“I-I should’ve called one of the guys at the club. I don’t even know why I freakin’ called you. You’re in fucking Vegas!” she hollers out. I can almost imagine her putting her hand in front of her face. It’s obvious she feels defeated as hell.
I sit up a little straighter in my bed, grab the remote to the TV and turn the volume down. “I’m not a mind reader, girl. What’s goin’ on up there? You okay?”
She’s silent for a little longer than I want before she starts to talk again. “I came into town to let loose after all the shit that happened. I needed to destress, to let my hair down and dance it out. I drove my car into town and parked it two blocks away from Marcie’s,” Marcie’s is about the only club in Billings. It’s family-friendly during the day but turns into a completely different scene at night. “I was fine. Had a couple of drinks, ate some food, danced a bit. I drank a good bit of water and sobered up before I decided to walk down to my car but as I was coming up on it I saw these guys. They were lookin’ all around my car, Hawk. I don’t know what caused me to jump in the alley, but thank fuck I did. T-they said they were going to s-squeeze the cash out of me.”
“You owe some people cash?” I question. I may have only met her one time, but she seemed to be pretty damn responsible.
“No, not me. My fucking pill head of a mother. It can’t be a coincidence that earlier this evening she essentially asked me for money and then I walk up to the situation I did.”
“She asked you for money? Why?”
“She owes someone some. I haven’t seen the woman in years and she only calls me up when she needs something from me. Typical. What typical bullshit. I should’ve known better and never come out to dinner with her. I feel so naïve for it now.”
I shake my head even though she can’t see it. “No, don’t feel naïve. You were hopeful. You wanted to think the best of things, right?”
“Yeah,” she admits.
“Exactly what I thought. Don’t ever feel bad for wanting to give people the benefit of the doubt. There are far too many times where people just give up on others. You’re not like that, and fuck if it doesn’t make you more attractive. Anyway, let’s get back to you, babe. Where are you now?”
“I’m in town. I walked down the alley and cut across another one. It didn’t feel safe to go near my car ‘cause those guys were still there. I-I didn’t know what to do, so I called you.” I get a warm feeling in my chest as she admits she thought to call me. Obviously, she feels safe by my presence even if I’m not physically with her, and that makes me beam with pride.
“Okay. I want you to stay on the phone with me. We’re going to call Zane and get you sorted. Okay?”
“Alright.”
7
“Thoughts are the Shadow of our feelings — always darker, emptier, simpler.”
~Friedrich Nietzsche
Raven
“I’m gonna stay on the phone with you until Zane and Hammer get there. You don’t need to worry,” Hawk says, reassuring me.
I feel my heart pounding in my chest as I hide behind a dumpster. Right now I’m regretting not getting further away from my car. All I did was go down the damn alley and turn next to a dumpster. I should’ve kept going until I could hide with people in a bar or have gone back to Marcie’s.
The sounds of feet hitting the pavement cause me to freak out even further. “What’s going on? You’re too quiet,” Hawk says into the phone as I glance around the area to try and figure out where the sound is coming from.
“General said we needed to grab her. Blake said she wasn’t at the bar like the one kid said, which only means she’s around here somewhere. We gotta find this bitch. If we can grab her, I bet her family will pay up,” a rugged voice says rather loudly.
“Hawk, they’re talking about grabbing me. Where is Zane? I’m gonna try to find a better hiding spot,” I whisper into the phone, trying to not let my nerves get the best of me.
I look around for anything that will better conceal me and can’t find a damn thing. The only thing that might work is going to smell atrocious. I toss my purse behind the dumpster and drop down to the ground, army crawling under the gap. It’s freezing under here from the snowfall that we’ve had, but I’m hoping whoever these guys are don’t think about looking under here.
“He’ll be there soon. You did share your exact location with him on your phone, right?”
“Yeah,” I whisper even lower, hearing the crunching of feet on the snow growing closer.
