Dear Neighbor

by River Laurent

Megan calmly mixed another Bloody Mary for us. I made a mental note not to go overboard like I did on Monday. It was just not worth it. It took me two full days to recover.

  “You have to go because if you don’t. It means she wins. And you can’t let her win. Do you want her to think she’s intimidated you!? Believe me, if you don’t show, that’s exactly what she’ll think.”

  I leaned against her counter. “I don’t care what she thinks.”

  “If I were you, I’d go. Salvage my pride by showing up with an absolute hunk. From what you’ve told me, Max will do everything he can to make you look good.”

  She handed me a fresh Bloody Mary.

  “Trust me,” she said pouring herself one too. “My intuition is never off when it comes to things like this, and I think he’s the real deal. He could have left you sitting there alone Monday night, but he brought you inside and tried to help when you lost your mind.”

  We clinked glasses. “Well,” I said biting my thumb. “I told him I don’t want him to go with me. I don’t know what crazy stunt he’ll pull next.”

  She took a sip. “Well, you’ll just have to tell him, you’ve changed your mind.”

  “I can’t do that.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because we made a bet that he’d come to me for help before I went to him.”

  She grinned over the rim of her glass. “I think this could be the beginning of a very, very good romance novel.”

  “And I think you’ve already had too much to drink. No men for me in the immediate future. I need a break after Josh.”

  “Okay, then…” she trailed off, eyebrows arched.

  The doorbell rang before I could ask what she looked so damn pleased with herself about.

  20

  Mimi

  “Is everything all right with Josh?”

  I turned in my chair on Monday morning to find Tracee standing in the doorway of my cubicle, but looking down the hall with a concerned frown. I stood, following her gaze. Josh’s door was open, and the two of us watched him pacing back and forth like a maniac. He ran his hands through his hair, muttering something into his headset. He sounded extremely put out. I wondered who he was talking to.

  “I don’t know what’s up with him, but if he it keeps that up he’ll have to replace the carpet,” I muttered. “He’s going to wear it down to the pad.”

  “He’s been that way since last week,” she said, shaking her head. “Like he’s losing his mind.”

  I bit my tongue to keep from laughing. “It makes sense. I heard he got quite a surprise last week.”

  “Oh, of course. The baby. The engagement. I can’t stand it when men don’t bother trying to leave their personal lives at home. If a woman came in here acting like a crazy person…”

  “I know what you mean,” I agreed.

  She looked apologetic as she turned to me. “You know what’s funny? This is going to sound crazy, but I sort of thought the two of you had something going on.”

  “Us?” I chuckled, even as my blood turned to ice.

  “I know, it’s crazy.” She leaned in, winking. “You can do much better than him. I don’t know what I was thinking. I hope you’re not insulted.”

  I smiled indulgently. “Not at all.”

  After she left, I waited a few minutes for Josh to get off the phone. When I saw him wander back to his desk and sit down, I checked my compact mirror. My hair was shiny and bouncy, no lipstick on my teeth. I looked pretty good actually. Red was a fine color for me. Grandma always said it made my skin look healthy. I ran my hands down my black pencil skirt, straightened my spine, and made my way to his office.

  I knocked on the glass door. His eyes bugged when he saw me. He made a beckoning movement with his hand and I went in.

  “Hey, Mimi. How’s it going?” he said giving me a big grin.

  And I thought this was going to be awkward. I forced a smile. “Hey. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

  He leaned back in his chair, his grin becoming wider. What a tool. “I know. You can’t make it to the party, right?”

  My eyes widened. “What?”

  “You can’t make it to out engagement party.” He slapped his thigh. “Lillian so called it right,” he gloated.

  “What?” I repeated like a fool.

  “She said no way you were you going out with a guy like Max. He was waaaaay out of your league. She reckoned he was probably a gay friend who’d taken pity on you. She guessed you would be coming into my office sometime this week with some excuse that you couldn’t make it.”

