Casting Dreams

by J. L. Weil

  The smoke turned red as blood, swirling over the ground before vanishing. Overhead, the stars blazed back to life, and the moon sailed clear and white. I backed away, studying the fresh scar on the earth. He was gone. Poof. Like Magick.

  Fresh tears spilled down my cheeks. No. No. No. I didn’t want to cry. Told myself I wouldn’t. This wasn’t goodbye, but it sure as hell hurt like one. I wanted to believe this was a joke, the universe playing tricks with me.

  But as the remaining fog lifted, something shifted in the ashes.

  “Conner,” I breathed, barely recognizing my own voice. My fingertips still hummed with a gentle shimmer of green magick.

  I could have sworn the world stopped. For one rushing moment, there was no movement. No sound. There was nothing but the black wolf, eyes glowing in gold with sparking specks of aqua, the only thing left of the man.

  I crouched down, eye-level with the wolf. The warm hand that had been clutched in mine was gone, and the wolf’s cold breath was on the back of my neck.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The wolf circled around and watched me intently, amber eyes never leaving my face. Blood spread like black shadows on the ground, seeping into the dirt. The scent of it hung in the air.

  He isn’t dead, I had to remind myself, although my heart ached. I sat still, afraid to make any sudden movements. What am I going to do between now and the next moon without you?

  I didn’t expect an answer, but clear as the ocean’s water on a calm day, I heard Conner’s voice in my head. Think of me often.

  My shoulders went lax as my worst fears left my body. I hadn’t realized how tense my muscles had been while I waited to see what the wolf would do next. Knowing that Conner wasn’t lost to me completely filled me with something I hadn’t expected to feel. Hope.

  In the deep of the night with its swimming moon, the leaves quivered. I looked up, out into the woods, and saw a pack of wolves surround the circle.

  For the hundredth time tonight, my heart stopped.

  The pack had waited years for the moment I’d dreaded my whole life. As if the wolf sensed my reluctance to say goodbye, he dropped his head, and let a whimper.

  “I’m all right,” I assured him, reaching out tentatively with my hand to run my fingers through his fur. “I just need to get my breath back, but I’ll be okay.” Touching him gave me a surge of steadiness―whether it was deliberate or not, I couldn’t say.

  As he lifted his head, a speck of aqua flashed.

  I sensed his hesitancy to leave me. You were right. I needed you here. And then he was gone, disappearing into the woods toward his destiny.

  Nothing was the same after that night. Something inside me changed. I couldn’t say when the exact moment occurred. It could have been that night. It could have been before. Some say it is harder to see one’s own destiny. I might have known all along that Conner wouldn’t be the only one deciding his fate that night.

  For the next thirty days I went about the motions of life. Get up. Take my morning walk to open the shop. Put in a full ten-plus hour day and then drag my bone-tired butt back home to bed. But just going through the motions of life wasn’t living, and that’s what I wasn’t doing. Living. My life was empty.

  Sure, I had the shop, Nan, and Cat. They did their best to keep my mind occupied, but I could see the worry in their eyes. They saw through the forced smiles, the far-off look I got more often than not, and the dullness that smothered my sparkle.

  I cupped the tarot cards in my hand, flipping the first card onto the table. It was the moon card. My hand shook, and Mrs. McCullen waited nervously for me to reveal her fate.

  My heart wasn’t in the reading, but I had a business to run, and bills to pay, so I took a deep breath and laid my hand over the card. “When the moon appears with the howling wolf, it is time to re-focus on our core desires and compare them with our loyalties. Simply put, are you being true to your core self or are you trying to ‘fit in’ or measure up to the image you feel you must sustain in society’s eyes?”

  “You can get all that from a card?” she said with a chuckle of skepticism.

  I was used to the distrust of my profession, but today I didn’t have the tolerance. “Wait until we break out the crystal ball,” I mumbled. My fingers fumbled with the next card. A wolf howled, and my head snapped up, looking out the window. There was no way for me to tell it was Conner by his howl alone, but the rush that danced through my blood said it was the black wolf. I gripped the cards tighter in my hands.

  “Are you okay?” Mrs. McCullen asked, her beady eyes squinting at me.

  Another moment went by. “Aye. Sorry.”

  She tsked her tongue, shaking her head sadly. “You have a broken heart. That boy doesn’t know what he left behind.”

  Small towns had their ups and downs. Everyone interested in my love life was definitely a downer. They meant well. In their own way, the people of Kenmare cared about me and wanted to see me happy.

  So did I.

  My life was missing a light that could only be filled by Conner.

  I counted down the days until the next full moon.

  My mind was made up. This was no life, not the life I wanted to live. My hopes and dreams no longer lined up. Everything had changed.

  I knew what I wanted. What I’d always wanted. What I’d waited a lifetime for. Conner. It didn’t matter what form, a man or a wolf, he was mine, and I was his.

  The ground was coated with fog, smothered with the weight of it as I moved through the woods, guided only by the moon’s light. Anticipation clawed at my stomach, accompanied by the rush of love. I wrapped it around me, shielded it with my own power and made my way to the circle of stones.

  He was there.

  The black wolf.

  I had known before I set out into the woods that he was waiting for me. The mark on my wrist pulsed with life, increasing in speed the closer I got. My entire body was tingling.

  The moon wasn’t quite at its highest, and although I was anxious to see Conner’s face, there was unfinished business between the wolf and me. Dropping down to my knees, I held out my hand. “On this night, I make my choice.” Power filled my veins.

  The wolf took a step in retreat, eyes glowing. What are you doing?

  “What I am meant to do.” I replied. “A single night once a month is not enough for me. I want every night.”

  You mean to sever our ties? You want to be free of me? There was sadness and panic in this voice.