“A chick told me she ran back here,” another voice pipes up, causing me to breathe in and out slowly with my mouth. If I’m quiet enough, they won’t find me and they’ll go on their merry way.
“Fuck off, Blake. You weren’t right the first time. Highly doubt you are this time either.”
“Shit, I’m trying to help your asses nab this little slut and you’re giving me hell? Last thing I remember is you two got your asses into shit with General. Fuck, Dante. I won’t help you or Alec ever again,” Blake hisses out at his comrades.
“Fuck, I’m hearin’ all of it, Baby Bird. Just breathe and don’t you blow your cover,” Hawk whispers.
I close my eyes and focus on not only my breathing but how I can hear Hawk breathe through the phone. For some reason it calms me down, causing me to relax a bit more and not worry about whoever these guys are. They have to be tied to my mom and brother’s shit, though. There’s no doubt about it.
Fuck, I just wish I would’ve never gone to dinner with her. I regret it so much now knowing what I do. Part of me wanted her to have changed. I craved it. All I wanted was for my Momma to be back and all the pain to be gone. It was hard enough when Dad left and at such a detrimental age in my life. I don’t mean to resent her for what she started to do, but I was a kid, I shouldn’t have had to help keep my family together. Neither should’ve Matt. It’s probably why he’s as hooked on pills as she is these days. I don’t blame him for not wanting to be strong, but what they did wasn’t okay.
“There are tracks in the snow here,” one of them says, but I can’t tell who it is. All their voices sound the same to me right now. My heart is pounding in my head as I start to get nervous, worrying they’ve found my hiding spot.
I take in a sharp breath when I feel a hand grab my foot and tug me. Instantly, I drop my phone, planting my palms in the snow, trying my hardest to not get pulled any further. It’s no use, though. Instead, I end up hitting my head on the way out.
My eyes land on a big, chunky man with a beard. He doesn’t look the druggie type at all, but he does look like some sort of muscle. “Boy, am I glad you’re not the brightest marker in the box. You woulda made me run to catch you.”
I hear a snicker and look behind him. “Your plan worked, Blake.”
“Of course, it worked. I used to grab rabbits straight outta the hole too. This little rabbit was easy to find.”
The big guy, Blake, has let go of my foot and I tear off like hell, trying not to slip. I didn’t exactly wear the most sensible shoes tonight. Of course, all I wanted to do was let loose a little bit. My shoulder wasn’t hurting like a bitch and I thought it would be fun. If I knew this would’ve happened, I would’ve stayed in.
Placing one foot in front of the other, I turn right and run as quickly as I can toward the road. “You idiot, get her!” one of the men yells from behind me.
I know I shouldn’t, but of course, when shit like this is happening to you, all you do is scream. So, I scream like Laurie in Halloween. I figure, what the hell, if someone is out here and they hear a woman screaming, they’d help her, right?
Fuck, in this world probably not. Jesus, I’m too damn hopeful.
I’ve made it to almost the edge of the alley and onto the road when I run smack dab into a hard chest. Instantly I jump because it startles me like nothing else. After all, this could be another one of those bad guys. “Raven?”
Zane’s voice instantly soothes me, but I look back and see two men running this way.
> “Zane, them! It’s them! They’re trying to get me!” I holler out and see Zane look back to Hammer and Blackjack, who came with him.
“It’s about time they pick on someone their own size. Don’t you think?” Zane chuckles. Pulling his gun from his holster, he pulls the safety, aims, and I hear a loud noise that burns my ears. Jesus Christ, he’s shooting at them.
“What the fuck! These guys have guns!” one of the men screams. I’m betting it’s that Blake dude. He goes on, “Fuck this! General can deal with this bitch!”
Blackjack stands right next to me, hand on his Glock while he surveys the area. He’s always been the protector, looking for any sort of threat. Hammer though, he goes right in lighting the place up.
I didn’t even realize I’d been shaking until Blackjack pulls me into a hug and rubs my back. “We’ve got you. You’re alright, Raven.”