  I swallowed and wished I had closed the blinds. I was wearing my especially sharp and pointy heels, so I could have walked up to him and stabbed him in right in the eyes with my heels. But then, I remembered what one of my teachers told me, a strong woman doesn’t exact revenge on her enemies, she moves on and lets Karma do her dirty work for her.

  “Don’t worry. It’s okay. I totally understand. Your pride was hurt. You don’t have to come,” he finished.

  I flashed a fake smile. “I’m sorry to disappoint Lillian, but Max and I are coming. Unless you or Lillian feel it is too awkward. In that case, of course, we won’t come. Obviously, we don’t want to spoil your special day. We’ll probably just stay in and have sex. Max is amazing in bed. Just amazing. It’s five times a night at the moment.” I gave a laugh. “So good. Like you wouldn’t believe.”

  Josh’s eyebrows flew into his hairline, which I realized, was beginning to recede. “No, of course, you must come. It is not awkward at all. Both of us would love to have both of you over.” Then he smiled. I didn’t miss the inflection on the word both. Balls, he didn’t believe me.

  “Fine. We’ll see you there then.”

  “Yeah. I’ll look forward to seeing both of you at the party.”

  “Okay.”

  “Maybe we can double date sometime.”

  I wanted to hurl. “What a great idea.” I whirled around to leave his room.

  “Er…Mimi.”

  I turned. “Yeah.”

  “You wanted to ask me something?” His eyes were taunting.

  “Yes, of course. That’s right.” I smiled. “I wanted to ask you if I could take that file over there.” I pointed over to a file that I’d brought to him two weeks ago while I was using every excuse in the book to come in here.

  “Don’t you have a copy on your computer?”

  “I accidentally deleted it this morning,” I said and walked over to the file. I picked it up, opened it, and pretended to scan through it. “Yup, this is the one.” I lifted my head. “Thank you for this.” With a smile plastered all over my face, I walked out of his office. I went back to my little cubicle, sat on my chair, and let my head hit the table with a thud.

  Shit. I was in so much trouble.

  21

  Mimi

  I stood at my front door until I heard Max in the corridor. I waited until he got into his apartment, then gave him another seven minutes before I went to knock on his door. He opened it and I wanted to swoon. Nobody should look this good at six o’clock in the evening.

  I flashed him a bright smile.

  He crossed his arms. “Did you bring the five hundred bucks?”

  “What?”

  “Aren’t you here to ask for my help, to go with you to the party?”

  “No,” I lied. “I told you I’m not going to that…event.”

  Something flickered in his eyes. He narrowed them. “So what do you want?”

  Fine. He wanted to play it that way. Then he deserved everything he got. I looked at him from between my lashes. “I was thinking. Well, I was thinking…should we be bad? Should we do something sinful together?”

  His eyes gleamed with the kind of wickedness that made me want to put it in a safe so I could take it out every now and again to look at.

  “You sure you want to go there,” he asked. His husky voice had dropped an octave.

  “Baby, I’m already there.” Wow, I was on a roll.<
br />
  His eyes widened with surprise. “What were you thinking of?”

  I smiled seductively. “Let’s eat chocolate cake together.”

  To my surprise, he didn’t react at all. I had led him down the garden path, but he was playing it cool. “Sure,” he said softly.

  “I’ll bake it and bring it over. It’ll take me no more than an hour in total. Is that okay with you? Will you still be around?”

  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he said dryly.

  “Good. See you soon. I was wearing my pencil skirt and I did have a good ass on me, so I swung it for all I was worth on my walk back to my apartment. I smiled to myself. I must have done a good job because I never heard his door close until I reached mine.

  Once I was inside I didn’t waste a minute. I made cupcakes using a recipe for a pound cake and just halved all the ingredients. Once I had put them into the oven I started on the icing. As soon as the cakes were ready I took them out transferred them to a plate and stuck them in the freezer for a few minutes.

