom in a huff.

  When Mam walked with Brian down to the national school, half the neighbourhood seemed to be heading in the same direction. Brian was very nervous, but relaxed a bit when some of his football pals fell into step with him.

  Mam came back almost sick with worry, but praying that Brian would be okay.

  Half-an-hour later a red and grey bus stopped almost outside the door. The driver, a burly red-faced man, got out holding a list in his hands. Paddy and Hannah were the only two from their road going.

  Mam and Katie went out to the bus with them. About eight other children were on it already. Hannah was crying a bit and showing all the signs of getting herself in a right state. Mam was trying to hurry her along.

  ‘Come on, I haven’t got all morning, Missus,’ said the driver. ‘Tell her to make up her mind if she’s coming or going. I have another twenty at least to pick up.’

  Hannah looked over at Katie beseechingly. ‘Katie, come with me, please.’

  Katie hesitated. She had barely washed herself this morning she had been so busy getting the rest of them ready. She had brushed Hannah’s hair and picked out two green clips, one for each side.

  ‘First day is it?’ the driver said, a little more kindly. ‘The older girl can come if she wants to, but she’ll have to walk back.’

  ‘Please, please, Katie. I want you to see our school. Please come, just this morning.’

  Mam nodded in agreement and Katie jumped up and grabbed a seat beside Hannah. Hannah always got her own way in the end, where Katie was concerned.

  The bus journey was fairly long. They turned back onto the main road and then into a neighbouring estate, where about ten young travellers got on. They seemed to know the other children on the bus and just ignored the newcomers. The bus called to a halting site and seven more youngsters got on, their parents waving goodbye from the three trailers parked on the concrete yard. One of the boys, a cheeky fellow with a mop of blond curls pushed in beside Paddy and was trying to chat to him. The last call was to a roadside. Behind a clump of hedgerow, a caravan roof peeped through, then two little girls appeared out of nowhere and climbed up on the bus.

  The bus finally turned off the main roads and headed up a bumpy sideroad. Two or three times the driver shouted to the kids to sit down. ‘Any trouble on the bus and that’ll be the end of it,’ he kept threatening. ‘I’m watching you all.’

  Katie hoped she would remember the way back to the main road. As they turned around the corner she caught a first glimpse of the neat, whitewashed building with the brightly coloured yellow windows.

  ‘It looks lovely, Hannah, doesn’t it?’ Her sister looked a bit doubtful.

  Paddy was standing up ready to get out quickly. Katie went up to the school door with them, where a teacher welcomed all the pupils into a large open hall and began to tell them some of the things they would be doing during the year.

  Katie had to stay outside but through the long window she could still make Hannah out, her white-blond hair making her stand out from the rest of them. They were singing, the sweet clear voices swelling together. Hannah loved singing.

  Katie walked around the place. Through every window she could see bright classrooms, with coloured posters, painting sets, games and books. It was just the sort of school that her little brother and sister would love. She could go home now, they would be fine.

  That night there was nearly a fight, with the three of them trying to tell their news and about their new friends all at the same time. Katie was proud of them, but in a way felt a bit deflated. Besides going with Hannah, she hadn’t done much all day. She had brought Davey for a walk up to the shops and back. To be honest, it wasn’t much fun just hanging around.

  Tom didn’t know what to do with himself either. He took Duffy for a short walk, and then he was up and down the stairs and seemed very restless.

  Katie knew how he felt.

  Chapter 15

  THE UNIFORM

  ‘Hi!’

  Katie swung around. A plumpish girl in a denim jacket was walking towards her, pushing a battered-looking navy pram.

  ‘You’re a traveller too, aren’t you?’ she asked breathlessly. Katie nodded.

  ‘My name’s Sally, Sally Ward. My Mam told me she met your Mam down at the welfare office.
We live at the back of Ashfield, our road is the Grove.’

  The two of them fell into step. Sally wheeled her little sister Bonnie. Katie wheeled Davey in the buggy. Davey loved being on the move and chatted to every bird or animal they met along the way. Duffy ran on ahead, sniffing every gateway or tree they passed.

  ‘How long have you lived here?’

  Sally thought for a second.

  ‘About three years, I suppose. Yeah, because Martin and Bonnie have been born since then.’

  Sally was a nice girl, two years older than Katie and she seemed to have a great sense of humour. They walked around for about an hour, killing time. The baby had woken up and was looking for a feed.