I don’t know what to say so I remain quiet, standing in the safety net that is my friend. Fuck, I remember that night Connor shot us up at the bar. I cursed God for sending Ivy into my life, but now I’m thanking him. Without the Reapers MC’s protection, anything could’ve happened to me tonight. I’m just so thankful nothing did and that they found me at just the right time.
8
“You become what you understand.”
~ Soren Kierkegaard
Raven
“I need you to go over this with me, Raven. There isn’t any avoiding it, I’m afraid,” Zane firmly tells me. We’re in the bedroom that Frank and I share. As soon as we got back here, Zane kicked Frank out and told him to sleep on the couch downstairs so we could have a chat.
“I don’t want to talk about this right now. Can’t we do this tomorrow? I’m exhausted, freezing, and tired as hell.”
Zane huffs, crossing his arms, and looks at me in the way someone in power would. “I want you to know that I care about you, Raven. However, I don’t give a fuck that you don’t want to talk about it. You will because I’m the Prez of the Reapers and you’re under our protection. I need to know what we’re getting ourselves into. We’ve just gone through hell and most of us have lost everything we’ve ever known. I need to know about the skeletons in your closet so I can prepare.”
I roll my eyes. “No, you’re the interim Prez. You’re only the Prez right now because Fist has suffered two traumatic losses and he’s grieving. I don’t have to tell you shit.”
Zane cackles, slapping his hands together. “Girl, if you were mine, your ass would be so red for speaking to me like that.”
I think I’ve heard him wrong until I see the naughty smile that breaks through. Whoa. Zane must be into some kinky shit.
What he said causes me to raise a brow. He said if I was his, which means he already thinks I belong to someone. That’s how things work in motorcycle clubs, from what I’ve seen. Men mark women as their property, their ol’ ladies. “Who is it I belong to?”
Zane’s eyes flash with a spark of playfulness. It’s not typical for him. If anything, he’s the serious brother while Kade is the fun one. “Are you saying you don’t belong to anyone?”
“You can’t answer a question with a question. I asked first,” I point out, unable to hold myself back from rolling my eyes.
I stare down at the circular ring he wears on his right index finger. It's about as big as his thumb and I wonder the significance in the design. Out of all the men here, he’s the only one who wears any sort of jewelry. “Everyone here knows Hawk has his eye on you. I could tell by the way he was speaking to you on the phone. Never has he been that caring, or patient for that matter. In this lifestyle, men like us make unspoken claims and others have to respect them.”
“Until the actual claim happens,” I say, getting a nod in agreement from Zane.
“Now it’s my turn. Are you not interested in him?”
“I never said that,” I point out, wondering what Zane is getting at. “Is this the point where you tell me you have your eye on me?”
Zane chuckles. “It wasn’t, but I will now. I’ve had my eye on you since Ivy brought you home, but we’d be a one-trick pony, honey. I’m engaged.”
“Wait. What?” I’ve been here for a few weeks and never have I seen a woman hanging around Zane the way these chicks stick to their men.
Zane walks from his commanding position in front of my doorway and takes a seat on my bed, letting loose a bit. “I’ve been engaged since I was a child.”
“Like an arranged marriage?”
He nods, “Yeah.”
“Wow. I didn’t realize those still existed.”
“They do. Not just in our world, but the mafia’s too. They’re definitely more common there. My Dad arranged it when I was small, to one of the daughters of another MC. It’ll unify our allies.” He says the last sentence with a bit more seriousness laced through his tone. It’s obvious to me Zane never had any choice in the matter, but he’s accepted it.
“Do you know her name?” I inquire, a bit curious about it. I walk away from the window and take a seat next to him on the bed, crossing my left leg under my thigh.
“There are a couple of them, but their MC has had threats made against them. I don’t know which one I’ll marry.”
“When do you get married?”
“Now that’s the golden question. If I’m lucky, not for a couple of years. But since Dad’s . . . the way he is right now, I’m betting everything in my life will speed up, including marriage.”