  While they were in the freezer I applied a layer of gloss and fluffed up my hair. When the tops of the cakes were cool, I took them out and iced them. I put them on a decorative plate and carried them to Max’s door. I knocked and waited.

  “Hello,” he said, his eyes sliding to the plate of cupcakes I was holding.

  “I come bringing peace offerings,” I said with a sweet smile.

  “I didn’t realize we were at war.” His voice was even.

  “You know how competitive some New Yorkers can get during a bet. I just wanted to let you know that I’m not like that.”

  “Bright colors,” he commented.

  I snickered. “Yeah, artificial food coloring. I know you’re a sucker for artificial things.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest. He had a very, very nice chest. “Is that some kind of dig at the women I bring home?”

  I’d seen women go into his flat. Women with big breasts. I smiled brightly. “While we’re on the subject of bringing women home, aren’t you going to invite me in?”

  He stepped aside and I sailed in. I went straight to the kitchen and put the cakes on the highly-polished granite island top. Everything in his kitchen looked brand new. It was clear the man never cooked. I opened the refrigerator and took out a carton of milk. I poured it into two glasses and sat on a stool. He took the one opposite. I pushed the plate towards him.

  “It is poisoned?” he asked.

  I didn’t dignify that question with an answer. Instead, I reached out for the cake that was closest to me and was about to bring it to my mouth, when he leaned forward, caught my hand, and took that cake himself.

  I bit my lip. “Very well,” I said and took one of the other cakes.

  He waited until I bit into my cake before he sank his perfect teeth into his. “Why this is delicious,” he said, sounding surprised.

  “I know. It’s a secret recipe.” I licked the icing and his eyes watched my tongue. When I finished my cake I stood. “Right, I should be going.”

  He eyed me suspiciously, but said nothing, as he followed me to the door. When I got back home I changed into my jeans and then sat on my toilet seat and waited. Twenty minutes later I heard his toilet flushing. Bingo. I went back to my living room and let the sound of Adele fill the air, but not too loud that I wouldn’t be able to hear anyone knocking on my door. Less than ten minutes later I heard not a knock, but a banging.

  22

  Mimi

  I opened the door and found Max standing there. His hair was tousled, his face was pale, and there was a sheen of sweat on his face.

  “What’s the matter?” I asked.

  “Cut the crap,” he growled. “What do I do to get rid of it?”

  “Do I win the bet?”

  He thrust a bunch of fifties towards me.

  I don’t want money. I want you to take me to the party.”

  “All right. Hurry up.”

  I opened the door wider. “Come in and sit down.”

  I pulled a small dark bottle out of my back jeans pocket and held it out to him.

  He gave me the death stare. “How do I take it?”

  “Unscrew the cap and drink it.”

  He looked at the Chinese text on the label. “What the hell is this? Are you sure it’s not going to kill me?”

  “Why would I kill you? I need you to take me to the party,” I said sweetly. “Take it. It’s Chinese herbs. It’s a bit bitter, but it works almost instantly. My friend brings it for me from Hong Kong. It’s brilliant for the runs. Down the whole bottle.”

  He glared at me as he glugged it all. Then he closed his eyes and lay back on the sofa. Men were such drama queens. It was just a bit of chocolate flavored laxative. I waited five minutes then sat on the sofa opposite him. “Feel better now?”

  He opened his eyes. “Slightly,” he muttered.

  “Good. Want some water.”

  “You poisoned me,” he accused melodramatically

  Oh, for God’s sakes. “I didn’t poison you. I gave you a laxative. So you had to rush to the toilet once. It’s not the end of the world. In fact, it could even be a good thing. Clean out all the old crap.”

  “So, you will cheat to win,” he observed, looking like a kicked puppy.

  I sighed. “I didn’t cheat. You didn’t set any rules.”

  He made a face.

  “And I was desperate.”

  He touched his stomach gingerly.