  ‘I’d better get home and give her a bottle or she’ll scream her head off.’

  Katie hoped they’d bump into each other again. As it turned out, most mornings they did meet and fell into step. One day it lashed rain as they crossed the open green.

  ‘Hey, Katie, do you want to come up to my house? My mother’s gone off for the morning with my Dad.’ They ran until they came to a house with a small caravan parked on the grass outside the door. Inside it was nice like their own house, but full to bursting with furniture and heaps of clutter all over the place.

  Katie moved a pile of clothes for washing to get a space to sit down.

  ‘Throw them over here, Katie. I’ll do them later and put them out on the line before the others get in.’

  ‘Sally, did you go to school?’

  The other girl threw her chestnut-coloured hair back over her shoulder. Her green eyes sparkled and she opened her mouth wide to laugh, a strange mocking laugh.

  ‘School! Yeah, I went to school – reading, writing, years of primary, I was the brains of the family and then we settled here and I got a place in the convent. Oh there was great excitement. My Mam and Dad were right proud. They got me a uniform and then the big day came.

  ‘I went into that beautiful red-brick building …’

  Katie leant forward, anxious to hear about it.

  ‘Go on, what happened?’

  ‘I’ll tell you what happened. I stood in that big school with its stairs all over the place and its long corridors. I didn’t know which way to turn. None of the girls knew me and I didn’t know them, so not one of them said a word to me. Not a word!’

  ‘They must have said something.’ Katie couldn’t believe it.

  ‘No. Not one word for four whole days. They walked in gangs up and down and I … well, I walked alone. They knew I was different from them and they made it clear I wouldn’t fit in. They realised it straight away and after four days so did I …’

  ‘Oh Sally.’ Katie didn’t know what to say.

  ‘Don’t you believe me?’ Sally was upset.

  ‘Of course I do.’

  ‘Come on upstairs! I want to show you something.’ Holding Bonnie in her arms, she raced up ahead of Katie.

  It was clear that four sisters shared the bedroom as there were two sets of bunk beds. Clothes hung from the pine bedposts and a battered-looking pine wardrobe stood in the corner.

  Sally grabbed the handle and pulled it open. She rooted through the racks and took out a wire hanger. The convent uniform – school blouse, white with small buttons, bright red jumper and navy skirt – hung abandoned from it.

  ‘My uniform!’

  Katie touched it. Sally sat on the bottom bunk, the uniform swinging from the knob of the open wardrobe door.

  ‘I keep that uniform and every now and then take it out and look at it.’

  Katie felt embarrassed. She barely knew this girl and yet she was willing to share such a secret with her.

  ‘Why are you telling me all this?’

  ‘Maybe you should know, understand why I’m just hanging around.’

  ‘But so am I,’ Katie admitted.

  ‘Listen, that uniform is a reminder of what might have been. I go over and over it again and maybe if I hadn’t been so scared, maybe if I’d laughed and joked, maybe if I’d just given it five days or six days, been a bit tougher, just brazened it out, it might have been okay. Surely in the whole of that school there was one girl, just one girl who might have been a friend. I’m not that bad a person, am I?’

  She turned to Katie, her eyes sad and a frown creasing her forehead. Katie felt totally at a loss as to what to do or say.

  ‘Don’t be sad, Sally, something will turn up for you.’

  ‘Yeah, I can see it all ahead. Dossing about the place, maybe training, get a job in a factory if I’m very lucky and then before you know it I’ll be married …’

  ‘You can’t map things out just like that,’ argued Katie. ‘No one knows what lies ahead of them.’

  ‘Well,’ joked Sally, ‘some of us have a fair idea,’ but she couldn’t disguise the bitterness in her voice.

  ‘Sally, why in heaven’s name do you keep that uniform thing if it upsets you like that?’

  ‘You don’t understand. There are times you need to be upset, to be reminded. Anyway I know at least I was good enough to go to school and get a uniform. Who knows, maybe Bonnie will wear it in a few years’ time, maybe she’ll get to do things I never did?’ Her baby sister lay half-asleep, gazing up at her.

  Something fell downstairs with a crash.

  ‘Oh gosh. I’d better get down to Davey, he’s up to some tricks.’ Katie was glad of the excuse to get out of the bedroom and back downstairs.