“Wow. So, you’ve never spoken to this woman and you’ve stayed abstinent for years?”
Zane cracks up into laughter. “Who said I haven’t gotten my dick wet? Have you seen me, babe? Women come running for this.”
One thing I hate more than anything else is when men are cocky bastards, but Zane is a bit different. He’s only been kind and humble, so he’s showing me another side of him now. Zane and Kade are almost identical, but they have a few small differences. At first, I couldn’t tell them apart, but Kade’s snowflake tattoo helps. That and Zane has a darker shade of brown hair, almost black but not quite. Both of them are easy on the eyes, though. So easy, they deserve to be on GQ covers.
“So, you just want to fuck me,” I state, understanding what he meant by his one-trick pony reference.
“I mean, yeah. Nothing could come of the two of us since I’m already promised to some chick I don’t know, but I still have needs. The way I look at it, you and I are here, in this room. Hawk is so far away, he won’t be coming back anytime soon. You’ve had a long, stressful day and I wouldn’t blame you for needing someone, sweetie. It must be hard being here, alone. Shit, babe, the way you ran into my arms earlier . . . Mmm.” Zane brings his hand up to my cheek and brushes his fingertips against me. It sends shockwaves through my body, covers me with goosebumps, and makes me think about everything he just said.
Hawk is just a man, I know. He’s a friend, a friend that I want more from if we’re given the opportunity. But he isn’t here— Zane is.
9
The best relationships start off as friendship first.
@KushAndWizdom
Raven
There’s a small part of me that feels guilty for looking at Zane the way I am right now. I’m unsure why the shame is even coming to the forefront of my mind. Maybe it’s solely because I do like Hawk . . . but we’re only friends. Hell, we could be friends forever or it could turn into something else. I’m not a mind reader. Sometimes, I wish I was. I could’ve avoided a lot of pain in my past.
I shut my eyes for a moment and internally tell myself it doesn’t matter what I do with Zane tonight. Hawk and I won’t even be able to see if we’d be good together until I officially move down to Las Vegas. Right now, we’re basically just flirting from afar.
Zane moves his hand from my cheek down to my chin, “What’s it gonna be, Raven?”
I glance down to his fingers holding onto my chin securely and meet his eyes with my own. Zane smiles like he already knows I’ve made up my mind, and it’s probably becaus
e I have a shit poker face.
I grab ahold of his arm and move his hand up higher, sucking his thumb into my mouth. The thought of sexual release is enough to make some of the horrors I endured today dissipate. Zane pulls his thumb free and stares at me like I’m a sexual goddess.
“Fuck, I have no idea what I’m in for, do I?” he asks, while his eyes can’t focus on one part of me.
I slide off the bed and stand in front of him, shimmying out of my clothes quickly. No part of me wants this to be sensual. I want a rough, dirty fuck and Zane seems like he’s the man to give it to me. I think about Hawk for a moment— wondering if I’d do this to him if he were here. Shit. The answer is no because I want Hawk to mean something to me. Zane never will. He’s as easy as a slut.
Zane takes his hands and rips off his shirt, immediately going to his belt buckle and kicks his jeans and boots to the floor in one swift movement. I keep my eyes glued to his abs. They’re so defined you could probably wash clothes on them. I slip my tongue over my lip and go from left to right, taunting him as I wait to see his dick pop free.
Zane takes down his boxers and I gasp when I see the piercings he has down there. I drop to my knees eager to get a closer look. He has one directly below the head of his cock, and another that goes through his urethra and out the other side. I think it’s called a Prince Albert but I’m not sure. “What, you never fucked a man with iron before?”
I shake my head, “No, I haven’t.”
He snickers, grabbing me by the back of the neck and pulling my mouth up to the head of his cock. “Well, sweetie, you’re about to get an entirely different experience. Now, suck my cock. I wanna remember those pouty lips of yours going down my shaft.”
Hawk: Reapers MC Book #6 Page 4