  I shook my head, my chest panging from the hurt I felt through our link. “No. Just the opposite. I want you to bite me.” Conner the druid would deny me until he was blue in the face, but the wolf, he was just dark and selfish enough to give me what I longed for, to live a life with Conner, day and night, regardless of his form.

  The wolf let out a low rumble in his chest.

  Okay. I might have underestimated how much of Conner was still in the wolf. “My mind is made up. There is nothing you can do to change it. My destiny has always been to be with you. I choose love. I choose you.”

  His eyes began to glow, twin flames against the dark. To be turned, you must be worthy. Not every bite will create the shift. One must want it, truly. Do you, Mirela?

  “I want you. Won’t that be enough? I’ve never wanted anything so much as I want to be with you,” I admitted. “I can’t go on living as I have been these days without you. It is no life, not for me.”

  His head was raised proudly. There was strength and raw power in his stance. It must be your choice. I won’t persuade you or deceive you. Never.

  My eyes beseeched his. I wanted him to see how hard it was for me to live this life under these conditions. “I know. And it is. Whatever the outcome, whatever my fate, I have to know that I at least tried.”

  I should have known you’d find a way to change our fates.

  A sacrifice born from love was a powerful thing. I tilted my neck to the side, tears in my eyes. “Do it. If you love me as you claim, then you will
give me what I ask. I’ve seen our future. This is our life. Together.”

  His canines touched the sensitive skin on my neck, and the wolf’s hot breath caressed me. I should deny your request, but I want you too much.

  “I love you, Conner. I love you, and I’ll say it a hundred times until you understand what that love means to me.” My head fell back as his sharp teeth pierced my flesh, drawing blood, but replacing it with the power of a wolf, filling my veins with the saliva of an alpha. Only the pack leader had the ability to turn a human. Wolves could mate and bear cubs, but none other than the alpha could turn. It had to be Conner.

  The air hushed, as if it was waiting to see what would happen next.

  Would my body accept the change?

  Would it kill me?

  I hadn’t deluded myself into thinking it was all unicorns and rainbows. My genetic makeup was essentially changing. It was going to hurt, but the pain shocked me, causing me to curl into a ball.

  Power rushed through me like the wind that was suddenly surging over my skin, sending my hair flying. The force of it made me gasp and then shudder.

  With dazzled eyes, I saw a green flame sizzle on the ground, dancing sparks that warmed my face. Concentrating on the flickering light instead of the searing pain, I lay in the center of the circle, until there was nothing but darkness. The black wolf never left my side, and my fingers clutched onto his fur as the moon moved directly above.

  As my eyes fluttered close, the wolf’s form shuddered into a man.

  Only semi-conscious, I felt Conner scooped my lax body up into my arms. “Mirela, you fool. I never wanted this life for you, but now that I have you, I won’t ever let you go. No harm will come to you, for you are mine to protect, and I protect what’s mine. I will find a way to make you happy.”

  The transformation from woman to wolf would take most of the night. My agony wasn’t over yet. It was only beginning. Already my body was covered in a glowing sheen of sweat, my blood warming.

  But I would suffer the same fate time and time again to be with the one who holds my heart. Because some dreams were meant to be.

  Epilogue

  Poised on the cliff, a wolf of pure white stood, eyes as green as the hills of Ireland. That wolf was me. Now I was the banríon of wolves.

  The moon was full and bright, shining over the freshly fallen snow that blanketed the hills. It was an adjustment, living most of my life on four paws instead of two legs, but Conner was there every step of the way. I had somehow managed to keep my gifts during the change. It was unheard of, which made me a diamond among wolves.

  In one fluid movement, I became woman.

  Conner crushed me against him, burying his face in my hair. “I had a vision,” he murmured.

  I pulled back, my hands framing his face. “Hey, that’s my thing.”

  “Strange, I know, but do you think it’s possible our link allows you share your sight?”

  I let myself get caught up in his gaze. “If there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that anything is possible.”

  He grinned. “Good, because we were happy.”

  I wrapped my arms around him. “I like this vision so far.”

  His hand slipped to my stomach. “You were pregnant with our baby.”

  My gaze narrowed. How could he know? “Are you sure you’re not a druid anymore?”

  Grinning, his eyes turned upward, following my gaze to the star-strewn sky, twinkling like little blue sparks. “I told you I would give you the stars if I could, Mirela. You’ve given me so much more, so much more than I deserve.”

  “You’re going to make me cry.”

  His brows lifted. “Could be the hormones.”

  “You’re lucky I love you.” Swamped with raw emotion that I felt deep in my soul, I leaned into him.

  He framed my face in his hands, catching a tear with his thumb. “A promise.” He turned his hand over, offering a silver ring circled with diamonds as clear as water, bright as sapphire. “Marry me, under the moonlight, in the circle of stones. Where it all began.”

  “I’ll take the ring. And you, Conner. Until the end of time.” I held out my hand, and a thrill went through me as he slipped his promise onto my finger. And there it glittered. “Together our life will be magickal, as long as I have you.”

  “As you wish, little dove.” He lifted me off my feet, the stars shimmering brilliantly in my eyes.

  The End

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  About the Author

  USA TODAY Bestselling author J.L. Weil lives in Illinois where she writes Teen & New Adult Paranormal Romances about spunky, smart mouth girls who always wind up in dire situations. For every sassy girl, there is an equally mouthwatering, overprotective guy. Of course, there is lots of kissing. And stuff.

  An admitted addict to Love Pink clothes, raspberry mochas from Starbucks, and Jensen Ackles. She loves gushing about books and Supernatural with her readers.

  She is the author of the International Bestselling Raven & Divisa series.

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