  Sally cheered up. They enjoyed the rest of the morning together. The heavy rain clouds had blown away and the sun was making feeble attempts to come out. At lunchtime Katie ran back home as Mam would be looking for her.

  It was strange, but that afternoon Katie found herself walking in a round-about way towards the large Community School. It was set on a slope and from outside she could see the heads of girls and boys in various classrooms. The bell went and she sat by a garden wall. A few minutes later gangs of teenagers began to stream out. They were chatting and laughing and walking in groups. Some were collected in cars and others made their way to the bus stop about a quarter of a mile away. The rest walked. She recognised a few of them from her estate, and one of the girls even waved shyly at her. She blushed. It wasn’t that she was spying on them, she just wanted a chance to get a feel of the place.

  She turned for home finally and began to jog. Her heart was pounding, her breath jerky. It was just the running, she said to herself, yet she knew she couldn’t deny the excitement she felt inside. Secondary school! – she was going to talk to Mam about it.

  She’d be like the rest of them, provided they had a place and that they’d take her. Maybe it was too good to be true. Don’t get your hopes up, Mam was always telling her. But at that moment her hopes were flying high … as high as a seagull in the open sky.

  Chapter 16

  A NEW START

  ‘Well, Mrs Connors, are you happy with what you’ve seen?’ asked Mrs Quinlan, the Principal.

  Katie could tell that her mother was ill-at-ease. ‘It’s lovely, Mrs Quinlan,’ she interrupted.

  Mrs Quinlan was very different from the other teachers she’d met over the years. Her blond hair was cropped short and she wore huge red-framed glasses that made her look like a big round owl.

  ‘Now, I know you’ll be at a disadvantage starting late, Katie, but as they say, better late than never.’

  Mam was sitting very quietly. The huge corridors and classrooms and science labs and sports hall had taken her breath away, and they had only been shown a small part of the Community School.

  Katie herself felt a little bewildered and hoped she would be able to find her way around.

  ‘Here’s your booklist. There’s a second-hand bookshop in town, you’ll get most of them there. This is your daily timetable and an information sheet about classes and after-school activities. A lot goes on here after the bell rings, you know.’

  Katie glanced at it. Judo, dance, tennis, drama, hockey, computers – the kind of things you dream about doing but wou
ld never get the chance.

  ‘Now, I’ll show you the way out.’

  She led them down a long yellow-painted corridor with a polished tiled floor. The wall was covered with framed photographs of hockey teams, a group of students dressed up as Vikings, two boys in judo outfits and a smiling girl holding a shining silver trophy. Katie slowed down and trailed behind her mother and the teacher, trying to read the inscriptions and dates. An image of herself holding a tennis racquet and smiling into the camera made her giggle.

  They reached the main door and said their goodbyes.

  ‘I’ll see you here on Monday, Katie,’ said the Principal, ‘and remember to be on time.’

  They walked back down past a row of parked cars. Katie could tell Mam was worried.

  ‘Do you think you’ll manage it, pet?’

  ‘The rest of them do, so why shouldn’t I?’

  ‘But, Katie, we’re not the rest of them. Are you sure you’re not taking on too much?’

  ‘Mam, stop worrying, I’ll be fine.’

  ‘Well, do your best and your Da and I will be right proud of you, one way or the other. Did I ever think I’d see the day when one of my own went to the secondary!’

  * * *

  On her first morning, Katie walked up and down the girls’ locker room trying to find her locker. There were so many of them and every one of them grey! The key said number 102. Down at the bottom of the room there was a large mirror and a row of basins, and through a door beside these were the toilets. Crowds of girls hung around chatting and pushing and shoving, so that it was impossible to see which grey door was hers. A sharp bell rang and the crowd heaved towards the door and set off in the direction of the sports hall.

  Number 99, 100, 101, 102 – great! The key was tiny and hard to turn, but she managed it. She stared in. The locker was so small! How would she fit everything into it? She hung her jacket from the metal hook and dumped the bag on the shelf. She tried to open the stiff buckle on the bag to find her timetable to see what classes she had. On her way in she had noticed timetables sellotaped on the insides of locker doors. She’d do hers tomorrow. She grabbed some of the books she needed and tried to push the locker shut. That stupid bag was jamming it. On Saturday in the shop it had looked ideal – now she wasn’t so sure. One more push and she was able to turn the key. She followed the others towards the sports hall. The hall was packed and she manoeuvred her way to the back of the line where a crowd of her own age stood.