  “If I say sorry, can we call it a truce?” I ventured and he nodded.

  “I’m sorry.”

  He nodded again. I was really starting to like this guy. And that was a bad thing. A very bad thing.

  “We really should spend an hour together and discuss this in a mature responsible way. Get our lies straight. You know, where, when, how we met, etc.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’ll cook for you,” I suggested.

  He recoiled. He actually recoiled in horror.

  I raised both hands. “Okay. Okay. I only offered because you look like you can’t cook to save your life.”

  His eyes widened. “Did you just insult my cooking skills?”

  “No. Absolutely not. I’m looking forward to eating your cooking.”

  “I’m busy for the rest of the week. Tuesday next, 7.30 p.m. okay with you?”

  “Great.”

  He stood and I jumped up. “I’m really sorry,” I said as we walked to the door.

  He turned and grinned suddenly. “How sorry?”

  I took a step back, thrown by the abrupt change in him. I knew I had started it, but I didn’t really think it through. “How sorry do you want me to be?” I asked uncertainly.

  He stared into my eyes, making my insides melt. “I’ll think about it and tell you the next time I see you.”

  23

  Mimi

  My first stop in the entryway was always the mailbox. I pulled a few envelopes out and headed for the elevator. There was a smile on my face when I thought about how well I was doing at work. I could hold my head up high and when I ran into Josh, which was often, I found it easy to act as if I bore no grudge at all. Maybe I didn’t. My heart was never in it and I was actually relieved to know the truth.

  Tracee was so right. I could do much better than him. I still wasn’t sure what I was thinking when I decided to sleep with him. Now when I looked at him, all I saw was a frat boy who’d never grown up. He worked out, but the drinking he did with his buddies kept him slightly soft and a little pudgy. His idea of reading was a Maxim magazine. I had nothing against action movies, but that was all he was willing to watch. Now he was going to be a father. I wasn’t sure who I felt worse for, Lillian, the kid, or him.

  I hit the elevator button and looked down at my mail. The sight of a handwritten envelope in the middle of bills and junk mail made me forget all about Josh. I opened it as I stepped onto the elevator. There was a ticket inside, along with a note.

  I have an extra tick
et for tonight’s show. Are you free? – Max

  I took a closer look at the ticket and gasped. Adele? He had an extra ticket to see Adele? Whoever has an extra ticket to see Adele? And from the looks of it, the seat was only four rows back from the stage. My hands trembled with excitement as I struggled to figure out if it was all a big joke. A little revenge for the laxative trick I played on him.

  I hoped he didn’t think that what happened at his apartment would happen again. I was so, so drunk when we made out. I wouldn’t let myself lose control again. I was soooo off men. I wanted nothing to do with men for years. I had absolutely no intention of hooking up with him. Just imagine having to listen to all his women night after night for the rest of my life. I shivered. No thanks.

  I thought of that soul-searing kiss. With him, I could lose my heart, and that would be a very stupid thing to do. Far stupider than going out with Josh.

  But…Adele.

  I had tried and tried to get tickets, but no go. I couldn’t even score seats in the nosebleed section. Nada. And here was Max, handing one over like it was nothing.

  If he’d left it in my mailbox, it meant he was probably at home. I screwed up my courage and went up to his door. I had to stay strong. I couldn’t fall prey to his cool gray eyes or that magnetic pull that seemed to pulse out of him. Or that sensuous mouth.

  When he answered the door, it was with a smile on his face and a cocktail in one hand. “Hey, there.” He couldn’t have been smoother if he tried. I told myself to keep my eyes off his body. He was wearing sweats, and I could see the outline of his sizeable crown jewels.

  “Hey.” I held up the ticket. “Are you serious about this?”

  He shrugged, a sexy smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. “Does it look like a real ticket?”

  “Yes.”

  “So, I guess I’m serious.”

  I looked at it again, then at him. “Who’s going? I mean, how many tickets are there?”